Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for an early copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

My Selling Pitch:
Do you want to read a cheesy book that really straddles Middle Grade and YA? Are you obsessed with Tiktok? Do you like a book that will beat you over the head with pop culture references and platitudes but can’t string together a plot?

Pre-reading:
A stunning cover. Get on my bookshelf.

Thick of it:
I hate this book immediately.

It's always weirdly disorienting to my narcissistic ass when book characters have my name.

It is deeply offensive to compare school shooting victims to victims of social media bullying. Phone clicks are not gunshots. Bullying can be stopped and worked through. Shot is dead.

Doctors “doing their hardest” 👀

This book is so Tiktok heavy it’s going to date itself nearly instantaneously.

She’s afraid of showering.

This book is why people hate “snowflake liberal millennials.”

So much pick-me emo energy.

You’re allowed to wear crop tops to school? (Apparently yes.)

A heart proportional to boobs-what?!?

This book is so cringe. Not in a good way at all.

Yeah, because no one has multiple phones.

Who signed this child’s permission slip to get a massive chest tattoo? (Lol extra no one.)

Tinder has an age requirement. These are children. They can’t be on there.

Wow, glitter. How scary.

Don’t drag Smash Mouth into this. They’ve suffered enough.

What…what does pasta have to do with airplanes?

I think working with kids makes you a mandated reporter.

The metaphors in this book make me want to die. In the bad way, not in the funny haha way.

That’s right, no opinionated girls.

Red is not the best skittles flavor. Def purple, blue, or pink.

I fully googled Daft Punk like that’s not old, but 22 years 🙃

Idk if talking about high schoolers on pornhub is exactly kosher.

Why were you in the school at night though?

This mouse and lion quote makes no sense.

Leave Smash Mouth out of this omg.

BTK anyone?

This socks line is the only quip I’ve enjoyed this whole book.

YA continues to fixate on Harry Potter. Yawn.

I…I also enjoy the blanket quip. Sue me.

Are they gonna make Vince have an eating disorder or? (yes.)

Your vagina isn’t the part that pees.

Not a Furby omg. Things of nightmares.

The way all of us girls are fixated on corsets as the sexiest tops. But also she’s a baby. No corsets.

I put eyeliner on without opening my mouth.

I don’t know who Miranda is. (I still don’t.)

Cauliflower is delicious.

So much privilege in this book.

I actually did know that fact about the silver screen, but I forget where I learned it. Maybe a podcast or another one of these random reads.

I did not know about the cow fat.

Why would you just not find out who it is?

Honestly, I don’t remember who Ruby is. (Lowkey still don’t.)

Why does every character with anxiety need to be told that they’re brave or a superhero for dealing with it by their love interests? It’s not brave to function. It’s do or die, and the universe does not care which one you pick.

No, sorry hold on. How do you just move on from dead animals in a clearing in the woods? Like, call the police or an animal control officer to get rid of them. Also what the fuck.

Teenagers talking about role-playing in bed makes me uncomfy.

No, take the Tesla, you idiot.

This girl put stinky eggs in her pocket.

This man just fake-proposed with a donut.

“As a woman”-absolutely not.

Hooking up during a house party while you’re being filmed-no.

If she’s getting texts, then you have her location.

Also, for all the platitudes and fucking life messages this book supposedly has, little miffed that they didn’t talk condoms or birth control.

The setting for this scene reminds me of the junkyard in Life is Strange.

Friends do not tell each other everything.

Yeah, I don’t think your mother would be cool giving a ride to the girl who posted the video that made her daughter kill herself.

It would literally be illegal to handcuff underage children together and make them share bathrooms. HR.

An artichoke bouquet.

How would you have not seen that before now? It’s been like a week.

Oh my god, not the Clinton reference.

You know, I will say this book is fully committed to the cringe. It never lets up.

That doesn’t rhyme.

There’s no way they should be allowed to have gold diggers as their mascot.

They literally told you they were gonna record everything. You signed contracts without lawyers.

Why would these grown adults care that she’s blowing a whistle? That doesn’t stop anyone. Oh my god, I hate this book.

I still don’t understand what this company is trying to accomplish with a few teenagers. Nothing makes sense lol.

I’m sure the mall has a massive insurance policy and will be fine. (It is.)

It’s not his fault what his parents do for a living. This is idiotic.

Syntonizing is a brand new word to me.

The world would not give a single shit. Just walk out the door.

Anyway, here’s Wonderwall.

Are we not supposed to know Fineman was Andy? Lowkey, I have no recollection of Fineman ever being mentioned-I just assumed he was the one with the company. I can’t keep track of people in this book.

