Trans pianist finds himself trying to win a piano competition, win back his ex, and figure out just what is going on with the new boy in his life. Miles Jacobson is a sixteen-year old trans boy who has two New Years resolutions: win back his ex-boyfriend who dumped him when Miles transitioned into being a boy and 2) beat his arch-nemesis at the midwest’s biggest classical piano competition. Things are not going to be easy, Miles can’t fathom why his ex boyfriend broke up with him and why he can’t just love him despite his transition but Shane made it clear that he is straight and not gay. Miles is determined to change Shane’s mind. Then there is the new boy in town, sweet and artistic Eric Mendez. Eric is perfect: he’s sweet, he’s attentive, he goes out of his way to make sure things are okay and that he gets the pronouns right. Eric is confusing Miles because on one hand Eric makes his stomach flutter on the other hand Miles is still obsessed with his ex. When Eric and Miles decide to pretend date to get into a Valentine’s party for couples only, things take a turn and now they are actually dating. Now Miles is struggling with his too perfect relationship with Eric and trying to win his ex back, all the while juggling a new pianist teacher and the pressures of trying to win the piano competition. Can he finally figure out what he wants?

This book had all the things I would love except the one glaring issue, which was Miles himself. I never, ever, condone cheating in a relationship. I could empathize with Miles trying to understand why his ex broke up with but trying to force his ex to like him despite Shane being clear on his boundaries and orientation just felt wrong. Also Eric was just too sweet and cute, and I honestly hoped he would have just ended up as friends only with Miles as a result of what happened in the third act breakup. I get that Miles was confused but the obsession with Shane was eh, and I genuinely felt bad for what Eric had to go through. Miles was figuring himself out, I get it, but he just didn’t come off as likable to me unfortunately. The story has potential but it just wasn’t there for me. However, despite this, definitely give it a read, it’s a queer romance that deals with the struggles of transitioning and finding yourself.

*Thanks Netgalley and St. Martin's Press, Wednesday Books for sending me an arc in exchange for an honest review*

Miles Jacobson has two resolutions for the New Year: beat his rival Cameron Hart at the Tri-State Piano Competition, and win back his ex-boyfriend Shane McIntyre, who broke up with him after Miles came out as trans and adopted a new name and new pronouns. He wants to prove that he's the same person Shane fell in love with, but Miles very quickly realizes that maybe he's changing more than he realized. After all, his new piano teacher is challenging him not to play it safe in the competition and to understand why he wants to play his chosen concerto, and a new guy in Miles's homeroom, Eric Mendez, offers a warm acceptance of everything Miles is and wants to be. Will all these changes divert Miles from his goals, or show him a new path?

This tender book shows not just the difficulties but also the joys a young trans person encounters as they embrace who they really are. Miles struggles with his ex's inability to see how they can remain together as well as with other people expressing discomfort or even doubt about his transition, but those struggles are offset by the small wins that make Miles feel more settled in his true identity: finding a suit that fits, understanding what he wants to express through his music, and discovering people who accept and embrace who he is in his full messy humanity. While other characters are slower to develop on the page, I was pleasantly surprised by who they turned out to be by book's end.

This is the book I wish could take 10-15 years back in time to share with a couple of wonderful people in my life -- though they live happy lives now, I can't help but think that a book like this might have given them hope and perspective through more difficult times. I hope this reaches many young people who need to hear that there IS joy in their lives, not just fear and anguish.

4.5 stars rounded up.

Read this if you love: LGBTQIA+ young people getting their happy endings -- and in-betweens, expressing yourself through music or art, a hint of fake dating, finding support in unexpected places.

Thank you, Wednesday Books and NetGalley, for providing an eARC of this book. Opinions expressed here are solely my own.

