Member Reviews

This is a memoir focused on the need to find friendship after meeting a life partner. I like the idea of it but the story -- besides the core relationship with the author's recovery mentor, which is meaningful and lovely -- did not connect with me.

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LISTENED ON AUDIO

Thank you NetGalley and Simon & Schuster for gifting me this review in exchange for an honest review.

I picked this book up because I thoroughly enjoyed her memoir GROUP. I wasn't sure what to expect because a memoir about friendship maybe means we are going to talk sunshine and butterflies. But we didn't. We discussed uncomfortable and realistic issues surrounding friendships, especially among women. There are parts of this book that I don't feel like I relate with Christie, but that doesn't mean I didn't find similarities.

This book really makes you take a step back to examine your friendships. We spend so much time talking and or going to therapy over our romantic relationships we forget how complex and how much work our platonic friendships require. And sometimes, just like romantic relationships, there's a time to just let go.

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I loved Christie Tate's first book and this follow up was just as good. I completely related to the author's relationships and interactions with other women. I appreciated her honesty about her insecurities and jealousies and her insights helped me to reevaluate the way I look at my friendships. I look forward to whatever Tate writes next.

Thanks to Avid Reader Press, S&S and NetGalley for the copy to review.

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I loved this follow up to Group. The author writes about her difficulties with her female friendships told in the context of her best friend Meredith who is ill. A beautiful tribute to her friendship as well as a story of personal growth.

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BFF by Christie Tate is a powerful and moving memoir that explores themes of friendship, mental health, and self-discovery. Tate's writing is honest and raw, as she shares her struggles with anxiety, depression, and disordered eating, as well as her journey towards healing and self-acceptance. The relationships between Tate and her friends are at the heart of the book, and the author's vulnerability and openness about her struggles with intimacy and connection make this a poignant and relatable read. The themes of self-discovery and growth are woven throughout the book, as Tate learns to set boundaries, prioritize her own needs, and build healthier relationships. The book is also a tribute to the power of therapy, as Tate shares how her experiences with therapy and group therapy helped her to heal and grow. Overall, BFF is a compelling and inspiring memoir that will resonate with anyone who has struggled with mental health or relationships, and it is a testament to the transformative power of vulnerability and connection.

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I really enjoyed how the author dig into her relationships and how they shaped who she was and how they impacted her. It was real and it was raw. Thank you #NetGalley for the opportunity to read this in exchange for the fair and honest review.

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Thanks to #netgalley for the ARC in exchange for a fair and honest review. As a person with few lifelong friendships and someone who has always kept their friendship circle very small, I was drawn to the tile of this book...a memoir on friendships...don't mind if I do! I went into it pretty blind and hoping it wasn't going to be all warm and fuzzy and unrelatable and I am happy to say it wasn't. Christie takes us through several friendships she has experienced in her life and I found this to be a very relatable and engaging read. I loved how she wrote about the difficulties of it, the messiness and the joys of it.

It was reassuring to me that I am not the only one who has an inability to keep friends long-term, and how jealousies and resentments, weaknesses and vulnerabilities can appear from either sides of the friendship and cause it to break down. The story centers on her friendship with Meredith, twenty years her senior, who she meets through a twelve step group. The two of them gradually develop a friendship, and endeavor together to work on being a better friend. It's rewarding to see them grow together, to see this more unusual friendship blossom, and to see Christie get to be there for the hard times through Meredith's death.
I enjoyed how we got to see Christie's patterns in her friendships and how she orchestrated or contributed to their demise at times. It was heartbreakingly honest about her struggles with self-esteem and how they have lead to her to walking away from people who care about her. I loved seeing her growth and how she set about to change these negative behaviours. This book helped me to think about my own friendships throughout my life and lessons I have learned along the way. Its one of those books where I found myself nodding along, having lightbulbs go off in my own head, laughing and also reading with tears dropping onto my Kindle as she talks about her final times with Meredith and how much she still misses her. This is one of those memoirs that stays in you head and your heart, long after the last page. #bffamemoirorfirnedshiplostandfound #christietate #tea_sipping_bookworm #goodreads #netgalley #litsy #thestorygraph #memoir #kindle #amazonaustralia #bbokqueen #bookstagram

