NetGalley Review, DNF 1/2 way through

Not for me but may be for someone else. I wasn’t fond of the authors approach. I am a 43 yr old without kids, I don’t relate to the author or her words, I could not finish.

Thank you Sounds True Publishing and NetGalley for this ARC.

This informative, open book was thought provoking and came to me through a curiosity of choices made by women as well as wanting to understand more of circumstances that are made for some women.

An interesting, well rounded book which I am grateful for reading.

It took me a very long time to finish this book, though not as long as it took me to get comfortable with identifying as a woman without kids.

If you’re still figuring out that identity, or even if you just feel bitter about your place in a world that values women as mothers above all else, the author is here for you. This book is about women without kids and obviously skews toward that perspective, but what this book does best is remember to include ALL women, including those with kids, in the conversation.

Some of it got a little exhausting (clearly since I couldn’t finish it??) and repetitive, because there are only so many ways you can say fuck a capitalist society that treats women as objectified breeders and keeps us from building the kinds of villages that raise children best. Ruby Warrington knows this, and she tries to give us a different perspective, but as much as this felt like a rallying cry at times, it isn’t exactly revolutionary outside of its existence and popularity.

I also didn’t love the focus on not wanting kids as a response to not only childhood trauma but trauma so deep we never thought of it as such until, conveniently, a therapist (or TikTok) tells you it is. Repression is certainly real and harmful, but not everything is trauma! The idea that a childhood that’s anything besides idyllic is traumatic enough to cause women to not want kids? There are a lot of reasons why women don’t want kids, so it rubbed me the wrong way that so much space was devoted to what felt trendy in the kinds of internet circles where this book will play well.

This book is doing itself a disservice with the “celestial family” stuff — just like trauma repression, generational and inherited trauma are very real, but carrying out the spiritual wishes a great great aunt you never met to end the family line of women suffering is quite the leap. This felt like something that was very personal and healing for the author, so I don’t begrudge her that. But had it been told as more personal/memoir-y and less of a teaching moment, it probably would have made a greater impact.

This book overall presents a lot of teaching moments and reads like a self-help book often. I don’t think that’s necessarily a bad thing, but as someone coming to this already having made my decision about not having kids, I wasn’t expecting so much of my reading experience to feel like a workbook. I’m not quite sure who the target audience is.

All that being said, books like Women Without Kids need to exist. We need to be talking about this more, respecting women as whole people outside of their reproductive capabilities, living more conscientiously both with and without kids. Warrington does a great job reminding us that we’re all in this together and we have a responsibility to do better by each other.

thanks to NetGalley for the e-ARC ❣️

As a woman without kids, I was expecting to really relate to this book and I just didn't. I felt like the author's opinions and experiences were so different from my own. I think this may be geared toward younger readers (not middle-aged).

I've never dreamed of having children. Just never wanted them. This whole book just feels like an honest and open coffee chat with a friend who really "gets it" about the topic.

While I enjoyed the questions Ruby raises about what it means to choose to be child-free, the framing of this as a “radical sisterhood” was frustrating when queer communities have lead in this project for uhhh a long time! The sparse intersectionality in this book borders on ableist TERF territory for me and some of this writing felt too self-indulgent, which was distracting. This truly is a book by and for white women so if you identify that way (which i do) and are questioning if/when to ever have kids in this life, there is something here.

Edit/TLDR: After reading other reviews, I agree it missed the mark by being too self-help oriented and not telling the stories of those surveyed and reporting the data around childless women.

As someone who is choosing to not have children, I’m always interested in reading books that have similar beliefs and viewpoints. This book was fantastic and was so refreshing to read from someone who gets why it’s okay not to want children and to choose not to!

A compelling important read a look at the discussions the judgements when a woman decides she has no desire to have children.People’s reactions to a woman who will never desire to be a mom is judge mental questioning.The author has written an open honest revealing book of her life her decision to not have children and her happiness with her choice.This is so well written so interesting perfect for discussion,#netgalley#womenwithoutkids

Great!
As a child free by choice person I enjoy reading books like this and I think it was worth the read and would recommend

This book gave me a sense of validation and belonging i didn't know i sought. I personally think a lot of women without kids do not want kids due to some form of mommy issues ... the relationship between a mother and daughter is deeply complex and it really makes or breaks a person, if that makes sense. I love my mother more than anyone in this world, although I can't say we have the best relationship, even within our family of five.

