This book was not a good time. Yikes. Zachary Zane is one sick little puppy. His story came across as fake and over-the-top. It's hard to believe any person: gay, straight, bi, pansexual. etc. could relate to his larger-than-life story. I hate non-fictions that come across as braggy. That's pretty much all the author did. He loved to talk about what a slut he is (his words, not mine). It became annoying very quick, and I pretty much skimmed the second half of the book. Very lackluster.

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for granting me free access to the advanced digital copy of this book, as this book has already been published, I will not share my review on Netgalley at this time.

I feel that everyone should read Boyslut. Written as part memoir, part permission to let go of our shame surrounding sex, Zachary Zane invites us into his uninhibited world of being a bisexual boy slut. I come from a background of limited sexual exploration and frankly for a long time a fear of sex. How is one to behave, am I good enough in bed, on and on. I was nervous reading this book Zane's experiences were so far from my own I wondered what I had gotten myself into reading this book. As it turns out Zane's writing and stories are just what I needed to relax into and let go of my ideas around sex. To open my mind, and join his call to us that we start with communication.
Boyslut is a well written wild ride of a book that anyone bisexual or not, polyamorous or the most staunch of monogamists, should read.

"Boyslut" by Zachary Zane is a candid and thought-provoking exploration of sexuality and identity. Zane's writing is unapologetically honest as he navigates the complexities of relationships, desire, and self-discovery. The book's raw narratives and personal anecdotes create a space for readers to connect with the author's experiences and reflections. Zane's ability to articulate his thoughts and emotions adds depth to the narrative, offering insight into the journey of embracing one's true self. "Boyslut" is a brave and enlightening read that challenges societal norms and invites readers to reflect on their own perceptions of love and intimacy.

I was really anticipating this book upon its release, and was so excited to receive an ARC. However, I think the book ultimately was a disappointment. I thought the writing quality and structure could've been better quality, as well as just the stories told. I enjoyed some, while others I found hard to listen to due to the narrative voice, "facts" the author states, and more.

Like the book Greedy, I didn’t identify with the behavior of the protagonist, but I appreciated adding another life story in the canon of bisexual memoirs—especially those available on audiobook.

We are becoming less a less a monolith. So there is more and more room for all kinds of representation.

As someone who is bi but also identifies as a snob, it’s hard to relate to the sheer number of partners and sexual experiences he had.

But the bi visibility (or in his words “audibility”) was good for my soul.

Visibility for a bi man is always in short supply.

Such a slutty treat. Zach doesn't hold back and it's so liberating. Boyslut is more than just sex and fun times, though it does that in spades. It has a lot of heart and is so inclusive. The Bi pride that bisexuals need. Love the wide range of subtopics throughout, especially on sex work and STIs/STDs.

I agree with most of the reviews on here about the author's refusal to wear condoms regardless of his numerous STIs.

The book is one big brag fest that touts itself as an educational book while also making sure we understand that bi men exist.

I was extremely excited to get the chance to read this book. As soon as I saw the cover, with its lurid, glossy, almost Warhol-esque lollipop front and center serving as the big O in the brazen title, I knew I had found a kindred spirit, for sure. Not only am I unashamed of my own high body count when it comes to partners (though nowhere near author Zachary Zane’s count), but a memoir/manifesto about being a “boyslut” written by a man? Sign me up. We’ve seen several memoirs and autobiographies from female porn stars and sex writers over the past decade…so why not a man? I was absolutely fascinated about seeing the slutty side of life through the eyes of a man.

I have to own up to not knowing who the heck Zachary Zane is before I read this book. I went in blind. It’s not like I read Men’s Health magazine or am very keyed into the who’s who of the LGBTQ+ writer’s circle. So I didn’t know Zachary Zane was a prolific sex advice columnist, essayist, advocate, speaker, and activist. I didn’t know he was bisexual and polyamorous (something we have in common). And I didn’t know he was younger than me (though I shouldn’t be surprised). I also didn’t know how blunt and crass he was going to be, but I was here for it!

The book is divided into four parts: Sexual Shame, Sexual Confusion, Sexual Security, and Sexual Pride. Each part is then broken down into chapters (it’s set up that way, but it feels more like a series of essays grouped together to fit a theme and that theme makes up the “part”) has a complete story arc unto itself, whether it be about how Grindr has affected the LGBTQ+ community to why people are so bad at handling rejection. This makes the book easy to read in pieces, if you feel the need to put the book down or if you need to take a break. The only downside to this format (at least in the eARC I read), is that Zane has a tendency to resort to asterisks and daggers to denote that he’s alluding to something that isn’t included in the main text but can be found at the end of the chapter. The issue is, since he used the same symbol (usually more than five times in each chapter), you end up going back through the chapter and trying to match up the asterisk or dagger with the remark at the end of the chapter. It got very old, very fast. (Please note: If this issue has changed or has been rectified in some way in the print edition or published ebook version then please ignore this part of my review, as some formatting changes can occur between the version provided to early reviewers and the final, published version).

