The Collected Regrets of Clover
by Mikki Brammer (Goodreads Author)
1624588
Bonny's reviewApr 06, 2023 · edit
really liked it
bookshelves: fiction, netgalley, kindle

I was glad to receive a pre-publication copy of The Collected Regrets of Clover from Netgalley, especially because I don't come upon books about death doulas very often. This poignant and engaging novel is a worthwhile read if only to learn what a death doula is and what they do. Clover Brooks has been around death for most of her life, beginning in kindergarten when her teacher dropped dead while reading Peter Rabbit. Clover has often felt a closer connection to the dying than the living, and this continues through the death of her parents and the beloved grandfather that raised her. Because of these feelings, Clover becomes a death doula, holding the hands of the dying, helping them to deal with unresolved feelings and regrets, and recording their last words in one of three journals: “Regrets,” “Advice,” or “Confessions". One of her clients leads Clover towards romance, which felt a little jarring to me, but it is all in the name of Clover learning that "the secret to a beautiful death is to live a beautiful life". This may sound cliché, but that doesn't make it any less true. Ms. Brammer has written a lovely novel about a vulnerable woman and managed to do so without sentimentality.

Thank you to St. Martin's Press and NetGalley for providing me with a copy of this book.

It's a bit ironic to say that a book centered around death is uplifting, but that's exactly how I would categorize this story. The book is told in the perspective of Clover, a 36 year old death doula working in New York City. In her job, she helps people who are at the end of their lives, focusing on allowing them to have someone there with them when they pass. Clover has seemingly been surrounded by death her whole life, with witnessing a teacher die in front of her at the age of six and then having her parents pass shortly after causing her to have to move to the city with her Grandpa. It is after her grandpa passed that her life became stunted; she started living in solitude as one of her only friends had passed away. It isn't until she is confronted by new people in her life that she realizes that she hasn't truly been living in the present.

This was truly such a poignant and beautiful book about grief and loss, and more importantly love. I found Clover to be an interesting main character who has such character development. Throughout her journey in this book, I felt I was with her every step of the way, cheering for her when she would make strides and truly beaming through my tears at the ending. I was sad to finish because I truly loved this story so much. I know for certain I will be recommending this book to all my friends and purchasing a copy for myself when it is released. This has been my top read of the year so far! I am impressed that this is a debut book for this author, and will definitely be looking for more of her books in the future.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publishers for an advanced copy of this fantastic book. All opinions within this review are my own.

In kindergarten when she was five years old, Clover had her first encounter with death when her teacher, near the end of his reading ’Peter Rabbit’ to the class, he paused, the children eagerly awaiting what was to follow, and then fell off of the chair and onto the ground. While the rest of the class panicked, Clover sat next to him, holding his hand as he slipped away from this life. She spent the next years of her life wondering what he would have wanted his last words to be.

The following year, her parents were vacationing in China when there was an accident, and both of her parents died. Her grandfather takes her in, and she spends the following years living in New York City in his apartment in the West Village.

In the present time, as her story continues, she is thirty six, and her grandfather has been gone for thirteen years, although she still lives in the same apartment, which is now hers. but it is filled with memories of her life there, and her closest friend is a neighbor who is closer to ninety than to her age.

’New York is a city of lonely people full of regrets. It’s my job to make their final moments a little less lonesome.’

’Shepherding a dying person through the last days of their life is a privilege–especially when you’re the only thing they have to hold onto.’

She keeps several journals to record their last words, categorizing them under ‘Confessions’, ‘Regrets,’ and ‘Advice’ to honor what they’ve shared with her, their words becoming touchstones. She considers it an honor to be with them in their final moments. She considers it her sacred duty to collect their last words.

Her life begins to take somewhat of a turn when she meets Sebastian and he wants her to take on his grandmother, Claudia, as a client, but without letting the grandmother in on why she is there. Claudia isn’t that naive, but goes along with it because she really likes Clover, and enjoys their conversations. The more time they spend together, the more that Claudia shares of her life with Clover, and the more that Clover wants to do in return for Claudia, including seeking out an old ‘friend’ of Claudia’s from many, many years ago when she comes across Claudia’s photographs that share the story of someone she met all those years ago.

A lovely and heartfelt read.


Pub Date: 09 May 2023

Many thanks for the ARC provided by St. Martin's Press

The whole concept of this book is truly beautiful. Clover spends so so much time making sure others are okay, and forgets about herself. I relate to that so hard and was so impressed with this woman. I think we typically forget ourselves, so watching Clover rediscover herself and come back to life was truly magical. If you need a reminder to find who you are and a story to uplift you, Clover is here for you. I can’t wait to sell this story to people at work. It’s truly a one of a kind.