I grew up in a highly family-oriented culture and upbringing, and growing up, marrying a man and having kids has always been the natural order of things. It wasn't until I became a full-fledged adult, perhaps after college, that I began to think that didn't have to be my life, my future. I often change my mind about a lot of things but in this decision i am as sure as i can ever be, I do not want to be pregnant and give birth. (For a lot of reasons, but mostly because of health concerns—mine and the hypothetical child's.) Hell, I don't even want to get married. Though that doesn't necessarily mean I don't want to be a mother. If ever (in ten or so years from now) I have the financial, emotional, and social security, and maybe a co-parent, then I will consider adopting a child. I'm not sure this area in the Motherhood Spectrum (as Ruby Warrington calls it) was explored in the book.

Women Without Kids is a much needed read for any woman who has ever had doubts or regrets about having kids. Though I do feel it's a little longer than necessary and sounds repetitive at times. I started reading this for Women's history month but it took me a while to finish. I'd definitely recommend it!

Did not finish. First chapter was interesting then felt it went downhill and it lost my interest. I am a woman without kids but the writing style was just not a fit for me.

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Sounds True Publishing for the eARC of <i>Women Without Kids</i> by Ruby Warrington in exchange for an honest review. As I feel my 30s starting to slowly creep up on me, I find myself in situations where I’m made to think about the topic of having children more than I used to. I’m made aware of biological clocks and not only is having children a conversation but the decision to freeze my eggs “just in case” is also looming.

I don’t really know what to make of not feeling the push to have kids. In my friend group, I would say it’s about even. A couple of my friends have kids as well as so many girls I went to high school and college with but there are also a lot of people in my social circle who don’t have kids and probably won’t any time soon. Enough about me aside, I thought that this book was well-researched and provided a lot of insight into possible reasons I didn’t even realize I had deep down for not wanting children.

For example, the chapters about found families and sexual liberations stood out to me the most. There are so many areas in my life where I feel fulfilled and people that I know who check in on me and vice versa. I love the idea of having a partner and companionship but I don’t feel a child-sized hole to fill. Something else that stood out to me was the testimonials about growing up in a single-parent household. I grew up in one and while I know my mother loved us and gave us a good life, I also remember how tired she was. Motherhood did not seem appealing to me but it felt like something that just had to be done.

Perhaps the biggest reason mentioned here for why people don’t want children is the state of the world. Initially, I would say that was the main reason by now that I think about it, there are other reasons to not have them.

Ultimately, I thought this book was enjoyable. It feels like something I would read only once though because it wasn’t that engaging. It’s an easy book to get through and it was nice feeling a kindred spirit here.

Thanks to the author and publisher for the ARC, I really looked forward to reviewing this one. I loved her book Sober Curious, which really focused on the culture obsessed with drinking and taking a fresh perspective. She doesn't disappoint with Women Without Kids. I really liked how she wove in a lot of historical context, medical research, and cultural commentary. Though I didn't expect this to be a "how to be a happy woman without kids," I guess I was expecting a bit more of a rallying point that the book connected back to, it just fell a bit flat with the so what? aspect for me.

A very good read. As someone who is childfree by choice, it is difficult to find people who "get it." While we all have our different reasons, some not in our control, we are still seen as the other, as sad and lonely, as someone who will one day regret not having children (or will never be complete without them). I appreciated this book, and all of the stories Ruby shared, both hers and others'.' I wish this was a conversation more people were willing to have, or maybe that one day it just won't be needed. People can just live their lives and not feel less than (either consciously or unconsciously) simply because they can't/won't/don't want to have children.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for a digital ARC in exchange for an honest review.

MOST COMPELLING READ OF THE YEAR

I felt seen and understood by this book and it validated me in ways I didn’t even know I needed. It was so much more than I’d hoped for. Ruby offered empathy, new ways of thinking, and the chance to slip off the cloak of shame that I’ve worn by entertaining the possibility of not having children and what that means about me.
Instead I got to try on for size a brand new coat- one that fits much better where you get to think differently and remind yourself that we all have the right to consider our own wellbeing and how we might best thrive in this life- and for some that is without children. Doesn’t make you any less of a woman!

Of course no book can tell someone whether or not to have children but importantly it never tries to.. Ruby never speaks for other women who don’t or can’t have kids. Instead she got alongside them and celebrated their unique stories, interweaving their voices with her own into a beautiful and empowering read. I wish I could post this whole book as a response to the people who have made me feel less than whole for not having children. I know they don’t always do it knowingly but this book would blow their mind and I think that is so needed!

