A compassionate call to understand our teens, who are often expected to withstand academic and social pressures that most adults couldn't handle. On top of the rigors of high school and the extremes of social media, they are expected to "perform" in extracurriculars and to spend years of their young lives striving for admissions to universities whose admissions policies have undergone a massive shift (to the extent that many young people who are expected to go to a certain tier of school have little hope of getting in, no matter how excellent their grades or extracurriculars.) A call to let teenagers be the wonderful, complicated, emotional individuals they are.

This book is shorter than I expected. But it packs a big punch and includes plenty of help for parents. The resources at the end are also helpful.
I also appreciate that Dr. Damour includes personal examples from her life, both stories about clients and stories of her parenting successes and mistakes. She's a real person, and that makes the content more relatable to me.
Most of the chapters include a mix-mash of information that may not necessarily connect, which is confusing. However, the book remains helpful for parents of children from early elementary to teen.
Some of the biggest takeaways:
For teenagers, powerful emotions are a feature, not a bug. Experiencing a full range of emotions— a spectrum of feelings from the most pleasant to the least— is an expectable and essential aspect of the human experience.
Mental health is not about feeling good. Instead, it’s about having the right feelings at the right time and being able to manage those feelings effectively.
Medication and wellness practices like yoga and mindfulness may relieve distress. But it’s more important to help teens know how to handle their feelings, including unwanted emotions.
Emotions deliver meaningful feedback. Whether painful or pleasant, emotions are fundamentally informational and offer data. Under the right conditions, our feelings can in fact improve the quality of our decision-making.
Other topics include social media, communication between parents and children, and school interactions.

I will read anything Lisa Damour writes because her work is so good, and this is no exception. I appreciate Dr. Damour's practical writing combined with her expertise. As a school psychologist, I have often recommended her books to parents, and this will be another addition to the list.

With practical, straightforward advice, Dr. Lisa Damour's The Emotional Lives of Teenagers unpacks the complex emotions that come with adolescence, while providing both parents and teens with tips and strategies to navigate the intensity of the teenage years.

I think this book made me understand my teenagers better than having been a teenager myself. And that actually make sense because, as Dr. Damour points out, teens today are dealing with a completely different set of issues than most of their parents were in the 1990s. Today's teens are dealing with environmental and political strife, social unrest, internet culture, and the fallout from a global pandemic. Obviously, at least some of these factors have affected their mental health.

Dr. Damour's pragmatic, unbiased advice is presented in a readable way that feels comforting and reassuring, while also still backed by science. I've already put some of her tips into action when interacting with my teenage sons and have been encouraged by their responses. Yes, much of her advice sounds like common sense -- but as any parent of a teenager will tell you, common sense isn't always at the forefront when you're dealing with an intense, emotionally fraught situation with your kid. It's good to have a roadmap for those times, which is exactly what this book provides in spades.

I know I'll refer back to The Emotional Lives of Teenagers frequently over the next several years, and I'll be recommending it to all the parents of preteens and teenagers I know.

A must read for parents, teachers, and curious teenagers. My mind was blown several times, and my brain was a sponge with this perfect writing style. One of the best books for teens that I’ve ever read. Thanks NetGalley for the advanced copy!

Written by best-selling author, Lisa Damour, The Emotional Lives of Teenagers walks parents through the inner lives of todays' teenagers as they navigate the ups and downs of this transitional stage. In the teenage years, emotions run high, leaving kids and parents both feeling anxious and overwhelmed.

This guide helps parents:
*learn to identify what's normal and when to look for help
*understand the true definition of mental health and how to foster it
*develop the best connection strategies for reaching their teens
*and more!

I really apprecitate that Damour used real life examples and strategies both from her counseling practice and her own parenting journey. It's refreshing to hear from an author who shares both her triumphs and her struggles in reaching teens, and what she's learned from both. Additionally, the book hits on practical application and not just theoretical ideas.

However, this is one of those books that I had to read with some discernment. Damour addresses some modern issues in parenting and rather than encouraging parent to guide teenagers, she asserts that parents should be open to the teenagers' leading. This can be a concerning issue as parents generally possess life experience that could help equip teenagers and in this case is disregarded.

All in all, I found many helpful strategies and insights in The Emotional Lives of Teenagers. The author did a great job identifying emotions and how to handle them, both in the teen's life as well as the parent's. Her definition of mental health and how to foster it was particularly interesting and helpful. Just read with your brain on.

*Disclaimer: I received a free copy of this book from the publisher. All opinions are my own.

