Member Reviews

This book is about trans pianist, Miles Jacobson as he tries to win back his ex and beat his rival pianist in a competition. I found Miles to be pretty likable and understanding. I related to him a lot in certain issues he faced being trans. The representation was beautiful and the way his parents were dealing with his coming out was realistic. There was only one part of the book I struggled with, I could not seem to keep up with all the characters and their descriptions. At one point a character was said to be a person of color and I had not remembered that fact from before. This could be a fault of mine by not paying enough attention. Overall I think this book was cute while also dealing with what it means to be trans and the everyday life of a teenager. The writing was good and all the main characters seemed very lively by each having their own stories and growth in the book.

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This is a fast favorite and let me tell you why.

Miles' boyfriend breaks up with him when he comes out as trans, but Miles has a plan to win him back. Not only that, but he wants to win the biggest piano competition in the Midwest. But will his plans stay on course when the new kid in school catches his attention?

This book is unapologetically trans. And it is amazing. We watch Miles socially transition by changing his name & pronouns, there are open discussions about binding & what Miles wants in the future regarding his transition, we see Miles struggle with dysphoria and find moments of euphoria, and there's even a character who asks his pronouns first.

But I want to put a warning out there for my trans friends - the transphobia is a bit heavy. We see it subtly within his family, explicitly on online forums, there are instances of misgendering, and Miles is referred to by his birth name in any pre transition parts of the book. Please be aware of this and if you need to, set the book down until you're ready.

Another reason I love this book is Eric. Miles and Eric are precious and deserve to be protected at all costs. I would have loved some more exploration with Eric's character & his relationship to gender (no specifics to avoid direct spoilers), or even another book dedicated to him would be ideal??

Anyway, everything was just done very well - the characters, the details, the conflict, the growth. I was hooked from the start and could not put it down.

Rep: trans MC, gay MC, pan SC, lesbian SC, Chinese SC, Latine SC, SC with Down Syndrome

CW: deadnaming, misgendering, transphobia, homophobia, racism, bullying, trauma, dysphoria, infidelity

Rating system:
5 - absolutely love, little-to-no dislikes that did not impact my reading experience

4 - great book, minor dislikes that did have an impact on my reading experience

3 - good/decent book but for some reason did not hook me or there were some problematic things that just were not addressed or greatly impacted my reading experience

2 - is either a book I did not click with and did not enjoy, problematic aspects are not addressed and severely impacted my reading experience, or I DNF'd but think it has potential for others

1 - is very problematic, I would not recommend the book to anyone

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I honestly thought I was not going to like this book when I realized it was a LGBTQ+ but couldn't put it down. Miles and his friends are typical teenagers with typical teenage problems. Miles is also trans and trying find his place in the world. His piano teach helps him a lot through this journey. Some of the teenage drama is over the top and can be annoying but it's teenage drama. It is a great YA novel that anyone can relate to.

Thank you to Netgalley for this ARC

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dnf @ 40%. i really was enjoying this story and the characters, but I just couldn’t connect. I just couldn’t understand why Miles was so hung up on Shane when he was seemingly very interested in Eric who was equally interested in him. It really confused me and made the story less enjoyable. Nevertheless, I am glad this book exists because messy queer kids should have books to relate too as well!

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CW: transmisia, body dysmorphia, cheating, sexual harassment (recounted), hospitalization (mentioned), pneumonia, racism (mentioned), bullying

I would like to thank NetGalley and St. Martin’s Press for providing me with a free e-ARC of this book in exchange for a fair and honest review.

Miles Jacobsen finds himself on New Year’s with two things in mind: finally winning the Tri-State Piano Competition and getting back together with his ex-boyfriend, Shane. Then comes in Eric Mendez, who seems to really like Miles for who he is. After a friendship turns into something more after a Valentine’s Day couples party, Miles finds himself wondering

Always the Almost is a book full of joy. Underhill’s writing definitely translates to such beautiful imagery of everything from piano to finding yourself to falling in love. While this book deals with darker topics and not everything is sunshine and rainbows, I think that Underhill really does a great job with illustrating queer joy shown in Miles’ and Eric’s character development.

Miles and Eric’s relationship, for me, was really the star of the show. From the moment you see Miles and Eric first meeting each other, I knew that Eric was perfect for Miles. The way he genuinely cares about Miles throughout the book is prominent and really allows for Miles to grow in finding himself. I really felt for these characters and I continually kept rooting for them throughout the book.

I cannot wait for people to read Always the Almost next year. If you are looking for a heartfelt YA novel about falling in love while finding yourself, you are going to love Always the Almost.