I can’t imagine the bravery required to write a book that goes against the status quo and I can only commend and thank the author endlessly for the efforts she has gone to to share her own experiences , thoughts, and important works of other women who have gone before her. I look forward to reading more of her work!

Her explanation of how our capitalist society has used and abused mothers made so much sense I wanted to shout it from the rooftops. It helped me make so many links with women in history who have gone against the grain and been seen as less than. As much as making a stand this book felt like a celebration but not in the way people might expect. It’s not all ‘yay I don’t have kids’ but a thorough and compelling dive into why less and less women are having children and why this seems to be a problem for many. What if instead of panicking this means the end of civilisation it could be reframed as a revolutionary moment in time where women have the opportunity to heal the impact of patriarchy for future generations. The author's ideas made me curious and gave me hope about the potential of the future and a society where a woman's worth is not tied to their ability to procreate.

Thank you to NetGalley, Sounds True Publishing, and author, Ruby Warrington for providing an advanced copy in exchange for an honest review. Women Without Kids: The Revolutionary Rise of an Unsung Sisterhood is out on March 28, 2023.

As someone who has her children late in life with a great deal of medical help, I heard many of the opinions and attitudes expressed in this book before becoming a mother. The author writes with such understanding and clarity.

I'm 45 years old and not forming a family and having children wasn't the plan my entire life. I'd be lying if I said it was. It just didn't happen before I hit 40. I didn't find a suitable partner to build a family before that and I've always known I didn't wanna do it alone. I've made my peace with the fact I won't have children, it's not on the cards and I'm fine with that. There're other factors too that would make impossible for me to be a single mother nowadays; some of which are mentioned in this book. Insightful read 👏

Ruby Warrington has written the book that I have been preaching my entire life. There is more to life than being a mother. Women are more than vessels for reproduction.

This book is not a guide or how-to, but rather a "this is why I do this'.

And I loved every single page and word.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publishers for the opportunity to read and review this book.

This review is a tough one for me. I have noticed recently (in the last year, really) that books about feminist topics are no longer something I enjoy as much. Not because of them, but because of me. I've learnt and read so much about these topics, that most feel too surface-level for me because of the knowledge I already have. So definitely a me problem.

Still, this book disappointed me a little. Because no matter how much I've read about feminism, I've never read a whole book dedicated to this topic and it still didn't feel like it was THE book.
It's hard to say "that's wrong" because if it's someone else's experience, then it isn't necessarily wrong. But there were quite a lot of things in this book I cannot agree with and that made me dislike the book a little.

Overall, not the book for me but I can recognise people might enjoy this as an starting point when it comes to talking about this taboo topic.

Thanks to NetGalley for an eARC of this book.

I'm not even sure where to start with a review for this book, except to say that I absolutely loved it. I didn’t quite realize how starved I was for a book that celebrated being child-free until Women Without Kids. The validation and excitement I experienced while reading this book seriously had me feeling like I could kick a door clean off the hinges - I was PUMPED. The author’s emotional vulnerability and sharing of her internal thoughts about family and her experiences that informed her decision were extremely validating; I am very thankful for this. Also, I will by default enjoy any book that can discuss academic research while also using curse words.

Beyond that, this book is a thorough examination of the experiences and power that being a woman without children can provide. Which, honestly, can be hard to find in our society; it seems that many times when women without children share their joy in being child-free or (gasp) dare to be annoyed when people ask "When are you going to have kids? You'll die alone. You'll never know real love," we are met with defensive and (more) insulting comments. But Warrington provides a safe space for women to feel empowered, revolutionary, and badass in their decision to live a life without children.

Warrington also manages to address not only the varying personal reasons one may have for not becoming a mother, but societal reasons of why being a mother is so dang hard, all without making the choice to be a mother (or lack of choice if anti-choice politicians have anything to say about it) seem wrong or like a betrayal to feminism. She argues the importance of pro-family policies that would lessen the burden on women and families to thrive under our current system.

I also loved the prompts that are embedded throughout the text to help women who maybe haven't made up their minds yet to help them really reflect and process their thoughts/feelings/past experiences/etc. to determine if those are compatible with the demands of motherhood. Honestly, even women who have always known they *would* be mothers would benefit from reflecting on the questions the author poses. Far too many people do not actually think about what signing up for the lifelong journey of motherhood actually entails.

To summarize, I highly recommend this book to anyone who has chosen or had the choice made for them to not have children, as well as anyone on the fence about it. The message of empowerment and sisterhood is something every woman without children needs. Withered childless crones unite!