This memoir is about an actual cult, growing up in one and leaving it. The author was raised in the religious The Children of God cult, as the daughter of high ranking members. If you haven't heard of this cult before (I hadn't until I read Sex Cult Nun), the amount of awfulness masked under the love of god knows no limits (please check trigger warnings). Hearing these made my jaw drop. Mestyanek Young also outlines her life after the cult, once she's joined the army and describes how, in so many ways, the army is similar to a cult (which i found fascinating and almost more uncomfortable to think about).

I can't imagine how the author was able to write this and I can't even begin to understand what the healing process for her is like. All I can say is I'm glad she's worked herself toward freedom and glad she shared her story. I love memoirs narrated by the author and the audio for this one was no exception.

Thank you MacMillan Audio and NetGalley for the ALC.

3.5* This is a hard one to review. I am so sorry to Daniella Mestyanek Young for the abuse she endured. She was remarkably resilient considering all she lived through.

I am so moved by the awful experiences Daniella Mestyanek Young went through. My heart hurt for her. The book begins with her living on at a large cult compound for The Children of God with her parents. The joy of childhood has been robbed from these children. It was shocking the level of abuse that occurred. Daniella learns that people outside The Family, as her cult is called, can not be trusted. So, that leaves inside, and every bad occurrence means the person somehow did something against God. Daniella never felt safe, every day she wakes up scared and knows she will be beaten and possibly sexually abused by different Uncles. These are the people who are supposed to love and protect her and all the children.

She is constantly moving in California, then to Mexico where she is begging for money on the street. It is a life filled with constant chaos. Finally, at 15 years old she has the insight to realize the people she is listening to are just liars.

This is where I thought the book dragged. Daniella decides to join the Army. I do think she had a good story to relate here, but it needed to be condensed. She is picked for Infantry Duty and this is a tough group, especially when there are so few women. The culture seems to allow men to intimidate women, call them derogatory names, and harass them. It is not easy to adopt to. It has been discussed that sexual harassment in the military is a problem. The men warn Daniella that ‘she needs to be careful’ since rape occurs frequently. At one point, Daniella is dating a man and at the end of the relationship he goes into a rage and rapes her. She is livid, but doesn’t tell anyone. She knows it will end her career. I did feel for her, as she has lived with abuse her entire life and thinks if she is strong and tough she will be able to stop the abuse. She feels she has lost all control, yet something inside her fights to be tough and carry on. No one should ever be put in this type of situation. It should not be considered the victim’s fault and that person must change to adapt to assault to keep their career.

Then too many issues come up to figure out. Daniella does not want to sign a paper saying she did not handle a sexual harassment case properly. After all she has gone through, she just can not go along with this. This is understandable and it may well point to a larger problem in the way cases like this are handled. She does have legal assistance and another women’s case is brought in. As a reader, I found this hard to completely follow.

After this, Daniella becomes extremely ill and is at Walter Reed Medical Center. She is having severe physical problems and is there for two months. It seems her body has exhausted itself. So, taking on the horrific abuse of the cult and also how the Military is handling things is more then enough trauma. It should have stopped there. These are enormous topics to explore.

Daniella ends up meeting President Obama and he gives her a Volunteer Service Award. She marries her caring husband, Tom. Both have had military careers. They have a beautiful daughter. Daniella says she and Tom need to always give their daughter safety and love. She is healing by going to groups for cult survivors and military assault victims. She does know abuse is always wrong. So, she is certainly a strong person and I wish her peace. She is correct that she gets to have the say now and decide her own life.

The other messages and topics are a little raw and unfinished. There is not a natural writing flow. It is more just getting all her feelings out and problems groups can cause and honestly that needed some editing. She may have been processing all that happened and is writing it down, but perhaps it needed to wait and then make a more cohesive statement.

Thank you NetGalley, Daniella Mestyanek Young, and Macmillan Audio for an audio copy of this book. I am always happy to leave a review.

The true story of her life growing up in the children of God cult. It was very relatable as I also grew up in a cult. So many similarities. And she also had so much trauma in her life as well. So much abuse and I can't imagine having to have gone through that. Especially the sexual abuse as a child from the adults in her life.
But the strength and resilience of her spirit and how she is able to get an education and leave the group is so inspiring.
To see the growth and to see her attain happiness really helps you see that even though there is no god, there are good people in the world.

I came for the cult and left with the strength of a woman!