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3, 3.5 stars? It was pretty solid, I just didn’t feel that strongly about it and I had a few issues with it. To be fair, I am a cis woman in my 30s who’s increasingly picky about YA, so I recognize that I’m not who this book is really for.

The good:

-The nuanced portrayal of transphobia and homophobia. Miles’s parents are in that in-between zone of like, not disowning him or sending him to conversion therapy, but not pleased with his identities either. They’re shitty about his gender and sexuality in different ways, and not in the ways you might expect. I’ve read books where I felt like I could anticipate every homophobic/transphobic beat, but this book wasn’t like that.

-It’s funny. “She looks like a really gay bee.” Rachel’s crush on Miles’s piano teacher!

-The way other characters, like Miles’s friends and love interest and piano teacher, have their own shit going on that has nothing to do with Miles. Miles is a part of their lives, but they don’t exist just to be supporting characters in his story. I mean, they are supporting characters in his story, but they’re fleshed out enough that you can see they also have their own stories.

The bad:

-In some ways I felt like the author picked the wrong character to be the love interest. Eric, the love interest, is great. He’s a cinnamon roll. He is exactly who Miles should date, if this was real life. But this isn’t real life, and for a fictional love interest, he might be a little too perfect. I spent most of the book thinking that Miles has more chemistry with Cameron and that that would make for a great rivals-to-lovers romance (until the end, when Cameron makes some highly offensive comments). Miles seems kind of obsessed with Cameron. And just look at how he describes him: “This time, it’s Cameron. He breezes through, dressed entirely in black — black shirt, black suit, even a black tie. It makes his pale skin look like marble, and his blond hair stand out like gold.”

-Eric has an adorable little sister, which on the one hand, yay! On the other hand, it felt to me like an unrealistically rosy portrayal of a young child as sweet and happy all the time. Like, at one point she wants to watch Cinderella, and Eric has to tell her that she can’t watch Cinderella, and she just peacefully accepts that with no complaint at all. I get that the author might have been worried about a potentially ableist portrayal of Nina because she's disabled, but no kid (disabled or otherwise) is easy and happy all the time!

-Miles’s love of piano felt too…separate, sort of. Not integrated enough into how he interacts with the world. Like, in The Hollow Places, the main character gets trapped in a nightmarish alternate universe and describes something there as “French gray,” because she’s a graphic designer and has an encyclopedic knowledge of colors even when she’s being pursued by horrifying aliens. I once saw a music major in an elevator spontaneously identify the two-tone elevator chime as a minor third, because her musical training made her hear intervals everywhere. Those are the kinds of details I want from a character who’s as deeply involved with something as Miles is with classical piano.

-The final twist (a small one, not like a thriller-level twist) felt kind of anticlimactic. Like, I figured (spoiler) Lily Shimada would be important later, but I thought there would be more to it than that.

Rep: Main character is a (very recently out) white gay trans guy. Love interest is implied to be Latino, presents as a cis guy but is low-key questioning his gender and might be nonbinary, and describes his sexual orientation as “I like people. Just…people” (if I had to label him, I'd label him pansexual). Side characters (main character’s friends) are lesbians, at least one of whom is at least somewhat masculine-presenting and is a Jewish atheist pagan. Another side character has Down syndrome.

Content notes: Infidelity. Some homophobia and transphobia, but not extremely intense or physically violent. Brief discussion of main character's chest dysphoria. Brief hospitalization of a loved one.

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This book is like a delightful warm hug! From start to finish, Underhill has crafted a cast of characters so warm, so kind, so thoughtful, so generous that I just wanted to live in the world of this book. Underhill's main character, Miles, is deeply likable and realistic, and readers will root for him every step of the way. The LI is exactly the kind of love interest you want for a hero like Miles: heart-filled, compassionate, funny, and pure joy. I will be buying this book for everyone I know!

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This was a great book for queer representation and I’m really glad that it was written. It was always really interesting and I thought it was a really sweet story as well with realistic representation of queer couples.

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This book was fine, I guess. Just wasn't really for me. The prose was so-so and the plot was meh. The book overall just wasn't really my thing, unfortunately. I was sort of looking forward to this one.

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This book was... beautiful.

The prose were lovely while still having that YA approachability. All of the main characters were multi faceted. All the plot points were equally special: the music competition, Mile's identity, and the love story.

I can't personally speak to the challenges Miles dealt with as a trans male teenager but I can say that his heartbreak, his mistakes, and his growth were all just beautifully told.

Absolutely loved.


