Ever Since by Alena Bruzas is such a serious read. It's heavy and sad and emotional. This story is about Virginia, a 17 year old girl who makes really bad choices. But honestly, that's because of her acting out of the trauma she had experienced. Virginia becomes friends with her best friend Poppy's boyfriend and winds up falling in love with him rather than hooking up with Rumi. Also, Rumi has a little sister Lyra who may end up being groomed by the very same person that had groomed her.

Ever Since is such a hard read. Like, the subject is just devastating. Particularly as you learn what happened to Virginia. But you also end up fearing for the future for Lyra. After all, it is Virginia's word against that of a respected community member. I do want to say I liked that this book had a character who is a member of Virginia's friend group who is trans and well represented. As for the audiobook narration, I did not love it. I could have done with a different narrator, one I was more familiar with and liked more. This audiobook is narrated by Gail Shalan and is 6 hours and 53 minutes. I can picture myself re-reading this via print or ebook and finding it better in one of those formats. But, your mileage may vary.

Ever Since by Alena Bruzas is a devastatingly beautiful debut novel that covers the difficult topic of sexual assault from the point of view of a teenage girl and her friends. The writing is so in touch with the teenage thought train, it was almost like having a conversation with my 16 year old daughter. This book literally broke my heart and piece by piece put it back together, showing that there is strength in discussing your trauma and imperative to the process of healing.

It has taken me a while to write this review ... I have changed my rating multiple times, but in the end I had to settle on three stars. Don't get me wrong, I loved this story. I loved the story, but I didn't necessarily love the book, if that makes sense.

The story that is told in 'Ever Since' is a very important one. I believe that this book could really help people. Help them understand what other people might go through, help them find the courage to get up and do something when this story happens to someone they know, and maybe even help them when they are going through something like this. This story is about abuse. Sexual abuse, mental abuse, abuse of substances ... And it is a hard one to read. But stories like this are necessary to be told. Based on the story alone, this book would have definitely received 4 stars.

But the problem for me was the writing. The first chapters were the worst and it did get better near the end of the book, but it was still difficult to get through. The sentences are extremely long, consisting of multiple clauses starting with 'and'. ... and ... and ... and ... and ... and ... . At one point, a sentence ran for 9(!) lines on my e-reader. This made me lose track of the sentence and made it harder to really get sucked into the story. I really had to drag myself through the first few chapters, up until the point that the story got so interesting that the writing stopped bothering me as much. And as I said, it did get better near the end. I've read a few reviews saying that this depicts the mind of a 17-year old. That may be true, but this obviously does not appeal to everybody. If I had to score the writing, I would give this a 2,5/5. There is so much room for improvement, and I do believe that the author can get better (the last chapters were evidence of that).

To conclude my review: I liked the story, but didn't like the writing.

Thank you to NetGalley and Penguin Young Readers Group for this ARC of this book!

𝘝𝘪𝘳𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘢. 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘝𝘪𝘳𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘢 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘰 “𝘮𝘢𝘪𝘥, “𝘷𝘪𝘳𝘨𝘪𝘯,” 𝘢𝘯𝘥 “𝘱𝘶𝘳𝘦.” 𝘋𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘥 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘙𝘰𝘮𝘢𝘯 𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘝𝘦𝘳𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘶𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘝𝘪𝘳𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘶𝘴, 𝘝𝘪𝘳𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘢 𝘪𝘴 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘰𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘭𝘦𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘢𝘤𝘳𝘪𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘦.

Well that's ironic.
They stole purity from someone who's name it's in.
It's even more fitting her name's associated with legends because her story is too - Medea, Fatima, Aife and others, all parts of legends who've experienced the same agony as a girl in the twenty-first century. The ceaselessness of abuse is unchanging, isn't it?

𝘌𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘚𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘦 is a poignant and nuanced story of a girl who falls again and again in the same ruinous cycle but somewhere along the way learns to speak for her own self and for others like her.

- ~ -

Virginia is a just a girl. A girl who's suffered enough to have developed no sense of what consent even is and so she doesn't even know how to say no.

She's stuck until she falls in love with a guy (don't worry, no guy saves the girl here, she saves herself) who's little sister is in the same situation as Virginia was years ago. The abuse didn't end with her.
So she learns to gather courage to speak up for the little Lyra's of the world.

For anyone wanting to read the story, please stick around for the Authors note.

My major issue with the story was the writing. It is rather block-y and not completing? I mean to say one scene ends and another absolutely new one begins with little to no connection to the previous scene which led to a lot of confusion (imo).

At the end, I just wanna say here's to the ones that care enough to believe and support.

- ~ -

3.83 / 5✩

𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘬𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘗𝘦𝘯𝘨𝘶𝘪𝘯 𝘉𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘕𝘦𝘵𝘨𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘺 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘷𝘪𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘯 𝘢𝘥𝘷𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘱𝘺 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘰𝘰𝘬, 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘐 𝘷𝘰𝘭𝘶𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘭𝘺 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘦𝘸𝘦𝘥. 𝘈𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘮𝘺 𝘰𝘸𝘯.

