Here’s to living a life with fewer regrets.

This is far and away my favorite read of the year. As someone who has dealt with tragic losses of loved ones in my life, the way grief was addressed in this story really hit home for me. Grief truly is just love looking for a place to settle.

Before reading this book I had never heard of a death doula so the premise had me intrigued. Clover saw her kindergarten teacher keel over and die and she has been interested in death ever since, especially as both her parents died not long after and then her grandfather goes and dies fifteen years later while she is off travelling. Clover keeps journals of the people she keeps company with while they pass away. There are three types of journals: Regrets, Advice and Confessions. Clover finally starts to review her own life and regrets when she gets Claudia as a client and decides to help her on her quest about her regrets.

For a story about a death doula, this book was pretty heartwarming at times and is more about celebrating life and enjoying it to the fullest. Clover's flashbacks to her childhood were my favourite parts of the book, especially the ones with her grandfather. I was confused at times about Clover though. Parts of the book have her as a mature 20-something travelling the world and then in later parts she's a shy 30-something with no self-esteem to self-worth. Maybe that was deliberate on the author's part to show what a family death and guilt can do to a person.

It's hard to like and enjoy a character-driven book when you don't like or can't relate to the main character and I had a really hard time connecting to Clover...in fact, this book had a lot of unlikeable characters in it. Clover has no friends and no social life outside of an older man her grandfather was friends with and I can't blame people for not wanting to spend time with her. I did not like the little romance angle at all, it didn't seem to fit in with the rest of the story. So this was kind of a hit-and-miss with me but it has many great reviews so don't take my word for it.

Shelf Awareness PRO, April 18, 2023:

The Collected Regrets of Clover is journalist Mikki Brammer's first novel, a heartfelt and poignant story focusing on a death doula and all she learns in her work with death and dying--and, in the process, about life and living.

Clover Brooks was just five years old when she first saw a person die (her kindergarten teacher), and has witnessed 96 more deaths since then in her work as a death doula. "A birth doula helps usher someone into life, and a death doula helps usher them peacefully out of it," Clover explains patiently to a new neighbor. It's work she's proud of and honored to do, though she realizes that her proximity to--and comfort with--death marks her as "out of step with the rest of the world." And perhaps she is a bit odd, but she's mostly okay with that--even if she's also a bit lonely, and unsure of how to go about becoming less so: "It wasn't that I was opposed to the idea of friendship, it's just that if you don't get close to anyone, you can't lose them."

That's all thrown into chaos when Clover's latest client--a wealthy old woman with a charming smile and a sense of adventure--inadvertently sets Clover on a scavenger hunt through old photos and letters in search of a long-lost lover. It's a search that forces Clover out of her comfort zone, and ushers in relationships with other people (both romantic and not), forcing her to grapple once and for all with her own regrets, rather than those of her dying clients.

Brammer writes with grace and heart about the complicated and complex world of grief. Through Clover's life, as well as the stories of her clients, The Collected Regrets of Clover explores anticipatory grief, denial, anger, loss, and--as the title suggests--regret. Despite the heavy subject, though, Brammer's debut is never dark or hopeless. Rather, it reads as an invitation to accept death as merely a part of life, a part that can, in the right circumstances, even be beautiful. "Giving someone the chance to be seen at their most vulnerable is much more healing than any words." Though tinged with the sadness of those lost, The Collected Regrets of Clover is ultimately a beautiful story of belonging and connection and, cliché though it may sound, what it really means to live life to its fullest. --Kerry McHugh, freelance reviewer

Shelf Talker: A death doula learns to be as comfortable with life as with death in a heartfelt novel about grief, love, and belonging.

Such a unique premise for this book about a young woman whose life mission is that she is a death doula, she helps to usher those who are dying peacefully and with dignity. Having lost her parents at a young age, Clover was raised by her grandfather who taught her to observe everything and everyone, to look for patterns, and you will learn so much. Following the death of her grandfather, Clover grieves and feels guilty that he died alone while she was traveling the world, studying about death practices and traditions in other cultures. Unconsciously, she tries to amend for that by being a death doula and be with others so they don't die alone. She keeps three journals to record her clients last thoughts and classifies them as regrets, advice, and confessions. While Clover is comfortable with death, she has forgotten how to live as she is quite the loner, holed up in her grandfathers apartment surrounded by his things that she can't part with. Her lone friend is Leo, an 87 year old man in her building until a new tenant moves in and Clover decides that it's time to take a chance and begins to strike up a friendship with her. Then Clover meets Sebastian at a death cafe and what follows is his grandmother, Claudia becoming her new client. Claudia is a woman who has lived a courageous life for a woman as a photojournalist but then bowed to convention when she married. Her one regret is giving up her lost love to marry a man her family expected. But Clover learns so much from Claudia, and from Leo, pearls of wisdom to finally begin living if she only will take the chance so as not to have regrets. While a unique story line, this is a book about living each day as it is your last, to appreciate everything around you, and to value others and yourself. Lots of good advice for everyone. This was a book that I read straight through and think that it will be on everyone's TBR list. It was heartwarming and thoughtful, certainly something to stay with you long after the last page. While I found myself emotional at parts, it is a book of hope. I loved it.
Many thanks to #netgalley #thecollectedregretsofclover #mikkibrammer #st.martinspressk for the opportunity to read and review this book.