CW: transphobia, racism, homophobia, biphobia, bullying, toxic relationships, infidelity, deadnaming

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I thought the pacing was great and enjoyed watching the relationships develop between characters--especially with Miles and his demanding new piano teacher--as Miles becomes more and more himself.

I also really enjoyed the snapshots of different experiences: the trans teen experience (both at school and at home), LGBTQ+ dating, Wisconsin winters, and competitive piano competitions. These aspects of the story felt authentic and made Miles's world seem real.

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Always the Almost is a very cute book following Miles, a newly out trans teenager. It is New Years at the start of the book and Miles has made the resolution to 1) beat his arch-nemesis in the biggest piano competition in the Midwest and 2) win back his ex-boyfriend who broke up with him when Miles came out. Enter Eric, the new kid in town who asks Miles' pronouns and cares about art as much as he does.

I absolutely fell in love with these characters and this story. This was a really good example of writing a book with queer characters where their queerness is not the main facet of their identities, but simply one piece of who they are.

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This was an unexpected deeply emotional YA that really surprised me. Miles Jacobson is a character that feels really well developed most of the time and presents a journey that it poignant, while also being honest and joyful, there’s no denying there’s plenty of heart in this one and the author truly packs in a lot of themes, drama, and character dynamic into this one.

While I did overall enjoy this one, I do have to say I’m a bit saddened that so much was included because, ultimately, I felt it detracted from Miles’ story overall and made it very hard for me to truly appreciate and understand him, or even like him at all because there’s some really tough choices he makes. This a is one instance where I sadly wish the break up actually lasted in this one, as I don’t feel MIles was really ready for a relationship given all that’s going on in his life, especially as he still struggles to really accept and love himself fully.

I understand teens can be very selfish and single minded, I also understand that its often they go through break ups & make ups, drama over cheating and secrets, and friendships being tested as you grow up over time, but to me, these themes felt too distracting from Miles and what I felt was the more important self-discovery and acceptance journey he was on. There’s also a lot that seems to be going on with his family, the tension is certainly felt throughout and I felt like it was never really addressed, especially with Miles’ father. I’ll elaborate a bit in spoiler tags.

<spoiler> So, like I said, I know teenage angst is expected here and also fairly reflective and accurate of real life, but the cheating themes here felt very wrong and overplayed. From the beginning, it’s clear Miles is still hung up on Shane, winning him back after coming out is Miles’ New Years resolution (which that in and of itself let very uncomfortable because you can’t MAKE or CONVINCE someone they’re queer). So when Eric comes along, and as we see Miles think about, fantasize, and still pine after Shane while dating Eric officially, it became really hard to continue reading. I can understand Miles was confused and struggling, but again, this is where I think Miles should have been alone to figure that out. And for readers and teens who are the Erics of the world — you deserve better. The way Miles handles the cheating is a clusterfuck, wanting only to ‘explain’ himself without apologizing and referring to it as ‘the mistake’. It’s not just a mistake, while the physical cheating was once, the emotional cheating went on for the entire relationship with Eric and Miles never cops to that. The ultimate “make up” between them felt so cheap and without any clear indication that Miles would really be a partner to Eric. I think what made all of this so much worse was that I never bought into Miles even liking Eric. If felt like Miles just liked that Eric liked him and accepted him, and ultimately, that’s all still very selfish. Just because they’re teens doesn’t mean you can’t have or expect a partnership in your romantic relationship, like you don’t deserve respect and care and Eric doesn’t get that from Miles ever.

While I loved how Shane comes around on everything and how he clumsily explains his perspective to Miles, I didn’t love how Miles felt he could convince Shane that he should still be attracted to him after he came out as trans and gay. That entitlement, while maybe immature and yes, teenage, just felt very…wrong. And again, I don’t think Miles really ever sees that other than one sentence in the whole book. I think the thought process Miles has can make sense, but I just wish there was more back end development and maturity.

The cheating between Paige and and Rachel - that whole side plot was also distracting and felt unnecessary. Not to mention, Miles once again acts so poorly. He expects Rachel to just be ok with Paige cheating on her and immediately coupling up with someone new. I just don’t understand that logic and I can tell you that that is DEFINITELY not accurate of teens. Their relationships are very dramatics and breakups are chock full of pining and angsty emotions, see literally any of our teen bands and playlists. So the fact that Miles expects this to be very simple and easy felt so off and it felt irrational because clearly your friend is in pain and betrayed. When I was a teen we had the equivalent of burn parties for my friends ex’s, we plotted their demise in dramatic fashion, I didn’t just tell them to….get over it.

