Secrets of Sex and Marriage is a great resource and conversation starter for married couples who wonder if their sexual relationship is "normal." This book is different from others in that Feldhahn, a social researcher, and Sytsma, a sex therapist, have grounded this work in research they gathered over a three-year period. Its easy to read format includes "8 Surprises That Make All the Difference," each their own chapter. For many couples, communication about intimacy can be difficult. This book is a wonderful springboard toward communicating wants and needs in the sexual relationship as well as sharing areas of struggle and ways to feel more connected to one another.

Shaunti uses her practical, research-based approach to educate us on this important, relevant topic. She and Dr. Systema bring hope and truth to a very sensitive issue that effects all marriages.

I’ve read some of Mrs Feldhan’s earlier books but the addition of Dr Sytsma with this one made all the difference. His experience and perspective took it to a whole new level. This book discusses what the authors found as they surveyed couples about sex. They state right at the beginning they’re going to replace old wrong assumptions with right ones. They use statistics and stories of many couples’ struggles and success, always taking care to emphasize that there is no right formula or right way for everyone. Instead, they try to help a couple connect on a deep level, give them tools and allow the sexual aspect of their marriage to grow. It’s easy to read and practical. Encourages the reader to connect with their spouse. It conveyed to me a genuine desire to help me grow.

My wife and I have been a huge Shaunti fan for nearly 20 years. We often give For Men Only and For Women Only as wedding gifts. Shaunti is able to put into words the things that have been in our hearts that we didn't know how to verbalize. This is another great book that I think every couple should read. All of Shaunti's books have led to great and needed conversations between my wife and I. Our marriage relationship has grown stronger. Our understanding of each other has grown deeper. I am not a big reader but I gobbled down this book so fast! Soooo much good information! I hardly ever leave reviews but I believe this book can truly change your marriage for the better. Thank you Shaunti and Michael! This was a great team-up!

Excellent practical and powerful advice! Sytsma and Feldhahn bring the best of both worlds--sex therapy and social research--to give all couples much to think about, talk about, and try out both in and out of the bedroom.

As a Christian Womens' speaker, I plan to encourage my audiences to purchase, Secrets of Sex and Marriage.
As a teaser, I would mention the Superpower of Passionate Curiosity in Ch. 8 and how it can lead to more erotic sex. We all want that!

The authors unpack how playful, childlike curiosity about our bodies and sexual practices quells anxiety, which we all experience at times. Anxiety is sand in the sexual engine.
Communication is critical to a healthy marriage bed, but most couples feel vulnerable discussing their sexual likes and dislikes. Again, playful curiosity helps neutralizes this awkwardness.
Marriages are as changeable as the people in them. Preferences evolve, including sexual preferences. Have regular conversions about your marriage bed. Show respect to your spouse by asking them what matters most to them. Be curious and be playful about it.
Move from duty to delight. Come to bed with curiosity and childlike wonder about what new delight you might experience with your spouse this time!

The book, Secrets of Sex & Marriage, written by Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn and Michael Sytsma, Ph.D., draws from decades of rigorous research and experience. Michael’s worked as a Christian counselor specializing in sex therapy for married couples for 35 years. The Feldhahns’ research-based relationship books have sold nearly 3 million copies in 26 languages worldwide.

The tone of Secrets of Sex & Marriage is research-informed and direct, yet discreet. There are no detailed descriptions about positions or practices or embarrassing graphics. The authors present their worldview as Christian and biblical, although the book’s tone is not preachy. They target their content to heterosexual married couples.

They ask: Why is sex in marriage important? The answer, “Among couples who are happy with how often they have sex, 94 percent are also happy in their marriage.”

They address misinformation that leaves people believing their (or their spouse’s) level, type of desire, or frequency is wrong, inadequate, or bad in some way.

Their goal is to make sex good for both partners.

One practical suggestion of a small, grace-filled practice that will go a long way. Frame and receive a “no” as “the timing is not right,” not a “no” to you personally. And another: Work out a signal between spouses for how to get things started.

Couples who want to dive deeper, address areas of concern or have interest in leading others can find resources at secretsofsexandmarriage.com, including an assessment, a streaming course for couples, resources for those in need, and tools to help pastors, churches, counselors, and other leaders.

Secrets of Sex and Marriage by Shaunti Feldhahn; Dr. Michael Sytsma is one of the best book I have ever read dealing with sexual problems in marriage. The collaboration between the authors is to be admired. I have used the information this book offers to help the couples that I am currently working with and it has had amazing results. I highly recommend this book for counselors and couples. I plan on making it required reading for the couples that are currently in session.

I learned a good bit out myself and my husband
with this book. We have been married for 38 years and enjoy a healthy sex live. But there is alway room for improvement and growth. We plan to include the reading, discussion and practice of ideas discovered in this book with our future date nights. As always, Shaunti, a fun and educational read.

I thoroughly enjoyed Secrets of Sex and Marriage. I can't wait for the book to be released so that I can give copies to others. I have a great marriage, but who wouldn't want a better one? I used the book as a discussion starter with my husband and he agreed, the research and suggestions are sound Biblically and culturally. We need more resources like this book in our churches to better our marriages, families, and culture through sound Biblical teaching. But even if you are not a church-goer, this book has many helpful myth-busters that I wish I had know long ago.