📚 Book Review 📚

The Collected Regrets of Clover
by Mikki Brammer
⭐️⭐️⭐️
(3/5 stars)

This debut novel follows Clover, a lonely and introverted death doula residing in NYC. Losing her parents as a child, and her grandfather who raised her, Clover takes care of those that are at the end stage of their lives. As she dedicates her whole life to helping others, she’s letting her own pass her by. Through some special people that she eventually allows into her heart, she discovers what it truly means to live.

This was a sweet, endearing, and original story. I liked how the author normalized death and grief and tried to break down a lot of the stigma and misconceptions related to both.

On the flip side, I wouldn’t describe this book as riveting or “unputdownable”, or one I would even recommend to someone, but it held my attention and was interesting enough.

Thank you to @netgalley and @stmartinspress for this advanced copy.
Pub Date: 5/9/23

#books #reading #readers #fiction #readersofinstagram #bookstagram #bookstagrammer #bookreview #bookcommunity #bookrecommendations #2023reads #goodreads #goodreadschallenge #baking #bakersofinstagram #bakestagram #netgalley #stmartinspress

I really enjoyed The Collected Regrets of Clover; I found Clover to be such a charming character. Clover is a death doula, she has been surrounded by death her whole life, starting with her kindergarten teacher dying in front of her and her parents's death when she was 6. She was raised by her idiosyncratic grandfather and has been socially awkward (not by nature but by nurture) her whole life and is now a 36 year old lonely woman with one octogenarian friend and has never been kissed. The story really opens as her life begins a new chapter: a new friend, she dips her toe in dating, and meets a new client to whom she becomes quite attached. Clover is finally learning how to live.

I found this book lovely and uplifting. The characters were quirky and fun and even though the book somewhat revolves around death, it was not really sad. This was a 4.25 star book for me, I look forward to the author’s next novel.

Thank you to NetGalley, St. Martin's Press for the chance to review

I loved this book so much! I really didn’t know what it was about when I started reading it, but I quickly was obsessed! The characters are well developed, and I couldn’t help but love them all!

3.5 stars, rounded up
This is the second book I’ve read about a death doula. (The other was The Next Thing You Know). It worked best when it tackled our society’s fear of death, as seen through one particular family.
Clover Brooks was an only child, a young orphan who learned early on that a way to avoid loss is not to make connections in the first place. She loves to read and is happier with her nose in a book or with her pets (a dog and two cats). Needless to say, those traits definitely help me relate to her. She became a death doula after the grandfather who raised her died alone. She’s now 36, has only one friend, an elderly gentleman and has never been kissed. Things start to change when she visits a death cafe and meets Sebastian. Death cafes? Yes, they’re a real thing and not just in NYC. Soon thereafter, a new tenant moves into her building and a budding friendship begins.
This is a sweet, heartwarming story. At times, it crosses over to the very saccharine and cliched plot points you would expect. But other times, it surprised me by not giving into the cliches, like at the end. I struggled a bit with Clover. We are expected to believe that someone as warm, caring and mature on the job would be so introverted and immature in real life. The best parts of the story revolve around Claudia, Sebastian’s grandmother and Clover’s client. My favorite line:
“Grief is just love looking for a place to settle.”
My thanks to Netgalley and St. Martin’s Press for an advance copy of this book.

"Grief is just love looking for a place to settle."

Clover is surrounded by death. As a 36-year-old death doula, Clover helps to delicately and honestly guide people through the death process. Clover has dedicated so much time to helping the dying that she is barely living herself, she's become guarded, and the only friends she has in her life are her pets and her elderly neighbor, Leo. When life... and death bring two new people into her life, she is pushed from her comfort zone and into a new mission to grant the final wishes of a dying woman.

This was a story that I was not expecting. I went into The Collected Regrets of Clover expecting a story of a reclusive and insecure woman who through dealing with the dying goes on a grand adventure to find a long-lost love and bring closure to her dying friend. Though it is indeed that, it's also so much more. It is an incredibly moving story centered around grief, love, and belonging.

The actual "adventure" in this novel was shorter than expected, but in my opinion, the whole story was an adventure of Clover really finding herself.