Edward Underhill’s debut novel, “Always the Almost,” is a heartfelt and emotional young adult contemporary romance releasing next year from Macmillan. Midwestern pianist and high schooler Miles Jacobson has just come out as trans — the result of which is a strain on his relationship with his parents and his boyfriend, Shane, ending things with him. And while his friends are accepting of him, ever since Miles and Shane began dating, he’s felt out of place. It doesn’t help, either, that his new piano teacher keeps telling Miles that he needs to figure out who he is. Desperate for a win, Miles resolves to get back together with his ex and beat his stuck-up rival at an upcoming piano competition. But when Miles meets Eric, a new boy who’s just moved into their small town, everything changes. As the two bond over their art — Eric with his cartoons and Miles with his music — and go from friends to more, Miles begins to question who he is, what he truly wants, and why he’s never felt like he’s enough for anyone, especially himself.

A trained conductor, cellist and music composer, Underhill infuses every piano scene in the novel with stunning detail and enthralling prose. Miles’ love for music, even when he’s unsure of himself, can be felt through every page. “Always the Almost” is many things, but most of all it is a love letter to queer and trans kids. Set in a small town where Miles’ tightly knit queer friend group faces homophobia, transphobia and other bigoted perspectives, the novel doesn’t shy away from the hard parts of being queer in today’s society, but it’s still infused with so much joy. There’s the tenderness of the feeling of falling in love for the first time, of finding the people and the things that make you feel more like yourself than anything else, and coming into yourself fully. Ultimately, Miles’ journey is not only one of self-discovery but also of what comes after. The process of embracing yourself in spite of everyone else. What it means to carve out a space for yourself in a place and a world that denies your existence. And how there’s strength in joy because, for marginalized people, it can and always will be an act of resistance.

In the novel’s foreword, Underhill promises readers that this book has a happy ending, and he delivers on that promise beautifully. No matter which character of the main cast readers see themselves as, they can know that no matter their identity, a happy ending exists for them — even if they haven’t seen it before.

“Always the Almost” is the perfect read for anyone looking for a book with queer and trans joy, a striking exploration of music, and a gorgeous cover. The novel is currently available for preorder.

I’m a bit torn on this one; there were lots of nice moments, and some good laughs, but I could not stand the protagonist. I just cannot root for someone who cheats, and there are TWO cheating characters in this (the Mac and one of his best friends ON HIS OTHER BEST FRIEND). I liked his piano teacher.

This is honestly a beautiful debut. It's a wonderful story about learning one's identity and figuring out what it is that they truly want. Miles' journey for self discovery is one that I wish to achieve myself one day; learning to love myself and finding the right support system for me.

I will say, there were a few smaller, side plot things that I could have skipped as they didn't really feel like they added to the story, or they could have worked a little differently for a better effect. But even with those, I loved this book. I love Miles. I love Eric. And I cannot wait to read more from Underhill.

Seriously, such a cute story. NGL, Miles was definitely problematic for trying to go after his ex but it made him more realistic and I liked how he came to see that it was wrong. I also liked how all the relationships in his life were tested. It made the story more realistic and felt well developed. I loved it more and more as I read it. It was such a sweet story with the cutest moments! I loved it and definitely recommend others check it out.

Thanks to NetGalley and the Publisher for the ARC.

Just like everyone else I was immediately in love with this book purely because of the cover and blurb so I was so excited when I got accepted for an ARC!

This coming of age novel with Trans rep absolutely stole my heart in the day or so I took reading it. So happy to see more trans rep in general but it was amazing here! Love that we got messy queer characters, (even if they annoyed me at times). I'm not not a huge fan of piano or classical music but I love how devoted Miles was and how he developed through this. He was a very real character and I loved that. On the topic of characters I did wish that the side characters got more development but eh. This is a truly beautiful read I'd recommend to fans of novels such as "I wish you all the best" (which is high praise because I adore that book).

Overall, I can't wait for this to officially come out and for everyone else to read it! I can't wait to see what else Underhill has in store.

Thank you for the advanced copy of this book! I will be posting my review on social media, to include Instagram, Amazon, Goodreads, and Instagram!

3.5/5 - I really enjoyed this book! I read most of it in one sitting and that’s always a good sign.

