This was a really cute and uplifting story! It was probably one of the better YA's I've read recently. I adored the message, and following Miles on his journey of self acceptance and finding joy. I thought it had great ups and downs. I think this will be great for trans teens to have and I wish I had something like this growing up. I went back and forth on how to rate this because while I didn't feel feral about the story, I did enjoy it a lot and giggled while reading it, so for that, it gets a 3.5 rounded up to 4.
Thank you so much to Netgalley and the publisher for providing me with and ARC to read!

A touching, heartfelt coming-of-age story about a young trans pianist, finding his way and himself. A joy-filled story, despite the weighty issues that arise.

The scenes revolving around music and expression were by far my favorite pieces of the book, beautifully and eloquently written (and Stefania is a fabulous mentor character). Miles's inner life is deftly and delicately rendered, but I wish there was more depth to the other characters - Eric, in particulary, feels a bit too manic pixie dream boy for most of the book, and whatever the deal is with Miles's dad felt completely under-explored. A lot of elements felt underdone, in comparison to the Miles's-inner-life core of it, leaving the book as a whole kind of uneven. Still, I think this is a poignant story, and definitely a worthwhile addition to the YA canon.

Thank you to Wednesday Books for the advance review copy!

I received an arc of Always the Almost from netgalley!

I feel conflicted about this book. I loved Miles and how the growth and discoveries about himself his made throughout the book. I really appreciated reading a book where a character has been doing something since childhood and still like it (piano in this case). It always makes me sad when the growth of a character necessitates the realisation that they don't actually like the think that makes up the majority of their life. So I am glad it didn't happen here. I love Rachel and her passion and I adore Stefania and her butterflies. But there were a few things that stopped me from enjoying this book more than I did.

The first is that Eric was just Too Perfect. People need flaws! It's just kind of part of existing. And he just seemed too much of a projection of Ideal Boyfriend and it made him a little flat for me. I loved all of his traits, and his art and his rainbow socks and his kindness. I just wish he had a bit more oomph or something. I don't know.

But the big thing that stopped me from enjoying this book the way that I wanted to is the cheating. Cheating is not ok, never has been, never will be. Paige should never have cheated on Rachel. And Miles should have immediately apologised to Eric after Shane kissed him, instead of spending so long moaning on and on about how it wasn't his fault and it was just about discovering they didn't actually want to be together anymore. I felt actual rage when Miles said that Eric was acting rude and judgy or whatever. Because no, he wasn't, he just saw his boyfriend (Miles) kiss Shane (Miles' ex). Bad behaviour, Miles. And because growing up means making mistakes and learning from them, I probably could have handled it is Eric and Miles fixed their friendship but didn't end up back in a relationship again. But they did. And sorry but the excusing of multiple characters cheating just isn't it, sorry!

All in all though, this is a cute book. Even with its flaws, it is sweet, and gentle, and forgiving of the ways we fuck up when we are growing up. Cute enough, despite my issues with it.

Miles is finally living life being true to himself. Yet coming out as trans to family, friends, and the community is one thing, living it and facing the consequences is quite another. At least he has a major piano competition coming up to distract him from the awkwardness at home and the fact that he got dumped by his boyfriend. There's also sweet, new-in-town Eric who seems to accept Miles in every possible way. Will Miles be able to look forward to new experiences or let the past keep him down?

I loved how Underhill really touches on the difficulties of being trans without getting all dark and violent about it. It's a very soft and approachable way to broach and give humanity to the topic without resorting to the usual (at least in my experience) doom and gloom. I'm a firm believer that reading is a gateway to empathy and understanding those whose life experiences are different than yours. I am completely unfamiliar with the experiences a trans individual has to go through in life, but I feel like Underhill has given a masterclass in understanding through a story that's sweet, emotional, and incredibly relatable.

Happy thanks to Netgalley and Wednesday Books for the enlightening read!

This story and the characters are messy, but it's so beautiful!

