Thanks to Wednesday Books for the free eARC.
Oh, Miles, he is a character that'll stick with me. He has just came out at trans while in high school and, we as the reader, get to witness everything that comes with this transition. The wanting to be understood as the person he is, the struggle to figure out how old friends fit in this 'new' life, and on top of it all, is also wanting to win a classical piano competition. This book is filled with heart, and raw, tender moments. There are also just some awkward high school situations and drama. There's a lot going on here, but the author balanced all of the parts of this story so well. This is a book that so many teens could use, and I hope they get unfettered access to this story when they need it most.

CWs: (Non-malicious) mentions of the main character’s deadname, Brief instances of misgendering, Online transphobia (anonymous nastiness directed at trans character), Mentions/discussion of racism experienced by a character, Discussion of trauma as a result of bullying, Body dysphoria, Mentions of previous (off-screen) sexual harassment experienced by a side character

This book feels like a warm hug. Always the Almost by Edward Underhill is the exploration of Miles Jacobson, a messy trans boy trying to navigate life and find himself after he comes out as transgender.

This is Miles’s coming-of-age story filled with teenage angst, heartbreak, fuck ups, and a whole lot of joy. If you want more trans books about artists, queer youth, and trans joy, I cannot recommend this 2023 debut enough. From trying on his first suit, to being called “sir” and “dude”, you will be smiling at the joy radiating from Miles. But it’s not always that easy. He also has his gloomy days as he shows how brave yet hard socially transitioning can be especially as a teen.

I love how raw Miles’s emotions were and how well written he is as a teenager. While reading, I constantly was on a rollercoaster of emotions as Miles thinks he’s doing the right thing but finally learns he’s made a lot of big mistakes that needs to confront and rectify. But he’s also called out on his behaviors and learns how to give his friends space and time.

Aside from being a chaotic queer, Mile is also a musician. You follow Miles week after week as he practices for the Tri-State Piano Competition trying to beat his arch-nemesis Cameron Hart as his true, trans and queer self. I loved a lot of the knowledge and references to classical music as someone who isn’t in tune with that genre of music. This book had me smiling so hard and secretly wishing Paige, Rachel, and Eric were my friends in high school.

A recently-out trans pianist comes to terms with the way the world sees him and the way he sees himself.

Always the Almost is a really lovely story of trans joy featuring imperfect characters who are trying their best. Miles, the protagonist, is very well-developed and experiences a lot of growth throughout, even if some of the secondary characters aren't as fleshed out. The novel strikes a great balance between the light, fun moments of teenagehood and the heavier coming-of-age milestones.

It could be argued that the ending wraps up a bit too neatly, but it's also nice for a character who has grown and who you can really root for by the end to end up happy!

Always the Almost has my heart and soul!
This book follows the story of a 16yo trans boy that is still figuring out who he is. He has a plan to win back his ex bf. His plan quickly falls apart when he meets a new love interest! Watching the main characters enteract and learn about each other was super sweet.
I'm so excited to read more from this author!

Look up content warnings if needed.

As someone who has been exhausted with YA novels lately (because they always tend to feel SO young that it's almost middle school age instead), this was a delight. Miles was such an easy character to relate to. Am I trans? No. Am I currently a high school age, piano prodigy who has to deal with learning to be outwardly queer in front of others? No. But have I felt so overwhelmed with emotions that I don't actually know how I feel inside nor who I really am? Yes, and I think all of us have.

Eric and Miles are such a sweet relationship to follow, and it felt much more realistic than a lot of the instalove high school novels that I've read recently. First and foremost, they are friends before they are lovers and that is a very sweet story to follow. All the side/supporting characters had some form of growth or development, and I actually enjoyed 90% of them.

I'm not sure if I'll pick this up for my own shelf at home (just because I'm more of a fantasy/adult novel collector), but I think if you enjoy queer teen love stories that you'll adore this one!

ARC kindly provided by the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review

TW: Cheating, Transphobia, Homophobia

I’ve been seeing Always the Almost everywhere recently.

