Thank you to NetGalley for the ARC.

Ever Since is a hard one for me to review, for a few different reasons.

Before the book/ARC even begins, it mentioned it was the first stage of printer’s proofs.Meaning, it hasn’t been corrected in regard to formatting, errors, etc. I tried to keep that in mind and not let the many, many errors get to me but by 40%, I was over it. All the errors made it hard to read. I mention all that because It got to the point I was wondering what was done purposefully by the author, and what wasn’t. Paragraphs would end suddenly, with Virginia in one place, seemingly in the middle of something, and then jump to mid conversation with her friends, in a completely different setting. It was jarring.

It read like the author was trying to write lyrically and if it had been done successfully, I would have really enjoyed it. It didn’t work for me at all. We got more descriptions of unimportant things than we did of any of the characters. Most of them had no real personality. I’ll be honest, I had to force myself to finish this book. At 80% through, things sort of started changing and that is what bumped my rating up from 1 star to 2 stars.

The subject matter is incredibly difficult to read about but it is also incredibly important that these stories are told. I do recommend that potential readers of all ages read the content/trigger warnings.

Incredible. This story realistically relates trauma from sexual abuse as a child, sexual assault, the difficulties these things bring to a teenage girl's life and her view of herself. I really felt this. As a survivor, I related so much with this main character. The division her trauma caused between her and her friends through drug and alcohol use is just one of the multitude of examples a teenager and also, adults, deal with the corruption of their youth.

This is a hard topic to read about, and I want to warn any to be readers that this hits hard and goes into some detail. However, what an important book! I've read several stories this year by authors who have survived this trauma, and I am continuously in awe.

The gorgeous and heart-wrenching descriptions of certain mythology characters, particularly Medea, that were sprinkled throughout this story is another example of finding a voice to speak through this trauma. And, it was really, like I've already said, hard hitting... as it should be.

There are no happy stories of childhood abuse and trauma... but there is hope.

Out May 23, 2023!

Thank you, Netgalley and Publisher, for this Arc!

**Thank you, NetGalley, for the free ARC. This review is my own opinion**

Okay, this book is a tough one. On one hand, I'm glad there's another book that talks about rape, sexual abuse, child abuse, and trauma. We need more stories that discuss these things because it is a hard subject, but one that needs rep. I've endured abuse like this, so I'm glad there are trigger warnings. On the other hand, I didn't like the main character, Virginia, or her voice. The writing really threw me off and I almost DNFed this a few times because of it. Also, yes, Virginia has been raped and abused, but the way she acted didn't feel...real to me. There are a few times where she initiates sex with Edison, her best friend's boyfriend. She freely admits that she has cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had, and continues to try to get closer to another friend's boyfriend.

That is NOT okay! Poppy, her biggest best friend, ends up going to a family member's for the summer, and basically goes radio silent. Virginia panics and then starts a relationship with Poppy's boyfriend. She even falls in love with him, despite not knowing a damn thing about him. She clearly has some major codependency issues, which I have had experience with. I couldn't relate or feel too sympathetic to Virginia because of her childish, selfish acts. There is no reason for her to try and be intimate with Poppy's boyfriend just because Poppy ignores her texts and calls. That is toxic and I would never want a friend like Virginia.

Overall, I will give this 2 stars because of the content it deals with. Again, the writing really is hard to deal with; the author constantly says "and" a lot and uses run-on sentences. From what I learned, the author did this on purpose. Still, its not for me.

The writing was beautiful and lyrical which pulled me in right away and held my attention; I was so drawn in that I didn’t notice the passing of time or how many pages I’d read. The writing style using repetitive phrasing was also a great demonstration of spiraling thoughts and anxiety/panic attacks especially for someone dealing with the aftermath of trauma.

I loved the characters for the most part, they had a lot of ups and downs with each other but their friendships and character development was excellent! Throughout the book, the MC Virginia also weaves in stories of powerful women in mythology such as Medea and Sita. I thought this was an interesting way to show the growing power Virginia has in using her voice!

Overall a heartbreaking, heavy novel but wonderfully written and I think also an important, powerful story.