**Thank you to Penguin Young Readers Group, Rocky Pond Books, and Netgalley for an ARC of Ever Since in exchange for an honest review.**

Ever Since is a heart-wrenching story told from the POV of a young woman named Virginia, who has embraced her body in the only way she knows how: by giving her physical body to the men who demand it, not yet ready to admit that her promiscuity is, in fact, sexual assault.

Most of the reviews reflect the writing style, and so for future readers, I implore you to go into this story with the mindset that it's prose-poetry. It's very lyrical and not written according to standard fiction writing styles. Expect the sentences and word choices to reflect poetry instead of prose, and you'll probably enjoy this much better.

Writing style aside, the story is deep, and while there are more explicit word choices toward the end, the beginning is largely beating around the bush to symbolize how Virginia cannot yet speak of what she does, even to herself. The plot twist at the end shocked me, and I had to pause my reading to let the truth sink in of who abused her. Despite the difficult topics discussed in this story, I read it cover to cover over the course of a day. I couldn't put it down, no matter what was being discussed, because Virginia's innocence is still so clear even when she thinks she's the one deciding her fate.

The only section of the story I didn't enjoy was Virginia's experiences with Rumi. The romance didn't feel forced at all, and in fact felt cathartic until the reader and Virginia realize that while Rumi treats her with more kindness than any other man, he still doesn't stand up for her when she needs it most.

That aside, the female role models and friendships in this story are spectacular and made me cry. The unconditional love that the girls not only receive from each other but from the adult women in their lives is inspiring and I recommend this story for anyone who can stomach the triggering topics.

In Ever Since, Alena Bruzas takes an unflinching look at LGBTQ themes, grooming, sexual assault, and the secrets that can shape or shatter lives. While the subject matter is undoubtedly challenging, Bruzas navigates these topics with sensitivity, giving readers a raw and honest portrayal.

Bruzas’ writing is elegant yet hard-hitting. Her characters are fully realized, and their stories resonate with authenticity. The theme of secrets permeates the entire novel, underscoring the importance of openness, both in terms of sexuality and in confronting the past. The revelation of these secrets provides the book with its most powerful moments, prompting readers to reflect on societal biases, the importance of consent, and the healing power of truth.

"Ever Since" is a deeply moving and thought-provoking novel. It's a brave exploration of important, and often overlooked, topics. Although the book's heavy themes require emotional readiness, it is a worthwhile read for those seeking a story that speaks truth to power, advocates for change, and ultimately, underscores the resilience of the human spirit.

4/5

TW: Sexual abuse, grooming, alcohol/drugs abuse, sexual abuse of minors, suicidal ideation, abuse, homophobia, transphobia

This was an ARC that I received from NetGalley. An absolutely heartbreaking. The teenage characters deal with a lot of trauma and handle it in their own ways. It’s an important and impactful read.

DNF @6%

First off, the writing style was not my thing. Second off, the MC cheats with one of her friend's boyfriends within the first 6%. She has a conversation with another best friend about how she doesn't feel bad about it. Again, not my thing. Even if she goes through some amazing growth arc, I don't think learning not to cheat with your friend's boyfriend is going to be the point of this book. So yeah... I stopped reading it and won't ever pick it up again.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for sending me an e-arc in exchange for my honest review.

4.5 stars

I don't even know where to begin. This is not a happy story, but it's a story that needs to be told. From the summary on the Goodreads/Amazon page, I knew that this book is about sexual abuse, so I had to prepare myself for a tough read. And it is that. But as much as it reminds us how terrible this world can be, it's also about a girl, Virginia, who decides to speak up, even if she knows she won't be believed, even if she knows she's just opening herself up for more abuse, even by her own friends, because she can't watch someone she cares about go through what she went through. It's about the victims taking back their own agency.

Within this narrative, the author spun the tales of Medea, Fatima, Aife, and Sita, four women from mythology who were also abused, reflecting what Virginia suffered and felt, and the self-destructive behavior she fell into to try to escape everything in her head. It was very well done but it also reminded me just how long women have been abused, but even worse, been dismissed, disbelieved, and called liars and many other terrible names if they dare speak up.

Though only 288 pages, the story was a slow burn, and I didn't feel as if I got to know her friends early on. I had trouble keeping them straight and was confused about which one was dating which guy and so on. But somewhere around chapter 7, I started to get immersed and ended up reading the rest in one sitting. And then chapter 13 hit and I started figuring things out and the tears started. I was sniffling on and off until the end of the book.

The author's note at the end is important to read. While this story is fictional, it channels her own pain.