Ever since I saw that pretty, orange cover I knew that this was a book I’d definitely be interested in reading. I was very fortunate to have gotten an ARC from NetGalley recently in addition to all the recent buzz I’ve been hearing.

From the start I genuinely thought this would be my favourite read of 2023 (and yes, I know it’s only the start of the year and pretty early to make a call on favourites, but anyway). It had a fantastic start and I was immediately drawn to the main character, Miles, but overtime there were definitely parts I enjoyed and others that fell flat for me.

We start the book off with Miles Jacobson, newly out as trans and recently heartbroken. His ex boyfriend, the popular jock, Shane, broke up with him following his coming out and Miles has been holding onto hope that Shane would come back to him. On New Years Eve, Miles creates a plan for the new year: get Shane back and beat arch-nemesis Cameron at the big piano competition. On his quest to meet these goals, Miles is met with a handsome and charming boy named Eric, who asks Miles for his pronouns upon meeting and dreams of creating his own graphic novel one day. Miles can’t seem to get him out of his head as he grapples between what his heart truly desires.

Miles really stood out to me from the start. He was a very likeable character and I liked his narration. This book was very focused on Miles’ exploration of his identity and his recent coming out as trans. His relationships between the different people he interacted with, online and in person were very interesting to read about.

Eric was also a likeable character but for some reason it took me a while to like him. I reckon this might’ve been because we got to understand him and some of the other side characters more around the half-way mark.

Paige and Rachel were the side characters who were quite prominent throughout the novel. Even though they were dating and close friends with Miles, I was never too invested with them. When something happened towards the end, that semblance of liking dwindled a lot more but that’s also because I’m not a big fan of said thing in books and I don’t really like reading books with that sort of stuff in it and while yes, I agree that sometimes people make huge mistakes, I felt like everyone forgiven each other way too easily.

Overall, for me, this book had a good start but things ended up falling a little flat for me especially with the above drama. I liked the characters but I feel like maybe more layers or backstory would’ve been beneficial especially toward the start of the novel with the side characters.

ACTUAL RATING: 3.4 STARS

3.5 stars. Overall this was just okay. I think the conversations about queer identities, especially being trans, were really well done and one of the best parts of this book. The music parts were also the most engaging and well written sections. However, I didn't love Miles and really do think he was way too self-centered most of the time. I would have enjoyed seeing him have more growth over a longer period of time instead of the rushed explanation of growth. He really was harmful in a lot of ways.

I really disliked the mc and plot was messy but the representation was decent. Overall it had a lot of potential but the mc's obsession with his ex boyfriend was slightly unnerving to me personally. 2.5 stars.

I just read the sweetest YA book, Always the Almost. It is the story of Miles, a trans boy, who is trying to find his way after coming out, all while trying to get through the stresses of high school and compete in a prestigious piano competition. Oh my heart. Oh, how I loved Miles and his friends, his boyfriend, his parents and his piano teacher. Oh, how this book was so full of love and created so much hope for this GenZ generation that only knows acceptance and inclusivity. So, if you are feeling anger, sadness, despair knowing there is such hate in the world, including in our little book community, read this book and it will give you a little hug.

When the clock strikes midnight on New Year's Eve, sixteen-year-old trans boy Miles Jacobson vows to fulfill two resolutions: 1.) win back his ex-boyfriend, Shane McIntyre who broke up with him soon after he came out, and 2.) finally beat his piano-playing arch-nemesis, Cameron Hart, at the Midwest's biggest classical competition, where he's always come in second place. There may be some problems with his plan, considering Shane is avoiding him at all costs, and Miles' slightly intimidating piano instructor tells him he's playing like he doesn't really know who he is. When a new boy starts at school, Eric Mendez, a queer cartoonist who asks Miles' pronouns, wears rainbow socks, and makes his stomach flutter, his first resolution might have to be adjusted. As sparks fly, Miles starts to question why Eric likes him so much - after all, he's always been only almost good enough. But as things progress and the competition inches closer, Miles wonders why when he's with Eric, the only person he's ever really not been enough for is himself.

