Life and Other Love Songs by Anissa Gray explores a family dealing with the effects of trauma. On his 37th birthday, as his wife Deborah and daughter Trinity setup a surprise party for him, Ozro waved to his brother Tommy after their lunch and walked toward his office. He never arrived there. He simply disappeared. The novel tells of Ozro and Deborah’s falling in love in 1962 in Detroit and of their seemingly happy life in the suburbs with their daughter. Deborah and Trinity spent years searching for clues. Ozro, Tommy, and their mother escaped prejudice and a father who treated them badly when they migrated north, but the reader wonders if Ozro had completely escaped. This is a thoughtful rendering of the difficulties of living when buried trauma rises.

Ozro, his wife Deborah and their daughter Trinity tell this story of a man's disappearance, the reasons behind it and the lingering effects for those left behind. Orzo is the centerpiece of sorts because he's the one who left on his 37th birthday but it is perhaps Trinity who will be the one struggling the most. I suspect other daughters of fathers who walked away will look to this for commonalities but Gray has created unique characters and avoided trope-s. Each person has their say and if I have one quibble it's that Deborah and Trinity sound too similar. That said, this pulled me in and kept me reading. Thanks to Netgalley for the ArC. Good storytelling makes for a good read.

Short Review: There aren't enough stars for this book.

"Just try to do the next right thing. Then go from there."

Long Review: This is one of those books that will stick with you for a long time. The writing is absolutely beautiful and the characters dig deep in your heart and don't let go. This book is about redemption, love, family, prejudice, and begs you to ask yourself how far is too far? Get it on your must read list now.

Thank you for an advanced copy of Life and Other Love Songs. This was an interesting book!

This book was an interesting premise. It was told through multiple POVs, even the missing individual's POV. I thought it was neat because of all the perspectives as well as the time range the story encompasses. I felt like I was watching or reading a true crime documentary, at times, which was also nice. The only issue with that was I never felt immersed in the story, and it was really more telling than experiencing, to be honest.

This story involves a lot of themes related to living with guilt, and honestly, I didn't really buy into the father shouldering the entirety of the guilt. The family was relatable, but I wasn't ever really connected with them. I enjoyed the book, but it's not likely I will purchase it or reread it.

Star Rating: 3⭐️

This is so well written and compelling, but its also really hard. I wanted to sink into their story so badly, but the horrible events that happened on page were just to heavy for me right now. I appreciate the writing and the plot, but it just isn't right for me.

In Life and Other Love Songs we are carried through the past and present of to the Armstead family, Ozro, Deborah, and Trinity, after Ozro Armstead disappears on his 37th birthday. Told from each of their perspectives and memories, secrets, dreams, unspoken fears, and lessons learned come to light. Themes of family, generational trauma, racism/bigotry.

Really promising premise - I went into Life and Other Love Songs expected to really feel a lot, but I had a hard time connecting with the characters and got a little lost in the timeline occasionally as we were pulled back and forth between perspectives and time periods. The mystery at the heart of the novel took awhile to unfold, and I think I might have actually liked to know some of those revelations about the past a little earlier on to better connect with our characters' decisions.

Thank you to NetGalley and Berkley for the opportunity to review this book in advance. All opinions are my own.

I received a gifted galley of LIFE AND OTHER LOVE SONGS by Anissa Gray for an honest review. Thank you to Berkley Publishing and PRH Audio for the opportunity!

LIFE AND OTHER LOVE SONGS by Anissa Gray follows multiple POVs, centering on the disappearance of Ozro. Ozro is a husband and a father due home for his birthday party, but he walks out of work without his coat and isn’t seen again. He was planning to lunch in a rough part of town, so his family and friends are left to wonder what happened to him.

This is a book that moves forward and backwards in time following Ozro’s wife Deborah, his daughter Trinity, and Ozro himself. We follow them from the time he disappears when Trinity is a teen, to the time when Trinity is a young mother herself. The way his disappearance impacts their life is strongly felt from the pages and no one is living a perfect life.

I think I went into this one expecting a bit more out of the mystery element of the story. Not knowing what happened to Ozro certainly adds a mystery element, but it is a slow reveal and it was definitely more character development than plot. I did really enjoy the way we got into each character’s heads and the secrets they’re keeping.

Overall I really enjoyed this one and the audiobook with the multiple narrators was very well done. I will definitely look to pick up more from Anissa Gray in the future.

Ozro disappears on his 37th birthday leaving his family to contemplate his whereabouts and unravel the past that led to his decision to disappear.

I'm not really sure how to feel about this one. It kept my interest, but the timeline was a bit off, and it felt like another attempt at "genre bending." I've been seeing more and more books fit into more than one category and sometimes it's done well and sometimes it's a bit unsettling as a reader.