Ultimately my issue is that it feels like Miles gets to skate by with his behavior because he’s going through things with his identity and sexuality and while that may be true, I don’t think that’s enough and I think the inclusion of so many dramatic elements and threads and side plots came at the expense of recalling bringing anything full circle with any sense of justice and depth. </spoiler>

So while I love the overall message and goal of this story, I wish it was more YA fiction than YA rom-dram because the romance didn’t feel real or equal, and it detracted from the more important issues that desperately needed more development and page time, namely the family dynamics and Miles’ feelings about himself.

Thank you Penguin Teen for my ARC!

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Miles has finally decided to show the world who he really is, and now he begins the year with two resolutions in mind: winning back his ex boyfriend, and finally beating his piano rival after placing second for two years in a row. Edward Underhill manages to take us into Miles’ head and let’s us know his struggles and doubts, but always brings a hint of joy to every moment.

The side characters are all written exceptionally well, specially Eric and his sister Nina, I had a smile on my face every time those two were together in a scene. No character feels like a repetition of another and no one is written to be perfect, making them feel relatable and like someone you could have known at a point in your life.

There is a section in the story with relationship drama, making the plot seem to slow down for a few pages, but it begins to resolve quickly.

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This book made me feel all the feelings. I loved the MC and the side characters equally because they were so well-written. I need a sequel and a spinoff with the side characters ASAP. I do wish that we got to see more of the relationship between Miles and Cameron. I can not wait for this book to come out so I can go out and buy a physical copy and reread it.
Thank you to the publishers and Netgalley for providing me with an E-ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.

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i would say this is a true 3.75 star review! overall, really enjoyed it and it was a nice light read. i think it moved a little slow in the beginning but it was fun to dive back into high school. i'm not the biggest fan of YA at this point, but think this will be perfect for those who are and can see it having the ability to really take off.

thank you to netgalley for the arc copy in advance!

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Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an eARC.

4.5 stars.

Miles is a recently out trans boy who's dealing with trying to win back his straight ex-boyfriend, trying to beat his piano rival, and changing relationships with his parents after coming out. His dad misses his daughter and his mom is cool with having a son, but wishes he were straight. There's a new boy in school who agrees to fake date Miles so they can go to a couples dance together, and they from a relationship from there.

There was definitely way less fake dating than I was expecting. Miles and Eric only faked for a few hours before starting to date for real, so that's a little disappointing if you're reading for that aspect.

I'm very glad Eric exists and this wasn't an enemies-to-lovers with Cameron, because fuck that guy.

The synopsis makes it sound like this book is mostly about Miles trying to win back Shane and his relationship with Eric, but, while those are important parts, the piano competition is where this book really shines. I usually do not like books that have a lot to do with music, but any time Miles was at a piano was absolutely amazing. I would've preferred more piano and a little less friend group drama.

Later on in the book, there is some almost miscommunication. I feel it's more teenagers being bad at communicating, but some readers might get really put off by it.

In the second of the book, Miles's thoughts were frequently presented in parentheses, which didn't bother me, but was odd, especially as I didn't notice it much during the first half and they're completely unnecessary.

The line "She looks like a really gay bee." absolutely cracked me up.

This was an amazing debut and I hope it finds its audience.

Rep: trans and gay main character, lesbian side characters, queer (possibly pan, but not labeled) love interest, side character with Down Syndrome

CW: dead naming, transphobia, homophobia, racism, body dysphoria, cheating

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Always the Almost is about Miles, a trans pianist, as he grapples with themes of self worth and identity while working to win first place at a prestigious classical piano competition and win back his ex for New Year’s - until a mysterious new love interest shows up!

I enjoyed this book! It was an easy, laid back read with relatable teen emotions. I think there needs to be more books about classical musicians, as this is one out of few that I’ve read! As a pianist, I really appreciated that aspect.

Thanks to Wednesday books and NetGalley for the ARC!

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i loved this book!
the charcters were well developed, and the cover was also gorgeous
the romance was to die for and I loved almost everything about this
overall 4 out of 5 stars would definitely recommend to anyone who likes ya romance

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I was excited to get my hands on this book from the moment I saw it, months ago, and it was instaintly a preorder for me. I'm so glad I did, and after reading the ARC, I can't wait to get my hands on the physical copy of it!!! Miles and Eric were both very, very real to me from the begining. Reading books like this, I always think "Oh, come on, Miles. Shane is a jerk, he can't see and love you for you, why can't you understand that?' But then if I was in Mile's shoes, I would be thinking the same thing as him, which is why he's such a real chaaracter for me. And I just love Eric, such a wonderful character! Reading them grow closer and find love in each other has my romantic heart singing.
Thank you for this book!! It really was a wonderful, happy read!

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