I loved Miles and really loved watching him find himself and his joy through classical music and the piano. The scenes in his lessons and at the competitions were so much fun to read. The author did such a great job bringing the musical aspect to life.

Thank you to NetGalley and St. Martin’s Press for giving me access to this book!

This has to be one of the best books I have read in a long time. It made me laugh and cry, I literally was laying in bed crying while reading this. As a musician myself, I connected greatly with that part of Miles, and made me love music even more. I read this book so fast and could not put it down until I finished it. I loved everything about this book and definitely will be purchasing a copy when it comes out. I highly recommend this book to everyone!

Two weeks after Miles comes out as transgender, his boyfriend Shane McIntyre breaks up with him. So, Miles decides to make two New Years resolutions, 1. Win Shane back. 2. Finally beat Cameron, his long-time nemesis at a piano competition. Then Miles meets Eric & the sparks start to fly.

I loved this book from start to finish. It was both heartbreaking & beautiful & everything about Eric just made me swoon. I loved that Eric never really labelled himself & just said that he was into people & left it at that. Nina was so precious & I laughed when she wrapped up cookies to take home with her & then just started eating them shortly after. Also, my little heart couldn’t even handle when Miles’ Mom held Nina’s hand as they went in for the concert. I also appreciated watching Miles’ Dad start to warm up to his transition more & more as the story progressed. Plus, like can we just take a minute to appreciate how STUNNING the cover is. I hope that everyone reads this book & I would love to see Miles & Eric’s story continue in the future!

TW: Mentioning characters dead name, Misgendering, Transphobia, Body Dysphoria

Thank you to NetGalley & St. Martin’s Press for the E-ARC!

Such a fantastic, and fantastically queer, read! It didn't take much more than "trans pianist" to get me intrigued. From there, it was a wonderful ride centered around unbridled queer joy, love, and self-acceptance. And it definitely didn't hurt that the book also served as bit of a love letter to the piano and classical music (which I also love). I was also quite pleased that the book ended on a happy note, as that is what the characters completely deserved.

Here is a link to the piece that played such a pivotal role in the story: the 1st movement of Tchaikovsky's Piano Concerto No. 1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hNfpMRSCFPE
It is AMAZING, and I would highly recommend listening to it before and/or while reading this book. A beautiful piece to go with a beautiful story!

Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC!

Always the Almost follows Miles as he experiences many changes in his life. He learns more about himself throughout, though not without a few bumps along the way.

I really love this book! It was a perfect coming of age story. Miles makes many mistakes but grows and learns from them. I loved the characters and their development. I know nothing about piano but I loved how it was used throughout the story. It added quite nicely. The cover is also adorable!

This is a really enjoyable and sweet book! I would definitely recommend you read it.

To be honest, I had no real expectations for this, going in. Several pools of tears later, it ended up being another outstanding, 5-star read for me!

As always with my top reads, I adored all of these characters. I love Miles with all my heart, he really is so special. There were so many wholesome moments in this book, among the emotional and heartbreaking scenes, and it brought me so much joy to see him surround himself bit by bit with love, acceptance and happiness. He was also a very realistic character: he made mistakes, he acted selfishly, he missed things that were incredibly obvious. But the entire time he was so endearing and passionate about the things he loves. Overall, a really great book character.

Of course, Eric is perfection personified, and I adored Rachel. But I think my favourite side character in this is Stefania. I am obsessed with her. I loved reading the scenes she was in and listening to her advice. She's just a great supporting character in every respect.

I also thoroughly enjoyed the piano and music element in this novel. It entwined so perfectly with the story and Miles' character development. I think Underhill is an extremely talented author. The book is so beautifully written, I really felt like I could hear the music. In general, the book just made me feel so much and I love when a story ropes me in like that to the point that I forget that I'm reading.

Overall, I loved this book, and if you want to pick up a novel that will make you sob happily over queer and trans joy and pride, this is absolutely the story for you!

