Plain and simple, this book is about a Death Doula. Clover is a Death Doula who helps people in the last moments of their life.

I have no idea what compelled me to choose a book on this subject. It's not a depressing story. In fact, it is actually full of hope. I love the fact that Death Doulas exist to help dying people achieve a level of peace

Clover is a very unusual character. She is an introvert. She is approaching middle age but has never had an intimate relationship. Just because it has never happened. It is hard to figure her out.

I find it difficult to relate to Clover. Without going into a lot of detail, Clover lost both parents in an accident when she was six. Her parents were never present for her. But, she lived with her grandfather, who was a good person in her life. Her main interest in life is death. She watched her kindergarten teacher die and was the only child in the class that did not panic. But it started her fascination.

This book is not fast paced. It is definitely character driven. While I did find some of Clover's musings insightful and I loved that she tried to learn something from each client's death, I just could not identify with her. I didn’t dislike her. I just didn't feel any affinity for her. And because of this, I can't drum up any excitement for the book.

I've always maintained that not every book is for everybody. This was not the book for me.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the Advance Readers Copy.

4.5/5⭐️

This story is centered on Clover, a 36-year-old woman in NYC who works as a death doula. It chronicles her life (beginning at age 6) and shows the evolution of how circumstances and those around her influenced her choice of this unusual career.

I really enjoyed this book. It is so well-written I found myself highlighting many beautiful/poignant passages throughout. And Clover is portrayed as how I’d picture the perfect companion at one’s death, highly empathetic, pragmatic, and always with her clients’ best interests and needs/desires at heart. But her path in life was not a smooth one. She faced her own obstacles and heartaches and is lonely as she finds it hard to allow anyone close. We watch as she slowly begins to realize that she must live life before she regrets its loss. And those characters along the way who help her do this are warmly wonderful in their own ways as they are just who she needs in her life to help pull her out of herself.

It's a unique book…the subject of death, how we feel about it and how we face it. This story brings home the need/desire in all of us to have an ending filled with dignity, self-possession, and love.

There will probably be tears (and definitely smiles and laughter) but these are the hallmark of most worthy books. And of course, there’s a feel-good, lovely ending. And as this one is a debut, I’m excited for more from this talented author.

Definitely recommended.

My sincere thanks to the author, NetGalley and St. Martin’s Press for providing the free early arc of The Collected Regrets of Clover for review. The opinions are strictly my own.

"What's the point of giving someone a beautiful death if you can't give yourself a beautiful life?"

I am absolutely blown away by this debut. You might read the synapsis and expect a story about a death doula to be morbid, depressing or exploitive but I am here to tell you THE COLLECTED REGRETS OF CLOVER is far from that. This book transforms the stigmas surrounding dying into something beautiful to celebrate. It's an uplifting story about life, death and the journeys in between.

Clover, a thirtysomething death doula, is one of the most likable and memorable characters I've met in a long time. She is a midwife of sorts to those exiting the world (vs entering it) and that alone had me curious as to how and why she chose this career. Because Clover dedicates so much of her time to the dying, she hasn't really lived a life of her own. Instead, she turns inward and keeps everyone at arm's length. When a feisty old woman's final wish sends Clover on a trip across the country, she is finally forced to examine her own life.

This book conveys such a beautiful message without feeling cliched or forced. I appreciate the author’s ability to shed light on sensitive topics such as aging, loneliness and grief. The exploration of death and how different cultures & families deal with it was handled in such an expert way that I never once felt like it crossed a line. This also serves as a gentle reminder that grief is different for everyone and there is no time stamp for how long it lasts.

Clover's story inspired me. To look at my own life. To cross something off my bucket list. To take that trip. To say that thing I've been holding inside. To live with no regrets. I’m positive you haven’t read a book like this one, so do yourself a favor and pick it up on May 9th.

Overall the book was okay, I just couldn’t find myself connecting to clover. It’s default a slow Burn and there were many times I wanted to DNF, but I stuck through it. Not my favorite book, but overall it was good

The Collected Regrets of Clover
Mikki Brammer
5⭐️

“Learn from my mistakes, my darling.” Each word was quieter, more staccato than the last. “Don’t let the best parts of life pass you by because you’re too scared of the unknown.” One last wink. “Be cautiously reckless.”

