Thank you Netgalley for the opportunity to read and review this.

This is a touching (and forbidden) story of two boys, who are best friends, that grew up together, and would later end up in opposite circumstances.

Our main character, Franz, is an SS Officer (devoted to Hitler), is hunting for Jews (along with his team), when he reunites with his childhood friend, Amos, who we learn is Jewish. Finding him hiding in a barn, he pretends not to see him, thus saving his life. As a result of reuniting with his childhood friend, they resume their friendship and Franz brings him food and (forbidden) books to read.

As their friendship progress, so does their relationship. However, despite his growing feelings for Amos, he still views Jews still in the same image as Hitler (with Amos just being the exception), and while this does not disrupt their relationship, Franz morale wavers, as he separates Amos from the Jews that have been captured. But despite this, he still stands by Hitler's beliefs, claiming that Amos is different.

I think a lot of us in the QUILTBAG community have forgotten, or at least not paid much attention to, the fact that Jews who were gay during the Nazi era were doubly endangered by their identities (where do y'all imagine the pink triangle symbol still widely used in our community came from if not a repurposing of a hate symbol?). It's simple, really, to focus on the six-million-dead mantra; there's no such count, either kept or kept alive in the public's awareness, for QUILTBAG or other victims of the eugenic nightmare of Nazi Germany and its eager hench-rats all over conquered Europe.

Amos is doubly blessed, then, as a gay Jew...two targets on his thin shoulders. Franz, abused and brutalized all childhood long, found such refuge as was possible with Amos and his family. But events conspire to separate the boys, as is usual in life. What counts for more with Franz than any memories of happiness is the community and sense of belonging that he finds in the hate-filled and -fueled ideological mob of brutes and bastards that replicate his abusive family...from the inside this time, as he gets to be the abuser instead of the abused.

Meeting fugitive Jew Amos again, knowing it's his friend Amos, and being in the position of power over Amos instead of dependent on him, his family, for such kindness as he ever knew, enables Franz to find a way through the maze of rage and pain he's carried inside for his whole life. He chooses, in a split second, a course of honor and love when he has accepted the course of hatred and violence that come naturally to him. To all humans, really. His decision to lie in order to save Amos's life is the crack in his armor that will lead him to accept the truth about himself and thus about his world. He loves Amos as a friend, he desires Amos as a lover, and he must then reject the lies and distortions he's been embracing as fundamental to his sense of himself to be the self who deserves Amos's return of love.

The first-kiss scene between the young men was very moving.

That might have made the inevitable ending more saddening, more painfully awfully real. One knows this can't, outside the realm of fairy tale, end in Happily Ever After. But the actual events are a gut-punch of reality after a honeymoon of discovery and love. (Side note: The Epilogue wasn't successful to me. It's a full-star deduction for silliness.)

But the four-star rating above should tell you what you need to know about my opinion of the story. It's a shame nothing made by human hands can be perfect, or at least not often, but perfect is the enemy of good. This is a good story told well. If it didn't actually, factually happen this way somewhere, I'll be surprised. And that ain't nothin' in my reading life.

Forbidden

This is the story of two boys that grow up to be in opposite circumstances although they are best friends as children.

Franz is an SS officer, and Amos is Jewish. One Day Franz is hunting for Jewish to deport them and he runs across Amos hiding in a barn. He saves his life and then he brings him food and books to read.

Eventually the story takes it to an affair between the two of them, and how Franz keeps his friend safe from the Nazi's.

I was not very observant when reading about this book and did not realize this was where it was going. I have read the author's books before and really liked her work so I picked this one because of the author.

It was a good story although I skipped over certain parts of the book that were not something I wished to read. The ending was also a bit odd. The author is a very talented author and I will read more of her books but I will be more careful to read what the book is about next time.

Thanks to Elyse Hoffman the author, to project 613 publishing and to NetGalley for allowing me to read and review a copy of the book.

I just finished this book and I am trying to come up with a good reason why I would recommend that someone else read it. I will freely admit that maybe I missed the point of it. The "award-winning author" seems to have written many books. The best I can say is that the premise is intriguing--two childhood friends in Germany meet up again during WWII, one is now an SS soldier and the other is a Jew on the run from the Nazis . They become lovers. Then the story falls apart. Perhaps the author realized that she had written herself into a corner--how could this end but badly? For a really well-written take on a similar plot, though, I would recommend John Boyne's The Absolutist--also a very painful book about war (WWI) but brilliantly handled in a way that makes sense both in terms of the plot and emotionally.

In addition to the naturally high angst of the situation, the author here adds in child abuse, torture, the murder of a child, one MC murdering a friend, a concentration camp going up in flames, lots of physical and emotional pain and, very oddly, a totally unsatisfying "mystical' ending in the "afterlife." And that scene (and the book) ends with a snarky comment. And we never do find out what happened to the Jewish MC.

She does a good job with ratcheting up the tension during the lovers' brief honeymoon. But she apparently could not find a way to end the book that made any sense. The reader, at least in my case, is left frustrated and confused.

This book has ruined me. And I am not completely sure if it’s a good or bad thing yet
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What made me want to read it was that it was LGBTQ+ and I am a Jew who had relatives die in the Holocaust. I had never read a book that had talked about what it was like for gay people during the holocaust. I definitely liked that this book could possibly shed a light on that especially since everything I have read is about the obvious: what the holocaust was like for Jews. But no one talks about the other minorities or the other reasons Nazi’s gave to commit murder. So when I started reading, I was excited and a bit hesitant since this is a very touchy subject for me.
I am very happy that I read this. Watching Franz and Amos find each other again and see them just start right where they left off was wonderful. It was very clear that they cared about each other even when they were kids. Even after 10 years apart, they cared deeply for each other. Franz showing his loyalty to Amos by lying to his comrades within the first few seconds of seeing him again made that obvious.

When they finally took the leap and kissed, I felt my heart flutter for them and as their relationship changed into lovers their dialogues made me giggle. But watching Franz wrestle with his beliefs and question everything he had been told was difficult for me. I found myself egging him on hoping he’d realize the truth about the lies he’d been told. But it was beautifully written and shown as he was quite literally breaking in two.

The author truly wrote a beautiful book about brokenness, love, and loyalty. It was raw and intriguing.
The realistic ending (not the epilogue) was the thing that really hit me in the gut. I desperately wanted to see a fairytale ending that only a book can give but I know that the ache I felt after realizing that that was the end meant that this book was good. Only the best books can pull your emotions in every direction. I laughed, I worried, I gasped in shock, felt connected, had butterflies, and felt an ache in my stomach. It has been a long time since a book did this to me. Do not deprive yourself of this book.

Only thing that turned me off was the amount of times “the Jew” or “the Jewish man” was used as a descriptor for Amos. This was a limited third person POV focusing on the conscience of Franz, an SS soldier, so I understand him thinking that way but at the same time it’s clear that to Franz, Amos was different. So the narrator constantly referring to Amos as “the Jew” felt a bit weird and repetitive. I remember thinking, “I get it, he’s Jewish.”
I also was slightly turned off by the cover but I usually prefer illustrations. I felt that the cover gave off the feeling of one of those books that you were required to read in high school. I don’t think it lives up to the wonderful story that it holds. I felt hesitant to read it because the cover made me scared that it was going to be dry, strictly factual, and gloomy.