*At the beginning the author does note that while this is a book that focuses on joy, there are moments of heaviness, so a full list of content warnings can be found on his website.*

I think having this book strictly through Miles' point of view was the way to go. He is such an interesting an dynamic character, even if he himself can't understand why someone would like him as more than a friend. From the start, Miles is very newly out as transgender, and fresh off a breakup from his boyfriend, Shane. So when January rolls around, and resolutions are made, he vows to win back Shane by showing him he's still ultimately the same person, just living as a boy now, and enter in the same classical piano competition he always has but win against his rival, Cameron. Things don't exactly go to plan when new kid Eric Mendez arrives in town and Miles starts to wonder exactly why he feels some type of way around him, and why he never felt this way with Shane. I really loved how Miles' piano instructor, Stefania, seemed to have a rough exterior, but knew from the moment Miles started playing that he was lost and needed to really figure out what he wanted from the music, and let him discover that on his own. She is tough and relentless, but understands how competitions can view people who don't adhere to the norm, and wants to makes sure Miles is strong and ready to take on anything. I appreciated how when Miles encounters hate toward him on the forum, other competitors who, in some way, have received this type of unwarranted vitriol report it and make sure that Miles does not need to read anything like that about himself, or at least have to handle it alone. Paige and Rachel also offer an extremely supportive friend group for Miles, and while it is mostly positive there are also moments when they try to speak over Miles, believing they know what is best for him even when he is voicing his needs directly. There can be such a thing as "too supportive" when you start to talk over the person whose voice should be heard the most. I loved Eric as a character as well - while he is firm in his queerness, there are also aspects of his identity that he's still questioning, and is ok with being unsure about. He uses his art as an expression of his thoughts and feelings, and at the beginning when him and Miles meet in the school auditorium they both sort of mirror each other in their feelings of uncertainty, which presents as Eric being unable to continue with his comic and Miles playing the same chords of his piece. There was also some really great discussion of boundaries during intimacy - nothing further than kissing occurs, on-page or off, but it is clear that Miles can still feel uncomfortable with his body, especially as he wear a binder. There were some conversations that, to Miles, were very awkward to have, but both boys worked to openly communicate what they were comfortable with, which does wonders to help prevent harmful, even if unintentional, actions when things do progress further. And one last thing I wanted to touch on specifically was Miles' father. It's clear that there was some tension after Miles came out as trans to his parents. While not being unsupportive, his father is incredibly distant and interacts differently than before. I really appreciated how this was addressed as not being Miles fault, and that he had personal issues to work out off page so that he could best support his son. The scene towards the end where an olive branch was extended really made me smile, as it is clear that he is trying, and may have simply just needed more time to adjust to a change in his life.

When I read YA now, I have to keep in mind that I am not the intended audience of these books - as someone who has been out of college for almost 5 years now, there are certain aspects that I can still relate to in these books, but they're written specifically for teens in mind as they should be. So I did roll my eyes a bit when there's drama introduced in the latter half of this book, as there is with most YA. But after having finished the book, and sitting with it for a while, I actually thought the introduction of certain dramatic aspects was incredibly relatable for high schoolers, especially queer teens. Sometimes when figuring out your identity, you're prone to do some experimenting even when you know you shouldn't. And while sometimes it gives you the answers you're looking for, those actions can affect other people in a negative way (I'm trying not to delve into spoilers, so I'm keeping this vague). What is important is to sit with those consequences, figure out what really is worth fighting for, and going to fight for it. You also have to acknowledge that just because you're sorry, doesn't mean the other person has to accept your apology. It can take a long time to gain back their trust, if they even want to extend that hand at all. And you need to be ok with that. So yeah, looking back, I thought this aspect of being a teenager, making mistakes, and learning to come back from those mistakes was really well done.