💐 ʙʀɪᴇғ sʏɴᴏᴘsɪs
Clover a 36 year-old death doula spends so much time with the dying that she has no life of her own, until the final wishes of a feisty old woman send Clover on a trip across the country to uncover a forgotten love story––and perhaps, her own happy ending.

💐 ᴍʏ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛs:
I absolutely adored this debut! It’s a unique and beautifully written story not just about death, but about living and celebrating life to the fullest. Grief is complicated and complex, and I loved they way in which it’s addressed in this story. As an individual process and not something that is quantifiable and to be fixed. It’s time to start normalizing that it truly never goes away, it just takes on a different shape in our lives.

Brammer created a wonderful cast of well developed characters. I truly adored Clover and Claudia and will continue to think about them long after reading.

The Collected Regrets of Clover publishes May 9th, and I would absolutely recommend this heartwarming read.

💐Thank you to NetGalley and St. Martin’s Press for the advanced copy in exchange for my honest review.

I have no idea why I requested The Collected Regrets of Clover since the description describes a book full of melancholy. My mother’s death is ten months past, yet the grief is still there. I wasn’t sure I could handle a book that dealt with death in such a frank way. Yet I persevered, and I’m glad I read the book.

The story follows Clover, a death doula. What is one, exactly? They are sort of like a hospice worker, but less medical and more emotional. They try to ease one’s passing by talking to them and listening to anything they may not want to say to family or friends. Sometimes they have requests that Clover tries to fulfill, and sometimes they have regrets which they lay out, sometimes it’s simple funeral planning, or just holding their hand so they don’t lie alone. Clover keeps track of them in journals and tries to act on them from time to time, whether it’s something simple like “I never dyed my hair blue like I wanted to” to “I wish I went to the park more.”

In flashbacks, we learn that Clover’s parents died when she was six, and she ended up living with her grandfather. This turns out to be a good thing as it sounds like her parents didn’t let parenthood from holding them back from leaving Clover with the neighbors and traveling for months on end for work. Clover’s grandfather is a professor at Columbia University and has a set life: Thursday night faculty meetings, Sunday mornings at the cafe’, then a visit to the bookstore, where only one book can be purchased per week.

Clover’s grandfather died while she was studying abroad, and thirteen years have passed. There’s an African-American man, Leo, that lives in her building that she’s friendly with, but other than that, she’s shut off from the world. She does her job, and lives the life of a hermit, basically. The only time she goes out is to find a death cafe’, which is a meeting in a cafe’ where people talk openly about death. Apparently they’re a thing in bigger cities; can’t say our city has ever had one, but now with the book coming out, maybe the local independent bookstore would have one.

At one cafe’ Clover meets an over-eager man named Sebastian, who she can not wait to get away from. The problem is he shows up at the next death cafe’ she attends in another part of New York City. After talking for a bit, she reveals her real reason for coming to the cafe’s, and he announces that he needs to hire her for his grandmother, who has terminal cancer. Grandma Claudia was a trail-blazer in her day, one of the only female photographers around in the early 1950s.But she hung it all up when she married Sebastian’s grandfather.

Meanwhile, a young woman has moved into the building, Sylvie, who coaxes Clover out of her shell by taking her out for coffee and yoga. Clover starts to realize that she’s led a secluded life because she was afraid of rejection. Sylvie tries to help her see that there’s far less rejection than one would think. Claudia also helps Clover spread her wings by talking about her past as a photographer, and a scandalous affair she had while in Corsica while she was engaged to Sebastian’s grandfather.

As the book progresses, Clover faces some hard truths about her life through the relationships she’s forged. She realizes she’s still got some growing up to do, and plenty of life to experience. And with the help of her new friends, she does. This book ended much more on a high note than the beginning, where I was dreading reading about death so much. Because ultimately the book is about life and living it to the fullest.

I received a copy of this book from NetGalley and St. Martin’s Press in exchange for an honest review. All opinions expressed are my own.

If you’re a fan of the Midnight Library, this new book release is for you.

