I read Jay Shetty's "Think Like A Monk" years ago after a friend of mine recommended it. He was an avid listener of his podcast, On Purpose. I thoroughly enjoyed that first book.

This book, "8 Rules of Love" exceeds his first book and is definitely one of my favorites of 2023 so far. I really enjoyed how this book is broken into 8 rules which are sorted into 4 sections: solitude, compatibility, healing and connection.

I took my time with this book and the practical advice deserves to be revisited multiple times a year. I even bought a copy to lend out to friends and family. Definitely worth a read for those that want to improve not only their relationship with themselves but also improve the relationship with friends and family.

"Nobody sits us down and teaches us how to love. So we’re often thrown into relationships with nothing but romance movies and pop culture to help us muddle through. Until now."

Sorry, this book is not ground-breaking. Nothing new under the sun here. It’s all good advice, of course. And it’s all been around for some time now, not just in ashrams and the Vedas. Books, couples counselors, advice columns, blogs, podcasts - nothing is new. Some people just phrase things with a fresh twist, like "Swipe right."

A Catholic priest Father Vu, posted (on Instagram) “Date Night Discussion Questions” for married couples, and I had just read a nearly identical set of questions at 5:30 a.m. that same day in the "8 Rules" book. Does sleep deprivation make me a grouchy book reviewer? Eh. No, I just bristle at promises like “until now,” we’ve never had so much useful advice in one book.

The very title sets my teeth on edge. Rules. Pick a number. Any number of RULES on how to live, love, thrive in this world. It’s a marketing gimmick. Like the click bait ads - “Five Foods You Must Eat to Ward Off Cancer” - Headlines with numbered lists attract readers, as do "Secrets" -

That said, I have read the entire book, more than once. This is not the kind of book you read cover-to-cover in one weekend. It’s packed full of exercises, anecdotes, scientific studies, the wisdom of the Vedas, quotes from family therapists and assorted life coaches, and ideas we’ve seen in other books or in memes all over social media.

Shetty joined an ashram at age 21. For three years he lived as a monk, studying the Vedas, which were written more than five thousand years ago. Their relevance in the modern world “amaze and inspire” him, he writes in the Introduction. This book is rooted in Vedic principles, “applying Vedic concepts in ways they haven’t been used before, applying spiritual concepts to earthly relationships.”

Eh. He had to go there, didn’t he. It wasn’t just the Simon & Schuster employee trying to schill a book; the author himself says he’s doing things that have not been done before. Like Moses coming down from the mountaintop, he brings us rules.

These rules are rooted in The Vedas.

“The Vedas describe four stages of life, and these are the classrooms in which we’ll learn the rules of love so that we can recognize it and make the most of it when it comes our way,” Shetty explains. “After we learn the lessons of one level, we move to the next.”

However, many of us pass through the four ashrams without learning our lessons.

“If you haven’t learned the life lessons of an ashram, life will keep pushing you back to that phase of life in one way or another,” Shetty says.

The book follows the order of the ashrams, which parallel the progression of relationships: “from preparing for love, to practicing love, to protecting love, to perfecting love.”

Brahmacharya, Grhastha, Vanaprastha, Sannyasa. I won’t summarize it all here; you can read the book yourself or check out Shetty’s podcasts and videos. What you can’t do is learn the Vedas yourself online. One YouTube video warned that nobody can study and understand the Vedas without a guru to explain them.

No wonder Shetty is training thousands of new life coaches to share his insights into the Vedas.

I’m not a fan of the “exercises” and advice sections. This book has so many pages and so many questionnaires and assessments, it felt like I was investing hours with a therapist. For thirty dollars, you might find the book is quicker and easier than weekly therapy.

Overall, I can endorse this book for young people who have not already read a hundred other titles with similar messages.

The long version of this review is published at Newsblaze.

In Think Like a Monk, Jay Sherry shared what he learned in the three years he spent at a Hindu monastery as a monk. The book really helped me a lot. In fact I read it through three times and listened to his podcast for a year.

When he got married, he learned what it takes to make a relationship work. He wasn’t perfect but he and Rahvi talked things through and learned together what each other needed. When two people enter into a relationship they bring everything they have learned in their lives into it as well. You have to relearn things as a couple because you both come from different backgrounds.

In 8 Rules of Love, Sherry uses what he learned as a monk and applies it to love. Wonderful and practical advice. If you have felt unlucky in love you need to read this book, if you are in a relationship and are having trouble read this book, if you hope to be in a relationship, READ this book.

10/10 recommend. Love Jay and his perception of the world. His lens is very grounding and affirming. I’ve been struggling to find words for some of the relationships in my life, and this was exactly what I needed. Like a big hug for myself and permission to set the boundaries I need.