This was one of my most anticipated books of the year for obvious reasons. I mean, how often do we see a female plus-sized vampire in romance books? I think this may have been the first time for myself. Unfortunately this fell flat for me. It may have been because I was expecting this to be more body positive and that our main character, while have a few bumps along the way, would be confident in herself and her body. This is not what I got. Our main character Lily has very serious body image issues that I found to be triggering and potentially damaging to certain readers. I could have possibly looked past the crippling self-hate if it had only been at the beginning of the novel when she realized that her body would never change. But it was for 75-80 % of the book. Lily doesn't ever really learn to love her body and is only okay with it because she finally sees that her love interest, Tristan is actually attracted to her. Lily's mother is also incredibly fatphobic and that never truly is address.

Then this is Tristan himself. At some points he's likable, if a bit boring. And then others he's controlling, kind of misogynistic, and not a hero I want to get with our heroine. How has a vampire who is as old as he is not come to understand society and women of the current century? It is mind-boggling. He also never talks to Lily about really anything, especially about her new life as a vampire and then expects her to know what's going on. There is no communication and at the end I wasn't sure that I even wanted them to try and work it out. Then there is the whole question over consent. Tristan accidentally turned Lily after putting her in a trance to ask if she was cool with being bitten. At what point do you know if the answer given while the person is under is actually the truth? And is it truly them giving consent? Especially because Lily wasn't completely under and she was answering "yes" to seeing him again... There is also the non-consensual turning which was in the synopsis and I could have looked past it if there weren't other points of questionable consent throughout the book. Tristan just refuses to listen to Lily and her concerns and it really is compounded by his abuse of his powers. He repeated wipes mind-controls and wipes the memory of people they run into even after Lily has made it clear that she thinks it's a violation and has asked him to stop. He even mind controls Lily's best friend in a bid to leave Lily out of the final climax. After all of that, I found him to be rather unlikable as a person, but especially as a love interest.

The plot of this novel was interesting and I did really like how everything played out, though it does feel like the set-up to a series instead of it's own complete book. The ending is open ended with no concrete solution, besides Lily falling head over heels for Tristan. I didn't realize that this was going to be a series before I read it. After this book, I'm not sure I would continue on with it and that's honestly a bummer.

As a sidebar, I also didn't love Lily's constant use of the word "Obvi." It grated on my nerves.

Overall, I think it's a decent paranormal vampire book. The plot was cool and interesting, even if the pacing was a little off. It just fell flat with the romance portion and Lily's crushing self hate. I do believe this book is worthy of multiple trigger-warnings regarding self-hate, body image issues, fatphobia, and questionable consent. I don't think it really lives up to the synopsis's claim of body positivity.

Thank you so much NetGalley and Dreamworks Media for the audio ARC.

Thank you to Netgalley and Dreamscape Media for the opportunity to listen to this advanced reader copy. This honest review was based off my experience listening to this ARC, which in no way biased me. All opinions are my own.

Let me walk you through my thought process: I saw this available as an Audiobook ARC on NetGalley, I see the cute cartoon cover of a plus sized woman. Here I am thinking this is going to be a fun romcom with body positivity, especially after in the amazon (not GoodReads) synopsis it ends with “Perfect for fans looking for: a little Halloween spirit, body positive representation, and enemies to lovers vibes.” I am here to tell you at least one of those is not correct, or the “body positive representation” is disguised as blatant fat phobia.

Oh dear lord. I knew not even to mid chapter one that this was going to be ALOT. and I don’t mean that as a compliment.

Knowing that this is a romcom I expect a certain level of cringe worthy lines and scenes. Never have I surpassed my exceptions BEFORE CHAPTER 1 IS OVER.

This did not feature a content or trigger warning, AND IT ABSOLUTELY SHOULD, for the absolute fat phobic content disguised as internalized fat phobia and self loathing your own body. And if the “content warning was added after the fact, would be a form of covering their asses, because I am not the only ARC reader who has mentioned the terrible plus size representation. As a mid/plus sized body this representation is ATROCIOUS. I am aware of my own size, but Lily finds something to say about her size every few paragraphs.

Here are a few examples:

“I struggle to make sense of it all as I drag myself up to a sitting position. My abdominal muscles cry out in protest. Glancing down at my belly, I make my standard resolution to do more sit-ups.”