Full review to be posted on IG May 15


TW/CW: sexual assault, child sexual abuse, suicidal ideation, alcoholism, infidelity, underage drinking, drug abuse, transphobia (brief mention), homophobia (brief mention), sexual content, bullying, victim blaming, violence (brief), panic attack, death of parent, neglect, grooming

An impressive debut of a heartbreakingly, beautifully written and impactful story centering an important topic. A must-read.

Thank you to the author and the publisher for this ARC through NetGalley in exchange for my honest review

This book perfectly describes how awful it feels to be sexually assaulted in gruesome details. I appreciate the trigger warnings, although I would add transphobia to the list. This book also depicts the spiral that many victims fall into where once they've experienced trauma, the continue to go through similar traumatic events and choose poor coping strategies. When reading this book, I felt really understood and I really connected with the characters. The ending was beautiful and left me feeling hopeful.

An incredibly heart-breaking and impactful book with an important message. I love that this gives SA victims a voice and this is a really great depiction of struggling with trauma and toxic coping methods. This is a tough read but I think it is definitely worth it as everything is written beautifully with a mix of Greek mythology metaphors to depict Virginia's inner struggles. This is truly an emotionally rollercoaster.

𝗧𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗴𝗲𝗿 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: sexual assault, alcohol abuse

𝗥𝗲𝘃𝗶𝗲𝘄 𝗺𝗮𝘆 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗮𝗶𝗻 𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗶𝗹𝗲𝗿𝘀

3.5⭐️ / 5⭐️

Thank you to @netgalley and @Alena Bruzas for providing me with this e-ARC.

I don’t even know how to unpack this because ~my emotions~ but I’m going to try.

Ever Since follows the story of seventeen-year-old Virginia and her close-knit group of girlfriends as they embark on their senior year of high school. However, after falling victim to sexual assault when she was younger, we watch Virginia’s life spiral by using coping strategies such as sex and alcohol, resulting in the destruction of her close relationships and the protective factors around her. It’s not until Virginia uncovers the truth about another young girl who is currently in the midst of being groomed by her attacker, that catapults Virginia into using her voice and sharing her story.

It was heartbreaking watching Virginia try to navigate situations with a warped sense of consent and self-esteem so shattered, that she can’t see herself as anything of value. It shows us the importance of female friendships and the power of sharing your story and using your voice. And when I thought that I had gotten off the emotional roller coaster, the Author’s note had me in a chokehold again.

“𝘉𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘢𝘨𝘪𝘤 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺.”

Truly impactful and good. It was heartbreaking and hard to read, though. Fantastic writing, especially for a young adult novel. I can recommend it to all readers who can handle the contents of this book.

Thank you to NetGalley and Penguin Group for providing me with this ARC.

This book was a tough one to read. Please be advised that the topic is SA and grooming so don't go into it unless you feel comfortable.

As an adult when I read about the thought process of a teenager I can't help but think how sometimes adults let the younger kids down. Virginia could have been saved sooner if she had been comfortable and trusted her parents. This is not on her at all, and it's all her parents' fault for not creating a safe environment for her.

Overall, I enjoyed this book in the sense that remind me how the younger brain can react to traumatic events like this, and while even adults something cannot cope with such events; it's much harder for young children and teenagers and we should as parents, teachers, friends, siblings, or etc. pay more attention and know the signs to look at for.

I also enjoyed the use of Greek mythology and other fairytales to explain emotions of Virginia very much.

Seventeen year old Virginia has a reputation amongst her school as promiscuous. She is able to ignore the whispers by staying with her close group of friends. When she sees her friend’s little sister being groomed for abuse, she doesn’t know how to tell the others. Will anyone believe her? She believes it because it happened to her too.

This was a very powerful story. While I haven’t experienced what the character experiences, I can tell this is a realistic portrayal of abuse and it’s aftermath. The main character makes some decisions that are not the best, but we know it’s in direct relation to her traumatic past. I loved the friendship group and how, despite drama and fights, they were there for each other.

“I take his name away. He is a nameless monster, a beast. And the beast, the wolf, the monster, he gave me a gift. The power to tell my story.”

Ever Since comes out 5/23.

I was very curious about this one due to the blurb. I knew going into the book there would be content warnings which I was fine with since I had time to get in the right head space. The author does a good job of dealing with a story about abuse, but I just had a hard time connecting with the story.

