I wasn't able to finish this book in full — I found it challenging to get into. It felt repetitive, maybe too long and it just didn't speak to me. I couldn't connect with the author, though I recognize that friendship is such a personal thing that it's entirely possible that I'm just not the right audience for it.

Just as she did in her first book, Group, Tate keeps it very real in this book, her “Memoir of Friendship Lost and Found.” Her approach to female friendships is, at times, chaotic, messy, jealousy-fuelled, even ugly, but her self-reflection, growth and vulnerability are a gift to readers everywhere. This is not a non-fiction book intended to detail the social science behind friendships, but a memoir written by someone who does friendship differently than it is portrayed in movies and on tv. And it felt to me like it was written with those of us who also stray from the established expectations for female friendships in mind.

B.F.F. focuses closely on Tate’s relationship with Meredith, a friend from recovery, but it also provides an examination of her friendships throughout her entire life. I paused to consider my own experiences through the process of hearing those of Tate and her circle and I think I even learned a few things about how I’d like to be as a friend going forward.

This book is a beautiful ode a friendship and a reminder of all that friends bring to our lives. I laughed, I cried and I seriously reflected on my own imperfect approach to friendship and how it has been both a balm and a burden at different times in my life.

Thanks to Simon & Schuster Canada and NetGalley for giving me access to my early digital copy.

After reading Group: How One Therapist And A Circle Of Strangers Saved My Life by Christie Tate last year, I jumped at the chance to read her next book, B.F.F.: A Memoir Of Friendship Lost And Found. This memoir will stand out to me in a few ways.

First, Tate puts in the time with therapy and support groups, and as she processes one relationship, there is always another that needs to be worked on. Her words reminded me that the age old belief of how life will be better at the next milestone, just simply isn't true. It's sometimes hard to remember this as we look at others highlight reels, but we live in the real world, and not in a fairy tale, and the grass is not always greener on the other side. As a firm believer in therapy, I know there will always be work that needs to be done in all aspects of life.

Second, although Tate at times has an idealized view of friendships and a desire to save all her past relationships, I think it's also important to know that some friendships simply fade. Your interests change as you age, mature and grow, and the person you were in grade school is not the same person you are now. You can't expect every friendship to withstand the test of time. I don't think we should always feel the urge to bring back friendships that have reached their expiration date.

Lastly, as much as this memoir is about friendship, in particular just how hard female friendships are, this book was about grief to me. Grieving past lost friendships, grieving a friends passing, grieving who you were and who you thought you should be at this point in your life.

I really love Tate's approachable writing style. It is exactly what drew me in with Group, and I think this really is the biggest appeal for me in her work. I enjoy the swears, and the real-life way she writes. This lends me to believe this is the type of no-BS friend that Tate is, and the reason that her friendship with Meredith grew and evolved the way it did. Their friendship takes on an even deeper role, as Meredith is diagnosed with a terminal illness.

I could relate to this aspect of Tate's friendship with Meredith, as someone who has been that final phone call from a friend. Something that Tate's husband John said to her "It's also a privilege." struck me in the heart so deeply. It is beyond a privilege to sit at someones bedside, welcomed into being part of their last moments.

I will continue to read anything that Tate writes.

Thank you NetGalley and Simon & Schuster Canada for the complimentary copy to read and review.

I was intrigued by this memoir by Christie Tate because of the title. Friendship is something we can all relate to.

This book was raw to the core, dealing with a lot of issues like grief, illness, post-partum depression, eating disorders, and more. I appreciated the way that Christie was able to tackle all of these issues while still staying true to the entire message of the book - friendship. How do you walk with a friend through her cancer journey? How do you become a good, true friend to someone? How do you work through jealousy, contempt, and anger towards well-meaning people in your life? She handled it all beautifully.

It's impossible not to reflect on your own friendships throughout your life when reading this book. Much needed.

A steady character in this book is Meredith, who Christie meets at a recovery meeting and slowly learns to love. Because of Christie's many failures in friendships, she is hesitant to befriend Meredith but throughout the memoir, we get to see their friendship flourish 💓.

Even at the end of the book when Meredith is faced with her diagnosis, Christie has grown so much but yet still doubts her ability to be a good, selfless friend to Meredith during this time. She's real, honest, and vulnerable - all the things that make a memoir great.

Thanks so much to Net Galley and Simon & Schuster Canada for an eARC of this book in exchange for my honest review 💖