“Up on my feet now, I yank at the open waistband of my jeans—which, I discover, doesn’t close. But for once in my life, that’s not my number-one concern.”

“It’s like he sees me—really sees me—and not just my size.”

“I’ll bet not one of them ever tried Noom. You want to talk about insatiable hunger? Try living on twelve hundred calories a day. For a month solid, I was so fucking hungry I wanted to eat my own arm. But I managed to keep my appetite on lockdown then. I can do it again now.”

“But then I hear Cat’s words from earlier tonight echoing in my head: Starving always leads to bingeing. And, yes, okay, the consequences of me “bingeing” now could be a hell of a lot more catastrophic than just a few regained pounds.”

I love Twilight as much as the next girl, but I can say that there’s such a thing as TOO MANY twilight references.

If this didn’t have the extra harmful representation, it would still be no more than a 2 star read for me, literally the only likeable character was Cat.

I understand that this features an FMC who is struggling with her self image, but this is not that, and at least in the first 30 or so percent, the self image comments don’t ‘get better’ or happen less often, in fact they might just get worse.

I physically cannot continue listening to this book and I officially DNF at just shy of 30%. I did not have a good time and I definitely do not recommend.

Tropes: strangers to lovers, a plus size, and embracing body positivity.

Firstly, thank you Netgalley for this ARC. Unfortunately, this book was a flop. I was unable to finish it. I got through about 2/3 of the book before I DNF'ed it. I read this book for the spooky vibes, but it was kind of a flop. The writing was stagnant and character development was subpar. I didn't really feel attached to any specific character, which definitely made the reading experience lackluster. The book has a good start but was very slow and dragged on, so it made it hard to finish. There is some wit and banter, but wasn't enough to help the slow development of the story since it was so few and far in between. I feel like there's just been too many vampire stories, so this one just didn't feel that original. Overall, very predictable, so I got bored and didn't finish.

A true RomCom perfect for spooky season. Spoiler - all RomCom, not spooky.
This was totally fun and entertaining and I loved how everything played out. I could definitely see a sequel in the future and movie or TV show. OH! Or a spin off with Evan! I will definitely be on the lookout for more by Gloria Duke

I didn't hate this book, but I had no great love for it either. Years ago I read a series of books by Mary Janice Davidson that were cute and funny and when I read the summary for When Life Gives You Vampires, I thought it would be more like that. Sadly it did not live up to my expectations.

I felt that there wasn't much happening in the story, other than the main character Lily whining; she was not likable because she was fat. Listen, if I am undead, I'm not worrying about my weight at that point. I really wanted Lily to be this body-positive role model for readers, kind of a badass vampire, who had all this confidence in herself...this wasn't her at all.

The story had potential, it was even cute in some parts, I think my biggest complaint was Lily's attitude toward herself.

Love the narrator, she added so much character to the story, especially Lily's character.

I thought this book was cute but I had a hard time loving it as much as I wanted to. There was too much going on. I'm not a huge fan of genre mash ups but I can tolerate them especially when you really can't tell its a mash up. This one felt like a paranormal mystery romance contemporary all in one and it just didnt mesh as good as I thought it could have. Lily, the main character was sweet and at times got on my nerves with how she was with Tristian. It felt like obsession to me and not love.

“Twenty-five year old Lily Baines is used to waking up hungover, overweight, and underemployed. Waking up with fangs? Not so much. But when it turns out a little light necking has more serious consequences than she ever imagined, Lily’s determined to get to the bottom of it.”

This review is going to sound like I hate this book.

I don’t hate this book – I’d actually look forward to another book involving Evan and Kat.

It had a lot of things I liked. Plus-sized heroine, banter, strong girl friends, SEXY VAMPIRES. Trouble is, the negative eclipsed the positive.

Lily could have been a strong, eff-the-world, badassed b!tch turned kickass vamp. Instead, we’re treated to NINE HOURS of internal self-flagellations. Hear me when I say that fat people absolutely have struggles with their inner critic. That doesn’t mean I want to listen to it for HOURS.

Too much of the book was Lily thinking, “He says he likes me, but I’m fat, so he must lying.”

[I wish we could have talked more about how “Vampire bodies are perfect”, and the reason her body stayed the same was because HER BODY WAS ALREADY FRICKEN PERFECT. Also, can you imagine ‘being turned’ whilst on your period, and having to deal with menstruation for eternity? Where a wooden stake when you need it?]

