The Collected Regrets of Clover by Mikki Brammer is one I will not forget. This was hands down the most beautifully written book I've read in a long time. This is not only a story about death, but a story about LIFE!

Clover, a death doula, spends most of her time either with the dying or by herself. "It wasn't that I was opposed to the idea of friendship; it's just that if you don't get close to anyone, you can't lose them. And I'd already lost enough people." Raised from the age of 6 by her grandfather, who passed away when she was out of the country years ago, Clover still lives in his apartment. Her only friend is Leo, an elderly neighbor who she has known most of her life.

As a death doula, Clover kept journals to document those she has been with while they've died, and kept three notebooks: one for advice, one for confessions, and one for regrets. Perhaps my favorite of the three, Clover would pick one regret and find a way to honor it by working their regret into her life somehow. By doing this, Clover starts to find regrets of her own. In turn, this leads her to slowly open herself up to new friendships and the possibility of romance.

While some of the relationships Clover holds with the dying are quick or more surface-level, the relationship she builds with Claudia is absolutely beautiful. In her relationship, she uncovers so much about herself while helping Claudia during her final weeks on earth. I absolutely loved their bond and the depths Clover went to to for Claudia during her final days.

In some ways, this book helped me understand my own grief over the loss of my father. I found myself highlighting so many parts that I found helpful in my own journey. This is the first book since the death of my father that has brought out this much emotion.

If I could give this book 10 starts, it wouldn't be enough. I have no doubt that this will be one of the top books of 2023!

Thank you to NetGalley, St. Martin's Press and Mikki Brammer for a copy of this ARC and a chance to read this amazing novel.

Clover the Death Doula, was raised by her grandfather after the death of parents. After her grandfather dies, she becomes even more closed off and isolated from the outside world. It takes meeting a dying woman to give her the insight that while helping others gracefully exit this life, she is not truly loving her own life.

This book contained many interesting characters of all kinds. Not a page turner, but a delightful read! I really enjoyed and highly recommend!

This was a very enjoyable read, and is a thought-provoking introduction to the life of a death doula. The writing flowed well, though at times it has an almost YA (Young Adult) feel to its style, which could be off-putting for some.

I will not summarize the book, because I think that is done too often in reviews. The first of this book was a great read. I loved Clover, even if the socially awkward character has been overdone lately. Her grandfather was the person every child should spend time with. I underlined many, many passages to remember to share with my book club when I thought I would recommend the book. Unfortunately, the second half became a Hallmark movie. Every story does not have to have a love conflict or a love story to make it enjoyable. Even the story of the grandmother became a little too sweet. The story would have been very good if it had concentrated on Clover carrrying out the regrets of others. I commend this new author on her first book. It has much to love and beautiful insights into death and dying. My library will buy it, but I will not recommend to readers I know.

A sweet, poignant, and unique novel. Clover is a death doula who has collected the regrets and advice of her patients. Trying to apply their life lessons, she still has a hard time getting out there and living her own life,. I loved the character of Clover: introverted, compassionate, observant, awkward, and I enjoyed seeing her development over the course of the book. If you liked Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine or The Bookish Life of Nina Hill, you'll enjoy this.

I love when I read a book and learn things I didn't know. I am happier when I learn while reading a well written book that tells a fascinating story. This is one of those rare books.

Clover, a death doula, uses her job of sitting with those who are dying, to avoid living her own life. Until a young man named Sebastian hires Clover to sit with his dying grandmother Claudia. These two women help each other in astonishing ways. Clover goes beyond simply sitting with Claudia, and finds a way to bring her happiness and peace in her last two week of life. Claudia, through the life she lived, pushes Clover to find her own life and begin to live

Remarkable writing and a fascinating story make this a book that shouldn't be missed.

You know how sometimes you pick up a book at just the right time and it speaks to you in a way that it wouldn't have any other time?

