b><blockquote>The truth is, grief never really goes away...it's like a bag that you always carry---it starts out as a large suitcase, as as the years go by, it might reduce to the size of a purse, but you carry it forever</b></bloclquote>

This is the story of Clover Brooks, a death doula. This is the first time I've ever heard of such a thing, but it was an intriguing read.

From an early age, Clover was surrounded by death. First, her teacher died in front of her, then her parents died in a car accident. Somehow, Clover has been fascinated and almost calm around the dying. She decides to travel the worth learning how other cultures usher people peacefully through their end of life process. She's also studied it at school.

Clover lives in the same apartment she lived in with her grandfather. During the day, she takes care of the dying, at night she comes home to her quiet existence, a few elderly neighbors as friends. She's collected three books as guides for herself: Regrets, Advice, Confessions. She often looks through these books, wondering how she wants to live her own life.

She joins at death cafe and meets a boy named Sebastian--he's instantly drawn to Clover. When Sebastian learns of Clover's career, he asks her to help his grandmother transition peacefully through life. Clover quickly forms a bond with Claudia, a photographer and witty women with a colorful past.

Even though the content of this book feels heavy, I was drawn to many of the quotes-=inspirational and important. Death is often a topic we shy away from, but Mikki Brammer writes with honesty and integrity, never brining a morbid vibe to her story.

<b><blockquote>Grief, I'd come to realize was like dust, When you're in the thick of a dust storm, you're completely disoriented by the onslaught, struggling to see or breathe. But as the force recedes, and you slowly find your bearing and see a path forward, the dust begins to settle into the crevices. And it will never disappear completely- as the years pass, you'll find it in unexpected places at unexpected moments</b></blockquote>

The part of the book that was a miss for me was the character of Clover. Her job requires her to be extremely apathetic, nurturing, intuitive--which she is when she's with her patients. However, outside of her job, Clover seems socially inept, almost awkward--it was hard to process the two varying characterizations. Clover is 36, yet she's never dated, had a boyfriend, or any friends? It was impossible to believe. She's traveled the world, yet doesn't know about yoga or a first kiss? This was the great miss for me in the story.

Otherwise, I was vested in her relationships with the dying, the way she approached her clients, making sure they were comforted and comfortable in their last moments.

<b><b;ockquote>The secret to a beautiful death is living a beautiful life</b>

3.75/5

Thank you to Netgalley and publishers for this advanced copy of The Collected Regrets of Clover

great book and such great characters. I enjoyed the mystery and some romance. I also enjoyed the journey of the characters. I didn't know what to expect with this book but I enjoyed it .

Beautiful story that makes the reader think about their life, regrets, advice, and adventures. Particularly enjoyed the wrong connection prior to finding the right one. The final scene and lines of the novel were heartwarming.

I completely fell in love with Clover from the first chapter. And I guess I must be in love with Mikki Brammer, too, for writing sentences like “the overhead light reflecting in his eyes like sunbeams on an unopened Coca-Cola bottle.”

Clover is a death doula. I had never heard the term and didn’t even know if it was real, so, of course, I googled it. Yes, there is such a thing, and yes, there are death cafes also, where people come together to talk about death. A death doula walks with you through the last days of your life, and helps you process.

Clover keeps three notebooks, in which she keeps notes on the last words or moments of her clients. One is Advice, one is Confessions, and one is Regrets. Clover tries to learn from them. She even tries to do some of the things people regret they never did.

You see, Clover is an extreme introvert. After her (rather uncaring) parents died in an accident abroad, Clover is raised by her grandfather. A wonderful man, he nevertheless presents a world in which the two of them are enough. So after his death, Clover really doesn’t know things like how to make friends or find lovers.

I don’t want to give away too much of the book (which is a must read) but two people walk into Clover’s life. One is Sebastian, whose grandmother is dying but the whole family thinks she doesn’t know. Sebastian wants Clover to be his grandmother Claudia’s death doula.
The other person is Sylvia, her new neighbor, who won’t take no as an answer, from life or from Clover.
Before the book is over, there is also Hugo.

I have a feeling this is one of those books I’m going to reread, just for the pleasure of revisiting it. I received an advance copy in exchange for my honest review, but I am quite sure if I hadn’t, I would have bought it anyway.

P.S. I do hope Mikki is going to write the screen play for the movie herself. It’s got to be a movie! It should be one of those ones with translucent figures of Grandpa, and Claudia, and Hugo each standing behind and watching over their loved one.