The title itself, Always the Almost, really highlights how sometimes, we don't think of ourselves as good enough to achieve our goals, always falling short, always only achieving the "almost." We see Miles struggle with the mindset and break down his mental barriers so he can see himself as he truly is - always enough. I thought this book was a really great YA debut, and I can't wait to see what Edward Underhill has in store for us next. *Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher, Wednesday Books, for the early copy, all thoughts and opinions are my own.*

I am DISGUSTED, I am REVOLTED, I dedicate my ENTIRE LIFE to our lord and savior Jesus Christ, and THIS is the thanks I get?

I was ready to slog through the rest of this book, but at 67% I hit my breaking point and I just could not stand this book anymore. There's nothing wrong with it on a technical level, but it makes up for it in the appalling content. This book is terrible, and although the story itself is actually pretty good, what singlehandedly plummets it into a one-star rating is Miles. Miles is a toxic, worthless limp fish of a person who is the embodiment of a Gary Stu but without even the good qualities that most Mary Sues/Gary Stus have. He is apathetic, an utterly terrible friend and literally (spoilers incoming) both emotionally and PHYSICALLY cheats on his boyfriend, but we're supposed to hate the boyfriend for being judgy. No, I'm not projecting that one. Here's the quote that made me quit: “Fuck Eric- he’s being judgy and unfair and jumping to conclusions- and also I really love him.” This was said directly after Miles kisses his ex-boyfriend in front of his current boyfriend who is unfortunate (honestly, more like fortunate if it means he realizes how he deserves better than an emotionally unavailable narcissist) enough to walk in and see it. Not only are we supposed to root for this vile heartbreaking psychopath, but it took him literally cheating on someone who was absolutely everything he claimed to want to realize that he wants to stay faithful. News flash, Miles, you don't get to make that decision.
Everyone in this book falls over themselves to a ridiculous degree to do everything for Miles, and he gives them one word responses and only talks to them when he needs something. He completely ignores his friends (and boyfriend) when they're struggling, but expects everyone else to love and respect him. I'm sorry, I really try not to be mean, but this book is awful. I regret the time I wasted on it. I need some Heartstopper as soon as humanly possible, so I can remember what healthy queer representation looks like. I do apologize just a little if this book ends with everyone hating Miles and it changing him for the better, but I hope you can forgive me for giving up on that possibility.

This book. I can't get over this amazing, wonderful book. I cried multiple times over the course of the story. I found absolutely no flaws whatsoever. I loved Miles and his journey of joy and acceptance and forgiveness. Yes, it had teen angst BUT a) it's YA and b) it really couldn't have been the perfect book it was without the angst. I have no notes and I hope every person in the world looking for a book with joy and laughter that will also make you cry and swoon picks this book up. Many thanks to Wednesday Books for an early copy of this one. Always the Almost is out now.

This was a wonderfully joyful hug of a book—Underhill doesn't shy away from some of the challenges Miles faces as a trans boy, but focuses on the joys of finding community, love, and passion in music, along with all the fun coming-of-age rituals along the way. Strong, elegant voice, characters I'm obsessed with, and excellent pacing throughout. Cannot wait for his sophomore book!

Sixteen year old trans Miles has two New Year's resolutions he wants to complete. First, when back his ex boyfriend Shane and second, beat his arch-nemesis at the classical piano competition. But none of these tasks will be easy for him, especially Shane, as he broke up with Miles for coming out as transsexual. And there’s a new boy in town, Eric, who’s a proud queer cartoonist.

This story is strong and has a powerful message behind it. The main character himself is strong and reading Miles journey just make him and the story come to life. I also love the family dynamics displayed.

This was very heartfelt and warming love story, of self discovery, and those around you who listen to your voice.

Miles and Eric had the sweetest, and most genuine interactions that I smiled so hard every time I read them. I despise each and every person who treated them unfairly as they are my gems.

Throughout this story we see Miles in a period of his life where he’s still trying to understand “who is Miles?” He’s navigating heart break, and a lot of change with social interactions/perceptions from others. Eric was very kind even as he was dealing with his own feelings from his prior relationship.

