This is a very valuable resource for women, especially those who are feeling burnout, excess stress, and a general feeling of being unfulfilled. A lot of these feelings stem from unmet, and sometimes even unacknowledged, needs. Generally speaking, women aren't encouraged to have needs, let alone to pursue getting them met. The author skillfully breaks down how we're inundated almost from birth with expectations to deny our needs, push them down in order to serve others, and to think of ourselves as bad for even having them in the first place. It felt so very validating to have lifelong messages I've received put into words and called out.

After defining why women tend to have unmet needs, the author then tackles the prevailing concept of self-care. They rightfully examine the folly of somehow being able to overcome a lifetime in a society that expects women to please others and stay undemanding with foot baths and hot yoga. What we currently call "self-care" is just another set of tasks for women and one more thing to feel inadequate about.

Where I felt this was a little lacking was when it came to what to actually DO about the problem. They advocated for radical self-acceptance, boundaries, and honest communication, but it felt like the advice dried up a bit after "acknowledge that you have needs." Some exercises to help get to that point would have been helpful, as well as more examples of how women implemented these ideas in their lives. That being said, this is still something every women would benefit from reading and I highly recommend picking it up!

Many thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for the opportunity to read and review!

This is a very important book for women to read these days. I am already thinking of friends to whom I want to gift this book. Nancy Colier does an fabulous job of breaking down why women are constantly trying to please others, diminish themselves to avoid inconveniencing, and how they feel overwhelming levels of guilt and shame for daring to think of their own needs. It really is exhausting, and Colier deals with these themes in a gentle straightforward manner. The notion of self care and its industry is focused on for the last half of the book. It was eye opening. It was great to read an analysis beyond the many think pieces that have cropped up these last few years. I do wish there had been mention of the pandemic because that’s a whole new twist to why women are so emotionally exhausted and why a simple spa treatment or shopping spree won’t solve everything. I enjoyed the cases interspersed throughout the book and related all too well to most of them. In fact, I want to go back and reread just so I can highlight meaningful statements! What I also appreciated was how Colier offers solutions and steps to learning how to find yourself. There were times I felt like I was communicating with my old longterm therapist, which says a lot for the care and thought she put in this book. I highly recommend.
Thank you to NetGalley and New Harbinger Publications for kindly providing an ARC for my honest review.

Thank you to the publisher and to NetGalley for this arc in exchange for an honest review.

This book tackles a very real and present problem women face. I found a lot of great advice peppered within the book, but I had to dig for it through A LOT of story examples.

WOW every female needs to read this . This book is the messaging that young girls need to be taught at school and those of us that missed out need to get caught up ASAP.

Nancy Colier explains exactly why women are feeling emotionally exhausted and feeling imprisoned within a cage.
Thankfully she also gently teaches us that the door to the cage in fact opens inwardly and that the way out is to dump all the rubbish society tells us we need and start listening to our inner knowing for once and for all.

By paying attention to ourselves and accepting our true reality we can begin to give ourselves what we truly need. This was incredibly powerful for me. Dropping the blame , the guilt , the one days ……… and allowing us to feel exactly what we feel, understanding our truth and not only celebrating all the wonderful things / people we have but also giving ourselves permission to grieve what we don’t have.

Nancy Colier also examines the more common limiting beliefs women often share, This chapter was incredibly useful , giving understanding of how we may have been conditioned to think and how we can move forward to more helpful thoughts.

The overarching message is that self-care must come from within. Although society would like us to believe that finding that correct diet, exercise program, day spa, beauty regime, will be the solution to everything, this is Not the case.

Intrinsically I believe we all know these things. We know that outer self care is a band aid, we know that we need to listen to ourselves and believe in our inner truth. And yet here we are.

This fabulous book really captures how and why it is so important to trust our inner knowing and that that journey is more rewarding than any other way of being ever will be. I cannot recommend this fabulous book highly enough. Please order your copy now and one for your friends. This is one to highlight madly and keep close.

Thank you Nancy Colier, New Harbinger and NetGalley for an ARC in return for my honest review .

With over 100 highlights in this book, Colier did an amazing job at articulating what so many women are going through. In the times we live in, where women are expected to do it all by society, Colier makes you feel like it is ok to take a step back and take care of yourself. Broken down in an easy-to-read format, Colier doesn't tell the reader what they need to do, but rather how to recognize what they need in order to prevent exhaustion. I wasn't expecting this to be as impactful as it was, but, I will recommend this to all women in my life in every season.

Thank you to the publisher via Net Galley for this advanced read to review.

I think every woman ought to read this book. I hope every woman that reads this book will gift it to another because it is a gift. It’s a self help book quite unlike most others I’ve read in that rather than give you advice on what you ought to do (which can sometimes in itself feel like a chore) this book shows you how to delve a bit deeper to discover what YOU actually need.

As women who are often putting others before ourselves sometimes we think self care is just finding time for a bath or a night on the sofa watching trash tv without having to look after anyone else and while yes that can be glorious, there’s so much more that we can give to ourselves and this book explores what that might be and how we go about expressing our needs once we know them. I think so many of us don’t pause to reflect on the roles we play for people and how that impacts our energy. How different could your life feel if you were able to consider your own needs and advocate for them? This book is a stepping stone towards whatever that life looks like for you.

It is becoming more and more common for women to start taking care of themselves instead of just all the people around them. This book gives some interesting ways to think about the roles we play and expressing what we want.

I wasn’t sure on starting this but as it went on a few things just jumped out.
Mindfulness and looking after yourself is usually a bath or a walk, this book gave lots of examples of peoples lives and ways to do it differently. How to look at you and work out what’s best for you.
It’s not a big book but it’s clearly labelled and was a good read.