Pub Date: 2/14/23
CW: transphobia, dead-naming, cheating

First off, thank you NetGalley and the publisher for approving this eARC for me. Secondly, thank you to Edward for that beautiful dedication and the little author’s note. Thirdly, what a wonderful pub date—Valentine’s day! Definitely the best Valentine’s Day gift anyone could get.

Okay so hold on tight cause I’ve got a LOT TO SAY.

First off: THE CONSENT!!! YES BABY. Eric asking Miles if he can kiss him before doing so, Miles asking Eric if he can kiss him. WE LOVE IT BABYYYYY.

The RELATIONSHIPS: Eric and Miles, Eric and Nina, Rachel and Paige, Paige and Josie, Miles and Shane (eventually), Miles and his mom, Miles and his dad, Miles and Nina, Miles and Stefania, YES YES YES. WE LOVE IT.

This book was such a work of art. It was a great read that didn’t show Miles thinking his identity was just some kind of fad, and people trying to change who Miles is. He’s a trans boy. He’s queer. He’s who he is.

I love that Eric didn’t really have a label, either. He liked people. It’s that simple. He’s who he is.

I’m so EXCITED for Valentine’s Day and the release of this book. I can’t wait until everyone can read it and enjoy it as much as I have.

I loved the book, I think that the characters and writing was great. I think that what really stands out within the novel is the joy that it oozes, overall it was a great read. A fun, cute, and wholesome new YA read.

Always the Almost by Edward Underhill is a heart-tugging, engaging debut YA rom-dram!

Miles and Eric are so stinkin cute! I can’t get enough of these two.

Realistic yet uplifting, this tale of self-discovery will make your heart skip a beat.
I loved how realistic Underhill made his characters. Showing the struggles young people can go through as they grow to understand their sexuality and trying to find their place in the world.
The story flaws perfectly and the meaningful parts are emphasized just enough to get lost in it.
It’s just such a warm and inviting book. Hands down going on my favorite list.
Ultimately, the book left me feeling happy and hopeful.
There is so much that went into this book. Freaking phenomenal.
I read this in the space of a couple of hours, and hated to see it end.

"I received a complimentary copy of this book. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own."

Wednesday Books,
Thank You for your generosity and approving this eARC!

I cannot stress the importance of this book! Not only is it beautifully written and has a cast of well-developed characters and romantic plot I was glued to, it shows the realities of life as a trans teen navigating their true self in a world that's still learning to accept them. Miles's journey throughout the story involves feeling like an "almost" in many areas of his life, and meeting Eric changes everything. Also, special shout out to Stefania, an absolute icon piano instructor who proved to be so, so much more. Always the Almost shows that it's the people we keep with us during the journey who help us shine the brightest.

I carry a piece of Miles with me every day. He's the kids I read about losing their rights in school and in medical settings that we need to keep fighting for. He's someone's child, student, friend, boyfriend who deserves everything good in the world. He's more than an almost - he's magic, he's everything.

Edward Underhill is a new favorite voice in YA fiction and will forever be an auto-buy author for me.

I received a copy of this from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

I really enjoyed this book. I've been reading so many apocalypse stories and murder mysteries lately that I forgot how fun a lighthearted book could be. Miles is an engaging character and you really root for him to succeed. I love how the author didn't just focus on one issue but instead branched into how different characters have different struggles for different reasons and none are seen as lesser of more important.

I wasn't a big fan of one of the side characters cheating and everone just moving on. I understand that she felt unhappy in her relationship but the fact that everyone moved on and she stayed with the other girl was a little annoying, but it wasnt that main to the story so I can ignore it.

I hope to one day read a sequel about these characters, but if this is all there is it is still incredible good. 👍

“Miles,” he says, “I see you as everything you tell me you are or want to be.”

What an absolutely delightful coming of age queer story. I loved the main character so much. He felt so well rounded as a character. Honestly every character in this book had depth. I feel like the romance between our two main characters had some really sweet moments. I think as a coming of age and coming out as transgender story this book absolutely has earned its place in literature.

Representation: trans masc main character, pansexual main character, lesbian main characters and relationship

Thank you net galley for the arc of this book!