First off, this was a fascinating, first hand account of Daniella's life being born and raised in the Children of God religion (cult). She narrates her own book so well and tells of her first memories of "the uncles" and the power that they had over the children and women. It was their job to punish little children and teens for any infractions. The uncles were feared to a point of stress and bedwetting. The culture of the Children of God was sick and upsetting to me with the free reign that men had over women, girls, and their bodies.

Then Daniella pivots in a big way as she leaves and gets out of the cult! So proud of her strength and resilience. I'll limit what I say here for fear of sharing any spoilers, but she goes on to find herself, adjusts her life for her beliefs and continues to find ways that people continue to control her.

This is a great memoir that was an eye opener to me and I'm grateful that Daniella was willing to share her stories so candidly.

Thank you to NetGalley and Macmillan Audio for the advance audiobook.

I received a free copy of this book from the publisher through netgalley.com. I am leaving this review voluntarily.

Wow this book is tough. Born into one of the most famous cults, Daniella grew up in the Children of God missionary. She lived in several countries, Brazil, Mexico and the United States but never really fit in anywhere. Children of God was a sex cult where sex was an act of worship, children were beaten often and sex with children wasn't expressly forbidden until they were questioned by authorities as to why a 13 year old was pregnant.

Daniella's parents and her 14 siblings eventually left the children of God but Daniella left first at the age of 16. She made her way through high school with little to no prior education and went on to college. She never felt that she quite fit anywhere, eventually joining the military. Here she felt more at home since it is run similar to the way she was raised. Don't question, don't make waves or else you get punished. Its a group think.

Just like the Children of God the Military proved to Daniella another place where she had to conform to standards set by men and navigate around them. Women in the Cult were always considered less than and it was the same within the military. Even as she made her way through the ranks as an officer and served in Afghanistan she found that women and men had different standards and codes of conduct. Women were often told to be careful of being raped but the men weren't told not to rape women. This double standard that stems from these patriarchal systems is difficult to navigate and ultimately systems will suffer for it.

I really liked this book and Daniella tells this story in a compassionate and strong voice. She doesn't hide the ugliness of the way she was raised, and she doesn't hide the faults in our military. What does come across loud and clear is how strong and inspirational Daniella is.

TW: sexual abuse, abuse, toxic parent relationship, rape, language, racism, sexism, rape, cancer, cheating

*****SPOILERS*****
About the book:Behind the tall, foreboding gates of a commune in Brazil, Daniella Mestyanek Young was raised in the religious cult The Children of God, also known as The Family, as the daughter of high-ranking members. Her great-grandmother donated land for one of The Family’s first communes in Texas. Her mother, at thirteen, was forced to marry the leader and served as his secretary for many years. Beholden to The Family’s strict rules, Daniella suffers physical, emotional, and sexual abuse—masked as godly discipline and divine love—and is forbidden from getting a traditional education.At fifteen years old, fed up with The Family and determined to build a better and freer life for herself, Daniella escapes to Texas. There, she bravely enrolls herself in high school and excels, later graduating as valedictorian of her college class, then electing to join the military to begin a career as an intelligence officer, where she believes she will finally belong. But she soon learns that her new world—surrounded by men on the sands of Afghanistan—looks remarkably similar to the one she desperately tried to leave behind.
Release Date: September 20th, 2022
Genre: Memoir
Pages: 352
Rating: ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ (I enjoyed the beginning)

What I Liked:
1. Talking about being in a cult
2. How she ties in that the Army is a cult

What I Didn't Like:
1. Why no photos in the book??
2. She's one of those "I have to prove myself" kind of women
3. Hit over your head how sexist the army is

Overall Thoughts:
I wish there were photos in the book. This book really needed them. The author describes things to us but it lacked having that to compare with. There is something about a book that includes photos that almost ties in the book and gives you the idea of what the person lived through. I had to search on Google for photos. Whenever I read a memoir without photos it reminds me of a cookbook without photos.

I would have loved to know how they came to USA. The author skims over how they just showed up in the starts and got social security cards, medical, and into school. I would have liked to know how that all works when her mom hasn't lived in the states since she was 2 years old. I would have loved to hear a little how the mother got into the cult too.

Look I am a woman too but I don't care to hear 1,000 times how much a woman has to feel like she has to prove herself to a man. It gets very annoying and I tend to roll my eyes at women that feel that way. The author makes it a point to beat you over the head that women are just as equal to men in running and combat, but it's just not true. Women are slower (check out the fastest woman compared to a man). To me that’s okay. Why do we as women feel like we have to prove ourselves and try to do what men do? Let’s just accept that we are women and maybe do things differently. I mean when it comes to handling pain as women we definitely can do that better than men can.