I think pretty much every woman needs to read this. Has a lot of great advice, and it made me feel seen and heard without having to say anything at all

Thank you to the publisher via Netgalley for this Read Now title to read and review.

Lots of quotable lines to be found. This seemed fairly well-laid-out with the sections/ chapters dedicated to the different aspects of "needs" and "beliefs"
First is explained why women don't ask for what they need, judgements & labels; things like needy, high maintenance, etc.
Next, ways family dynamics and upbringing impact asking for help or how women view their own needs in adulthood
Core Beliefs: I found this chapter quite insightful. Laid out are core beliefs as to how the world is viewed and things women believe as to why they shouldn't have needs. Things like fairness, "shouldn't I be happy with what I do have," not being deserving of what they need, their own needs shouldn't come before the needs of others, denial, etc.
Self care, the history of self care. I really loved "self care is not working" and "we're buying well-being but our beings are unwell" those really hit. As did the mention that self care has become another "should" and something else to add to the to-do list.
Which then leads into the author's thoughts on self care that it needs to come from within. I enjoyed that chapter. and finally, some advice on how to proceed in your own life.
I enjoyed the stories interspersed in as it gave a "real life" aspect to most of the ideas the author was explaining.

The Emotionally Exhausted Woman by Nancy Colier is one of the most useful self-help book that is NOT like other self-help books. It doesn’t tell you what to do, it tells you how to realise what you actually need.

I did not expect this book to “wow” me this much— I’ve probably highlighted every other page. Therapist and spiritual teacher Colier has, in a small number of pages, shed light on so many ways women burden themselves with the ideals that we have set in our minds; ways that seem so small, yet have such a profound impact on our emotional health and wellbeing. She did this wonderfully by giving examples of women, most of whom were her patients.

It also shed light onto the $11 billion (!!!! And estimated to grow exponentially) self-care industry that reminded me so much of that image where someone sticks a bandaid onto a cracked concrete floor.

I can definitely seem myself gifting this book to many emotionally exhausted women in my life!

Nancy Colier, who is a therapist and spiritual teacher, lays out a solid argument as to how our culture has societal norms that lead most women to believe that they have to be able to manage all things both and work and at home without complaint and all while being pleasant and smiling. This always needing to be on and sacrificing our needs for others contributes to women feeling emotionally exhausted. Colier provides several examples and insights as to how women are conditioned to feel that they have to act this way.

I thought that the best part of the book was when Colier describes how to become more self aware of what it is that you truly desire, and how each woman is an individual and as such each woman's ideal reality will be unique. Furthermore, each woman is responsible for fostering an attitude that allows them to accept this reality even if it goes against the reality that they feel that they should have. If there is any shortfall in this book I felt that it was in this section. I wish that Colier had expanded this part and spent time giving more examples as to how to discover this reality and how to foster a greater acceptance of it.

The title of this book really hooked me. I was excited to learn ways to conserve my power and feel less exhausted. Reading the book, I actually had to give myself props for NOT buying into a lot of the harmful myths the author unpacks about behavior standards. I felt like I was ahead of the curve just for not being a pushover people pleaser. The book seems like it will help a lot of women and covers the ways female cultural conditioning is toxic to women. However I wish it would have taken an intersectional approach and acknowledged the role of race, sexuality, etc. in women's behavior. Without this it sort of reads like white feminism so I deducted one star for that.

I did not completely finish this book - which is more on me than the author - the structure of this book is more like a perspective challenger as I like to call it. The thought expressed are ones in which I felt were very thought provoking and challenged my perspectives on issues that impact women. A lot of it I already felt was in line with my perspective but again I didn’t ultimately finish the book. The author does a nice job with her writing - it feels similar to having a conversation with someone on this particular topic. I feel like this book comes at a good time as more and more women are facing adversities in society just based on their gender and this book is very validating.

Wow. Just wow.

89 highlights from this book because I loved every little thing in this. I am 100% going to recommend this book to every single woman that I know because I truly believe that every woman needs to read this book by Nancy Colier.

"The cultural narrative goes like this: we are worthy, our needs are valid, and we have every right to express our truth."

This was a compelling read that touched on SO many points that struck close to home for me. Being a psychology minor, I knew I was conditioned to many things growing up, but this book brought to light some conditioned traits I wasn't even aware of.

It's validating and reassuring to see the words that you've thought in your head but have always been too afraid to speak out loud. For every girl, every woman, who has ever thought they weren't good enough, who ever felt that it was their fault for someone else's actions, for someone who sacrificed their own happiness to benefit someone else - this is for you.

Absolutely incredible read. Thank you for this, Nancy Colier. And thank you NetGalley & New Harbinger Publications, Inc. for this ARC!

So helpful and makes you feel more seen. Wish this book has been out when I was younger
Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for providing this ARC in exchange for an honest review. All opinions expressed are my own.

This was good! I was captivated by the title and loved it from the beginning. I think every woman should read this book and feel seen. Some of the information wasn't necessarily NEW but it was impactful to see it all laid out in one place to absorb.

I really, really enjoyed this book and I didn’t realize how much I needed to hear all of this until now. Very helpful.

I felt so understood by this book!!

It's definitely a great read to help put our own actions into perspective - by focusing on ourselves, what can we change to alleviate some of these pressures? We always care about everyone else, but it's ok to prioritize yourself too.

This felt like a read coming from a wiser older sister, and it was really easy to take what was said to heart and think about necessary changes to make.