I taught Lifespan Development for several years, which covers, as we like to call it, from "womb to tomb." Students are always very uncomfortable with the chapter on death, and one of the main themes for discussion is how closed-off our culture is about death. We don't talk about it. We even use language to allude to death rather than confront it head-on ("passed away," "moved on," her "late" husband). There are some amazing nonfiction books about death out there - Caitlin Doughty is perhaps the most well known nonfiction writer about death and death rites. I love what Brammer has done here - novelized the death discussion (perhaps making it more digestable to some?). The MC is a death doula (who knew that was a thing? There's even an international association - INELDA). Of course there is a theme of death, but the overarching message is life, or as the adorable side character Leo says, "a beautiful life." Live your life. On your own terms. That's the message I needed, and the message we all need.

Thank you to NetGalley and St. Martin's Press for the ARC.

A beautiful book about living and dying and what we do in-between. Clover is lovable, an imperfect human dealing with her small life and what she has given away in her grief for so many years. Her heart starts to break open and she finally learns so much as she 'walks' to the end with the dying as a death doula.
Mikki Brammer has given us many lessons through her wonderful characters, People who embodied how life should be lived, Grandpa, Leo, her neighbour, each showed Clover hope, joy and a new way to be in the world.
As with life each day, we see that death is the opportunity to re-think our choices. Using the gift of her opening heart, Clover shares her soul growth with us the reader in the sweetest, loveliest book.
We begin to understand that Life is not simple or easy, but when you choose to surround yourself with the love of others, It is better.

Thank you #NetGalley and #StMartinsPress for this arc for my unbiased opinion. This book is a marvel and will stay with me for the thought provoking words and images of crammed apartments, bustling (but lonely) streets, bookstores with owners that know you, and a shelf with 3 important notebooks.

I look forward to reading more from Mikki Brammer.

Read further thoughts on my blog https://morethanlettersonalinetoday.blogspot.com/2023/01/the-collected-regrets-of-clover-book.html

Magnificent! Inspiring! Thought provoking! Loved this book and would read it again. Clover is in her mid thirties and lives in New York in the apartment she shared with her Grandfather until his death. She is a death doula possibly because she was not with her Grandfather when he died. She is a loner, no friends except for a friend of her Grandfather. She loves just reading in her apartment and rarely leaving the house, except when she has to go to a client. Through her interactions with her clients before they pass, Clover learns some life lessons. She begins to think of a life outside herself. Following her journey was inspirational.
I voluntarily read and reviewed an advance copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

This book is exactly what I wanted it to be. You get sucked into Clover’s singular life. Although she can be a somewhat frustrating character with her lack of willingness to socialize and put herself out there, it is equally heartwarming. Clover learns to let people in, learns to live her life, and learns so much from her clients. Obviously many tears were shed during this book. I think grief and death were written about very beautifully. I loved how earnest and sincere Clover was, rather than a snarky or jaded. The only potential issue I had is that Clover is extremely welltravelled and educated and I think her extreme social anxiety and personally would have been more of a factor in this part of her life.

Thanks to Netgalley and St Martin's Press for providing me a free ARC in exchange for an honest review.

I'm so conflicted about my thoughts on this book because I truly enjoyed it, yet something just felt *off* to me and I can't quite put my finger on what. But I'll try!

This book was an endearing read. The author handled grief and loss, family and love, with such care and skill. Those topics are heavy, and yet the book never felt like a depressing read or experience; rather, it felt like a warm hug from a friend who knows what you're going through. I found it hard to put down!

The writing was strong, the prose felt natural, and the pace was just right.

Here's where I struggled: Something about Clover just didn't add up. Part of me initially wondered whether it was me--am I just OVER the quirky, slightly unhinged, oh-she's-just-different female MC?--but as I kept reading it started to feel like the actions and reactions of the characters around Clover didn't add up to who the character of Clover was that the author created for us.

She's a death doula, right? She talks to people who are in the midst of passing, which takes a certain level of patience and skill, and would teach you a thing or two about having conversations simply by practice--helping alleviate your anxiety of talking to others, illustrating how to carry a conversation, what an average or rewarding conversation looks like, etc. And yet, she's so awkward in her exchanges with people.