The Collected Regrets of Clover is a beautiful debut by Mikki Brammer. It’s a standalone contemporary novel that follows Clover, an introverted thirty-something living in NYC. As a death doula who helps others at the end of their life, she’s grieving the death of her best friend—her grandfather. When she takes on a feisty new client named Claudia, whose last wish is to find out what happened to her long-lost love, Clover goes out of her comfort zone and embarks on a journey to find answers. In this search to ease Claudia’s regrets, Clover might also find the courage to get her own happy ending.

I loved the dialogue and how it made me ponder my own hopes and dreams. I can’t wait to get the physical copy because there are so many passages I’d love to highlight, especially the last page. I can’t stop thinking about it. Breathtaking and heartwarming ending.

I empathized with Clover, and I loved that there was an anti-love interest because it was realistic and it also challenged Clover and her beliefs. While there ends up being a sweet love story in this book, that’s not necessarily the focus. The main focus is on Clover and her character development when it comes to grieving her grandfather and coming to terms with living her life without him. I was really rooting for Clover, and I enjoyed that she found friendship in Claudia, her elderly neighbor Leo, and her new neighbor Sylvie.

While this is an adult book, this reminded me of Nina LaCour’s We Are Okay. If you like introspective books, I highly recommend The Collected Regrets of Clover, which will be available May 9, 2023.

Thank you to St. Martin’s Press for the digital galley and the opportunity to be a part of the SMP Influencer Program.

TW: Death, Grief, Cancer, Heart Attack

#TheCollectedRegretsofClover #SMPInfluencers

💐I absolutely LOVED this book! 💐

💐Clover is a death doula- she sits with those who are dying so they can pass away peacefully. This book is not just about death- its about celebrating life and living to the fullest. We get snipetts of her clients' lives, their regrets, their accomplishments and lessons they have learned. Clover spends so much time with the dying that she feels like she is living a full life through them.

💐The MC: Clover seems to have trouble making friends, can't handle too much chaos, has trouble understanding cues from her peers (she seems to be slightly on the spectrum.) Clover is determined to help her fiesty client, Claudia die in peace, by finding her long lost lover. There is a lot of character development as she challenges herself to break out of her comfort zone. We see Clover making friends, going on dates, and trying new things.

💐Supporting characters - all of the characters were well developed. I loved Leo and Claudia. Even the characters that were slightly frustrating had redeeming qualities that made up for the behavior that I found annoying.

💐I highly recommend this book. If you liked "The Measure", this one is way better IMO. 😉
I wish I could go read it again!

Many of us feel uncomfortable with death or even talking about it, even though it’s something we all face eventually. Not so for Clover Brooks. A death doula, Clover spends most of her time with people who are close to death, helping them emotionally prepare for the end of their life. She tries to learn a lesson from each of them, writing down their last words into her journals, labeled either “Regrets,” “Advice,” or “Confessions.” But how much has Clover really learned from them all? She’s not truly living. Her only friend is 87 years old—more than 50 years her senior—and she’s never had a romantic partner. Maybe it’s time to really put those lessons to use.

The Collected Regrets of Clover starts off a bit slowly, allowing readers to gradually get to know Clover, her inner world, and her limited interactions with others. We also get to see her in action as a death doula and see several deaths, both from her childhood and in her current job. We get a sense for how isolated Clover is and how much she craves human connection and touch, even though she fears and avoids it.

The first several chapters felt melancholy to me, but luckily the book quickly picked up from there. The first sign of change is when Clover attends a death cafe (those are real things!) and meets a man there named Sebastian. His grandmother has terminal cancer, and Clover now has a new client to work with for the next couple of months. As Clover works with the effervescent Claudia, she’s also learning how to let people into her personal life. She’s (reluctantly) befriending an excitable new neighbor and even trying out dating for the first time.

I enjoyed seeing Clover open up to people and learn to let them in. She’s a bit awkward and very unsure of herself. In some ways she’s finally coming of age, just later than most at 36. But she’s endearing, and I related to her in certain ways myself. Like her, I’m an introvert and generally prefer books and pets to people. She also loves (well, loved) to travel, as do I. In her newly developing relationships, not everything unfolds in the way you’d expect, which adds a bit of surprise to the story. But with all the ups and downs, she’s finding good people for her.