The book is told from one point of view and it comes from Virginia. She is in high school and hangs out with a group of friends that are always around. Some are more nice than others. I feel like the whole teen life was done quite well from boys to parties. Virginia is a strong character because of her story detailing abuse. It wasn’t easy for her to recognize the signs and it helped that she had people close to her explaining the red flags.

My biggest problem with the book was the writing. It felt very dry and sometimes and the way it was structured felt sporadic. It was really hard for me to fully connect with the characters and because of the content I wish I could have.

Overall, this was an okay/good read.

**3.5 STARS**

Content Warning: drug use, grooming, child abuse, sexual assault, domestic violence, suicidal ideation

First off, I love this book cover – it’s beautiful. This is a story with heavy topics but it’s an important book. The thing that really hit me about the story was that it resonated with me and not because I experienced these things but I have friends who went through some of these things and the way these girls are a tight group of friends, reminded me of me and my friends in college. The partying, the secrets, the drama – I felt like I knew these girls in this story.

I know a Virginia, a few Virginia’s and that’s a sad and scary reality. But although Virginia and her friends’ story is scary, and heartbreaking – they are courageous and brave. The ending is full of hope which I loved. I also loved the diversity represented in the story.

This story is under 300 pages and it’s a quick read. I found the story powerful but the writing didn’t flow for me. It was a bit choppy at times and I always had to find my place again. I felt like I missed a word or a sentence and had to reread the previous sentence. I understand it’s supposed to probably reflect Virginia’s panic, pain and her fears, but sometimes it took me out of the story. Despite all of that, this story is devastating.

Why you should read it:
*powerful story about child abuse and the courage to stop it from happening again

Why you might not want to read it:
*lots of trigger warnings

My Thoughts:

If you can handle the trigger warnings then read this book. This is a story filled with pain, hard issues like abuse, but a story about courage as well. Stories like these are never easy to read but I like how we get Virginia’s story because she’s that girl who has a bad reputation, yet people don’t know what she’s been through. And even though she is scared of her abuser her bravery to speak about what happened saved someone else from him, no matter the consequences and that matters.

Thank you net galley for providing me with an advanced readers copy in exchange for a honest review.

I had mixed feelings reading this.

While the later chapters ( from chapter 14 to chapter 26) truly pulled at my heartstrings, the first chapters were extremely difficult to get through.

I blame this due to the writing style itself,as we get no descriptions of neither the side characters appearance and personalities nor the world itself around the characters. Therefore I could not feel attached to this story.

With that out of the way, I need to clarify that the topic of SA as in itself IS well handled. The victim blaming and self destructiveness Virginia faces are all well explored, which is arguably the most important aspect of the book.

The storyline regarding Rumis romance with Virginia, was however badly written which adds to me taking 2 stars off, along with my previous comment about the writing style.

Overall I would *hesitantly* possibly recommend this book

Such an impactful book. I loved Bruzas’ writing and these are such important topics to be covered. It took a while to get connected to the characters, but once I did it was amazing.

True rating: 3.5 stars

Thank you to Netgalley and Penguin Young Readers Group for sending me a digital ARC in exchange for an honest review.

This book...was intense. The trigger warnings that Alena Bruzas provides are not to be taken lightly and though the topics (SA, CSA, grooming, suicidal ideation) are difficult to read about, she handles with them all the care they deserve.

First off — the story is mixed in with tellings, retellings, and reimagining of famous myths surrounding infamous women. This was genius, in my opinion and one of my favorite choices that Bruzas made. It gives us such an insight into our main character, Virginia. Of how she views the world, of how she views herself, of how she knows others views her. It gives her a chance to attempt to rewrite her own story, but the cruelty of the world still bleeds through the pages and through her writings. The choice to have these retellings between each chapter was a perfect one, in my opinion.

The plot itself was messy, as one would expect about a 17-year-old going through massive trauma. It was painful to read at points — I found myself frustrated with Virginia, her friends, the adults in her life, and just about every character. But, again, it's reflective of how life actually is. People aren't just a bunch of positive and negative traits neatly lined up. People make mistakes, lash out, and hide their pain through self-medication. There were moments and plot points that read very realistic and true and others that felt a bit far fetched.