I highly recommend this story, but trigger warnings include sexual assault, grooming, child abuse, child neglect, and alcohol and drug abuse. This is one of those stories that are not easy to read, but these stories matter.

I voluntarily read and reviewed an advanced copy of this book from NetGalley and the Publisher. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

I think the dedication might have been my favorite part. This was not for me. I feel bad rating it so low especially because it's based on some experiences the author had but the book just didn't work for me. I had a hard time with the main character and her friend group. I can't put my finger on what it was but it wasn't for me.

Thank you to Netgalley for this arc and my review is of my own opinion.

Wow. What an intense read. It was both hard to put down and hard to continue. I can say that I related a little too heavily to this novel with my own personal experiences. I would definitely warn readers that this book could be very triggering and to proceed with caution. I will say though loved the combination of mythology in this book. It was a great blend which added layers to the story, depth to the trauma and pain.

"Ever Since" by Alena Bruzas is a tough, gritty story that follows a group of teens struggling to cope with some very big secrets. This raw and gritty YA novel invites an honest conversation about how to understand and approach tough subjects such as trauma and sexual assault. For those who don’t want an easy story and those who can relate to these topics, this book was written for you.

“Ever Since” is not about the troubled kids or the rough group of girls who look for trouble and finally receive it. They’re the average group of kids who, unfortunately, are dealing with their own personal troubles and, unbeknownst to them, a shared trauma. These secrets cause their bond to disintegrate, and for them to turn on one another, instead of seeking refuge in their friendship. When it becomes clear the same incident that happened to them is about to happen to someone else, the girls have a tough choice to make: remain silent and let the abuse continue or speak up and risk everything.

While many YA novels successfully tackle substance abuse, trauma, bullying, and sexual assault, there is something so heartbreakingly intimate about Bruzas’ writing that reels you in and won’t let go. Perhaps it’s the novel's tone, which reflects the hopelessness and terror of the main character as she is constantly put in situations that worsen her mental health. Or maybe it’s the vivid details that force you to see and feel and experience what the characters do. Every emotion and thought and sensory experience is laid bare to immerse the reader not just in the story, but the characters’ lives.

This is a tough one to read because Bruzas doesn’t gloss over the brutality of what the girls experience with pretty words, nor does she try to romanticize the abuse they’re put through. And maybe that’s why I enjoyed the story so much. Bruzas doesn’t glamourize the effects of trauma or the situations the girls intentionally put themselves in to try and feel better or to forget what they’ve been through. It’s the first story where I thought I understood something about abuse and how that can flip a whole person’s life upside down, as well as everyone around them.

“Ever Since” is an important book to read, but one with many trigger warnings readers need to be aware of before picking it up.

“Ever Since” by Alena Bruzas is expected to be published on May 23, 2023. If this book speaks to you, add it to your TBR and look for it on shelves on its publication date.

Thank you to NetGalley and Penguin Young Readers Group, Rocky Pond Books for providing me with a free e-arc and the opportunity to share my honest opinion in this review.

A heart-breaking, gorgeously written book that left me emotionally raw. It's a very heavy book about sexual abuse and there are plenty of trigger warnings. I felt for Virginia and rooted for her to overcome her demons. The relationships with her friends Paz, Ro, Poppy, and Thalia felt authentic. I loved the parallel stories of Medea and the other goddesses. I would recommend this to older teens who can handle such a dark premise.

Gorgeous poetic prose and embedded fairytales and myths carry readers through Virginia's intense experience of childhood sexual assault its aftermath. At times graphic and deeply disturbing, all of the assaults by the adult "Him" occurred in Virginia's past, allowing Bruzas to show (realistically) how children often lack the power and agency to escape their abusers but also to give Virginia power and agency at the moment of this story so that she can rediscover her voice and a supportive community of peers and adults to help her find safety and heal. In this novel, storytelling is not only a catalyst for healing but a bridge of connection between isolated survivors which will no doubt reach readers as well. Bruzas concludes with an author's note acknowledging her lived experience with CSA. An impactful read for fans of heavy YA/NA contemporary fiction.

A powerful, tender, and beautifully written debut about abuse in its various forms, and the ways it impacts young women. A truly moving read, Virginia's story is haunting and one I won't soon forget.

4.5 stars

Content warning: Contains descriptions of sexual assault, child sexual abuse, suicidal ideation, and drug and alcohol use/abuse.*

This story is a beautifully heartbreaking debut about abuse, trauma and the power of finding your voice. This story featured domestic and sexual abuse, slut shaming, victim blaming, and grooming. They are some heavy topics, but if you can deal with them, I highly recommend checking out this book.

Five friends whose lives are filled with real love, betrayal, heartbreak, and secrets unfolding. It all started when one friend, Poppy left without a word. Then Virginia our the mc found out that a little girl was being groomed. This book shows how the effects of abuse never really leave you. How shattered your life can feel and how messed up your perception of consent is.