She also acts like she believes she's not attractive, and yet nearly everyone she encounters during the course of the book is wooed by her. Clover's inner monologue and POV was completely incongruous with how the characters and the world encountered her.

Based on early reviews, this issue clearly didn't impact other readers, so perhaps it's just me. And like I said, despite that issue, I did still enjoy the book. For the vast majority of readers, it will probably be a lovely read, especially for those who enjoy a slightly awkward main character a la Nita Prose's The Maid, The Very Nice Box by Laura Blackett, and Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine.

Clover is afraid of people. She literally runs from any acquaintance or social situation headed her way whether it's a new person introducing herself in her building, an attendee from a social event, or everyday folks out and about in NYC. Is it because she's afraid of telling them her vocation? Clover is a death doula. If you've never heard of this profession, these are people that help the dying cross over to the other side, consoling them through their last breaths. Clover has done this so far for 95 people.
Cover's parents died when she was young and was raised by her grandfather, who she was very close to. He recently passed away and now she fears she'll have to venture out into the world and make new friends.
Luckily, several circumstances occur that make this easier than she thinks when a client contacts her about helping his grandmother deal with her impending death, and she meets a new friend, Sylvia, who moves into her building.

There are lots of life lessons in this book. Clover realizes that to get something she doesn't have, she'll have to do something she hasn't done before, and become uncomfortable. She takes the advice of several of her patients, as there is no point in a beautiful death if you haven't lived a beautiful life. Clover learns that she needs to help herself just as she does her patients. This leads to friendships, romance, and the reunion of two lovers. This is a very poignant story that brought me to tears several times. You'll fall in love with Clover and want to know what she'll do next!

This story really touched my heart. I was hesitant at first, unsure if I would like a book about a person who was a death doula. (It's a real thing. Look it up.) I imagined that it was going to be dark and sad, but I was soon proven wrong.

Shifting between present day and when she was a little girl, the main character, Clover, helps to usher people forth in death. She keeps journals to document their final ADVICE, CONFESSIONS, and REGRETS. We soon learn that this gentle introvert has regrets of her own. With the help of friends, a therapist, and some introspection, Clover works through some of her own issues and may even find love.

Fans of contemporary fiction and romance are sure to love this story. It is a great debut novel by this author and I will be eagerly awaiting the next one. My sincere thanks to NetGalley and St. Martin"s Press for giving me the opportunity to read and review a digital ARC of this novel. Publication: May 9, 2023.

What a great debut! Clover leads a very solitary life. After the passing of her parents she goes to live with her grandfather. We learn she’s always been interested in death and that makes her somewhat of a pariah at school and in her personal life. My heart definitely ached for her and while I figured the book would show her growth I still was surprised and delighted along the way. This is definitely a slower paced character centered book but I can see a lot of people rooting for Clover when this publishes later this year.

“It frustrated me that society was so determined to quantify grief, as if time could erase the potency of love. Or, on the other hand, how it dictated that grief for someone you knew fleetingly should be equally fleeting.” (Pg. 89)

“The secret to a beautiful death is living a beautiful life.” (Pg. 313)

“And instead of constantly asking ourselves the question why we're here, maybe we should be savoring a simpler truth: We are here.”
(Pg. 318)

I received this book as an ARC from NetGalley. I know we are never supposed to judge a book by its cover.. but who actually listens to that rule? The cover is very aesthetically pleasing and caught my attention right away.

Clover is a death doula who spends the last moments with dying patients... preparing them and educating them on death and what’s to come. She is also there for comfort and companionship for those who have no one... so they don’t die alone. Clover became a death doula because she felt guilty for not being present when her grandpa died.

We follow clover on her self discovery journey. Navigating life in her mid-thirties as she tries to learn how to live her own life, open up, and most importantly... forgive herself.

This was a very touching story that pulled at my heart strings and had me rooting for Clover. I got to know her as a recluse and see her blossom into a new person that made new friends, tried new things, and opened up herself to more possibilities.

A message that was in the story was that death is inevitable. That you can’t live your life in fear of death because all of us die someday and if you live in fear, you aren’t loving your best beautiful life.