For me, personally, the reason I only rate it a 3.5 is the writing style. Bruzas is a fantastic writer and I'm very excited to watch her career. It's stream of conscious writing which I personally can find a little hard to read. It took me a while to actually get invested in our characters because of this. This is my own personal preference within books and I don't think it's a reason to avoid this novel or not read it. Just something to know going in, if you're anything like me.

But, overall, this was a very strong debut and is an incredibly important addition to the YA collection — both in general but also as one that focusing on SA and CSA. I would recommend this to folks so long as they head the trigger warnings and understand the writing style.

Oof, this books is so painful but also so wonderful. It reminds me a lot of Dear Medusa, especially with the elements of myth and stories of powerful women having their power taken until they’re able to reclaim the strength inside. I love how much this is a story of friendship between teen girls and they says in which they support one another and love fiercely. They are all hurting and struggling, and sometimes they aren’t very good friends to each other, but in the end Virginia, Ramona, Thalia, Poppy, and Paz are each other’s greatest strength and safe harbor. The writing really drew me in and I had trouble putting this down, and I really did love the myths interspersed throughout, and the way Virginia used stories to find her voice and speak out. All around this was an excellent, if heartbreaking, book that I’m so glad exists.

Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for providing me with an ARC of Ever Since. All opinions are my own.

Ever Since takes us on a heartbreaking path through Virginia’s life as we view the aftermath of sexual assault violence and how it affects the everyday actions Virginia chooses to make.

This book is so important for young girls to have access to for a multitude of reasons, but mostly to know that should they ever go through sexual assault, they are not alone and there are people who care what happens to them.

Ever Since flushes out how the events of sexual assault trickle down and cause detrimental effects on the rest of one’s life and we see that with Virginia. When she notices a young girl may be going through the same thing she did, she wants to help her. But doing that would mean Virginia must face her own trauma, and she doesn’t know if she can do that.

We have a very close, first person point of view on Virginia that really makes the story personal and evokes many emotions. You can really tell how much the author cared about getting the topics written in a meaningful, respectful way.

There was also a friend group with five girls that was one of my favorite aspects of the book to see their intertwined relationships with each other. The book has a diverse cast with sapphic and trans representation.

Trigger warnings for sexual assault, sexual violence, child sexual assault, child grooming, drug and alcohol abuse, physical/mental abuse, sexual harassment, suicidal thoughts, child neglect.

I rarely DNF a book, and now I managed to DNF two in one week. I’m not sure if I should applaud myself or feel very bad about it. I definitely hate it that I had to DNF this one.

I only got the ARC of Ever Since some days ago, and even though I have quite a few other galleys on my ARC shelf, I decided to read Ever Since first. A story about trauma. A story about abuse. A story with many trigger warnings. But trigger warnings never withheld me from picking up a book, and didn’t now. If you know me a little, you probably know I can handle darker stories and flawed characters pretty well.

Then I started reading. And immediately hated the writing. It’s choppy with fragmented paragraphs, and I stumbled time and again over one particular word: and. After reading only one page, it already irritated me. I kept seeing that word: She asks us … AND she says … AND then she starts … AND I close … AND listen. (This is one sentence.)

So, this book is not for me. But … don’t let this review discourage you to read it! Ever Since might be a great one for you. The premise is really important, and I’ve seen raving reviews about how Alena Bruzas handled sexual assault. And people whose opinion I trust, loved this book. So, please, please read other reviews if you’re interested in Ever Since!

Ever Since by Alena Bruzas was beautifully lyrical, yet dark.
And it’s one that should be read!

It really grabs your attention. I could not stop reading! When I wasn’t reading it, I was thinking about it. For me, that equals five well deserved stars!
I felt so many emotions reading this book. Sadness, anger and everything epinephrine between.
I was immediately drawn in by Bruzas words, the book’s atmospheric setting.
This book was utterly heartbreaking and real. Beautiful but intense.
A heartbreaking, beautiful debut that I will be recommending to everyone.
Ever Since is nothing short of a masterpiece.

"I received a complimentary copy of this book. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own."

Thank You NetGalley, Penguin Young Readers Group & Rocky Pond Books for your generosity and gifting me a copy of this amazing eARC!