Then you’ve got Tristan (typical I-Won’t-Actually-Listen-to-you-because-I-Know-What’s-best-for-you asshat), who refuses to discuss anything, then suddenly decides to ‘respect boundaries’, without what? Consulting her current opinions, wants, and desires.

FOR THE LOVE OF MANCHEGO can people (and the undead) just open their stupid mouths and talk to each other?

6.5/10

Thanks to NetGalley, Dreamscape Media, and Sourcebooks Casablanca for this ARC.

I unfortunately could not get into this one. It was just so incredibly cheesy. I ended up not finding it at about the gift percent mark.

If I am an undead creature of the night and still have to think about my weight, I will walk out into sunlight immediately.

I kind of preferred when she was getting all of her vampire knowledge from YA novels vs Tristan filling him as he saw fit.

She has absolutely no self preservation instinct at all. He gave her keys and told her to run and she sat on the couch and then walked right into danger despite not having weapons or any defensive skills.

I did feel like this book had every unkind and unproductive thought I’ve ever had about my body was written down and I didn’t like it. She shed her insecurity all over her social circle but this whole storyline made me sad.

The other thing that made me the saddest about this book was that there was a well adjusted plus sized woman from her past who was completely genuine, seemed lovely, and was comfortable with her body and life. She was a complete foil to the main character in this. WHY did this woman have to have something happen to her? It was wrong for this story and I will die mad about it.

The narrator sounded like Anna Kendrick though and she did a great job. ❤️

Thank you to Netgalley, Dreamscape Media, and Sourcebooks Casablanca for a copy in exchange for an honest review. My opinions are my own.

“I try to ground myself by focusing on the things I know to be true. My name is Lily Baines. I’m twenty-five years old. I live on Bleecker Street in the West Village. I work as an overnight web editor… And apparently, I’m a fucking vampire.”

Lily Baines is used to waking up hungover, overweight, and underemployed. Waking up with fangs, though? Not so much.

Fall is my absolute favorite time of year and this book was the most perfect way to start the spooky season. It was just so FUN! I mean this is a rom-com…about vampires! I laughed out loud throughout the whole book. The body positivity is just fab and Lily is someone that I would absolutely want to be friends with, vampire or not! The romance was sweet and I truly loved Tristan’s character.

The audio was absolutely fantastic! Lily is a sarcastic and fun character and this really came through in the narration. She was hysterical and so fun and her spirit and fire was captured so well. I highly recommend the audio!

Thank you so much to Sourcebooks Casablanca, Netgalley, Dreamscape Media, and the author for the ARC and ALC in exchange for an honest review.

🔊Song Pairing: Bite Me - Avril Lavigne

💭What I thought would happen:

Loved the cover and the witty title, PLUS the +size rep of the leading lady. I mean I gathered it was a campy vampy romance 😉

📖What actually happens:

Lily wakes up with what feels like a gnarly hangover…she went out and doesn’t remember how she got home and feels a little less….human. She then rapidly recalls a very gorgeous man she met at the bar and he was nice, more than nice he was into her…and he bit her. WTF?!

Turns out Lily is now a creature or the night, a vampire, her creator thought this is what she wanted and unfortunately was a wild miscommunication. Tristan is here to help Lily learn about her new life and abilities but the vampire council (hello Volturi) won’t be happy or a new vampire being converted without their permission. Yikes.

🗯Thoughts:

The GoodReads rating on this was looooow so I was a bit skeptical but it was witty, full of fantastic banter with some outstanding comebacks that I have pocketed. Thaaaank you! What a great read for October.

Oooph I 10/10 pictured Tristan as Damon Salvatore sooo that spiced this book up right quick when you put him in a sleek sports car and a caring/protective demeanour over Lily. Yup yup yup!

Love love love the addressed issues with fat shaming and the struggles and insecurities of being a curvy gal, just because Lily was voluptuous doesn’t mean she wasn’t bad ass.

This book pubs today and I hope people get as much enjoyment as I did!

I loved the concept of this book. It is a fun and exciting paranormal romance. It is coined as a paranormal Dumplin' for adults and I can definitely see that! The main character did frustrate me a lot throughout the book though. I can definitely relate to her but I found her obsession with her looks to be excessive. I wish it were just scaled back a little and it honestly took away from the rest of the book which was really wonderful. I still enjoyed the read overall and give it 3 stars. I would really like to read more about this world now that MC is coming more to terms with her body and has learned more about her family. I'm very intrigued where it will lead and I loved the ending.