At first I was confused by Virginia's decisions. But this book really opened my eyes.
I haven’t experienced anything like the topics in this book but I feel like this is definitely a realistic portrayal of abuse and the affects that last a lifetime. The decisions she made were all impacted by her trauma and the feelings that never went away. There were a lot of scenes in this book that I could feel the truth and led me to understand a lot of things.

Another thing I loved was the portrayal of friendship and the bond that was shaken but still stayed strong. I also loved the inclusions of the mythological stories and how the story of Circe was weaved into this one. I find it hard to write a review about this book, but I truly felt the story and it was emotional, raw and just an very important story with an important message about finding your voice and the impact it has on others.


Thank you so much to Netgalley, Rocky Pond books (Penguin) and the author of this advanced copy of the book in return for my honest review.

This is the story of five friends, filled with real love, betrayal, heartbreak, and secrets unfolding. It all started when Virginia, our main character, found out that a little girl was so close to being groomed by a man she knew when she was a kid. Ever Since is about the power of finding your voice and sharing your story of trauma, and how one who stands up amidst the defeaning crowd can make an uproar for change. 

I requested this debut on Netgalley because of this gorgeous cover alone. Little did I know there was a haunting and ugly story within. This story featured domestic and sexual abuse, slut shaming, victim blaming, and grooming. Alena Bruzas was brave enough to tell this fragile story of a girl who experienced it all. With a slam poetry-like writing style, it made this even more poignant and remarkable.
 
Weaving the tale of Medea, the infamous niece of Circe, into Virginia's story was well done, and I love when a story has snippets of stories as well. Although this debut novel smashed me into tiny shards of glass, I was looking for more closure in the end. I wish it was longer. I wish it was more grounded. But overall, I finished this book in one night, and it left me with a scar I couldn't erase anymore. 

What could've been better than writing an honest story as your debut? I can't wait to see what you do next, Alena Bruzas. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to read this impactful story of yours.

The devastation I feel after reading this, wow... I am still wholly reeling from the emotions this stirred in me. It’s been hours and I’m still not okay, while feeling a healing from reading it at the same time.

Never before have I felt so incredibly seen in a book. This spoke to the silent parts of my teenage years that I try to keep buried. There is so much desolation in trauma and the guilt left behind. It’s really messes a person up. It makes you question yourself. Question events. Question your self worth. And Alena Bruzas has demonstrated all of these little microcosms perfectly.

Virginia is me. I am her. My friend is her. My neighbor… so many people. This was just a phenomenal show of truth and I am in awe. In Ever Since, Virginia is just coping silently, making bad decisions that mask her pain. She is covering so much of herself, using drinking and drugs to feel anything but the pain of her own silent thoughts. The group of friends she has in this book are iconic. Where she has 4, I had just one, though. It’s still feels the same though.

I recommend this to anyone dealing with sexual assault trauma, and that comes in so many forms. This book was a balm to me, while still ripping me open. Best book of the year!

Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for providing me with an ARC of Ever Since. All opinions are my own. When I started reading this book I was originally taken back by the writing style. I didn't love the writing and how the book flowed at the beginning, however I instantly connected with the characters. The writing just leaves me wanting more. The characters however reminded me of my friends and I when we were in high school. Going out and having fun, building a tight knit community. All of the happy in the beginning quickly fades in the later chapters. Virginia is easy to love, but I am sad for her. Her back story is tragic. Watching her push down her feelings and use her body to deal with her emotions is heart breaking. This book is so real for so many young women. I can see how this could be helpful for young girls to read but It is filled with triggers that make me worried. I appreciate the idea behind this book and the feelings that it evokes but the writing style isn't for me.

I was amazed to find out that this was a debut novel because it had such a strong presence that it was almost like it had been written by a long standing author not someone just getting their feet wet. This was a book that while I found hard to read at times strictly because of the subject I'm very glad I persevered because it was such an amazing book that I feel I'm lucky to have been given the opportunity to read. This book was full of some very serious subjects abuse assault etc however it wasn't a very dark book to read and the word choices were so light that it made it an easier pill to swallow for the reader. This is a story all about our main character Virgina and her dealing with her sexual assault but at the same time seeing the same warning signs in her friends little sister. If she wants to do anything to stop it however she has to come to terms with her own demons first, demons that she has been trying desperately to suppress. I liked how the book was written through the girls point of view because it was a little less triggering to read since we just saw the abuse signs second hand instead of listening to the inner monologues as it was happening. The only thing that I didn't like about this book however was I found the writing to be a bit choppy and stunted so it was a little hard to become emersed in a story line that usually consumes me. While I found it hard to follow at some points it is possible that I was just not the target demographic for this story. Pretty good concept just the execution left a bit to be desired.