Then Daniella tells us that she is sleeping with her lieutenant that is married and could break her career. How am I supposed to feel about her? She complains about being equal and then does the thing that everyone said she would do. Even proving the army wives right when they called out the service women for sleeping with their husbands. You can't complain like a victim when you CHOOSE to sleep with a person that could "break your career". You are not the victim here.

I thought that the part of the army was going to be more compared to how it was a cult with the demands that are similar to her Family, but the chapter felt more about how women are raped and very in your face about how unfair women have it compared to men. I can see how some parts are how she felt (helplessness and women being lower class) in the cult but felt like a bait and switch.

The book has a ghost writer which definitely makes the words come across as hollow and very matter of fact. Details are changed. Not sure if that's locations or just people. It all just felt so surface level. Can you call yourself a writer if someone else wrote your book and you just submitted words to someone else?

I think one of the most fascinating things about cults and when families are raised in it is just how normal it is to let your 5 year old child be sexually abused by a 20-60 year old man because you've been brainwashed that it's for God. It's just so normalized, which I know is the point. Also the fact that you could still love/forgive your parents when you are out of the cult and get over that they allowed the abuse to happen. It's like cults teach people differently how to forgive. I've seen adults today and their parents have done way way less and they need therapy and can never get over it.

Final Thoughts:
I'd say this was just fine. I thought the twist of the army would set apart this from other books but all it did was annoy me. The constant comparisons between men and women to the fact that she felt self-righteous in everything she did. She acted like a victim so much in the army but she was doing the things that she complained about that people said she was doing. Men are sluts when they sleep around and no one is stopping you from calling them that, but you can't act all high and mighty when you're doing it too and say you aren't one also. I mean I don't care sleep who ever you want but don't act like you are better than everyone else.

My issue with the audiobook was some of the words said didn't match what was written. Some of the words and places were change.

Recommend For:
• People who enjoy cults
• Army stories
• Stories of struggles
• Strong women

wow, what a powerful memoir. I loved reading her story of growing up in the Children of God cult, followed by her time in the army. Content warnings abound in this book, but it was beautifully written. I rooted for her all throughout my reading.

Uncultured the audio book is written AND read by Daniella Mestyanek Young. She is a fantastic reader, I felt like a friend of mine was telling me her life story.

Daniella Mestyanek Young' has lived an extraordinary live. The first third of the book describes a fascinating upbringing in Brazil in the cult "The Children Of God." Mestyanek Young's stories of the cult will send chills down your back and also provide more insight on how smaller, lesser known cults operate.

After a traumatic childhood, Daniella escapes the cult and finds herself in the military after completing high school. This new organization shares many similarities to her experience as a child and her experiences as a woman in the military, give light to a broken system. If you like memoirs, stories about cults, or just want to read an incredible story of a strong heroine, Uncultured is for you!
#StMartinsPress #Uncultured #daniellaMestyanekYoung

This is a difficult book to listen to. It's narrated by the author and tells of horrible things she witnessed and experienced as part of a cult in her childhood. You get a deep dive into how a cult operates. The lies that are okay to cover up but otherwise lies are punishable. The things that are expected with elder cult members, but also punishable if done outside the cult.

Heartbreaking and eye opening. And more people need to know this is still happening today.

Defintely need to mention trigger warnings for sexual assault and child abuse.

Daniella is raised in the cult of the Children of God in multiple international communes. She suffers every kind of abuse imaginable until she escapes as a teenager. Her traumatic upbringing bubbles to the surface again in her adult life and she enlists in the army and has to endure basic training.

I loved the vividness of this memoir. It was blunt in its writing style, which really made the reader sympathise with Daniella as she struggled to understand her life growing up. It gives you the full scope of her life, from little child to grown woman. I did find it to be a bit repetitive near the end, but I found this memoir fascinating. I did wish that there was a bit more about how Daniella felt towards her mother as an adult, after she was able to fully comprehend what she was put through. Daniella is a survivor, and I’m glad she decided to share her story.

Daniella's story is harrowing, heartbreaking, and hopeful. Perseverance and survival are strong themes, here. By the end of this book, readers will be cheering Daniella on as she finds her voice and creates her own bit of peace. She has led a very remarkable life and I appreciate her letting readers be a part of that.