The Collected Regrets of Clover is a delightful, ultimately heartwarming debut novel by Mikki Brammer. Clover Brooks has a unique experience with death. In kindergarten, she observes her teacher pass away in the middle of story time and her reaction stands out from her classmates. Her parents die in an accident while they are traveling abroad, leaving a young Clover to live with her grandfather in New York City. After her grandfather dies while Clover is abroad, she turns to a profession unknown and misunderstood by many- a death doula. She helps individuals who are close to death through the end of life process, including many who would be alone otherwise. This profession, not surprisingly, can be a challenge to bring up when meeting people. While Clover is good with the dying, she finds herself not putting herself out there in relationships of her own. She is very much a loner, retreating after negative experiences both in friendships and potential romances. Her only consistent friend is an elderly man who lives in her building that she has known since she was a child.

After establishing Clover's life, Brammer introduces unexpected risks for Clover to take. After meeting Sebastian at a death cafe, she agrees to spend time with his dying grandmother Claudia. She also has a new neighbor move in below her who is persistent on getting to know her. She has to open herself up to new adventures (road trip to uncover a mystery love) and relationships (friendship and budding romance). All while trying to not to regress to her mean solitude when things do not go smoothly.

This is a lovely debut. Clover is an enjoyable and memorable character to follow throughout and I found myself deeply moved as the book came to an end. While I had some minor quibbles with how one of the side characters was written, this book was a delight, and highly recommend to readers interested in a moving tale of connection and finding joy and peace in difficult life circumstances. Well done!

Thank you to St. Martin's Press via NetGalley for the advance reader copy in exchange for honest review.

Clover, a death doula, has struggled to live a life worthy of the books after the death of her grandpa over a decade ago. With the help of a persistent new neighbor and a new client Clover slowly comes out of her shell and builds a life worth living.

This one hit a tad too close to home for my liking. “I regret existing out of habit.” What a line and what a massive gut punch. The first line of the book was also a banger. “The first time I watched someone die, I was five.”

Even though Clover insisted she isn’t asexual, she’s definitely demi coded.
- “I studied his face as he talked, trying to decide if he was attractive.”
- “I couldn't tell the difference between platonic admiration and the lukewarm beginnings of romantic attraction.”
These lines could be attributed to Clover’s inexperience but even those who have little experience don’t usually have trouble deciding whether they have romantic feelings unless they’re on the ace spectrum. The world needs more demi rep anyway so I hope she is.


Other notable quotes for me:
“But extended solitude was always a fickle thing. At first it soothed, swaddling me from the chaos and expectations of being human. Then, in an instant, it shifted from rejuvenation to numbing isolation.”
“Loving someone inevitably also meant one day losing them-if not by rejection or betrayal, then most certainly by death.”
“Just because you don't feel your feelings, doesn't mean they don't exist.”
“Pitying them wouldn't take away their pain. The kindest thing I could do for them was to look them in the eye and simply acknowledge their presence as human beings.”

3.5⭐

Thirty-six-year-old Clover Brooks works as a death doula in New York City, guiding her clients through the last days of their lives – keeping them company while also taking note of their last wishes and much more to make the transition easier for them. Witnessing the death of her kindergarten teacher as a child fueled her interest in the subject of death and her academic pursuit in thanatology. When she was twenty-three her grandfather who had raised her passed away while she was traveling and this further motivated her to her engage in this line of work. Though she is a consummate professional and takes pains to not get emotionally attached to her clients, she does record her experiences in three notebooks documenting what her clients share with her through their interactions in the form of -“Regrets”, “Advice” and “Confessions”. Her social life is practically non-existent and her closest friend is Leo her elderly neighbor and a friend of her late grandfather. When she isn’t working she spends her time watching movies, attending death cafes and watching her neighbors through their open windows. When Clover meets Claudia, a terminally ill but spirited ninety-one-year-old former photojournalist and grandmother of Sebastian, whom she met in a death café, Claudia’s stories and her regrets encourage Clover to take stock of her life and her own regrets. Uncharacteristically for her, she finds herself on a quest to help Claudia in a personal matter – a regret that Claudia has harbored over a lifetime – and doing so just might enable Clover to look at her own life and regrets from a fresh perspective.

One might expect a story that revolves around a death doula to be morbid and/or depressing. But Mikki Brammer’s debut novel The Collected Regrets of Clover is far from that. A celebration of life that urges you to enjoy every moment, take advantage of the opportunities life throws your way and live life with as few regrets as possible is a wonderful message this story conveys. The flashbacks to Clover’s childhood and her memories of her grandfather are so beautifully written and I just loved Claudia. Sylvie was an interesting character, to say the least. However, there are a few aspects of this story that prevented me from giving it a higher rating. Clover’s characterization felt both inconsistent and unconvincing. On one hand, she is portrayed as someone well-traveled and displays much maturity in her professional life but much of what we see of her in her personal life reads as a tad immature for a thirty-six-year-old. I also understand loneliness and the importance of human connection but Clover’s attempts at alleviating her feelings of loneliness by peeping into the lives of others (literally, with a pair of binoculars) was a tad off-putting, though I did feel sad for Clover. On this note, while I can see a character who has led an otherwise solitary life harboring a great deal of grief and closed off from friendship or romantic relationships take gradual steps in emerging from her self-constructed shell, the romance track (which I felt was unnecessary) and the changes in Clover’s worldview in this story felt a tad rushed.