I loved seeing these queerdos find themselves and figure out the world they're living in!!

This is one I think so many people will love, and one I wish I had when I was in high school!

Thank you to Wednesday Books for an eARC in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.

Crying over this forever.

Always the Almost is a YA romance that follows sixteen-year-old trans boy Miles Jacobson. Miles has just recently come out and transitioned which has brought a lot of changes to his life. He has two new years resolutions: win back his ex and beat his nemesis at the Midwest’s biggest classical piano competition. Things won’t be easy though, especially since Shane is ignoring him, and his piano teacher keeps telling him he’s playing like he doesn’t know who he is. Then Miles meets Eric Mendez, the new boy in town who’s a queer cartoonist. The two hit it off immediately.

This book is a love letter to queer teens. And musicians, especially queer musicians. The musical aspect of this book made me ache for my days in band, and piano class. Music has always been something to connect me with others, and I loved seeing Miles learn how to tell his story with the piano. It was incredibly beautiful.

This book is incredibly romantic, and I think it’s perfect it’s releasing on Valentine’s Day. The author gives us a promise in the beginning and Underhill definitely delivers with this book. The ending made me feel all the emotions. 100% a soft bitch by the end. Cannot recommend this one enough, add it to your TBR or cart today!

**Many thanks to NetGalley, St. Martin's Press/Wednesday Books, and Edward Underhill for an ARC of this book!**

"Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and that which cannot remain silent."-Victor Hugo

An emotional and heartwarming story of self-discovery and what it means to TRULY show the world who you are, with no holds barred!

Miles hasn't had an easy year, but now that January has rolled around, he's made a couple of resolutions. After coming out as trans and queer, he lost his former love Shane, after a year-long romance...and he is determined to win him back. Miles also has a VERY important state-wide piano competition coming up and he HAS to defeat his conceited arch enemy. Miles starts lessons with a new teacher who is determined to get him to 'be himself' through his music...but how can Miles do that when he is still piecing together what that means in his life?

Enter new boy Eric, who captures Miles' eye and attention with his quiet confidence and instant acceptance. As both a queer boy and an artist (cartoons are his medium of choice), Eric can relate to Miles on so many levels, and the two become fast friends. Their relationship takes a shove into romantic territory, however, when a 'fake date' to a party leads to a REAL kiss...and Miles feels like he's never felt before. But why does his stomach still do flip flops every time Shane walks by? Can Miles find himself FULLY in time to win the competition, play his truth in song, AND find out what (or who) his heart TRULY desires?

If I could sum up this book in one word, it would have to be JOYFUL! Though Underhill doesn't hold back describing some of the lows and real struggles Miles experiences becoming his true self (forging new romantic relationships, redefining his place with his parents and his competition mates and the like) this book more than anything else serves as a 'love song' to trans and queer kids everywhere AND creatives alike. There is perhaps no better universal connector than music, because it is the only language that requires no words, and I thought this was a PERFECT way to emphasize the importance of self-expression in defining and sharing our identities with the world around us.

Miles goes on two interconnected journeys of self-discovery and self-love, and even though this is YA, I didn't feel that the narrative veered into stereotypical or predictable territory too often. I did feel some frustration during the third act tension, but the characters remained lovable enough even during the conflicts where I was able to stay invested and excited to see how the love story would turn out (and I'm not going to mention any names!) The ending is sweet and satisfying without being sappy...and just a LITTLE bit surprising to cap it off!

As a queer trans man himself, Edward Underhill's debut rings with authenticity, courage, vulnerability, hope, and honesty. There is nothing that we crave more as humans than to fully see, and more importantly, to BE seen for nothing more or less than everything we are...and by story's end Miles does just that.

4 stars

Aways the Almost is the book of trans joy I wish I had as a teenager.

Miles is messy, makes mistakes and is just trying his best.