Several of the most important characters here are elderly. I appreciate that they’re treated as fully-formed, multi-faceted people with history and enduring feelings and ideas. This books shines a light on how interesting people are, including those who are old, even though younger people may think of them in limited ways. They’re more than just your grandparent; they had a full, long life that would be fascinating to learn about. Claudia and Leo certainly prove as much.

It’s heartwarming to see Clover grow, both through the wisdom passed on by dying and through her new relationships with Sylvie, Sebastian, and Hugo. There’s that big message of letting yourself live to the fullest, not holding yourself back, not having regrets. Maybe it can come across as cheesy, but it’s also so important to hear. It’s easier said than done, and Clover is finally putting in the work to live more fearlessly and be more “cautiously reckless.”

Although death isn’t something I like to think about or dwell on too much, it’s not something I’m uncomfortable with. I suppose it just makes me sad, but books like this can help normalize it and inspire us all to live more fully while we can.

The Collected Regrets of Clover is a heartfelt, thoughtful, and inspiring novel. It’s about grief and death, but also about connection and action and life. It highlights loneliness and friendship and a bit of romance, all with an endearing character who’s finally blossoming into herself. This is a wonderful debut novel, one I’ll certainly recommend to others (starting with my sister!), and I look forward to reading more from Mikki Brammer.

Mikki Brammer wrote an intriguing story about death and how we all deal with it in different ways. Clover is a death doula, which sounds like a fascinating job, who lives in the apartment she grew up in with her grandfather who raised her. Her parents were killed on an overseas trip when she was little. This story follows Clover and how she does her job, what she studied, and how she might be using her job to avoid any real connections with other people. The exception to that is her elderly neighbor, Leo, who has been a part of her life since she came to live with her grandfather and has kept an eye on her since he passed. This story is intricately woven with stories from the present and the past and I didn't want it to end. Highly recommend reading this one!

Thanks to the publisher & NetGalley for advanced copy in exchange for my honest review

Here’s to living a life with fewer regrets.

This is far and away my favorite read of the year. As someone who has dealt with tragic losses of loved ones in my life, the way grief was addressed in this story really hit home for me. Grief truly is just love looking for a place to settle.

Before reading this book I had never heard of a death doula so the premise had me intrigued. Clover saw her kindergarten teacher keel over and die and she has been interested in death ever since, especially as both her parents died not long after and then her grandfather goes and dies fifteen years later while she is off travelling. Clover keeps journals of the people she keeps company with while they pass away. There are three types of journals: Regrets, Advice and Confessions. Clover finally starts to review her own life and regrets when she gets Claudia as a client and decides to help her on her quest about her regrets.

For a story about a death doula, this book was pretty heartwarming at times and is more about celebrating life and enjoying it to the fullest. Clover's flashbacks to her childhood were my favourite parts of the book, especially the ones with her grandfather. I was confused at times about Clover though. Parts of the book have her as a mature 20-something travelling the world and then in later parts she's a shy 30-something with no self-esteem to self-worth. Maybe that was deliberate on the author's part to show what a family death and guilt can do to a person.

It's hard to like and enjoy a character-driven book when you don't like or can't relate to the main character and I had a really hard time connecting to Clover...in fact, this book had a lot of unlikeable characters in it. Clover has no friends and no social life outside of an older man her grandfather was friends with and I can't blame people for not wanting to spend time with her. I did not like the little romance angle at all, it didn't seem to fit in with the rest of the story. So this was kind of a hit-and-miss with me but it has many great reviews so don't take my word for it.

Shelf Awareness PRO, April 18, 2023:

The Collected Regrets of Clover is journalist Mikki Brammer's first novel, a heartfelt and poignant story focusing on a death doula and all she learns in her work with death and dying--and, in the process, about life and living.