The Collected Regrets of Clover by Mikki Brammer

Um, I’m in love with this book. It’s a beautiful character driven story with a large growth arc. It has me wondering, do people really ever change that dramatically? But I think, sometimes they do. They just need something or someone to set them on their new path.

If you read the synopsis then you know, this story focuses heavily on death and people’s life regrets. The main character, Clover, is a death doula and keeps a record of the people she helps dying words and uses them to ensure her life doesn’t hold the same regrets. She does this all the while knowing the regrets she will end up with if she doesn’t change her current habits.

I don’t relate to Clover on many levels but the one I do is the main point I feel this story was trying to drive home: letting your life pass you by without truly living it. It’s easy to get caught up in the mundane without taking the time to be present and enjoy it. I love that this book is a pointed reminder to LIVE your life.

Content: death, grief, loneliness, one f word

Thank you Wednesday Books and Netgalley for my advanced copy. All thoughts are my own.

The Collected Regrets of Clover by Mikki Brammer

When five year old Clover watched her kindergarten teacher keel over while doing an exuberant reading of Peter Rabbit and Clover held his hand while he died, that might be the first time Clover realized she was "weird". Her schoolmates certainly thought she was weird and things never really got better after that. The next year her parents died and Clover went to live with her grandfather who encouraged to her to learn and to treat others with kindness. Still, Clover was different and when Clover's grandfather died alone while Clover was traveling, she never forgave herself. Clover trained to be a death doula so that, one by one, she could she could be present for those who might die alone without her presence.

Clover's only friend is her eighty seven year old neighbor, Leo. Otherwise, Clover spends time with her dog and two cats, doing her death doula work, and attending small group gatherings focused on death. But even in these gatherings Clover holds herself back, never telling anyone that she is a death doula and never going back to a group where she attracts too much attention. While Clover avoids interacting with anyone who isn't dying, she is so extremely lonely.

Clover is a mass of contradictions, she's judgmental, she's a hypocrite. But then she's never thought she was perfect, far from it, she is very aware of her failings, unable to see how others might see her unless it's in a bad light. Clover sees no end to this very lonely life, she doesn't have the tools to change where she is now.

Overall, I had a lot of trouble warming up to Clover, not that she would want a stranger to warm up to her. People leave, whether they do it on purpose or do it because life takes them away, and Clover is not going to get attached to anyone again. Clover does have a creepy hobby that is worse than being "weird" (I think I'm weird so I can be attracted to weird but not so much to creepy).

There is much reflection in this story, as Clover tries one more time to maybe connect to someone her age, maybe risk some romance if she can even figure out how to do it. I enjoyed learning about death doulas and know that what Clover is doing comes from her heart, she really is there for the person, but still Clover herself seems so cold that I couldn't really get into the story.

Thank you to St. Martin's Press and NetGalley for this ARC.

I thought this book was absolutely wonderful.

The story was so pure and heart-wrenching in all of the best ways. The main character was so enjoyable to read. Watching her growth throughout the story was so special.

If you’re someone who is dealing with grief, it might not be the book for you, because death plays a significant role in the novel.

A great work of fiction, and I look forward to reading more from this author!

An ARC was provided by NetGalley and St. Martin’s Press in exchange for an honest review.

This is a weird one to review because while the writing and general story are so beautiful, I ended up having to put this book down at 30 percent. I have really horrible death anxiety and I thought that this book would help with that anxiety but it only seemed to make it worse for me. This is 100% my fault for requesting this book knowing the subject matter and not a slight on the book at all. Reading the synopsis, I think this book delivers exactly what it is supposed to and I’m sure for the right audience, this book will be very successful.

I’ll be giving this book a five star on here because I think if it was something I could have read fully, it would have been five stars. Thank you so much to St. Martins Press for sending me the arc.

This moving story will stay with me for quite a while. This is not a lighthearted fun read, instead this is a thoughtful examination of grief and loneliness and how fear can drive our choices, I highlighted many meaningful passages and I know Clover will remain a character dear to my heart.
Clover is a complex and layered character. She has a unique job, to help those who are dying come to terms with with the life they are leaving and ensuring they are not alone. Death had been a part of her life since childhood. She feels an ease with death that most humans do not. Conversely she feels uncomfortable interacting with new people and social interactions, so she remains in her apartment most of the time, only spending time with her pets and her neighbor Leo whom she has known since childhood. It’s a lonely life, she acknowledges but she’s not willing to risk the rejection that she is sure will come with putting herself out there..
That begins to change when first a new client and then a new neighbor arrive in her life. These interactions result in Clover being thrust into new situations and re-examining her small world.
Readers who enjoyed Eleanor Oliphant or Susan Green (from The Cactus) will enjoy Clover with her quirky outlook and her insightful self discovery. I definitely recommend this book.