He starts the new year with two goals in mind; beat his rival and win back his ex-boyfriend. A cute new boy in his class and a fake date to a Valentine’s day party just might derail his second goal.

The story has its ups and downs. Plenty of bad decisions are made. There are hurt feelings and heart break. I appreciated that no matter how difficult things got Miles would take the time to reflect on the situation and his own actions. He always took accountability and learned from his mistakes.

A cute high school romance with a side of classical music. I loved Always the Almost so much I bought a physical copy the day it came out.

Thank you Netgalley and St. Martin’s Press Wednesday Books for the opportunity to read and review Always the Almost.

Miles Jacobson has just come out as trans. After that happened, his straight boyfriend has broken up with him but Miles is convinced he can get him back and also Miles absolutely wants to beat his archenemy Cameron in this piano competition. But he also has to adapt and live his full trans boy life. Also, this new boy Eric is kind of cute, no?

I thought I would love this. So many people I know did. But this was a miss for me. I did like some parts. The piano competition and the new teacher storyline. The unapologetic trans part. And Eric was great true. I love him with all my heart. My problem was that Miles was often insufferable. Constantly thinking about his ex while he's dating someone new; calling his best friend hysterical when she was very justified in every reaction she had and things she said. (also calling someone hysterical is always sexist and really just no) And the selfishness he often showed. Also, I felt like the multiple cheating storylines were really glossed over and forgiven very very very easily. I cannot stand or forgive any kind of cheating and that really put me off. Also, you can't change someone's sexuality by sheer will. That first premise was a bit fucked and I did put it off as Miles being a stupid child but, after a while, it was one more thing to add to all the things that bothered me.
Basically, this had a lot of potential and some part were great but, in the end, too much stuff did not work for me.

I adored this book. Miles, the main character, is infinitely relatable as he tries to figure out life, high school, and how to beat his piano nemesis, and the supporting characters are excellent (his delightful, gentle boyfriend Eric, his fierce friends, and especially his even fiercer piano teacher). Miles is trans, gay, and a competitive pianist; although he faces some hard things, this book is overall full of music and full of joy. I recommend it to anyone who is trying to figure their life out (in high school or otherwise).

Thanks to Netgalley, the author, and the publisher for an earc in exchange for an honest review.

It is not a light read: there’s constant deadnaming, misgendering and transphobia. But there’s also trans joy, with the main character, Miles, trying to understand who he is and finding a boyfriend who sees him for who he is. Something else I really liked was the fact that Eric was also a little confused about his gender, even if we ended up not really seeing that being explored.

Most of the joy part, however, was in the first half of the book and all the drama that happened after kind of cancelled (in my opinion) all the good things we saw. Yes Miles and Eric get back together at the end but only in the last two chapters, which made it hard for me to go back to the same feeling of joy I felt at the beginning of the book.
In general, I just wished it had been less drama and a little bit more joy (especially considering how some of that drama had been totally unnecessary)

It was going to be a five star read, but I have to take a whole star away for all the cheating.
I was willing to try to understand why Miles kissed Shane back and forget about it, but then Paige also went and cheated on Rachel which was so incredibly stupid and unnecessary, especially after she already saw the consequences of Miles’ kiss. Why was that plot point even necessary??
I think, in the end, what really bothered me wasn't even the Miles-Shane-Eric drama. Yes it was complicated, yes it was still cheating, and it all could have been avoided if Miles just communicated with Eric, but Miles still hadn't meant for that to happen, he didn't actually want to cheat on Eric. Paige, however... she knew damn well what she was doing. And I think that all of this bothers me even more because in the preorder gifts for the book there are two artworks (one for each couple), but Paige and Rachel are not a couple at all and they disastrously break up because of the cheating, so seeing the pretty art of them shown around as if to trick you into thinking there is going to be a cute sapphic relationship when in reality they're just toxic... well it felt a little icky to me (and again, totally unnecessary).