Overall, this is a lovely story with a beautiful message that will resonate with many. I truly appreciate the premise and found the subject matter relevant and thought-provoking. There is a lot to like about this story and I appreciate the author’s effort to shed a light on sensitive topics such as aging, loneliness and the need for end-of-life respect and comfort.

Many thanks to author Miki Brammer, St. Martin’s Press and NetGalley for the digital review copy of this novel. All opinions expressed in this review are my own. This book is due to be released on May 9, 2023.

I'm not going to lie, when I picked up this book, I had no idea what to expect. The character didn't hook me at first, the situation was quite strange, and I thought I had walked into a book I wasn't going to enjoy at all.

I truly enjoyed this book, so very much.

I loved the side characters. I loved how the romance ended up. I enjoyed the main character, though I obviously liked her more once she started to come into her own.

There's something so quietly lovely about this book, and the death notebooks that Clover kept, that is going to make me think about this book longer than I thought I would.

What a warm little book.

Thank you to Saint Martin's Press and NetGalley for a chance to read and review.

Oooooo this was a good one. Challenging and thought provoking in the best way. I loved getting to know death a bit better from each characters perspective. And yes, I will fully admit to getting weepy thinking about my own regrets when it comes to my grandparents because boy do I have them.

I loved the overall concept of this story, Clover’s background and underlying personality, and how that plays out with her life choices and how she interacts with other characters. It was uncomfortable in the same way that all growth is: messy, necessary, and satisfying.

In this end, I’d recommend this read, especially to those who may be struggling with grief.

I'm on the fence about this novel. At thirty-six Clover is a loner, a bit childish at times, and is a death doula. I had never heard of this before and actually had to research what a death doula is. The book is ok, just bland. It could have used a little more drama. Thanks to Mikki Brammer, St.Martins Press, and NetGalley for providing a copy of this ebook for an honest review.

Thank you to St Martin's Press for the chance to read and review this book prior to release.

This was such a unique concept : a death doula with very few friendships/relationships keeping track of all of her "patients" regrets and advice. As she spent the last few moments of their lives with so many people, she gained a great deal of wisdom about life, but yet failed to put much of what she learned into practice.

It took just a few pages for me to fall in love with the writing style of Mikki Brammer. She has such a great way of describing emotions and helping you get a depth of understanding for the characters.

Clover was such an interesting person with such a heavy past that I was left feeling so bad for her. While some of her decisions were pretty rough, you can't fault her too much based on her obsurd upbringing.

There were parts of this story I loved and some parts I could have done without. I did appreciate the ending and how things came together.

I think this will be a hit for those who liked Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine. It gave me those same happy/sad vibes simultaneously. I don't think this will be for everyone and I don't personally relate to Clover but I know many will.

I'm so excited to read what she writes in the future!

This will be available on May 9th.

I went into this with significantly different expectations than the reality of what I got. I guess I was expecting that I would get something closer to a more literary experience than the eat pray love-esque rom com the author ended up giving me. I started tuning out at about the time the man stalking her was portrayed as romantic and at a certain point just subtituted in a mental image of Sebastian Stan any time he was mentioned. By the time we got to the low key homophobia I was actively rolling my eyes. And by the time we got the cliche as hell "death should affirm life" trope I was pounding at the bit to be done. Ended up not being for me.

Many thanks to NetGalley and the Publisher for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

This was a well written book about the art of dying. I loved how it tackled a more unique subject matter in a thoughtful and meaningful way. The one thing that bothered me was her age and “inexperience”. I think if she was younger, it would have made more sense. Regardless, I enjoyed the charters and the sentiments. It’s a great read!

The Collected Regrets of Clover is a beautiful, funny, heartwarming, and interesting debut novel. Clover is a death doula who seems to be far more comfortable with the dying than with the living. Through new relationships with the grandson of a client and a new tenant in her building, as well as an old relationship with her elderly best friend, she slowly learns to embrace life and stop living in the past and dwelling in her regrets.

This book is a breath of fresh air. The writing is descriptive and makes the characters come to life. I loved watching Clover grow and change throughout the book. Her journey is inspiring and exciting.

Clover Brooks is a death doula in New York City. This wasn’t her original career path, yet there’s a reason she doesn’t want people to die alone. Guilt, past trauma and loneliness have plagued Clover, until she decides it’s time for a change. Opening her heart to new friendships and love might be risks. However, her new client Claudia has her thinking that risks are better than regret. This leads Clover on a road-trip to help Claudia with some unfinished business. The Collected Regrets of Clover discusses love, loss and the fear of living an unfulfilled life.
 