I had no idea what to expect when I started reading this book. It felt different: serious, somber, deliberately paced, and the central topic was something I knew nothing about. There was a tinge of sadness. Maybe more than a tinge. A character that says, “I rarely got to exchange physical touch with another person. It had always been that way – I didn’t even know if I was ticklish” immediately tugs at your heart. And this book that I wasn’t quite sure about, with its focus on death, ultimately became what may be my favorite book of the year, or one of my favorites of all time.

Clover’s early life was almost devoid of human contact, tenderness or love. Her parents abandoned her in spirit by travelling and always leaving her in the care of a neighbor. A neighbor who cared for her but who didn’t care about her. And then her parents literally left her when they died in an accident. The grandfather who raised her, despite his affection and care, was not a demonstrative man. She was already an outsider by then, though. She was just too comfortable with death for “normal” people to be comfortable with her.

Clover became a death doula after her grandfather died. She regretted not being there when he died and turned to the job of doula, providing support to the dying in a variety of ways. Her sensitivity and compassion make her excellent at it; she “collects” regrets of the dying in carefully maintained journals. Sometimes a little voice way, way, way in the back of her head wishes she had someone to share her life with, to sit in companionable silence and read, to exchange book recommendations. But she accepts that it will likely never happen. Her life is what it is and always will be.

Up to this point The Collected Regrets of Clover is a fascinating story of an unusual woman’s unusual life. But suddenly through the combination of a new friend in her apartment building who won’t take leave me alone for an answer, some prodding by her elderly neighbor, a budding relationship and a new client, Clover’s life opens up, and the story becomes amazing. To fulfill the final wishes of her client, she takes a road trip looking for clues to a lost love. Along the way Clover blossoms, her life blossoms and for the first time she sees that her possibilities may just be endless.

Death doulas, death cafes, death midwives – all unique and will keep you turning pages. But what will captivate you is the elegant, poetic, thoughtful writing, the attention to detail, and the threads that run throughout the book beginning to end, twisting, turning and connecting the past and the present and the people and the feelings. And then there is Clover. She is most captivating of all: a tender soul, a delight just waiting to be discovered.

Thanks to St. Martin's Press & Wednesday Books for providing an advance copy of The Collected Regrets of Clover via NetGalley for my reading pleasure and honest opinion. For a book that is all about death this story is full of life. It’s warm and comforting and reading it just makes you feel good. There are not many books like this and we should appreciate them. All opinions are my own.

3.5 ⭐️ rounded up

Mikki Brammer’s debut novel THE COLLECTED REGRETS OF CLOVER is about a death doula (named Clover) who, due to her own complicated grief, has been living a solitary and isolated existence. Having developed a fascination with death at a very young age, Clover chooses to support people through dying instead of living her own life (somehow she hasn’t figured out that both can exist in parallel). Following a few particularly meaningful deaths and with encouragement from some new friends, Clover will learn to break free from her own barriers to find meaning (and love) in the world she lives.

I’ll admit, I did not love Clover. She was too plain for a main character, acting overly simple and naive for a woman in her 30s living and working in New York City. But the story that surrounds her was sweet and redemptive and held my attention, so I overlooked it/her. There were a few unnecessary hiccups (no spoilers!) but nothing that a bit of skimming didn’t fix. Overall an enjoyable read.

Thank you NetGalley and the publisher for an ARC of the ebook in exchange for an honest review.

This book felt like a therapy session about dealing with death. It made me laugh and cry, though more like cry towards the second half of the book.

The Collective Regrets of Clover follows Clover, a death doula who spends most of her time with the dying than living. Clover has always been surrounded by death, first at the age of five when her interest was first piqued; then when her grandfather dies alone. This motivates her to become a death doula, ushering people into death, easing their last moment and collecting notebooks filled with Regrets, Memories, and Advice. It's only when she tries to fulfill a wish for Claudia, one of her clients, that she finds herself looking back on her life.

Like Clover, I always found death fascinating, so when I looked at the blurb, I was immediately intrigued. A death doula learning how to live her life? Sign me up!

I found Clover to be lovable and relatable: she tends to keep to herself in her apartment, read books, and has some eccentric hobbies (we love that for her!). In fact, I think all the characters in the book all had interesting qualities and they all felt human to me. They all had something to offer in Clover's life and mine, from a reader's perspective.