A pretty good YA novel about friendship, love, transition, and talent. I think it's accurate to the confusion of adolescent romantic desires. It's definitely possible, possibly even common, for the desire to prove one's own desirability, or to show an ex what they're missing, to get in the way of new relationships and the potential for actual happiness—that doesn't mean it didn't drive me <em>absolutely crazy</em> how Eric was treated in this book, though!

This was a delightful quick read. A mix of showing the struggles of trans life but also trans joy. Thanks for the ARC!

I am having trouble decided my opinions on this. On the one hand, I think this has great rep that is really well written and all-encompassing. On the other hand, I found the narrative to be so excruciatingly annoying. I think this book is really brought down by just how insistent miles is in his obsession with Shane. It is never-ending. Even when Miles is with the love interest, who is lovely and much better for him than Shane, he is still obsessed with the idea of getting Shane to realize he still loves Miles. It was so irritating. I think if it had stopped like 30 or 40% of the way through, hell even if it lasted to the halfway mark, it would have been something that annoyed me that I could overlook. But this shit lasts until like 70%. It was so irritating. It also bothered me that Miles was refusing to listen to Shane when Shane expressed his sexuality. I get that it's because Miles has a lot of complicated feelings and just really wishes that Shane would still love him, but it left a bad taste.
I think this was a really important book for a lot of people, and I think Underhill is a very good writer, but this particular book was just wholly not for me.

wow. i just know this story will resonate with other trans and nonbinary readers in the same ways it has for me. with its messy characters, whom you still love despite it. with miles’ passion for piano, which emanates off the pages. with beautiful, but raw and realistic, teen trans-masc representation. all of it comes together to bring this beautiful little thing.

while i personally did not enjoy the two (2) piano lessons that i took as a child (no, we don’t count the middle school music class i took one semester), miles’ pure passion for his playing urged to find our hidden-away keyboard and just play. play what? who knows. and that’s what i really think shines through. while i can’t directly appreciate miles’ love for playing and classical music, i deeply understand his love and drive to be the best at something you love. putting your absolute whole-being into your discipline. (that was me with swimming for many years). i just love to read about someone passionate about something, niche or not. and this delivered in that aspect.

while a big focus was his piano playing, of course the rest of it was mainly about relationships, queerness, and what that means in high-school. and while, yes, like i mentioned, these characters are messy . it just made them feel like real teens i know and most probably used to be myself. it makes them feel real. they’re not perfect. they’re going to fuck it up sometimes. but they love and care about the people close to them and they just have to learn how to find ways to communicate their desires or concerns or whatnot. and these characters, they do… well, eventually.

do i personally wish there wasn’t any justification of cheating? absolutely. but it’s been done and it’s unfortunately how the events went down. but like i said, i’m glad these characters learn to move past it in their own ways, communicating their underlying causes. so, i’ll that take. and on an overall sense, it’s more acknowledgement than i see in most cis-hetero stories so… a win is a win.

anyways, that’s pretty much all i have to say about this lovely little story for now. oh, except, i love stefania and i want her to adopt me (i am rachel, she is me). okay, that’s all!

An extraordinarily charming book! I found the pacing really excellent, and I really enjoyed the writing style. The characters felt like the older teens that they are, without the prose feeling juvenile. I really flew through it.

I really felt for Miles as he tried to balance his identity with the usual teenage challenges of exes, school, and the piano competition. I saw in the author's note that the author really wanted this to be a book of queer and trans joy (which it is!) and therefore didn't go as heavily into the transphobia, which as a trans reader I really appreciate. While Miles had to face transphobia in the competition world, and struggles from his family members, it didn't fee at all like a drag-out grief fest. There is definitely a place in YA for the more difficult trans reads, but it was nice to just be.

If I have a criticism, it's that the side characters weren't as well-rounded as I would have liked, especially the love interest, Eric. The massive drama fest that happened at roughly 70% in was really jarring too, and I felt it could've been handled in a different way. Still, a joyful triumph of a book!