I am excited for “The Collected Regrets of Clover” to come out in May. I have already recommended it to a few of my bookish friends!

This was one that was hard to relate to on many levels. I can't picture how anyone, particularly a young person, would choose to isolate for days on end watching RomCom's and not interacting with other people. True, I am more of an extrovert and need interactions with other people, but this story left me scratching my head.

For one thing, it was too long and might have been more enjoyable if it had far less listing of everything on the shelf, in the apartment, you get the idea. Those lists didn't add anything to the story except cause feelings of claustrophobia. Yes, we get the picture. Clover's grandfather left behind a lot of stuff, but that doesn't mean keeping it will do anything useful.

When her folks died when she was 6, she went to live with him in his place and continued to live there after he was gone. I get the ties to the past, but for how many years did she keep his specimen jars? I get that she hated the fact that he died alone, but to spend the rest of her life helping others pass out of this life does not help her to live her own life.

The other characters were not realistic and neither were her ideas of what a real romance would be like if she just uses movies to guide her. A death doula has a specific role to play to help others, but if you are always giving and never taking, you will not be able to continue your role. Clover needed Claudia to show her how to live even as Claudia was dying. Claudia was my favorite character, though I would love to meet Hugo!

Thank you NetGalley for an advance reader copy in exchange for an honest opinion.

4.75 stars

Wow, what a lovely, poignant tale about living, loving and death.

I am not sure if I will be able to adequately put into words my thoughts and feelings, but here it goes.

This book was an incredible slow burn, which means it took time for me to fully engage (after the first few chapters) but was worth the wait and patience. Clover lives a very insular life, and while I understand why she structured her life that way, sometimes her thoughts/actions made me frustrated and wished it wasn't that way. I also felt a great connection to Clover as an introvert and someone with social anxiety. Several of the strategies/techniques she uses to get through her day in a busy place are things I do too, and so I really connected with her anxieties and hesitancy to put herself out there.

I've never heard of a death doula before, but I love the idea, especially for Clover. I really appreciated the frank conversations and inner monologues about death, grief and what it's like to really live a full and beautiful life. I also appreciated the recognition that this looks different for everyone and how Clover understood and emphasized this. I highlighted many passages as I was touched by them and the reflections they sparked within me. I also loved that Clover had the journals and tried different things based on the people she met and assisted. I think that the conversations about death were handled extremely well and respectfully, and I liked that we had a glimpse into how other cultures view death and dying.

I loved Leo and Sylvie and would definitely read a book (or novella) about their adventures and/or building gossip (bodega cat drama!!!). It took a while to really get to the heart of the story/plot, and I wish it had come a bit sooner so that later relationships and the ending could've been developed a bit more. I wouldn't necessarily categorize this as a romance, but some romantic pieces were important to the story.

Overall though, I highly recommend this book. It was beautiful, refreshing and poignant. An incredible debut and an author to watch.

I just finished reading The Collected Regrets of Clover  and I am wondering how a book about a death doula can be so charming. Throughout the story we can see Clover change from social awkward woman to someone who come to terms with her life up to that point and opens herself to the possibilities and to trust in herself.
I highly recommend.

I absolutely loved this book and could not put it down. It is a very unique and fascinating read that deals with a profession I knew very little to nothing about. It is beautifully written and the author has you feeling every emotion. Highly recommend!

Thank you to net galley for the arc in exchange for an honest review.

*Thank you Net Galley for the advance copy of this book.

I had never heard the term "death doula" before this book. As someone who personally is a bit scared of death and dying, this book really helped me look that fear square in the face. The main character, Clover, has had an interesting life, seemingly surrounded by death from young on, and the book follows her through a journey of self-discovery and understanding—and ultimately, heaps of personal growth—all while exploring the concept of death, family, and how to build relationships of all kinds as an adult. Maybe it deserves 5 stars, I'm not sure; maybe I'm still grappling with the book's concept. I will say, while the writing didn't 100% wow me, I did really like the story. I've never read anything like it.