The Collected Regrets of Clover is thought-provoking and had me sit back in my chair and think about some of the things were said. Despite the book revolving around death, it felt hopeful. I can't wait to read more from Mikki Brammer; her prose and writing was easy to follow and flowed beautifully.

Thank you to St. Martin's Press and NetGallery for the eARC!

I received a digital ARC from St. Martin’s Press in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.

I appreciated how Clover related to the world, and how she matured as a person throughout the story. This is a very philosophical read. I found the ending uplifting.

I look forward to reading more from Mikki Brammer.

Clover has been comfortable with death for as long as she can remember. In fact, she's made it her job — as a death doula – to help people approaching their death, in whatever form that may take for them. It seems like a super personal and super emotional job, but Clover has more or less closed herself off to those sorts of feelings and experiences. Working a new job for an annoyingly personable man and his dying grandmother, Clover starts to question her style of living and wonders who will note down her own regrets in her final days. Is it too late to change what those pages might hold?

I fell head over heels for this book. Just, WOW. Like so many, I struggle with grief and acceptance of the death of loved ones, so particular notes of this book struck an intense chord with my own experiences. I absolutely love Clover, Leo, and Claudia, and was moved to tears more than once during my read. I don't want to give away too much here because it would spoil things, but I think the whole notion of Clover's happy ending coming about because of the sacrifice of someone else's (in this life, anyway) was beautiful and impactful. Stunning prose, characterization, and concepts all around.

This is a DEBUT novel, y'all, and I can't get over that fact! A stunning bit of fiction that has ensured that I'll be picking up whatever Mikki Brammer writes next. Thank you to Mikki, St. Martin's Press, and NetGalley for my advanced physical and digital copies!

I cannot say enough good things about this book. I was immediately so drawn to Clover and couldn’t help but get caught up in her story. She’s so quirky and interesting. I couldn’t put it down. The book ties life and death and love all together beautifully into one story. It’s not very often a book can bring me to tears but this one definitely did. I would definitely recommend this debut novel from Mikki Brammer.

“Grief, I’d come to realize was like dust. When you’re in the thick of a dust storm, you’re completely disoriented by the onslaught, struggling to see or breathe. But as the force recedes, and you slowly find your bearings and see a path forward, the dust begins to settle into crevices. And it will never disappear completely- as the years pass you’ll find it in unexpected places at unexpected moments. Grief is just love looking for a place to settle.”


Thank you NetGalley and St. Martins Press for the early copy of this book.

Laughed and then cried and then cried some more. Such a great book with amazing life lessons throughout.

The characters were brilliant, and gave great pieces of advice. 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼 This was a 5 star read for sure.

Thank you NetGalley for an arc:)

Clover is a death doula in New York City. She spends her time with people who are at the end of theirs, helping them come to peace at the end. From the beginning it was easy to see that this story would leave a place in my heart. It's a charming tale about a subject most people don't like to discuss. I would give this book to everyone if I could.

Such a beautiful story from Mikki Brammer. She draws attention to grief, death, and things that we, at least in the western world, tend to avoid. Clover Brooks is a death doula. Where birth doulas help usher life into the world, death doulas help usher life out. Although most people Clover has met throughout her life think it's weird that she would choose such a profession, I think there's quite a bit of beauty in it.

I greatly enjoyed this concept and the story, but I also felt like it was slow. For the first half of the book it seemed like there wasn't very much happening. I do believe the second half helps make up for that, but it definitely made it harder for me to get there.

I'm excited to see where Mikki Brammer goes from here!

I loved this story!
Clover is a 36 yr old death doula.
She had been in the presence of death since she was five years old and her Kindergarten teacher died in class. The next year her parents died while vacationing in China, and she had to move to New York City to live with her maternal grandfather.
Clover grew up a real introvert and didn’t have friends and never dated, a bookworm, who became very close with her grandfather.
After college and her grandfather’s death she starting being a doula and helping people prepare and be comfortable as they prepare for their next journey… in doing so she eventually comes to realize how she must live her life.
Loved this!

Thank you to Netgalley and St.Martin’s Press for the ARC!

Clover is death doula she makes sure people aren’t alone when they die and they with comfort and dignity. I have to admit I didn’t know this profession existed but I definitely think it is one we need. Clover wasn’t there when her grandfather died and she think this is her biggest regret and is trying to atone by helping others through the dying process. As she grows closer to a client she begins to see she may have other regrets and she has been so focused on death she’s missing her life. This books was so well written and I really enjoyed all the characters in the novel. I liked Clover a lot and was definitely hoping to see her move on properly from her grandfathers death and live her life to the fullest. I want to thank NetGalley and St. Martin's Press for the arc in exchange for an honest review.