Life and Other Long Songs follows the story of a Black family. When a key member of the family disappears, secrets are revealed. I absolutely loved this book. A beautifully written story about a Black family and their pain. It was hard to put down. I loved the character development of each character. Deborah, a talented singer, had her life planned out, until it was all snatched away. I felt her pain, especially when she found out what Oz did. Reading her storyline and her struggles with alcoholism was heartbreaking. But she eventually found herself towards the end. Oz, who went through so much in his past with his family, didn’t heal until the end of the novel. His story was heartbreaking and you could feel his love for his brother. His trauma followed him and seeped into his new family with Deborah and Trinity. But eventually, he healed, and I cried reading his ending. Trinity’s storyline was hard to relate to, but I liked her. I didn’t feel any change with her character, but I think she complimented her parents storylines well. I could also see how her parents decisions affected her and her life. I wish Gray explored Tommy’s character more. He was more of a background character and we learned about him through the other main characters. I would have loved to read about his relationship with Lloyd and his abusive relationship with his father when he was younger. Overall, I loved this book and highly recommend especially if you love books centering around Black families.

See full review on Atlanta Journal-Constitution website:
“Life and Other Love Songs” by Atlanta author Anissa Gray is a heartfelt family saga centered around a Detroit family that excavates multiple layers of trauma — and the generational impact of abuse — as they struggle to claim their piece of the American Dream.

Spanning from the 1960s to the early ‘90s, with a dip back to Jim Crow Alabama, “Life and Other Love Songs” begins with a missing father and explores his family’s journey to reconcile his disappearance when they’re left grasping at secrets.

“Absence was not the same as death,” Trinity Armstead says in the book’s prologue while attending her father’s funeral in 1989 — seven years after he vanished without a trace on his 37th birthday. During that time Trinity and her mother Deborah exist in limbo not knowing what became of him. They can’t mourn and can’t move on. And they don’t know how to interpret his emotional distance in the months preceding his disappearance...

https://www.ajc.com/life/arts-culture/life-and-other-love-songs-weighs-generational-impact-of-trauma/IJVSYYSEAFC3TFO4VV7CN5DH7Y/

This braided narrative does justice to all its characters with its thoughtful prose and a careful hand with their inadequacies and flaws. This is a story about humans and it's told with its own humanity. An honest tribute to the ways the characters overcome, though not always in the ways readers would expect. This book was moving.

**Many thanks to Shelf Awareness, NetGalley, Berkley, and Anissa Gray for an ARC of this book!**

"Life's a long song
But the tune ends too soon for us all"-'Life's a Long Song', Jethro Tull

Have you ever had the urge to get up and just walk away from your life?

Oz Armstead MAY have fallen prey to this particular compulsion...but no one can say for sure. After a lunch with brother Tommy, Oz doesn't make it back to the office. But this was no pre-planned trip...his sportcoat lingers on his desk chair, and his wife Deborah and daughter Trinity eagerly await him with a birthday celebration at home...but he never arrives. After many years of heartache and strife among the members of this family, Deborah starts to revisit the moment she met the man she THOUGHT she knew better than anyone else. What she comes to realize is that their collective journey, from strife during the riots of the 1960s, the following Great Migration of the 1970s, and the shifts in their family life following the paths of Deborah's music career and other struggles may have led Oz to seek an escape...with no intention of return. Trinity has her own complicated feelings about her relationship with her father and is struggling to find her own path. Will a dark secret from the past tell Deborah and Trinity where Oz has gone...and has too much time passed for hope of a family reunion? Or could Oz TRULY be gone for good?

This novel is somewhat of a cross between historical fiction and literary fiction, and the perspective shifts between the three main characters (Oz, Deborah, and Trinity) as it moves along. We first go through the beginning stages of the relationship between Oz and Deborah, and in some ways, this was the most compelling part of the first half of the book. Deborah is also exploring a career in music, and although her journey becomes a bit cliche later in the story, there are some graphic and startling scenes along the way that held my interest.

