I really enjoyed this book! at first, I was a bit put off because I thought this was just a normal coming-of-age book but I really enjoyed the character's thought processes.

DNF at 20%
The majority of the first part of the book was just the main character scrolling on social media, which was just an instant no for me. Incredibly boring. Every single character got on my nerves instantly because they feel so flat.

At times this book really resonated with me, since it takes place after the main character is navigating life after graduating university. This point in life can be so confusing as you start to look for jobs and establish yourself in the world. This book is also centered around the fact that a crack has formed in the sky, and the main character is coming to terms with an uncertain future. When I graduated from university, the world was put on pause due to Covid - 19. Not only was I experiencing one of the most confusing times in my life, but I also had to adjust to the world in a global pandemic. The way the author shows the anxiety of the main character Sophie has while she struggles with her new reality, was very relatable to me. Social media became a way to help me unwind and connect to other people. Sophie has many moments in this book where her social media becomes a way to distract her from her life. I recognize how this has become a new normal for people. There was a time during the global pandemic when my only connection with the world was through electronic screens. When the restrictions came down, I became anxious to reconnect with people in the real world. Sophie’s interactions with those around her allow the reader to feel this type of anxiety. The reader gets to know Sophie’s innermost thoughts as she observes those around her and comes to terms with her new reality.

As the book progresses, we get to see how Sophie struggles with her mental health. In order to cope with her declining mental health, she depends on those around her and social media to help her relax. She is very trusting person based on what I read and she seems to really value people that share the same views as her. But she soon starts to realize that the world is not all black and white. That people are not always honest and they will just say things to make a good impression. The author does a great job of showing both the good and bad sides of her characters. This realistic portrayal of characters allows for the reader to see how Sophie’s view of the world is influenced by the actions of the people around her.

At times I did feel like the book dragged on and it was repetitive in some sections. Sophie’s reliance on social media was very evident through out the novel but I found the author went into a lot of detail and it did not do much for the plot. The style in which the book was written was confusing to me. It was not always clear to me when Sophie was responding to someone or just thinking. The author uses quotation marks for the other characters but not for Sophie. It worked for most of the book as I did not notice this at first but then there were some sections of the book that were confusing to me.

Overall, this book made me think a lot about the relationships I have with others in my life. Part of adulthood is realizing that there is no benefit to having relationships in your life that only bring you harm. Learning to love yourself and surrounding yourself with people who care about you is very important. Life is too short to be surrounding yourself with people that will make you feel as though you have no place on this Earth.

Thank you NetGalley and Canongate for the chance to review this book.

It is important to note that the majority of the themes explored in this book deal with sensitive subject matters. My review, therefore, touches on these topics as well. Many people might find the subject matters of the book as well as those detailed in my review overwhelming. I would suggest you steer clear of both if this is the case. Please note that from this point forward I will be writing about matters which contain reflections on disordered eating, eating disorders, sexual assault, physical violence, suicidal ideations, distorted body image, & others.

There is so much that goes into a story. However much the written word might hold, it is ultimately the employer of words who holds the power. When I first came upon this book the cover art made me long for it to be one that I loved. I feel a quaint connection with the title; an opening to what proves to be an existential nihilism. It was my luck to come upon this book & I will regard it fondly for all the years of my life. I hope that there comes a time when I might revisit the pages so that I am reminded of where we both have been, since we met, & recall the times when we walked the same paths, alone.

Sophie is a 22-year-old university graduate living in Dublin at her childhood home. She has no job & doesn’t know which type of career she is meant to focus on getting; or where to start in the sea of applications, job posters, & opportunities. Every day she wades through life like a reef suckled into the crevices of a rock at the bottom of a lagoon. Nothing matters much to her & one might wonder if this is not partly due to her chronic presence online. Sophie lives both innately & vicariously through her cellular device. That being said, it is not the only screen that matters. Her television, her laptop, & her phone mean the world to Sophie, they are windows to the world she hides within.

I find this book difficult to review & there was a part of me that began to dread the moment when I would have to sit with myself & write a reflective piece. This is not to say that I would encourage everyone to read this book because I am certain that we might all have drastically different impressions of both the plot & the writing style. However, this story meant a great deal to me. In an attempt to avoid being too personal within this review, I will simply say that I have stood firmly in the calloused & scabby shoes of the main character. I suppose that this is perhaps the reason I find this piece so difficult to review.

We are faced with ourselves in different facets throughout our lives. Whether this is when we look into a mirror or into the eyes of a person who is in love with us; maybe even in the eyes of a friend turned foe. We make our mark within the shapes, sounds, & light flickers of this world even when we are inauspiciously floating through the hours. It is not difficult for me to see myself, I spend every moment of my life with myself—I am acutely aware of who I am. However, it makes me sad to see Sophie.