This story was very hard to read and listen to. I hated every person in "the family" for all of the horrible atrocities done to these children. It's insane to know these things were happening to kids my age when I was a kid their age and couldn't even imagine them at the time. It's amazing that she was able to continue on and lead a life after this. The author is incredibly brave to tell her story. It's scary to see and hear what people do in the name of religion and this story is a horrible one but one that was important one to know.

Many thanks to NetGalley, St Martin's Press and Macmillan Audio for gifting me both a digital and audio ARC of this amazing memoir by Daniella Mestyanek Young - 5 stars!

Daniella was born into the religious cult, The Children of God, and her family were high-ranking members. The Family, as it is sometimes known, is a thinly-disguised sexual cult, and Danielle lived with constant abuse - mental, physical, and sexual. The family lived in different countries and Daniella had no format education. When she was 15, she fled to Texas, enrolled herself in high school and, against all odds, excelled. She went on to college and was valedictorian before joining the Army to train as an intelligence officer.

In the vein of Educated and The Glass Castle, this is an amazing story of resilience in the face of evil, taking back your power, and owning your body and mind. To be able to accomplish what Daniella has done is nothing short of amazing. She knew early on that what was happening to her wasn't right or normal and kept her brain from succumbing totally to the cult mentality. It was also a powerful connection made to other group mentality issues, such as the military and more traditional religions. The concept that the military breaks you down in order to build you up the way they want also describes cult brainwashing. It also explores the female role in combat and the military, and Daniella was a trailblazer in this arena. This is a story that should be required reading by the powers that be in the military. I mostly listened to the audiobook, because it was narrated by the author, making it even more powerful. Highly recommended!

Gripping, horrifying, and eye-opening, UNCULTURED will leave you wondering just how mixed up people get into cult ideals and how hard it is to leave that mindset.

Well worth the listen - narrated by the author herself. Thank you MacMillan Audio for the gifted listening copy.

An interesting look into cults and the harmful nature of group behavior specifically within the constructs of the military. “Where does a cult end, and a culture begin?”

A powerful survival story that is timely and important.
Note that The Children of God cult is still operating today under the name of The Family International.

**Warnings for triggers of child abuse and sexual assault.

Uncultured is one of the best memoirs I've listened to this year!!! It details Daniella Mestyanek Young's childhood and adolescence growing up as a third generation cult member and her life once she left the Children of God, gained an education, and joined the US army. This story is truly one that needs to be told, and I applaud Daniella for her honesty and courage, even when the content was hard to get through. Plus, the audiobook was narrated by Daniella herself and hands down the way to go.

5 stars

Oof. This is an excellent memoir, but the subject matter is so difficult that all prospective readers need to be especially mindful of whether they can stomach it.

Mestyanek Young (M.Y. from here) narrates the audio version of her work, and this only heightens the impact of an unforgettable tale. Readers who have access to the audio version should enjoy this benefit.

The focal point of this memoir is trauma: experiencing it in different ways, attempting to live with it, and ultimately finding a way forward. M.Y. is born into a particularly notorious cult: The Children of God. Anyone familiar with this horrific group knows that it is characterized by persistent and pervasive child abuse of every kind. This includes rape and sexual assault. M.Y. does not shy away from discussing her experiences and those of others who similarly suffered, and they are extremely disturbing. Anyone with sensitivity to this subject should be extra mindful. Obviously, M.Y.'s early life deeply impacts her, and while she experiences incredible personal wins, she also then enlists and has a whole new series of horrifying encounters. It is impossible to know a story like this and to not be deeply impacted by it. M.Y.'s continued existence seems near miraculous, taking into account the extreme obstacles she has faced.

For me, this is the brand: glad-I-read-it-and-never-want-to-again. This is not an enjoyable read, but it is a powerful one. Folks who can manage the content will undoubtedly be thinking about this author and the many others who have suffered like this for a long time to come. Recommended for the right reader and with extreme caution.

An absolutely fantastic memoir that fans of stories about cults, resilience, and women's rights will love. I first learned about the Children of God when reading Faith Jones' memoir Sex Cult Nun. Upon realizing that Daniella was also a member, I wasn't sure how similar their stories would be. While the two women experienced equally grueling and awful sexual assault and abuse within the Children of God, their memoirs each offer very different insights and experiences. I found Daniella's commentary on her army service and the parallels to cult life to be extremely interesting and thought-provoking. Daniella's resilience is inspiring, and her story is important.

Read if you like
-The Glass Castle, Educated, Sex Cult Nun
-Inspiring memoirs
-Stories about women breaking barriers
-Cult stories
-Memoirs narrated by the author (the audio is 100% the way to go)