However, once I reached the middle third of the book, I'll admit I started to struggle with my connection to the characters. Oz came off as very selfish and secretive, and despite Deborah's own problems, I started to honestly think she deserved better in a partner and was sort of grateful Oz was gone. The hardest character for me to connect with by FAR was Trinity, and in some ways, I almost wish she hadn't narrated at all. There was plenty of angst and conflict between Oz and Deborah to fill the narrative. Some of the historical events mentioned also could have been explored in a more detailed way, especially as I was unfamiliar with the specifics of the riots, etc. (outside of the basics) and I would have liked to learn more by the end of the book.

By the third act, I figured there was no hope for redemption and this was going to end up as a 3 star read...but Gray surprised me with a couple of plot points and I began to reconsider everything I thought I knew about this couple up until that point. Much like in life, you can't ALWAYS jump to conclusions, even those that seem obvious beyond measure. I didn't expect to feel so won over by story's end, but this was the sort of slow burn that creeps up on you and gets underneath your skin in ways that aren't immediately clear, but begin to become apparent over time. A slow burn with an ending like this one is reminiscent of that last, perfect chord hanging in the air: you just don't want the magic to end.

3.5 stars, rounded up to 4

On his birthday, a man disappears and leaves his family wondering about his whereabouts. His wife and daughter fight through life’s challenges together and alone, even as they try to figure out what happened to him and whether his presence would have made any difference to their circumstances. Author Anissa Gray takes a sharp look into the secrets family members keep from one another and how the keeping of those secrets can be a person’s undoing in her newest book Life and Other Love Songs.

Ozro “Oz” Armstead seems to have everything a person could want in life. He has a stable job, a faithful wife, a precocious daughter. Yet on his 37th birthday, Oz vanishes from the Detroit suburb where he and his family settled down after years of struggle.

His wife, Deborah, is terrified, then horrified, then furious. Everything seemed to be going fine with Oz. Sure, she’s been drinking more than she should, but she has good reason to. Years earlier, Oz confessed to cheating on her. Not only that, but he’s also held her back from the singing career she almost had. Deborah was on the cusp of being discovered when a major opportunity fell through; Oz, insecure about Deborah’s rising star, chose to keep her tethered to the ground.

The combination of disappointments could drive anyone to drink, although Deborah keeps it mostly in check. She has to for their daughter, Trinity. Bright and articulate, Trinity has grown up in a home with enough heartache. Oz’s disappearance just increases the burden.

Oz’s brother, Tommy, is lost without Oz. His older brother always took care of him, especially when it mattered most. A stutterer from childhood, Tommy didn’t seem to have to try so hard to focus on his words with Oz around. Now that Oz is gone, it feels like a huge crater has opened up in front of Tommy. He’s not sure whether he should back away from the edge or jump.

The family, along with Oz and Tommy’s mother, Pearl, does what it can to soldier on. Deborah claws her way toward sobriety. Trinity grows up and goes to college and then to work in New York City. Everyone spends part of every day trying to live a “normal” life when there’s nothing normal about the fact that Oz is missing.

As the years pass and the decades turn, Deborah, Trinity, and Tommy weave in and out of one another’s lives and their own secrets. Dealing with their own hardships makes them drift apart and come together as only family can. Until news comes of Oz and their family is on the verge of changing again.

Author Anissa Gray uses the push and pull of time to relay her story of the Armstead family. Each character has a wound that will feel singular to them and also familiar to readers. The ease with which Gray handles race issues without directly calling attention to race is admirable.

Although the book might feel a little slow in parts, owing in part to its genre, it takes on an increasingly haunting tone the closer the narration gets to the big reveal of Oz’s circumstances. That sense of haunting combines with a weariness that readers will identify with, particularly for those who have had to battle life over and over again for some semblance of peace. The novel is told in a nonlinear format; readers get the benefit of Oz as a young man as well as a young husband and father but in a back-and-forth that grounds the work. Gray gives readers a chance to get to know Deborah and Trinity as well with the nonlinear timeline, filling in blanks as the memory fills holes.

Those who enjoy literary fiction and a thoughtful, introspective look at family hardships will definitely like this one.

I've long been fascinated as to why someone would just walk out of their life and disappear. Yes, it happens, but I think most people only think about, not that many actually do it. In this case 37-year-old Oz walks away from his life on his birthday, after having had lunch with his brother on his lunch break from the office. He leaves his suit jacket folded over his chair and his briefcase sitting on the floor next to his desk. WHY would he do this?
From the troubled sixties to the eighties, we hear how Oz met his wife Debrah in Detroit. And we find out he and his family have just arrived from Alabama where they fled in fear from something horrid.
With characters I will never forget and a secret that begs to be told, I settled in for the read and can honestly say this novel is amazing!