Clover Brooks was just five years old when she first saw a person die (her kindergarten teacher), and has witnessed 96 more deaths since then in her work as a death doula. "A birth doula helps usher someone into life, and a death doula helps usher them peacefully out of it," Clover explains patiently to a new neighbor. It's work she's proud of and honored to do, though she realizes that her proximity to--and comfort with--death marks her as "out of step with the rest of the world." And perhaps she is a bit odd, but she's mostly okay with that--even if she's also a bit lonely, and unsure of how to go about becoming less so: "It wasn't that I was opposed to the idea of friendship, it's just that if you don't get close to anyone, you can't lose them."

That's all thrown into chaos when Clover's latest client--a wealthy old woman with a charming smile and a sense of adventure--inadvertently sets Clover on a scavenger hunt through old photos and letters in search of a long-lost lover. It's a search that forces Clover out of her comfort zone, and ushers in relationships with other people (both romantic and not), forcing her to grapple once and for all with her own regrets, rather than those of her dying clients.

Brammer writes with grace and heart about the complicated and complex world of grief. Through Clover's life, as well as the stories of her clients, The Collected Regrets of Clover explores anticipatory grief, denial, anger, loss, and--as the title suggests--regret. Despite the heavy subject, though, Brammer's debut is never dark or hopeless. Rather, it reads as an invitation to accept death as merely a part of life, a part that can, in the right circumstances, even be beautiful. "Giving someone the chance to be seen at their most vulnerable is much more healing than any words." Though tinged with the sadness of those lost, The Collected Regrets of Clover is ultimately a beautiful story of belonging and connection and, cliché though it may sound, what it really means to live life to its fullest. --Kerry McHugh, freelance reviewer

Shelf Talker: A death doula learns to be as comfortable with life as with death in a heartfelt novel about grief, love, and belonging.

Such a unique premise for this book about a young woman whose life mission is that she is a death doula, she helps to usher those who are dying peacefully and with dignity. Having lost her parents at a young age, Clover was raised by her grandfather who taught her to observe everything and everyone, to look for patterns, and you will learn so much. Following the death of her grandfather, Clover grieves and feels guilty that he died alone while she was traveling the world, studying about death practices and traditions in other cultures. Unconsciously, she tries to amend for that by being a death doula and be with others so they don't die alone. She keeps three journals to record her clients last thoughts and classifies them as regrets, advice, and confessions. While Clover is comfortable with death, she has forgotten how to live as she is quite the loner, holed up in her grandfathers apartment surrounded by his things that she can't part with. Her lone friend is Leo, an 87 year old man in her building until a new tenant moves in and Clover decides that it's time to take a chance and begins to strike up a friendship with her. Then Clover meets Sebastian at a death cafe and what follows is his grandmother, Claudia becoming her new client. Claudia is a woman who has lived a courageous life for a woman as a photojournalist but then bowed to convention when she married. Her one regret is giving up her lost love to marry a man her family expected. But Clover learns so much from Claudia, and from Leo, pearls of wisdom to finally begin living if she only will take the chance so as not to have regrets. While a unique story line, this is a book about living each day as it is your last, to appreciate everything around you, and to value others and yourself. Lots of good advice for everyone. This was a book that I read straight through and think that it will be on everyone's TBR list. It was heartwarming and thoughtful, certainly something to stay with you long after the last page. While I found myself emotional at parts, it is a book of hope. I loved it.
Many thanks to #netgalley #thecollectedregretsofclover #mikkibrammer #st.martinspressk for the opportunity to read and review this book.

📚 Book Review 📚

The Collected Regrets of Clover
by Mikki Brammer
⭐️⭐️⭐️
(3/5 stars)

This debut novel follows Clover, a lonely and introverted death doula residing in NYC. Losing her parents as a child, and her grandfather who raised her, Clover takes care of those that are at the end stage of their lives. As she dedicates her whole life to helping others, she’s letting her own pass her by. Through some special people that she eventually allows into her heart, she discovers what it truly means to live.

This was a sweet, endearing, and original story. I liked how the author normalized death and grief and tried to break down a lot of the stigma and misconceptions related to both.

On the flip side, I wouldn’t describe this book as riveting or “unputdownable”, or one I would even recommend to someone, but it held my attention and was interesting enough.