‘A big-hearted and life-affirming debut about a death doula who, in caring for others at the end of their life, has forgotten how to live her own, for readers of Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine and The Midnight Library.’
This was the line on the publisher’s page that attracted me to the novel. And yes, if you liked Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine you will enjoy this one. It is not the same story but it is about a lonely person in this world trying to find her way.
Clover is a Death Doula, well that was the first thing I needed to look up, I had no idea this was a job. Then I was shocked to learn about Death Café’s. Turns out they are held all over the place. If you type it into google for your area I’m sure you will find one.
Aside from all the new things I learned from this book, it is just a nice story of a woman helping another woman come to terms with her life before she passes on. It is also the story of a woman trying to figure out how to live her best life before she reaches the dying phase that all her clients go through. It is a story of friendship and love.

The Collected Regrets of Clover by Mikki Brammer is a Blend of Family and Women's Fiction!

Clover has been faced with death several times in her young life but the death of her grandfather is the one that rocked her world. He was her only living relative when her parents died, he was the one who raised her, and when Clover was on the other side of the world, her grandfather died alone.

It's when and why Clover decides to become a death doula. She ensures her clients are not alone during their final days by listening to their regrets and advice, and if they feel like making any confessions, she's there for that, too. She loves being a death doula and views it as an honor and a privilege to serve the dying.

When Clover's not busy with a client, she's lost, lonely, and always feels like an outsider. She isolates herself in her apartment for days at a time with her pets and mindlessly watches videos. When she's craving something different, she goes to a death cafe or turns off the lights and uses her binoculars to watch the neighbor couple across the way. Yikes.

Then Clover meets a new client named Claudia who's a wise and well-traveled ninety-one-year-old woman with advice, a long held confession, and regrets that triggers Clover to reflect on her own life...

The Collected Regrets of Clover has left me with mixed feelings. Clover is sweet, naive, bright, yet so incredibly and painfully lonely I wanted to give her a great big hug. Then I realized she's a thirty-six-year old adult and her behaviors felt YA leaning. This combination didn't work for me.

The Collected Regrets of Clover progresses slower than I expected and although I love a slow-burn that allow deep background into characters and backstories, at 60% in, it feels repetitious. At 62% the pace picks up and everything changes but is this shift enough to alter how I felt about this story up to this point?

I love The Collected Regrets of Clover from 62% on and the ending was just about perfect but it wasn't enough to change how I felt about the story over all. It's an imaginative story with great characters that grabbed me in the beginning, lost me in middle, then pulled me back in at the end.

3.5 stars rounded down!

Thank you to NetGalley, St. Martin's Press, and Mikki Brammer for an ARC of this book. It has been an honor to give my honest and voluntary review.

Thank you to NetGalley BIG time for allowing me to read this thought-proving novel. Congratulations to the author, Nikki Brammer, for a job so beautifully and poetically done!

One can tell I just loved this book. I found Clover's occupation as a death doula was very unique and so beautiful for the dying who had the privilege of being under the safety and love that only Clover could offer. I researched and indeed there are death cafes all over; even zoom meetings. Being present when my mom passed away I often told people that I felt like a reverse midwife - talking to her, encouraging her and giving her permission to go.

We learn so much about Clover and Clover learns so much about life and herself through her clients. For anyone who has ever felt "stuck" (no explanation needed) this book will help you emerge as a beautiful butterfly!

The Collected Regrets of Clover by Mikki Brammer had me at the hook. Clover is a death doula who collects the advice, confessions, and regrets of her dying clients. She lives life vicariously, a perpetual wallflower. She counts her elderly neighbor and furry pets as her closest and only friends, visiting death cafes in her spare time. Sounds intriguing, right?
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The first several chapters had me pulled in and fully engaged, particularly her backstory of traumatic loss. And then, something happened, though I’m not sure exactly what. As I type up these words, I’m a bit stuck, sorting out how to write the generous review I know this book deserves while also being honest about its shortcomings. I think the novel is a really solid story overall that many people will enjoy reading. Brammer speaks so honestly about death and grief. It’s a welcome escape from the toxic positivity and generic platitudes normally handed out to grievers. On that fact alone, it’s a good read.
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That said, I also found myself struggling to connect with Clover, the protagonist. I found her to be quite emotionally immature in a way that was more irritating than endearing. I didn’t really believe how forgiving her new neighbor and her potential love interest were in the face of her little tantrums and meltdowns. It seemed strange that someone who had the emotional maturity and social skill to sit with someone as they process their own death didn’t also have the same ability to have basic conversations with peers.
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All that to say, I still recommend this book. You just need to be a bit better about suspending your disbelief than I am.
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A big thank you to Net Galley and St. Martin’s Press for a digital review copy ahead of the novel’s May 2023 release.