Full disclosure - I have loved Lisa Damour‘s writing in her last two books Untangled and Under Pressure and listen to her podcast Ask Lisa every week so I was superexcited to be approved for an eARC through @netgalley .
All my high expectations were met, this book was full of research and facts while being highly readable and accessible and made me think about and reflect on my interactions with the four teens in my life - three still at home one of to school. Now I will hand the book over to my husband and at the same time remember the wisdom contained in these pages - hoping to be a better sounding board and active listener. I love my kids dearly and I myself feel sad that they are already so close to leaving the nest (or have left) but that doesn’t mean I can‘t strive to have the best relationship possible at this stage. If you care for teens in any way shape or form this book will have you see yourself or them and nodding your head in agreement. Lisa Damour is brilliant at explaining what's developmentally normal, what's not, when to worry (and what to do), and when to just let it go ! Emotions in teens - validating and normalizing all of them if appropriate to the situation - not shying away from bad or down emotions and not shielding our kids from them either, listening, always listening … After reading this I feel better equipped to talk to my daughter who is stressed about finals and my son who is worried about social interactions as well as my youngest who has special needs that impact her social interactions with her peers - off to talk to my teens, if that is what they want to do ! I highly recommend this book to anyone who interacts with the 11 - 24 age set on a regular basis - not strictly just teens !

THE EMOTIONAL LIVES OF TEENAGERS by Lisa Damour received a starred review from Library Journal. Geared primarily to parents, it seems particularly pertinent give the very recent CDC report (CDC press release and summary link below) which documents YRBS results that show "concerning increases in sadness and exposure to violence" especially for teen girls and LGBTQ+ youth. In this highly recommended text, Damour utilizes five chapters to take an in-depth look at myths concerning adolescent emotions, plus gender and the everyday impact of emotion, as well as exploring ideas to help teens express feelings and regain control. As always (Under Pressure, Untangled), Damour offers valuable insight based on research (there are significant notes and a lengthy list of recommended resources) and her own practice (30 years of clinical experience). For example, she observes that "somewhere along the way we became afraid of being unhappy" and suggests three underlying trends: "the proliferation of effective psychiatric medications, the rise of the wellness industry, and the climbing numbers of young people who suffer from mental health disorders." Her text is clear and straightforward, written in a conversational tone with vivid imagery like "instead of fire, what if we thought of our teens' feelings as a flowing river, one that suddenly surges in adolescence?" If you are interested in "Raising Connected, Capable, and Compassionate Adolescents," details for a Family Action Network (FAN) event featuring Dr. Damour on March 2 at 7:00pm – in person (at Loyola Academy in Wilmette, IL), streaming live, (and to be recorded for later viewing) are here:
https://www.familyactionnetwork.net/events/the-emotional-lives-of-teenagers-event-1-of-2/

CDC press release and summary link: https://www.cdc.gov/nchhstp/newsroom/fact-sheets/healthy-youth/sadness-and-violence-among-teen-girls-and-LGBQ-youth-factsheet.html
For further reference: Full CDC report link is https://www.cdc.gov/healthyyouth/data/yrbs/pdf/YRBS_Data-Summary-Trends_Report2023_508.pdf

4 stars!

Useful and well written. This book will guide all parents in raising and building relationships with their teens.

I voluntarily read an advanced copy.

If you have (or will soon have) teenagers in your house, The Emotional Lives of Teenagers: Raising Connected, Capable, and Compassionate Adolescents, by Lisa Damour, PhD. is an essential resource for your home library. It will have you nodding your head at its descriptions of teenage behavior and sighing in relief at how easy some solutions can be. It is nothing short of a toolkit for helping parents help their teens.

I've learned so much from my multiple readings of Damour's books Untangled and Under Pressure, and am very much looking forward to this new one, out February 21. I look to Damour as a trusted expert on adolescent girls; in this new book she's writing about girls and boys for the first time. I have four kids in this age range and can't get my hands on this book fast enough: Damour excels at explaining what's developmentally normal, what's not, when to worry, and what to do about it.

There is no shortage of demand for books that help parents and educators understand the teenagers in their care, so it is great to have an excellent new book to recommend. The author, a therapist who has been working with high school students and teachers for many years, clearly knows her subject and offers excellent advice, often in the form of stories and examples.

A must read for parents of tweens and teens. Damour writes in an easy to understand, relatable and common sense manner. Her advice is practical - we must make sure our kids are having the correct emotions at the right time vs trying to make them happy all the time. Thank you NetGalley for the ARC.

I received an e-arc of this book through Netgalley.I have read at least two other books by this author related to teenagers and found all of them to be very understandable and helpful. This one has some common sense, but perhaps not as commonly-practiced methods of helping our teenagers manage their emotions. I would definitely recommend it to everyone who has children in the 11-24 age span of adolesence or who works with young people in any capacity.

As a parent of a preteen this book was so helpful and offered so much insight and information. It’s helpful to read and gives information to help better understand the teenager you’re living with. Offers insight into why they act the way they do and how to better interact with them to reduce friction. Very helpful! Thank you NetGalley!