Stories of transgender and non-binary joy are so important, especially as political anti-trans tensions rise, and this was done very well.

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for granting me free access to the advanced digital copy of this book, as this book has already been published, I will not share my review on Netgalley at this time.

An absolutely heartfelt, emotive and stunning collection about trans joy and the way we can share it with those around us. A wonderful read from beginning to end.

This is a lovely compilation of happy little seasonal journal entries by a trans author. It's really wonderfully affirming, and is a great peek into honest feelings, real struggles, good friendships, healthy relationships, and a really ultimately positive story. Highly recommended, especially for trans folks looking for some optimism in the world.

I read a digital copy of this book for review.

Through a series of uplifting, generous and beautifully crafted vignettes, T. C. Oakes-Monger gently leads you through the cycle of the seasons - beginning in Autumn and the shedding of leaves and identity, moving through the darkness of Winter, its cold days, and the reality of daily life, into Spring, newness, and change, and ending with the joy of long Summer days and being out and proud - and invites you to find similar moments of joy in your life.

Celebratory and empowering, these stories are a reminder of the power joy can bring.

Fabulous!

Before Tash transitioned, they never believed that they’d be able to have all the wonderful things that life can bring. How wrong they were. This beautiful collection of anecdotes and candid stories explore transition, the reality of body dysmorphia and how trans people find their tribe. There are some truly stunning images of freedom, peace and joy in this book that melted my heart. There’s a lovely message about making the impossible possible and it’s a sentiment that I think most people under the trans umbrella will be able to relate to. It’s a splash of trans positivity that we need in our cruel world.

(Non-trans reviewer)

Joy, need there be another word? Because, as others have said before me, this little book was joyful to read. It's a book that opens up for more, let's us know that, even when things are rough, there is happiness to be found. There are places to be only you and where you are important and welcome. The space can be small or large, clear or foggy. But it's there. And imagine if all spaces could be safe and joyful for all.

I also liked the format of the book and the little stories were a good length.

/ Denise

This is a lovely collection of positive stories about the Trans journey. In a world that can sometimes focus on the negative, this joyful book is a highlight. A small book with a large impact.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for they ARC in exchange for an honest review.

This book was lovely. So many wholesome, affirming stories and love throughout the book. There were minimal hand drawn items throughout that tied into stories. I especially loved how affirming the author and partners were during this memoir.

A quick, lovely read.

"I do not think joy is a luxury...I would go so far as to say that it is utterly essential."

This book was truly such a joy to read and savor. I loved all these little essays and stories and personal exercises that together show a joy-filled life. It's about friendship and partnership and kinship and all the little and big things that make our lives. The prose here is beautiful and I highlighted so many lines. What a wonderful little book!

I received an advanced reader copy of the All the Things They Said We Couldn't Have by Tash Oakes-monger in exchange for an honest review.

“I have curated my body, and in doing so I have come to live in it again”

Tash Oakes-monger wrote All the Things They Said We Couldn't Have to collect and share stories of trans joy. So much of trans representation in the media is about our pain and our struggles, so a book like this is significant and refreshing. Tash relates their experiences, curated by season rather than chronology. I liked that format. Even if things were out of order the book still felt cohesive.

Being trans can be isolating and scary, but this collection will be a great reminder for trans people that they are not alone, and that their lives will be filled with joy. Thank you NetGalley and Jessica Kingsley Publishers for the advanced reader copy.

All the Things They Said We Couldn’t Have is a gorgeous collection of essays and stories centering the joy of being trans. Tash Oakes-monger is a trans, nonbinary British writer. They don’t sidestep the difficulties of being trans in a hostile world, but illuminate the joy and life that comes with existing in the world as your true self.

I found myself starting each morning by reading a couple of selections. I find value in joy for its own sake, and it is the reason we keep going. Oakes-Monger puts joy on every page. They share stories of swimming in the ocean, community coming together to navigate bureaucracy, finding clothes that feel like them, and helping others do the same.

I don’t want anything I say in the following paragraph to imply that I think the oppression I face is the same as or as bad as the oppression faced by trans and nonbinary people. I am punished for my social transgressions by being told that I am not good enough, not that I shouldn’t exist. In much smaller ways, I know the joy of being myself in the world, when I have told to be someone different. I know the joy of find people with whom I share that commonality. I know the joy of being seen and accepted when that hasn’t been my experience. It’s a joy I wish for everyone.

Tash Oakes-Monger wrote an opinion piece asking what would be possible if trans and non-binary people didn’t have to spend so much of their lives just trying to exist.

Imagine what we could be if the world didn’t stifle us.

Imagine if we could breathe fully, and always.

All the Things They Said We Couldn’t Have offers something of an answer by focusing on the joy they and their community have now in a country trying to legislate them out of existence. It’s a beautiful book. I highly recommend it for everyone.

CW: reality of transphobia in the background, COVID-19 pandemic referenced, dysphoria, loneliness, poverty, systemic barriers, medical discrimination

I received this as an advance reader copy from Jessica Kingsley Publishers and NetGalley. My opinions are my own, freely and honestly given.