When Life Gives You Vampires by Gloria Duke

Thanks to @dreamscape_media for the opportunity to read this sinister #eARC #audiobook! This will available tomorrow wherever books are sold. 🖤

Lily Baines has a simple, straightforward, albeit boring lifestyle. That is until she wakes up with a blinding, burning thirst after a night of drinking — a thirst for blood. With the help of her best friend, Cat, and super hot date from the bar turned vampire trainer, Tristan, Lily navigates the new set of challenges that come with being undead not limited to the upset vampire counsel, navigating her new diet, and where to travel and how to avoid unwanted attention.

This was super fun that you can really sink your teeth into! 😜🧛🏻‍♀️ This is what I would want from a Twilight reimagined to be less brooding and predatory. This started off with a mystery that drew me in and kept me fully w aged with both the love story and the nonstop hysteria and thrills. I also really loved that beneath the main story of the quest to master being a vampire there is the commentary on body positivity and how weight and a clothing size doesn’t equal happiness or ease in life. Reading about women like me makes me feel so seen! I hope for another book with more of these characters.

I highly recommend this as a fun read for spooky season!

👻👻👻👻 - 4/5

I don't know how to rate this book. I wanted to like it. I love books (ESPECIALLY romance books) that have fat representation. We need more depictions of realistic bodies giving and receiving love and pleasure. BUT. And this is a giant BUT. There's a line between accurately reflecting a character's struggle with her weight and creating a character with so much internalized fatphobia that it's 1) distracting and 2) potentially very triggering to some readers.

From the very beginning, there is almost constant diet talk/body shaming from the overweight protagonist herself. She is very bitter about her weight and her appearance; her mother has also needled her about it her entire life. One example: Being stuck in her permanently cold (vampire), permanently plump body is “a giant kick in the tits” and she doesn’t know which is worse, that the vampire grand master wants to kill her or that she has to live on indefinitely at her current weight. The main character's focus on her food consumption is intense, and she has a serious binge/restriction cycle that she's been stuck in. Now that she drinks blood, she realizes she doesn't have to count calories, but still--she thinks about it a lot.

I’ve struggled with negative self talk for as long as I can remember, as a symptom of my body dysmorphia, and I've been in therapy for several years now to help mute that inner critic. The main character's constant internal dialogue is exhausting--she dislikes herself so much that it actually bleeds over into how she treats others.

I wanted to finish the book to see if any resolution occurred. It does have some resolution and she eventually arrives at a place of body acceptance but it’s a LONG, PAINFUL journey. I like the vampire aspect of it—I’m a sucker the undead (pun intended)—but reading about her insecurities and how much she fought with her body almost had me crying. It was almost too much. At the end, her mom, after years of abusive, fatphobic comments and actions, says “I’m sorry if I made you feel less than beautiful,” and that was it. In my opinion, that isn't enough to make up for the years of hurt she caused. Apologies alone don't fix things.

Anyway, all of that to say--if dieting/restricting/body shaming/fatphobic comments trigger you, RUN away. This book is full of all of that. If that doesn't bother you, it's an otherwise fun romance with a newly-undead vampire heroine and her super hot maker.

After waking up and not remembering the night before, Lily realizes she is a vampire. She calls on her bestie to help figure out what to do. Her sire is trying to help ease her into the undead life but the Big Kahuna wants her to meet her final end.
Opinion
It has been quite a while since I have been this excited for a book. If you follow my reviews, you know I'm a huge fan of paranormal with Vampire books being a top favorite. This one was quite the read. It had me laughing out loud and issuing instructions to my children to make me a vampire if they ever become one. I would venture to say this may be my favorite book of the year. I can only hope with the "Slaying It" added at the end of the title that this is going to be a series. If so, the following books will be "one click" books with an automatic purchase.
I had the added bonus of having the audio book. The narrator was top notch and certainly read the nuances well.
Many thanks to Net Galley for providing me with an ARC of this book.