Many thanks to NetGalley and Berkley Publishing for gifting me a digital ARC of the new release by Anissa Gray - 4.5 stars rounded up!

Deborah and her daughter, Trinity, are at home waiting to celebrate the birthday of their respective husband and father, Orzo. But he never comes home. In the time to come, we learn of their past and future and how they dealt with this disappearance.

This is a wonderful family saga spanning decades and told from the viewpoints of these three characters. We learn their family histories, their shared past, and their new lives going forward. This is a character-driven story that shows the characters dealing with so many different topics and time periods, from the Detroit race riots to the Vietnam War to AIDS to personal family traumas. You can feel the pull of these characters' choices and dreams - the secrets they kept and shared. It's how you move forward in life. It's raw, powerful, and wonderful storytelling.

Brining someone else happiness is meaningless when you’re suffering, it’s especially worse when you don’t know that the other person keeps you in their life to help brighten the darkness in theirs.
This was a really good book that brings up very important points about unhealed emotional and physical trauma and how it not only affects us, but everyone around us. And even though a lot of times things that we suffer are of no fault of our own, we are responsible at some point to face the pain and deal with it in order to move forward.
My heart went out to every character in this story. Gray‘s story telling and pacing were perfect!

4✨
contemporary fiction
cw: rape, abortion, homophobia, child abuse

this is a story about the lengths we go to in order to protect our family, to protect ourselves from our family. to prevent those we love from experiencing the same pain and hurt we have felt. it’s a story about shame and guilt and hiding from ourselves. about redemption and second chances. it’s a story about sitting with the discomfort long enough to let love come back in

loved this novel for its masterful storytelling, complex characters, and thought provoking content

thank you to netgalley and berkley publishing for the review copy!

In this heartfelt novel, Anissa Gray shares with her readers a powerful story of loss, reconciliation, grief, and family dynamics. At the heart of the novel is the mysterious disappearance of Ozro Armstead on his thirty-seventh birthday while his wife, Deborah and Trinity prepared him a surprise celebrations. Instead, he never returns home and even leaves his briefcase at his office.

The mother and daughter find meaningful ways to survive this loss, and search for him. This gripping narrative that starts from the Great Migration to 1970s Detroit and 1990s New York, as we follow the trials and tribulations of this endearing family. As the story unfolded, the ending left me unsettled but I felt for both Deborah and Trinity, as they tried to make sense of the void that Ozro’s disappearance left them - not knowing whether your loved one is alive or dead can be a scary prospect. It’s an important story that needs to be told.

Thank you @letstalkbookspromo and @berkelypub for the gifted e-arc of the novel.

Life and Other Love Songs
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Short Synopsis: On his 37 birthday, Oz has lunch with his brother Tommy and never returns. Multi-generational story told in before-after-and now, we get a glimpse into Oz and Deborah’s love story, and the life Deborah and her daughter Trinity have had after Oz disappeared.

My thoughts: I really enjoyed this family drama, full of character development and how some things can drive your decisions.

We get to see some pretty tough topics, rascism, classism, AIDS epidemic, the Vietnam war, rape, riots in Detroit and how all these things effected a family.

This story is told in multiple point of view (Oz, Deborah, and Trinity) so we get a good inside look into each persons personal growth and vulnerability as they navigate so many difficult situations.

Read if you love:
- Family Drama
- Generational stories
- Difficult and somewhat heavy topics
- Character driven stories

Thank you so much to Berkley Publishing and PRH audio for copies of this book. I did a mix of e-book and audio reading and the narration is so well done with the audio! I love a full cast audio!