Post-reading:
This book is a hot mess of pop culture references. The narrative voice skews so young, I would almost classify this as Middle Grade if it weren’t for the references to sex. Let’s be real, the competition and “villain” make zero sense. Doesn’t even really try to. So if you take out that whisper of a plot, you really just have an author listing off damaged high schooler stereotypes. And for what? There are no real stakes or drama to it. Everyone has a tragic backstory. This is fiction. We done been knew. And when your characters only act to tick diversity boxes, it becomes impossible to remember or keep track of them so there’s no real emotional weight to anything. It comes off as preachy, and insensitive, and like a fat wad of tokenism. Representation isn’t a list. Characters have to be bigger than their backstories. It reads like every other fake woke book, and is just annoying, and I’m truly not sure who the intended audience for this book is. Current high schoolers? Will not give a shit. My age-twenty somethings? Already way too old. Middle schoolers? Probably a smidge inappropriate. It almost reads like 13 Reasons Why fanfiction. This book exists outside of money, and law enforcement, and real-world consequences, and that feels a bit irresponsible when you’re addressing suicide, and drug use, and eating disorders.

Who should read this:
Immature readers obsessed with Tiktok or books with pop culture references

Do I want to reread this:
No

Similar books:
* Nice Try, Jane Sinner by Lianne Oelke-what should be the standard for snarky high school narrator competes in a competition.
* Truly Devious by Maureen Johnson-quirky characters with a nonsensical plot
* Killing Me by Michelle Gagnon-cringe narrator and heavy on pop culture references.
* Crush in the Cascades by Lisa S. Gayle-weird reality show rom-com
* Serious Moonlight by Jenn Bennett-quirky ya rom-com

thank you NetGalley and the publisher for this arc in exchange for an honest review.
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this book was an absolute blast and I COULD NOT PUT IT DOWN!
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I loved the characters and the plot and the adventure. I absolutely loved everything about it.

Unfortunately, this one was a DNF for me. I got a bit more than a third of the way through and just wasn't feeling it. I found the concept intriguing - a social media company creates a competition to live without modern technology? Sounds like lots of opportunity for ulterior motives and unexpected consequences! And while part of me does wish I knew how this one ended, I felt like it was getting very repetitive and I found myself having a hard time being motivated to read more. So many chapters ended with some version of a vague "but they didn't know how much worse it would get" foreshadowing statement (but it was taking way too long to get any payoff on those), and the "oh living retro actually isn't so bad! young people CAN live without technology!" message just kept getting hammered in. Again, I'm sad to DNF this one because the premise sounded so good, it just didn't play out in practice for me.

Thank you to NetGalley and Simon & Schuster for providing a digital copy of Retro in exchange for an honest review. I hope other readers do find this one to their liking! Happy reading!

When Luna took the blame for her friends shoplifting and in retaliation posted a video of her friends ranting and talking about everyone in school and her friend committed suicide she thought that was the worst that could happen but when the app limbo decided to do a retro contests at her school it all just seem like harmless fun from the mysterious host Andy to the message board and game room in the gym it really started out like a blast but would slowly but surely kids start going missing and being eliminated is synonymous with permanently Luna starts to worry. This is on top of the strange note and gifts Luna keeps receiving. Are her and her friend’s in trouble and if so can she stop it? I loved everything about this book from the playlist to the actual book itself the story was great I love Luna and her friends I think this is a great book for Halloween and after I highly recommend this book you want to dance laugh and freak out with Luna it’s the right amount of lol and OMG to make this an absolutely awesome book! I received this book for NetGalley and the publisher but I am leaving this review voluntarily please forgive any mistakes as I am blind and dictate my review.

An enormous thank you to NetGalley, Simon and Schuster Children's Publishing, and of course Sofia Lapuente and Jarrod Shusterman for providing me with an eARC of this book. I am voluntarily leaving a review, all opinions are my own.

This was the perfect YA thriller, especially with the given modern age. I was sucked into this book so quickly and absolutely had to figure out how everything played out. It had this undercurrent of uncertainty to it and I loved that, it was such a great read for October.

I loved Luna, absolutely adored her and her friends- the perfect group for the challenges that arose. I loved how much the characters grew through the challenge and learned what was truly important to them. That LIVING your life is so much better than being stuck behind a screen. It's a lesson I think a lot of the younger generations need some reminding of.

This book was great and I absolutely cannot wait to have a physical copy in my hands. Cheers to Sofia and Jarrod on their first novel together- can't wait to see what they do next!

Unfortunately doesn't go to kindle so can't read it. I am sorry it won't work out for me and others to read this book