This book immediately became my first 5 star read of 2023 and it’s only January - it’s going to be really tough to top this.

I absolutely adored this book, and as testament I immediately messaged Tash when I finished it to generally gush about how much I loved it. Right now, the world feels dangerous, knowing that whenever you go on twitter there’s likely some debate, some trending tag, about why trans people shouldn’t be allowed to exist. I can’t imagine that anyone who read this book could possibly think that. This is pure joy, through and through. Every page filled me with hope that there might be resistance, but honouring of your authentic self will always be a greater act of rebellion and love than any bigot could muster.

Thank you, Tash. And I will be making that soup.

*eARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review*

this book was really really wonderful. i finished it feeling so hopeful and inspired that i have a future as a trans adult and that i can be happy. the author's writing style was really beautiful. i loved how grounded in the everyday it felt, while integrating how being trans affects everyday life. also the community focus was really great.
i liked the structure of the book round the seasons, and its focus on nature. i'd have liked it to be longer though; also i sometimes got confused near the start of the book when the author only mentioned their friends by names and didn't say who they were.

Honestly, I was kinda let down by this one. I'm not sure what I expected but I'm not sure this book was satisfying for me. I feel really bad about it because in my opinion, this book was on the verge of being amazing. I loved the idea of a trans experience being shown through seasons and how that could express the inherent messiness that comes with a trans narrative. But unfortunately the idea wasn't developed how I would have liked and there was no clear explanation why certain stories were told in certain seasons rather than others. There was a lot of visuals, but just as a movie can't rely on good visuals to substitute for a mid or lackluster story, good prose can't replace good pacing of anecdotal storytelling. There was no sense of pace and we would read about something very recent and then something a long time ago without a clear explanation that left me feeling confused and unsatisfied throughout most of the book. There were certain times I thought the prose of explaining trans joy was very impressive, but then when I thought about it everything came down to the prose. I felt most of the stories were told for a cis audience to explain what trans joy is like, rather than for trans people to feel seen and welcome. I think the author could do really well in poetry or writing trans stories in verse, but honestly I didn't think this format worked very well. It's a shame because I think there were elements that could be really good, I just didn't see them. This author is very talented, I just think it could use better pacing and better explored styling. All that comes with practice which I have no doubt is possible for them.

There are not enough of these books in the world. Centered on Oakes-Monger's life experiences and split into the four seasons with little illustrations sprinkled throughout, this book is affirming and filled with hope. I thought the anecdotes were well-written. You get glimpses of different points in their life, not in any chronological order.

That's not to say the author doesn't also acknowledge the pain, sadness, and fear that is part of their journey. The author very clearly states that this is their experience and that trans people are all different.

Maybe they are one of the lucky ones who found community, family, and shared support, but all trans people deserve joy and security.

There was something comforting about this book.

Thank you to @netgalley and @jkpbooks for this ARC. This review is my honest opinion.

This is such a wholesome book. It's gentle and soft and and simply joyous. I loved it. To me this is trans joy at its best. I picked this up and didn't put it back down until I'd finished it. It's short read but definitely an impactful one.

I particularly liked that it was written in seasons, the journey felt complete despite not being linear. It's also just brimming with creativity, there's a rather lovely poetic language style, beautiful illustrations and some cute activity prompts which are all lovely touches. I'll definitely be recommending this one and purchasing a copy myself when released.

Thank you to Netgalley and Jessica Kingsley Publishers for the eARC in exchange for an honest review.

I am all about queer/trans joy and this intimate book, as you can imagine based on the title, is full of it! I especially loved the following themes:

-Joy is not a luxury, but essential.

-Transitioning is not an individual process with a start and finish, but a community undertaking grounded in solidarity. "A collective, a library, a choir."

-The trans community is like the seasons - new and ancient, history and future, inevitable, beautiful, and inextricably linked to growth and change. I especially loved the seasonal format, descriptions, and art!

-Queerness is magic. Especially how we think beyond, exist in a betwixt space, and challenge the rigidness of the world.

-The healing power of play!

-The physical preservation of trans joy through art.



This book was absolutely fabulous and I highly recommend it!

This is a beautifully descriptive, poetic book about trans joy! Moments from the mundane to the monumental are celebrated so eloquently. Sharing memories and experiences of living as a transgender human being that are insightful and emotional.
The author is so fortunate to be surrounded by such a loving and supportive community of trans friends and allies. This is a truly jubilant collection of good times savoured even during hard times. Simply the most heartwarming book I’ve ever read!

This is the first book I have read about trans joy and it was so delightful to read! After I finished it, I just felt like I got a big ole' hug. I have been reading more trans focused books this year, fiction and nonfiction, and they often are so trauma centered, because they deal with so. many traumatic things in day to day life. This book was both refreshing and vitally important, I literally want to buy this for ever trans or queer person I know. And all the straight people that act like being trans is simply a horrible mistake. Love, love, loved this so much! Highly recommend and will be purchasing for loved ones. I want everyone to be able to experience the joy that shines through this book and refused to be overshadowed by darkness.