Waking up as a vampire one morning was not on Lily’s bucket list, but somehow she was turned last night. She’s used to waking up broke, plus sized, and hungover, but with a blood thirst? Not so much! Tristan, the vampire who turned Lily, finds her and attempts to guide her through her transition, along with her best friend, Cat. Once they find out her work nemesis, Evan, was also awakened as a hunter and is tracking her, along with the Vampire Grand Master, they need all the help they can get just to stay alive.

I loved Lily’s body positivity journey. She starts the book believing no one could ever really love a gal her size, but finds a special love with Tristan by the end. I thought her roommate’s reaction to her best friend appearing as a vampire one morning was a bit too calm and controlled. I would have been quite a bit freaked out by this news. Tristan and Lily have spicy, electric chemistry when Lily finally gets out of her own mind. Overall, I found When Life Gives You Vampires an entertaining, current paranormal romance.

What a gem! I loved this book. Anyone who likes a low stacks fantasy romance will like this book.

I really hope this is the beginning of a series because I really liked these characters. We have a plus size main character at first dealing with some regular struggles (body image, self worth, mother-daughter relationship, ect.) who meets. acute man who seems very into her. Before she knows it she is waking up at night extremely hungry with no memory of the night before. Now she is dealing with those same issues while trying to hide the fact that's she's a newborn vampire and fought herself on the top of the most wanted list in the vampire world.

What I like about this book is that even though there is supernatural forces there is no need for a ton of world building needed. Because it takes place in modern society and due to our main character being new to the vampire society we learn as she does. I loved that and the story kept me on the edge of my seat.

Anyone looking for a cozy spooky read, I recommend this book! Thank you NetGalley for the opportunity to read this story!

Thank you NetGalley for this audio book.

I really enjoyed this book. I liked the fact that body image was a huge part of this book. You can be a sexy big vampire, you just need to own it. I loved how Goodreads compared it to Dumplin'. It is so very true.

The story is about Tristan and Lilly. The hook up one night and Lilly wakes up as a vampire. She keeps seeing Tristan, who thought Lilly was allowing him to bite her, but she wasn't so there in lies the issues. She did not give him permission and now she's a vampire. Now they are both in trouble from the Vampire Council. Vampires have a code. They can't make newborn vampires without permission. So they must figure out what to do.

It's a great book. highly recommend.

I couldn't get into this one, as much as I loved the premise and the cover. The writing style and forced humor was too much for me and I struggled to really get into the story. I skipped around a little to see if it got any better, but I just don't think this one is for me.

<b>AudioARC provided by Publisher in exchange for an honest review.</b>

I would like to thank Dreamscape Media and NetGalley for the copy of this AudioARC. It was a pleasure to get an early peak into Duke’s debut.

While this was a fun quick read, I was left with more questions than answers.

<i>When Life Gives You Vampires</i> had a premise that had me begging to get my hands on it. In our currently literary landscape, it was hard to find a good romance featuring a plus size lead. The story sets the pace by introducing us to Lily, and her best friend: <s>her insecurities</s> Cat. Very quickly we learn that Lily believes her worth is directly attached to weight, and that she holds a bit of resentment toward her friend. Not a surprising outcome after of hearing her mother berate her about her size for years.

Many of her thoughts, and worries about judgment I feel like fit a mentality of my generation, where our mothers preached that in order to be anything in this world we have to be thin. I found myself hating Lily’s mother for projecting those beliefs onto her and how Lily could never seem to let go of her body due to this.

At one point I actually wished the book wasn’t a romance. That Triston was her friend instead of a potential love interest. I would have loved to see more of Lily’s coming into her own, and loving her body, because by the end, I feel like she never truly did. She believed others could like her for who she was but I’m not sure she ever liked herself.

The relationship between Triston and her did feel a little insta-lovey, and didn’t feel super authentic, but as a character I really did love him. I think they can learn so much from each other in regard to Triston finally learning all women aren’t damsels in distress, and Lily learning that her size doesn’t define her.

I feel like things the story could have done better on was the conflict. It felt very busy with how many different things Lily was battling: Her self-worth/body image, her romantic interest in a new man, being a newly turned vampire, a vampire slayer, and the Council trying to kill her. It was just… A lot, and left me just overwhelmed with so much conflict and almost no relief. Additionally, I had to fight cringing sometimes at the terminology and acronyms she used that seemed to be stuck in the 2000’s.

Overall it’s a fun read that had me giddy, and at only about a quarter through, I recommended it to my friend. But, I think it just missed the mark on what it could have been.