Adorable. A coming-of-age, finding yourself, joyful YA romance starring a trans boy, Miles, as he figures out who he is, how he can beat his piano recital nemesis, and how to discern what makes a good relationship (romantically and platonically). Miles is still hung up on his ex, who broke up with him when he came out as Miles. And at first I wanted to shake Miles so that he could see his own value, but thankfully, then a new kid, Eric, shows up and Miles realizes that there is a potential love interest in front of him who sees him for who he is. Oh and Miles has a new piano teacher who is forcing him to actually think about who he trulyis. But, youths are gonna youth, and things go sideways, but as the author states at the beginning of the book, this is a story about trans joy, and there's a happy ending.

I am a big fan of books that center so much joy, even when the realities of life come up. This one is just so sweet, and I really liked the ending. No spoilers, but it doesn't go completely to plan, and that felt even more true to life. There is so much to like about this story, from the plot to the characters to the piano-ing. It really is sweet, and I think it will brighten a lot of teen readers' lives. Yet another book I would have liked to be around when I was a teen myself!

Thanks to Netgalley and Wednesday Books for the e-ARC!

Always the Almost gave me the warm fuzzies. Eric had my whole heart. He was so wholesome and wonderful and exactly who Miles needed. I wish I knew people as persistent as Eric because he knew what he wanted and went after it. He and Miles also had mature conversations that were awkward, but necessary, so I loved how the author showed that teens are capable of handling more than we give them credit for sometimes . The author also did a great job at making me feel the emotions of the characters because I was so tense and anxious during Miles' first competition scene. I really love when characters are passionate about something, so reading about Miles' relationship with piano really made the book pop for me. And between the realistic characters and the messiness of Miles navigating himself and his friendships, this book was a delight to read.

Be still my heart, I dang loved this book. What an incredible story! I am perhaps a teensy bit biased as Miles, the wonderful main character, is from Wisconsin and so am I. (Miles is also something of a musical prodigy and I was in the high school marching band, which I’ve decided is basically the same thing.) Miles has also recently come out as trans and is dealing with a LOT – an ex-boyfriend who dumped him because he came out, fierce competition (and cybering bullying) from the regional piano competition where he always places second but that could mean a college scholarship if he wins, and parents who are having an okay-but-not-great reaction to his transition. Not to mention the ying and yang of relief for living as his authentic self and grief at the process and what he left behind. Enter Eric, the new guy at school who, y’all, is easy like Sunday morning. He and Miles begin fake dating (high five rom com trope!) but soon discover they have feelings for each other. Teenage angst and true love ensue.

What a treasure this book is. I think about what reading this book as a teen myself would have meant for me and I beam thinking about all the queer and trans kids out there who will see themselves so joyfully represented in print. So often the stories of LGBT+ characters are ones of trauma and pain, and while Miles does face struggles, there is so much joy and happiness in this book. In addition to important discussions of such themes as accepting folks as they are, the critical importance of being your authentic self, found family and the real meaning of friendship, and taking responsibility for your mistakes, there are also plenty of sweet and dopey moments (plus teen drama, y’all!), so YA romance book fans, you’ll also love this book.

Did Not Finish.

I admit I might not have been in the best mindset for Always the Almost.

Something early on really bothered me, and it was enough that I chose to quit and not finish. Miles has recently come out as trans (AFAB) and his cis-hetero boyfriend Shane recently broke up with him. That’s totally understandable; Shane consented to be in a heterosexual relationship. Miles thinks “I’m the same person I’ve always been on the inside,” and is determined to win Shane back.

It just….gave me a bad feeling. There’s nothing wrong with Shane not wanting to be in a relationship with Miles. He’s a straight man and Miles trying to change his mind felt very manipulative. Like Shane’s feelings don’t matter.

I was on the fence continuing Always the Almost when I saw content warnings of cheating, and I knew I was done. Not for me.