This was an emotional literary fiction with a dash of historical fiction shedding a frightening perspective on Devil’s Night that occurred in Detroit in the early ‘70s. The story is told in multiple POVs and alternating timelines that switch back and forth. I found the story be a powerful and heartbreaking story of one family full of secrets, hopes, loss, and love that builds them up, breaks them apart and puts them back together in a different way than they expected. I recall signing up for this buddy read but to be honest when I started it I thought I made a mistake and was not going to like it. However, I was literally pulled in from the first chapter and read it so fast because I just needed to know what happened, where it was going and how it would end. This book will bring you smiles and tears. It is a great reminder of how our choices affect more than just ourselves in life and the decisions and paths we take seta tone for our families usually following generations after. I really enjoyed this read.

What seems to be a normal bright afternoon, Ozro Armstead leaves for work on his 37th birthday. At home, his wife and daughter prepare a surprise party. Later Ozro has lunch with his brother and waves goodbye. But he doesn't make it back home or even to his desk; Ozro disappears.

Life and Other Love Songs is best described as a slow burn. It starts off at a slow pace but slowly builds in the days, months and years to follow. It moves from the Great Migration to 1970s Detroit and 1990s New York. All the while connecting the dots to the man they love, miss and wonder about.

I am always interested in books with a setting in my hometown of Detroit. Anissa Gray did such an excellent job with describing the environment and getting it right. Her writing talent shows in this new release. Well done, ma'am!

Happy Pub Day, Anissa Gray! Life and Other Love Songs is now available.

Disclaimer: An advance copy was received directly from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. Opinions are my own and would be the same if I spent my hard-earned coins.~LiteraryMarie

Welp. I just read Life and Other Love Songs and I am a bit of a mess. It is the multigenerational family saga of a father’s sudden disappearance and the impact on his family. The book alternates between before and after the disappearance to show the history of the relationship of the father and mother, the family dynamics and how things unfolded, while weaving in a look at the life in America from the 1970s through the 1990s, together with historical fiction looks at the Vietnam war, AIDS, riots, racism, women’s rights,
and homophobia. This book is full of raw and honest emotions with such relatable, flawed and complicated characters. It was so engrossing and beautifully written and I absolutely loved seeing these characters move forward from their pasts to find forgiveness and embrace their own happiness and peace with themselves. And it gave me a good cry so there is that.

On his 37th birthday, Oz Armstead has lunch with his younger brother and never returns, leaving his wife Deborah and young daughter Trinity to wonder what happened. Through past and present timelines as well as the three POVs of the main characters, the story unwinds. We learn about how Deborah and Oz met and how their disparate families didn't approve of the match. We learn about Deborah's talent and ambition, halted at its peak. And finally, we learn about the tragedies of Oz's past.

I really enjoyed this family saga, especially set against the backdrop of Detroit and its turmoil of the 60s, 70s and 80s. I'm not quite old enough to remember much of the 1967 riots but I remember the "devil's night" fires that helped destroy a great city's reputation and infrastructure. The story also takes a good long look at LGBTQ rights - or lack thereof in the 80s - during the AIDS crisis and the toll of family dysfunction on mental health.

I loved Deborah's character and her ambition and willingness to rebuild a life for herself in the wake of Oz's disappearance. I didn't feel like we really knew as much about Trinity though. She seemed to just fill in some space between Oz and Deborah. And then there's Oz.

I really disliked Oz for what he did to derail Deborah's career and then how he sabotaged his brother's own doomed relationship. Learning Oz's backstory and his work following his disappearance helped redeem him a bit, knowing that therapy probably wasn't a realistic option for a Black man in the 1980s. The ending was beautiful if heartbreaking.

Gray's writing is emotionally complex in this character driven story. Although a bit slow at the start, I was drawn into the lives of this family and their extended families. I have not read Anissa Gray's Care and Feeding of Ravenously Hungry Girls but I would like to go back and read it one day.

Life and Other Love Songs by Anissa Gray is a Multigeneration Family Fiction Story!

After a low key lunch with his younger brother Tommy, thirty-seven-year-old Oz Armstead never makes it back to work where he left his brief case by his desk and his sports coat hanging on the back of his chair in his office.

He never makes it home that evening to his wife Deborah and their daughter Trinity for the surprise birthday party they had planned for him.

Instead, Oz Armstead simply disappears...

Life and Other Love Songs is a multigeneration Family Fiction story with a slow-burn beginning that quickly drew me in. I love the flawed characters who make-up this painfully dysfunctional family. All their secrets and the friends who surround them translate into a story that's especially tragic and heartbreaking.