Review
I was interested in reading The Collected Regrets of Clover because bereavement was the central focus of the novel. Loss is discussed and death takes place, yet it isn’t for shock value. Mikki Brammer wrote these moments to honor the character’s impact on protagonist Clover. As much as I connected with the message this story conveyed, it didn’t grab my attention until halfway through the book. Towards the end the pace and storylines picked up. Since the road-trip was the focus of the synopsis, I would have loved for it to have a larger role in the novel.

Publication Date May 9, 2023
Thank you Netgalley and St. Martin’s Press for the ARC ebook in exchange for an honest review.

Five stars with tears in my eyes!!! The Collected Regrets of Clover follows Clover, a death doula in New York City, on her journey of self-discovery and grief. She provides comfort and helps them come to terms with the end of their life so they are not alone as they pass. After each person, Clover files their last words into one of three categories: advice, confessions, and regrets.

In every aspect other than her career, Clover feels quirky and misplaced. Growing up as an only child who lost her parents, her one connection was her grandfather. He passed away, but Clover truly never processed her grief. She struggles to maintain friendships and her social anxiety holds her back from being fully engaged in her own life. Her own grief and regrets hold her back and isolate her in a city so full of people and life. Can she process her grief and build a life she really wants?

Mikki Brammer's debut novel left a lasting impression on me - I highlighted so many passages that I know will stick with me for years to come. I became attached to Clover as a character and her perspective resonated with me as a reader. Her journey as a character was touching, as she found people who understood and appreciated her on her journey to overcoming her own regrets and grief. The Collected Regrets of Clover was beautifully written; I'm excited to reread and read future books by Brammer!

"Grief plays tricks on you that way - a familiar whiff of cologne or a potential sighting of your person in a crowd, and all the knots you've tied inside yourself to manage the pain of losing them suddenly unravel."

"One young creative life blossoms as another one ends; there was something beautiful about the tenuous reality of being human."

Thank you to NetGalley, St. Martin’s Press, and Nikki Brammer for an eArc to read and review with my own thoughts and opinions!

hank you to @us.macmillin, #StMartinsPress and #NetGalley for a digital ARC of #TheCollectedRegretsofClover. The opinions expressed here are entirely my own.

The concept of this book intrigued me. The protagonist - 36 year old Clover - is a death doula in New York. She makes a living helping people prepare for their death. Sounds like a heavy topic, but the author does a really good job of talking about preparing to die in a very honest and almost comforting way. And for me, that is the highlight of this book.

Yet, I almost abandoned this book less than 20% in. I just didn't connect with the characters in any way. I think Clover is meant to be quirky and socially awkward, but she's just sad. Her life has been negatively impacted by deaths in her own family. As a result, she lives a very lonely, isolated life by choice. The story unfolds predictably and Clover gets her "happy-ish" ending, but I just didn't care.

It looks like I'm in the minority with my opinion on this book. Overall, it was OK. Not sure I would recommend it.

A rare gem !
This book treat a difficult subject without being sad or too heavy. The writing is really excellent I could quote half of the book !! No stereotypes or cliché, so relatable. I really recommend it either you just want a good book or something on grief specifically.
I feel really grateful to have discover this book thanks to netgalley in exchange of an honest review.

Warning this book should come with a free prescription for Lexapro. I have never been so depressed while reading than in this book. There are types of "Sad Reading" that we all love, you know the ugly cry kind.Think Love Story, A Walk To Remember, Titanic, where you have a pint of Ben and. Jerrys (wait scratch that--Edy's Cookies N Cream) sweat pants, messy bun alone on a Friday night let it all out sister.
BUT this is the type of read that was just gloom and doom for 95% of the book, it was so morbid. I give this book two stars (I would give it 1) if it were not for Hugo. Clover the protaganist whole life has been surrounded by death and people (including her parents) who were incapable of love. I couldnt help but feel tragically sad for her. Her job a "death doula" -could have made for a cool quirky read as I thought i was promised-- instead the author took this down a deep cliff. I felt no passion from Clover. She was just a "dud", no emotion, no life to her. Honestly her dying clients seemed to have more of a life than our Clover.
Don't get me started on Sabastian, I immediately started waing red flags with his inability to know her coffee order (total cliche in a movies and books) His treatment of Clover again, was just what I am going to sum up as what a "Pompous Donkey" --so there.
I was hoping at the end there would be some happy ending in regards to Claudia/Hugo, however again the reader is left with another heaping pile of gloom.
I'm sorry I did not think this was charming in anyway, and frankly I can't wait to get y hands on the cheesiest Hallmark book that I can to pull myself out of this deep state of depression brought on by this book .

Thank you Netgalley and Mikki Brammer for this advanced copy read. I was not influenced for this honest review. These are all my own opinions.

PS DON"T YOU LOVE THE COVER???