Stefania has to be one of my favorite characters. Her lessons about the musicians while teaching Miles was heart warming. She was misunderstood but did not let others stop that from using her talents to guide others. I was elated that Miles had her as a mentor.

Rachel and Paige were great friends. I enjoyed their side story

Everyone should read this!

Thanks to Netgalley for the ARC. All opinions are my own

I thought that Miles's story was both beautiful and honest. You can expect to experience a wide array of emotions and plenty of feels as this heartstring tugging and deeply moving tale unfolds. Poignancy, warmth and heart pack a powerful punch that I was more than happy to take.

Miles is preparing for a classical piano competition, so he plays the piano in lots of scenes. I really enjoyed the descriptions of his relationship with music and his process of practicing, learning, and growing as a musician. I loved Stefanie, his piano teacher, too.

Though he doesn’t have a lot of confidence in his identity, Miles has a solid friend group who do. Rachel, Paige, and Eric support him as friends and allies. Sometimes they can be a little much– especially Rachel– but it’s clear that their behavior always comes from a place of love.

ALWAYS THE ALMOST doesn’t shy away from the painful parts of personal growth. Miles makes some thoughtless and selfish choices and then has to bear consequences of those mistakes as well as learning how to rebuild relationships in the aftermath. I thought overall those conflicts were handled really well and resolved in ways that were both believable and satisfying.

On the whole, Miles’s journey as a young trans boy in love and his development as a musician were both super strong parts of ALWAYS THE ALMOST. I think readers who enjoyed CAN’T TAKE THAT AWAY by Steven Salvatore will want to check this one out.

Note: I received a free copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. All opinions my own.

always the almost is a story about miles, newly out trans boy as he navigates the tri-state piano competition including the smarmy rival he's always been second best to, along with his love life and typical teenage life, all amplified due to his queerness. it's a story about joy, loss, and love and how you alone rewrite your story.

this was definitely a cute ya contemporary and it was so queer and full of love and joy and it was wonderful to read about <3 it didn't stick out to me nor did it outwardly blow my mind but it was incredibly nice to read and is an incredible addition to the books for young queer people today! i loved reading about miles' journey and especially loved the piano parts bc ive always wanted to play the piano and the second half is truly where this book shines as the side characters get their development and everyone has their self-discovery moment in the end! i love happy endings and queer stories and this book delivered in both aspects!

thanks to netgalley and st. martin's press for the arc! (however late the review may be)

“I am the crashing chords of joy. I am the reaching, searching melody. I am the cascading arpeggios and the waves of scales and the pounding octaves. I am queer. I am trans. I am full of joy.”

Oh, I adored this book. ALWAYS THE ALMOST is a joyful, triumphant coming-of-age/romance about a young gay trans pianist finding himself in spite of everything and everyone else. There is so much to love here: the small town midwest setting that, while not always affirming, is generally a safe place for Miles; a sweet, heartwarming romance with a boy who has his own gender feelings; a pair of snarky, passionate, and deeply loyal sapphic best friends; the mess and drama of high school friendships and relationships; the euphoria of finding your first suit; the gift of falling in love with music and in the process, finding more of yourself. Underhill achieved what he set out to do in writing a story about a gay trans boy that is above all else, bursting with joy. Thanks to Wednesday Books for the eARC!

Content warnings (more detail on author’s website): deadnaming, misgendering, online transphobia, and body dysmorphia; mentions/discussion of racism, trauma as a result of bullying, and previous sexual harassment

🎹 Always the Almost 🎹

“I see you as everything you tell me you are or want to be.”

This was a precious coming of ago story featuring Miles, a high school pianist, who is discovering his identity after coming out as a trans male. With the support of his two best friends, Paige and Rachel, and the cute new guy in town, Eric, Miles sets out to figure out who he wants to be - as a pianist and in life.

Check this one out if you’re looking for:
🎹 Trans MC coming of age story
🎹 YA Queer love
🎹 Cast of support characters with loving friends and family

Thank you to Wednesday books and Netgalley for this ARC! Always the Almost is on shelves now.