Life and Other Love Songs is a character driven story where emotions run high and topics are plentiful: alcoholism, rape, AIDS epidemic, 1967 Detroit riots, and childhood trauma. It may not be a book for everyone but what makes it appealing is how well the author allows the reader to get to know each of her vulnerable characters. That rawness is what I love most about her writing.

Is this author's writing a standout? Not at first glance. Have there been other books I've read this year that overshadow her writing? Absolutely, however, this story about an American family in turmoil felt special and made my heart hurt. It dove into what was personally troubling in each of these characters lives and how each one left an indelible mark on the others. The realization that one of their parts, Oz, was missing threw each of them off their mutual axis.

Life and Other Love Songs, set in the 20th Century, is a book that was hard for me to put down, one I swallowed up in two sittings, and spoke to me in a uniquely different way. I highly recommend to those who love Family Fiction with fractured and imperfect characters!

4 Family Stars!

Thank you to Berkley for an ARC of this book through NetGalley. It has been an honor to give my honest and voluntary review.

Full transparency- I almost DNF'd this at 15% because of sexual assault. I feel like every author is using a traumatic experience to make a plot point and I'm tired of reading it. That stuff sticks in my mind and doesn't let go.
I soldiered on, but committed to setting it aside if I encountered another stop sign. Gratefully, I did not. The book seemed to crawl through the buildup chapters. When books are in parts, I really want to start at part two because that is where the story truly begins. Around 50% this book becomes "unputdownable" which isn't a word (!!!) but it's the best term I can use to describe it. I read until my eyes wouldn't stay open and then got up the next morning to finish it.
The ending was...heart wrenching. :( Look up a spoiler if you are a person who needs to be prepared for a not-so-happy ending.
The writing is fantastic- vivid and emotional and gritty. Anissa Gray can write her tail off.

Told through multiple perspectives and spanning several decades, this book about a father and husband who disappears on his 37th birthday has an interesting premise. Although the core of the book involves a secret, I felt that in trying to not give the secret away, Gray did not fully develop the characters in a way that I felt connected to them. There is still much to ponder and discuss in this book that makes it a worthy read.

✨ Book Review ✨

A big thank you to @berkleypub @netgalley for the #gifted copy of #LifeAndOtherLoveSongs !! Available 4/11!

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

📖 Life and Other Love Songs by Anissa Gray

A father’s sudden disappearance exposes the private fears, dreams, longings and joys of a Black American family in the late decades of the twentieth century.

What it has to offer:

🧬 Family Drama
🚙 Character Driven
⏳ Multiple Timelines
🗣️ Multiple POV

Quick thoughts:

✨ Time moves quickly.
✨ Many types of relationships represented.
✨ Mainly character driven.
✨ Some heavy topics tackled.

An intimate look at a family’s struggles.

Overall thoughts:

📝 The pacing was mixed throughout. I thought the timeline in the past was slow and the future timeline moved a little faster.

🧬 This was a multigenerational family drama. Alcoholism, the AIDS epidemic and the 1967 Detroit riots are explored somewhat. Closeted homosexuality was also part of a characters journey. Although, time moves so fast in this story it’s hard for these heavy topics to be significantly impactful.

🚙 There really wasn’t much plot in this one. It was mostly character driven, exploring the choices we make and the reverberations felt in their wake.

⏳ There are two timelines in this story, the before Oz’s disappearance and the after Oz’s disappearance. I personally enjoyed the after timeline more. It felt more eventful.

🗣️ I thought the multiple viewpoints were executed well. Thankfully they’re labeled, if they weren’t I could see it getting confusing.

💔 The one thing I didn’t like was the timespan. It covers years and a lot gets lost along the way.

💜 My favorite part was Trinity’s storyline. She was easy to relate with and she had a quick romance which I liked.

If you enjoy family dramas and BIPOC voices then this would be a good pick for you!

I did not expect this book to hit me in the feels as hard as it did, but HERE WE ARE.

I am not a crier and I don't get overly emotional when it comes to books that I read. But the author was able to really suckerpunch me in the heart and not hold back and I respect her for that.

I will definitely be recommending this book to my friends who are looking for a moving story that explores family and relationships. Oh and my friends who like to cry :)