Exposed to a death early in life to be followed quickly by the deaths of her parents, Clover is raised by her maternal grandfather. It makes perfect sense that Clover becomes a death doula. But while she eases the transitioning of the dying, she herself does not truly live. No friends, no workmates, no significant others excepting for an elderly friend of her now deceased grandfather.
In a bid to get out more, Clover starts attending death cafes where people can get together and just discuss what is seemingly a taboo subject in the United States. That's where a chance encounter leads to the expansion of Clovers life.
I loved following along with life expanding changes for Clover. And how she fought those changes as a way to protect what was so traumatized in her youth, her heart and mind. A feel good story that embraces death instead of turning away from it.
I give this 4.25 stars
Thank you to my {partner} St. Martin's Press for access to an early e-copy. All opinions are my own.

What I Liked
-we follow a single main character from the time they are six until they are in their thirties.
-In the main character we get representation for a job not often talked about in my culture through her work as a death doula being with and offering guidance for those in their final days.
-Main character is also an avid reader
-The character of Claudia, exists and honestly I simply love her
What didn't work as well for me
-The tone struck during the first half of the book was sadder than expected even with the title and topic
-I wanted more though ironically feeling of longing for more may be something the writer intended.
Who I would recommend this title for
The Collected Regrets of Clover is a great read for those looking for contemporary fiction around the topic of death and dying that addresses the topic with respect and looks at life around death with hope.

“The Collected Regrets of Clover” by Mikki Brammer
If you only read one book this year… Chose this one.
It is an interesting look a Clover’s life from age 6 to thirty-something. The first half of this story sets the stage for what is coming next, the part that had me totally glued to this story. The more I read the more my emotions were involved and yes I shed copious mounts of tears. If you have ever lost someone you dearly love, you may once again feel the touch of your loss, you may realize a touch of comfort, and, you may find another new perspective. Yes, I shed a lot of tears (especially in the last few chapters) and smiled through most of those tears. I found 2 one sentence quotes I am keeping handy for when I need a touch of comfort or a reminder that once someone is a part of your life, they are a part of your life forever. Happy Reading ! !
NOTE: This review expresses my honest opinion
I received an ARC of this story from the publisher via NetGalley

I had trouble putting this book down. It was incredibly sad at times and dealt with a lot of death, but it was also a beautiful story with fantastic character development, a hint of romance, and witty dialogue. The main character Clover experienced so much sadness in her life, so it was no surprise that she kept to herself and her tiny bubble of relationships. I felt her anxiety as she began to expand her world and rooted for her the entire way. This one will stay with me for a while. Trigger warnings include death and loss of loved ones. As someone who typically avoids "sad" books that center around death, I was surprised by how much I loved this. It inspired me to take more risks.

I connected with the main character Clover on several fronts. She was an avid reader, very content in her own reclusive environment, a bit antisocial, a melancholy air about her. From a young age she was comfortable confronting death, like when her kindergarten teacher died right in front of her and she held his hand. When her parents died on one of their many trips to another continent her grandfather raised her. The story takes place in New York City after Clover's grandfather has been dead for 13 years. Clover's job is that of a death doula. She is the person who helps the dying talk about their wishes and regrets. This part of the book was very interesting. To learn about the small things that mean so much to the dying, little acts of compassion such as keenly listening, noting what kind of funeral plans the person would want, and hearing about the things they regret. Clover would keep notebooks of her client's last words and regrets and try to do things to honor them from time to time.

Although I greatly sympathized with Clover, I had a middling interest until about the 50% mark. Perhaps it was a tad depressing following Clover around as she dodged spontaneous meet ups with neighbors and prospective romantic entanglements. However, the story took off for me with the advent of the character of Claudia, a 90-ish wealthy lady who was dying. And thus the story was redeemed with tangents that opened Clover's world up to more possibilities and less regrets.

Thank you to the publisher St. Martin's Press for providing an advance reader copy via NetGalley.

What a beautifully written story. It really makes you think about life/death and makes you thankful for the limited time that you have on this planet with your loved ones.

Highly recommend picking this book up.

Thank you so much to Net Galley, the author, and St Martin’s Press for providing this book for my honest review. This is Mikki Brammer’s debut novel. I am speechless that this work of art is a debut. This is the most unique and inspirational book about life and death and how to truly live life. Clover, the main character, is a death doula who collects the last words and regrets of those she helps guide through their last moments. Through their stories and experiences and Clover discovering how to live her life, we are given a gorgeous novel about the true meaning of life. I highly recommend this book and I can not wait to read more from this author. Thank you so much to NetGalley, the author, and publisher.