While I loved this book as a whole for its humor, insight, compassion, brashness, courage, empathy, education, and honesty, I can recognize that a cisgendered bisexual white Gen X woman isn’t the target audience for this book. Zane himself is a Millennial, and it’s evident by the colloquialisms, vernacular, and pop culture references sprinkled liberally throughout the book that the target demographic he and the publishers are shooting for are other Millennials, Gen-Zs, and lower. I’d argue that’s okay. That’s even great. I’m up to date enough on pop culture and the other terms that I didn’t feel confused or out of touch, but I could see how other people my age might be, if they aren’t the type of people to listen to Charli XCX and Kim Petras and binge Drag Race.

This book can be a touch chaotic, but I think the value it holds as a memoir, a teaching tool, and maybe even a literary friend when you think you’re all alone in the world and questioning your sexuality and/or identity is far more important than how it’s put together. It’s relatable, funny, impassioned, and honest. So, even though I know this book wasn’t written with me in mind, I know it’s perfect for a whole lot of people out of there who really need to read what Zachary Zane has to say.

I was provided a copy of this title by NetGalley and the author. All thoughts, opinions, views, and ideas expressed herein are mine and mine alone. Thank you.

File Under: LGBTQ Friendly Read/Autobiography/Memoir/Nonfiction

I really enjoyed Boy Slut. The title might make some people turn away, but I think it just added to how good this memoir was. The writing was just so real and realistic to me. I’m not a gay man, or bi, but I feel his experiences can connect anyone together. Overall I really enjoyed it and would definitely recommend it!

Thank you to Abrams for the ARC of Boyslut in exchange for an honest review. You know it’s gonna be good when you’re already highlighting sections in the Foreword.

Boyslut by Zachary Zane is an unabashed, wild and emotional journey, tackling sexual shame with a full body slam and putting the audience in a chokehold (it’s okay; we like it). It’s a brutally honest manifesto, a sexual history that reclaims power and puts desire front and center. Boyslut isn’t for those easily offended, though the shock value of the language wears off as it becomes normal, even aspirational. Still, it was a lot to take in and process and I felt at times overwhelmed, overjoyed and a little depressed (sometimes all three at once).

Zane, a self–proclaimed Boyslut, wasn’t always this way, and we’re whisked through a lifetime of anxiety, fumbles, and questions. As relatable as many of them are, and as much as Zane consistently urges the reader to do what is best for them, I couldn’t help but feel that the book was in some ways contributing to the very thing it fights against. The LGBTQIA+ community is built on people being ashamed of themselves, of fear of rejection, of confusion and loneliness and the search for some kind of belonging. Plenty of that comes from the outside, but plenty of it comes from the inside, within the community. I wish I could feel the level of confidence that Zane has, could harness it and ride it all the way home, but I don’t know how. And reading this book made me feel like there’s just another unattainable standard I have to live up to to be the right kind of gay.

But that’s not Zane’s job to fix, and so I want to be careful placing a burden on him that doesn’t belong there. This memoir is so many things - it’s education, it’s community, it’s the advice of a friend, the encouragement to look within and start unpacking all those dusty boxes to move them out. I laughed the whole time. We need way more of this sex-positive liberation and uninhibited discourse about anything and everything. It’s hard to be vulnerable, to hold nothing back, to share the most tender parts of ourselves. If there’s one thing that binds us together, it’s that while we all may not walk the exact same path, we’ve all grappled with ourselves as different and are all in some stage of accepting what is. That lived experience is universal, and brings us closer, makes that belonging much more tangible. Maybe being a Boyslut is a state of mind, an endeavor to fight for, as impossible as it seems. And while I don’t think I’m a Boyslut yet, I’m happy to count one (or many) among my friends.

The self proclaimed manifesto from sex columnist Zachary Zane, Boyslut, while entertaining was a bit of a let down for me.
The Positives: I really enjoyed the candidness around sexuality and it was written in way that felt very open and honest in first person POV. There was also some good insight on things that some people don't like to talk about like the complexities of bottoming, the risk of STi's when you're sexually active and the hunger that comes with being single and looking to get laid as much as you can. I also love any type of LGBTQ+ representation so the fact that this was a book with a Bi viewpoint was a plus.

The cons: It felt like the same point was being beaten over and over again and in an almost non-inclusive way? It is the authors manifesto about bi visibility and to be fair that point of view was the focus but it was almost dismissive to people who chose to "conform" to "normative" relationships Sure there are many pros about being poly, ENM and open relationships but for those who choose to be monogamous, they're written as archaic close-minded squares who are better off leaning into the new wave of relationships lest they be cheated on any minute now. While trying to express his own identity there were lots of things that were brushed aside as less then, including almost writing off the idea of being cautious with contracting STI's because rubber impedes the author to cum.
Whether you love it or feel some kind of way about it, Boyslut will make you laugh, think and question intent which in the end, a book like this succeeded in doing.