Thank you to @netgalley and @stmartinspress for this advanced copy.
Pub Date: 5/9/23

#books #reading #readers #fiction #readersofinstagram #bookstagram #bookstagrammer #bookreview #bookcommunity #bookrecommendations #2023reads #goodreads #goodreadschallenge #baking #bakersofinstagram #bakestagram #netgalley #stmartinspress

I really enjoyed The Collected Regrets of Clover; I found Clover to be such a charming character. Clover is a death doula, she has been surrounded by death her whole life, starting with her kindergarten teacher dying in front of her and her parents's death when she was 6. She was raised by her idiosyncratic grandfather and has been socially awkward (not by nature but by nurture) her whole life and is now a 36 year old lonely woman with one octogenarian friend and has never been kissed. The story really opens as her life begins a new chapter: a new friend, she dips her toe in dating, and meets a new client to whom she becomes quite attached. Clover is finally learning how to live.

I found this book lovely and uplifting. The characters were quirky and fun and even though the book somewhat revolves around death, it was not really sad. This was a 4.25 star book for me, I look forward to the author’s next novel.

Thank you to NetGalley, St. Martin's Press for the chance to review

I loved this book so much! I really didn’t know what it was about when I started reading it, but I quickly was obsessed! The characters are well developed, and I couldn’t help but love them all!

3.5 stars, rounded up
This is the second book I’ve read about a death doula. (The other was The Next Thing You Know). It worked best when it tackled our society’s fear of death, as seen through one particular family.
Clover Brooks was an only child, a young orphan who learned early on that a way to avoid loss is not to make connections in the first place. She loves to read and is happier with her nose in a book or with her pets (a dog and two cats). Needless to say, those traits definitely help me relate to her. She became a death doula after the grandfather who raised her died alone. She’s now 36, has only one friend, an elderly gentleman and has never been kissed. Things start to change when she visits a death cafe and meets Sebastian. Death cafes? Yes, they’re a real thing and not just in NYC. Soon thereafter, a new tenant moves into her building and a budding friendship begins.
This is a sweet, heartwarming story. At times, it crosses over to the very saccharine and cliched plot points you would expect. But other times, it surprised me by not giving into the cliches, like at the end. I struggled a bit with Clover. We are expected to believe that someone as warm, caring and mature on the job would be so introverted and immature in real life. The best parts of the story revolve around Claudia, Sebastian’s grandmother and Clover’s client. My favorite line:
“Grief is just love looking for a place to settle.”
My thanks to Netgalley and St. Martin’s Press for an advance copy of this book.

"Grief is just love looking for a place to settle."

Clover is surrounded by death. As a 36-year-old death doula, Clover helps to delicately and honestly guide people through the death process. Clover has dedicated so much time to helping the dying that she is barely living herself, she's become guarded, and the only friends she has in her life are her pets and her elderly neighbor, Leo. When life... and death bring two new people into her life, she is pushed from her comfort zone and into a new mission to grant the final wishes of a dying woman.

This was a story that I was not expecting. I went into The Collected Regrets of Clover expecting a story of a reclusive and insecure woman who through dealing with the dying goes on a grand adventure to find a long-lost love and bring closure to her dying friend. Though it is indeed that, it's also so much more. It is an incredibly moving story centered around grief, love, and belonging.

The actual "adventure" in this novel was shorter than expected, but in my opinion, the whole story was an adventure of Clover really finding herself.

‘A big-hearted and life-affirming debut about a death doula who, in caring for others at the end of their life, has forgotten how to live her own, for readers of Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine and The Midnight Library.’
This was the line on the publisher’s page that attracted me to the novel. And yes, if you liked Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine you will enjoy this one. It is not the same story but it is about a lonely person in this world trying to find her way.
Clover is a Death Doula, well that was the first thing I needed to look up, I had no idea this was a job. Then I was shocked to learn about Death Café’s. Turns out they are held all over the place. If you type it into google for your area I’m sure you will find one.
Aside from all the new things I learned from this book, it is just a nice story of a woman helping another woman come to terms with her life before she passes on. It is also the story of a woman trying to figure out how to live her best life before she reaches the dying phase that all her clients go through. It is a story of friendship and love.