LAOLS was well written and like I said, it kept my interest, but overall, I think it tried to do too much. I think the overarching theme of generational trauma (or at least that was my interpretation) was well done, however the addition of a quasi "murder mystery/disappearance" took away from that important theme. I do feel like it came together in the end- but it almost felt too late. And there's hardly any redemption, IMO.

I think the cover is a bit deceiving too- be prepared for a really sad and....depressing story. Again, conflicted. If you pick this one up- just be aware of the points I outlined here.

Our past will always be part of who we are. In this novel, all of the main characters have to deal with childhood trauma and mental health issues in trying to be good parents and adults. Looking for forgiveness from others but especially from ourselves becomes a lifelong search for some. The author did a great job developing her characters, giving them realistic emotions in the midst of the Great Migration, the Detroit riots, the war in Vietnam, the Aids epidemic, and the seemingly never ending fight for women’s equality.

Thanks to NetGalley and Berkley Publishing for the ARC to read and review.

When a husband and father disappears and is presumed dead, who carries on, and how?

Life and Other Love Songs is told in snippets moving back and forward in time, with a good deal of mystery about motive and backstory.

This reminded me of An American Marriage in the sense of how a strong woman might deal with suddenly changed circumstances.

This book intrigued me from type start, it’s the perfect mirror & opposite to Mrs. Everything, with an emphasis on the family & setting of the story,

We had the pleasure of featuring this release at our live Spring Book Preview event held on January 10, 2023, where 1200 readers attended live and twice that many watched the video replay in the following week. I enjoyed this book even more than Gray's debut, and recommended this family drama to fans of Jacqueline Woodson and Tayari Jones. The PDF from that event is attached below.

The constant volley of past and present made it difficult to understand what exactly our motivations as the reader were -- were we supposed to wonder if Oz was dead or process the grief with his family? Because we jumped back and forth, you couldn't focus on either. And the time jumps made hard to care about any of the characters. Had we known what happened to Oz when he was young SOONER, perhaps, I would have been more invested and understanding as to why he was the way he was.

This is a mystery of a novel. We follow the different voices and different timelines to find out what happened to the father and the family over the years.
It's a slow start and lots of characters to learn, but it is very intriguing.
An interesting read.

Thanks NetGalley for this ARC

Trinity and her mother plan a thirty-seventh birthday party for her father. But he doesn’t show. He disappears completely from their lives. Was he murdered? Was he abducted? Was he having an affair? Or did he simply walk out on them? The bulk of the novel spans the years between his disappearance when Trinity was a teenager through college and into adult life. It is told in multiple points of view, including that of the missing father.
The premise was good but I found I never really connected with any of the characters. Perhaps that’s because I never felt part of the scene. It unfolded like a newspaper story with more telling than showing. Plus the mystery was slow unfold. And when it did, it wasn’t all that satisfying. The burden of guilt the father carried with him in my opinion was for something that was not totally his fault. Still the story was interesting enough to keep me reading. Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for giving me an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

Thank you to Net Galley and Berkeley Publishing for the opportunity to read this. I'm glad I did.

It was a slow start for me; I think because of all the switching back and forth between both people (voices) and timeframes (present and past); but as I read I grew to love the characters and their flaws and the storyline even more. From the publisher: "A father’s sudden disappearance exposes the private fears, dreams, longings, and joys of a Black American family in the late decades of the twentieth century."

As a reader we don’t know until much later in the book what happened with Oz (the father who disappeared) and Tommy (his brother) and their father. The author makes us wait and draws out the suspense. Oz feeling terrible guilt about whatever it was that happened colors his life, his decisions, how he feels about himself and how he treats his family - Deborah (wife) and Trinity (daughter). The impact of Oz's treatment results in Deborah's insecurities and a serious drinking problem and his daughter's inability to make a commitment to the father of her child. What a complex man the father was, thinking he was doing the right thing and excusing his grievous mistakes by saying he never had a father so he was going to make sure he did it right, despite doing it so wrong.

Lots to process and think about with issues ranging from alcohol addiction, the impacts of infidelity, and a daughter who is searching for something she didn’t have in her father by making wrong choices. A lot of it takes place during a time when women in general and black women even more so we’re forced into roles and decisions dominated and dictated by men.

A good read and very emotional.

I recently read Life and Other Love Songs by Anissa Gray and it was an absolute delight! The characters are so well-developed and their stories and struggles so real and relatable. I found myself completely invested in their lives and the book was so beautifully written that I couldn't put it down! The story is full of heart and emotion and the author's writing style is so captivating. I loved the themes of family, love, and relationship which are explored throughout the novel. I highly recommend this book to anyone who loves a good story about life and the struggles people face. It is truly a wonderful read!

I was lucky enough to win an early copy of life and other love songs by Anissa Gray through a Shelf Awareness giveaway. Thanks for the early look, and have a safe and happy holiday season!