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This is a very personal look at a woman’s past and present female relationships. The book begins with one of her closest friends dying and how that friend helped her do better with her friendships. We get a look at perhaps why the author has had a hard time with friendships, we see her through awkward/cringey interactions with women she envies and we see her try to make good ok promises she’s made her former bff. This book made me think a lot about my own relationships and I had a lot of similar interactions with other women. Who among us haven’t been ostracized, felt insecure in a female relationship, felt envy or like they were a crap friend. That said I’m not sure someone’s own experiences like these are that enthralling to listen to or read for hours on end. I really like this subject and I’m not sure what would have made it more interesting but it was kind of just ok for me. I do really applaud how open the writer is and I do think women should talk more about how we “friend”.
3.5 stars

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B.F.F. is a great memoir about friendships, and how often our own thought patterns can ruin them. I liked hearing about the author's previous friendships and analysis of them. It was sad at times, but overall very relatable.

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I literally told everyone I knew to read Group and it was one of my top reads of 2021. So when I scooped this up on Netgalley I was jazzed. And I loved the nuances of the different female friendships however I found it really sad at times. Tate really struggled with her own thought patterns which affected her friendships and it was hard to read about at times. As someone who has solid female friendships, I also found it hard to relate to at times. Love Tate nonetheless and was happy I read this one!

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A memoir of the author’s friendships with Meredith While she revisits all her past friendships from her entire life.
Tate is my age so I could relate to her friendship woes and angst when she was younger.
One of my observations from the book is that she was sometimes her own worst enemy in her friendships.
I’m glad she had Meredith to lean on.
Friendships ebb and flow. Having a few solid, loyal friends are better than a pack of superficial ones.

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Writing: 4/5 Plot: 4/5 Characters: 5/5
This humorous and insight-rich memoir focuses on the author’s work on forming and maintaining female friendship — something that has been problematic for her for some time. The journey is immersed in the Recovery (12 step) world — a world I have no personal exposure to (except through the hilarious sitcom “Mom”) — but I found it pretty easy to pick up the vocabulary and principles. Despite that, I resonated a lot with her inner turmoil and suspicions and enjoyed the frank and honest way she progressed to a place where she could improve. It occurred to me that those of us who don’t have specific problems with any of the 12-step addictions could definitely benefit from the precepts and processes of these programs.

The narrative centers around a particularly strong friendship that she forms with Meredith and progress she makes with several previously close friends where the friendships ended one way or the other without resolution. I enjoyed her open self-analysis and her successes, and I liked the focus on friendships (one character pointing out that “All the tools for romantic relationships work for friendships”). There were parts that made me cringe and get judgmental, and that was instructional, too.

Some acronyms of recovery (new to me and I liked them):
KISS (keep it simple, sweetie)
ODAT (one day at a time)
FEAR (false evidence appearing real)
SHAME (should have already mastered everything)

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I enjoyed Christie Tates first book Group and her latest BFF completely drew me in.I can relate to the difficulty of female friendship of making and keeping friends as we get older.This is open moving emotional a really moving read.#netgalley #avidreaderpress.

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Christie Tate, author of the bestseller “Group”, is back for more soul searching in this new offering. In “B.F.F.”, Tate is brave and vulnerable and forthcoming as she reveals her lifelong pattern of hurting and being hurt by friends.

Where “Group” chronicled her journey to understand the reasons she made consistently bad choices in romantic partners, “B.F.F.” is focused on friendship. Specifically female friendship, as friendships with men are not mentioned in this book. This book is about girlfriends past and present.

The primary friendship in the story is with Meredith, an older woman Tate gets to know at twelve-step groups the two attend. Meredith suggests to Tate that they both need to address issues around friendship, and their work together is the core storyline of “B.F.F.”.

Tate, under the guidance of Meredith, delves into her history of female friendships that didn’t last. We learn about her family, her childhood, and the friends she made and lost along the way to becoming the person she is today.

Tate is honest about her role in the demise of these relationships. Some, but not all, of the rifts were caused by Tate. When the going got tough, she nearly always chose to run away from the friendship. She sometimes abruptly and completely ghosted the person with whom she had been so close.