When we are young, as Sophie is when we meet her, the world is enormous. When we are trying to make our way into the river that flows with white foam we become aware that the casualty of life in childhood is gone; there will never be another moment when we might be without control—everything relies on our every move. We must say the right thing & make the best choices, & figure everything out. However much this does not always seem to be true, we are all sitting where we are today because of the albeit, sometimes random, or hopeful, or scary, decisions we made the day before.

In Sophie, the reader meets a person who doesn’t seem to want to try. Life is difficult for some folks in ways that are not always apparent to the people around them. Many forget how easy it is to smile into the void. This is where the story becomes tricky as I believe many readers might find the flow of events tedious at best, should they not have lived a relatively similar experience themselves. The reader watches Sophie scroll through social media sites over & over again. Almost nothing happens within this story that does not involve a thumb over a phone screen, refreshing a timeline or a feed.

However, this is a very crucial & intimate glimpse into the person that we follow. In all the days of her life, there was no place for Sophie within her family. Her parents seemingly favoured Hannah, her twin, given Hannah’s heightened anger issues & short fuse actions which took a toll on the entire group. Rather than attempt to work through Hannah’s behaviours & crude comments, Sophie’s parents coddled their other child & allowed the abusive tendencies of the one to belittle & degrade the other. This was a difficult part to read about because the author makes these scenes vivid; there is no escape for Sophie, she has nowhere to go.

As she is forced to grow to become an adult person, she is never given the care that was needed to know who she was. In lieu of spending time analyzing why she might feel so attached to technology rather than people with whom she might have a tangible & warm relationship, Sophie evades all truths residing in her own body. She degrades herself to the point of believing herself better off dead. It is by lying on the cold tiles of her bathroom floor that she is able to remember that her body can feel things; can connect with more than the terrible things she believes about herself.

Though I have placed a trigger warning at the beginning of this review I believe it is important to reiterate the gravity of this particular aspect of the story. Whilst Sophie scrolls, she actions thoughts whose goals are to remind her of how poorly she is at being herself. There is a significant portion of this story which sees severely negative dialogue take place between Sophie against herself. She is someone for whom eating is a disordered practice. I am not a medical doctor nor am I someone who has studied eating disorders but I am someone who is constantly trying to recover from one. Therefore, let me say that for those with similar experiences, be kind to yourselves—no book is worth the torment of a relapse.

With the constant hate that Sophie purports for herself, it is not inconceivable to see her pursue relationships with people with whom she might be better off without. Within the opening chapter of this book, I became intrigued by Sophie’s character & wanted to see her experience a happy existence. It was troubling to see her forgive Finn for his disconnect because that is what she is familiar with experiencing. I applaud the author here once again for rendering these invisible relationships so accurate, so real. Every character within this story was as authentic as the people we walk alongside every single day.

Within this group of people, we meet Grace, Sophie’s best friend. There is certainly something to be said about the less-than-stellar relationships that Sophie has with the men in her life, it is also interesting to see the spectrum of behaviour & feelings she experiences due to her best friend. I am still unsure how I feel about Grace. Would Sophie be better off without her shadow? It’s difficult to say. Without Grace to bounce ideas, & feelings, & recount events to breakdown moments, where is Sophie?

Certainly, our friendships say a great deal about who we are as people. Those with whom we keep company are reflections of ourselves. In this case, I think that Grace is a reflection of who Sophie is to herself. She is often times condescending, & rude, but is ultimately set on seeing something come of all the grunge that takes place on the daily. Grace is simultaneously someone who comes across as being ‘too much’ & ‘not enough’ which is fascinating given that every other character in this book fits snuggly into one only category. Sophie’s parents were never enough, they abandoned their child whilst she lived in their home. Every other member of Sophie’s friend group is too much themselves to be very much of anything for anyone else.

Ultimately, this is not negative or positive, it simply is a style of presenting the extremities that exist within ourselves & within the world around us. When we are well-placed we find the world can be a kind place. When we are on the wrong foot, our heels snap & our bones are forever tender to a misstep. With every phrase this story crafts a tale as stark as the ripple in the sky over Ireland. Does anything matter when the world is coming to an end? Can we focus on any one particularly serious matter in hopes that it results in being more than it is?

I don’t know if Sophie will ever be whom I believe she can be. I don’t know that that is the point of this story. Just as I cannot say whether or not the world will burn because of the crack in the sky throughout this narrative. I don’t know much of anything at all & that’s okay. It’s okay to wake up & scroll or take a stroll. It’s okay to want to be someone but not know how to get there. It’s okay to have days that are gloomy & sad; it’s okay to be happy too, instead. There is nuance in almost every aspect of our existence & this is what the author has presented to us. Within a crack in the sky, there is light, there is the unknown, & there is everything we told ourselves could be true. Just like our reflections & our sense of self.

Thank you to NetGalley, Canongate Books, & Catherine Prasifka for the free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review!