Thanks for the ARC! out 5/9/2023

Sex columnist and self-identified BOYSLUT Zachary Zane has written a memoir/manifesto guaranteed to ruffle some feathers. Equal parts personal narrative and social commentary, Boyslut is Zane's answer to the lack of media addressing the needs of male sexuality. In this entertaining and illuminating collection of essays, Zane seeks to remove the shame that many men experience surrounding their sexual desires, especially those felt by Queer, Bi, and Pan men. However, one does not need to be queer or male to benefit from the wisdom imparted in these pages; at its core, Boyslut is a clarion call to the masses to embrace their sexuality and explore their desires free of stigma regardless of gender or orientation.
A forewarning for the faint of heart and the prude, this book is not for you, or maybe you could benefit the most from its message. The book contains graphic descriptions of sexual activity between all genders and frequently uses profane and reclaimed language. I absolutely loved this book and will carry the lessons learned between its pages with me as I go forward in my sexual journey. That being said, not everyone will agree with Zane's message, and some portions are likely to cause controversy, such as his relaxed position on condoms. But as clearly stated in the title, this is his manifesto, his outlook alone, and readers are encouraged to find their journey and to engage in behavior that feels comfortable to them. Again this book is about removing the shame around sex, including the shame that some might feel about needing extra precautions to feel safe during sexual encounters.

Disclosure: I received a complimentary ARC of this book through Netgalley. My review is my honest opinion.

Zachary Zane's Boyslut was an experience that was unexpected, but certainly not unwelcome. I will say, when I first requested to review this book, the writing and content was not necessarily what I had in mind. However, I am always welcome to learning more within any field of information, so definitely a book I don't regret finishing.

While I do believe Zane's appeal to the shock factor was a key factor that drove one to stay hooked onto the next story of intrigue, the casual colloquial was definitely not unappreciated, and made the novel feel like a friendly conversation compared to a daunting analysis. Even with said leniency on typical writing standards, none of it felt unwise-- all of Zane's arguments and points made sense, and he was able to communicate his perspective calmly while maintaining a personality within his writing. Particularly, his appeal to authority with mentions of past experiences, both in his professional and sexual life, allowed for the audience to be able to get a better, first hand sense of what they are trying to learn about by reading.

I would argue that, despite not falling into the target demographic for the novel directly, there's no reason for that to prevent anyone from enjoying their time reading this book. As Zane mentioned towards the beginning, the book is generally for anyone interested in learning more about what it means to be bisexual and polyamorous in today's society, or more specifically, a "Boyslut". It also serves as a backdrop on an already-expounding emphasis on sexual liberation, especially with a focus on unspoken sectors of queer spaces. I especially recommend this book to anyone who craves for more information on what sexual desire and exploration means for bisexuals and those practicing polyamory, as well as to anyone who is down for dirty jokes and casual dialect woven throughout.

I wanted to like this so much more than I did. This felt a bit disjointed at time, kind of like it was a collection of essays masquerading as a cohesive memoir. There were some really funny, laugh out loud moments sprinkled throughout, but unfortunately the writing style is what lost me. The author tried to speak directly to the reader far too often through try-hard, cringey jokes that were both unnecessary and really not that funny. It felt like the writing style undercut the potential power these stories held.

A potentially valuable book that yet significantly undermines its own value.

Of course sexual shame is as pervasive and as damaging as Zane argues, and much of the information and advice here seems likely to benefit people who take it to heart. Most people probably know at least one man who suffers from “normative male alexithymia,” for example – the problem of not recognizing and being able to express one’s own feelings – and simply having that problem identified might start the process of undoing it. And practically everyone in the world would, in my opinion as well as Zane’s, be a lot happier if we could talk about sex as openly as we talk about, say, tastes in food, or how to cook a particular dish. I agree, too, that sexual shaming is destructive. Plenty of people need to hear that there’s nothing wrong with their fantasies or with their (consensual) sex of any variety.

Three aspects of this book undermine its messages and its value. One is technical: incompetent editing. Whoever prepared this manuscript doesn’t know how “blond” and “blonde” work, or how many exclamation points is too damn many, or how to use hyphens, for starters; also, overall the prose needs tightening up.

The other two aspects are substantive. (1) I agree with Zane’s general point that in principle there’s nothing wrong with depictions of explicit sex, either written or visual. But labor conditions for sex workers are generally suboptimal, and to leave that unacknowledged and unaddressed strikes me as careless, as in uncaring. It wouldn’t have gone amiss to offer tips for how to identify porn producers who treat their actors well, for example.

(2) Zane takes a cavalier attitude toward antibiotic-resistant gonorrhea. This is inexcusable. Gonorrhea has already become resistant to one class of antibiotics (https://www.cdc.gov/std/gonorrhea/arg/default.htm), and every avoidable infection now being treated with cephalosporins represents another tiny increment toward resistance to those as well. I’m sorry Zane has a hard time coming with a condom on, but them’s the breaks if he wants to behave responsibly, not only toward his partners but also toward readers of his advice column and of this book.