Meredith is the star and the heart of the story. She is a generous mentor to Tate, and she models, through their own relationship, how to be a good friend. Meredith is kind and compassionate and forgiving, and her steadfast support teaches Tate to trust.

Meredith patiently listens as Tate recounts her friendship issues, and Meredith gently but firmly questions Tate’s assumptions and challenges her to face the truth and to change the way she thinks about and acts toward her friends.

There are brief cameo appearances by Dr. Rosen from “Group” and by some of the participants in his group therapy sessions.

If you liked “Group” and “Maybe You Should Talk to Someone” you will enjoy reading “B.F.F.”. Whereas “Group” made me want to immediately start group therapy, “B.F.F.” made me want to call my own best friends and to send them each a copy of this book. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️, available on February 7, 2023.

My thanks to the author, Christie Tate, to the publisher, Avid Reader Press / Simon & Schuster,and to NetGalley for providing me a copy of this book.

#BFF #netgalley #avidreaderpress #simonandschuster

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I was often disturbed while reading Tate's first book "Group" because of all of the ethical lines that her therapist crossed which Tate did not seem to notice. The therapist is still present in this book and I was still disturbed by that situation but group therapy plays a minor role in this book. If I focus on the friendship piece of the book, this was a good read. I think we've all made mistakes in friendships and this book might have you reexamine some of those mistakes and perhaps make some changes. Tate is open and raw in telling her story (and more reflective than she was in "Group".)

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I would like to thank Avid Reader Press and Net Galley for the opportunity to read this book as an ARC. This was an unusual book. It is a first person memoir about friendships, making them, keeping them and losing them.Christie Tate has written a previous book, Group, about her experiences in group therapy. This is a sequel of sorts, taking her into another phase of self exploration- of her relationships with her female friends, which one worked and which didn't. The catalyst for this was a friendship with a woman named Meredith. Meredith was older than Christie and in one of her groups. They formed a bond, and Meredith encouraged Christie to do the work on her female friendships, as well as her other issues. The book covers a lot of time in Christie's life and we see the changes which come slowly as she cautiously lets her friendships flourish. It is thought provoking, and honest. It is funny, sad , heartbreaking and raw. Some parts are not easy to read, but it is real.

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The story centers around the author's friendship with Meredith 20 years her senior. How their friendship changed and transformed her. She shares her journey from the moment they meet till the very end.
The memoir is an exploration of womanhood, friendship, sisterhood, motherhood, love, loss, and grief.
The author expresses this throughout the entire book her efforts and struggles with friendship and making friends. Her problems with forming relationships and how our surroundings, our past relationships, and exes can affect us and our lives and the ability to build healthy and normal friendships and relationships.

I found myself relating to the author many times throughout the book. I know what it is like to have no friends coz of past relationships and abusive boyfriends.
How one low self-esteem and anxiety can separate them from the whole world.

If you are a fan of Non - Fiction books you should give this book a try.

Happy reading
Xoxo

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I loved this book.
I would like to interview Christie Tate for my Spotify Podcast and the Jewish Journal.
I wrote about GROUP for Thrive Global.
Thank you so much
Lisa Niver

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From the author of the book “GROUP”, BFF is a memoir in which the author shares her lovely, deeply meaningful and loving friendship with a woman 20 years older than she is as well as her other friendships and family relationships. Tate describes raw personal feelings and her journey with therapy and Groups to have a more meaningful and full life. I found myself nodding my head throughout as everyone can relate in some way to friendships gone left and then righted again with hard work and soul-bearing inner work. This would make a really good book discussion choice - lots to discuss and share. Thanks to Avid Reader Press / Simon & Schuster for the advanced copy. It was lovely.

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This memoir by Christie Tate is a testament to female friendships in all their complexity. Tate covers the pitfalls, the joys, and the importance of deep, long-lasting relationships. The author's varied experiences with her friends create a backdrop with a variety of texture: some friendships are easy, some happen in a minefield of misunderstanding between two flawed, human people.

But similar to Group, Tate's strength is her raw vulnerability. Her willingness to tell the truth is what makes this book tender, relatable, and valuable. A book that will leave readers inspired to do the work (and Tate demystifies what it means to do that work).

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