A thoughtful exploration of the discrimination and misconceptions bisexual men often face, giving them a voice.

"Bisexual Men Exist" by Vaneet Mehta is a powerful and necessary exploration of a often underrepresented aspect of human sexuality. Mehta's writing is insightful and thought-provoking as he sheds light on the experiences, challenges, and triumphs of bisexual men. The book's compassionate approach and candid narratives create an inclusive and supportive space for readers to gain a deeper understanding of this often misunderstood identity. Mehta's dedication to amplifying diverse voices and advocating for visibility is commendable, making "Bisexual Men Exist" an essential read for anyone interested in promoting inclusivity, empathy, and acceptance in our society.

I wasn't sure what I'd personally get out of this book, seeing it's a topic I've been aware of already, but this was a really informative read, and I think it will be a great starting point for a lot of people. The book was logically structured, delving into one larger theme at a time, and very readable, which is not always the case with non-fiction. I'd highly recommend this!

4.5 stars rounded up

This is both a valuable resource for bi and m-spec men in exploring their identities and understanding m-spec experiences in society, and a vital educational resource for everyone else. It is written in a conversational style that nonetheless accomplishes several deep analyses of the current contexts for m-spec struggles. While the author does not sugarcoat the difficulties experiences by m-spec men, there are also stories of progress and hope.

The book begins with a discussion on lack of media representation for m-spec identities but especially m-spec men: “Any characters who showed indications of being attracted to more than one gender were either left ambiguous or forced into either straight or gay.” I enjoyed this media analysis, which dissected such tropes as the “depraved bisexual,” “no bisexuals,” “ambiguously bi,” “just an experiment,” and “anything that moves.” It also covers news coverage and representation in education material, including the lack of acknowledgement about real-life people (present and historical), and the impact of Section 28 in the UK and the ongoing lack of LGBTQ+ education for young people.

There’s a lot of examination of areas of friction for m-spec men, both from heteronormative society and within queer communities, as well as the ways faith and heritage can prove an obstacle to acceptance when they create create cultures of shame or secrecy. The necessity of intersectionality is emphasised, with a focus on BIPOC, trans and ace m-spec men. However I would have liked to see more robust inclusion of disability in that conversation (hence not a full five stars).

There is a very important discussion about the barriers to mental health support faced by m-spec men, both in terms of structural accessibility issues as well as the risks of experiencing queerphobic, m-spec erasure and pathologisation from healthcare providers. It also covers the ways that erasure, the ‘cycle of invisibility’ and ‘exclusion by inclusion’ are barriers to physical, especially sexual, healthcare.

A wonderful breath of fresh air. A book that really cares about the diversity of its audience and you can really tell the author was invested in doing his best to make as many people as possible feel represented. I loved the film and tv talk at the start, an easy and engaging way to begin, and it was nice to have some of the gaps in history filled in about bi men (but also bi people in general)
Particularly loved the section on bi ace/aro people as that community is left out a lot, same for bi nonbinary people too. Even though this book was aimed at bi men, i still felt very seen as a bi person in general. Would have loved more insight into being bi and disabled (as a disabked reader) but i understand theres only so much that can be put into a novel and hope to see more books that approach that intersection in the future.
Will be reviewing on youtube ! Youtube.com/@artiecarden

Vaneet Mehta takes a very thorough approach in this book to discussing issues that affect bisexual and m-spec men, cis and trans, as well as bisexual and m-spec nonbinary people who are read as men in society.

While very little of the information was new to me, it was presented in a very clear, organized way that I appreciated a lot. I also appreciated the use of a lot of studies and statistics to back up Mehta's points as a common struggle when it comes to discussing bisexual issues is people insisting that the issue is not real until they're presented with hard statistics (and sometimes even then, honestly).

While this book isn't groundbreaking or totally comprehensive, it strikes a great balance between informative and conversational tones, it has a long list of references at the back, and it is overall a great starting point for discussing issues that affect bisexual men.

I didn't agree with all of the author's conclusions about things, but he was always respectful to his contributors and presented their stories without judgment or editorializing, which was very refreshing.

Overall, I definitely recommend Bisexual Men Exist.

It is hard for me to review this book because the subject matter is of intense personal and professional interest to me. I don't think I've come across another book quite like this one before. I've read several nonfiction texts about bisexual people and the issues they face, but I don't think I've ever seen one devoted entirely to bi men. Typically, there's maybe one chapter of the book specifically about this sub-population. So, I was very excited to come across this title on NetGalley and scoop up an advanced copy.

Research on bi men is scarce, which makes sense given the level of erasure this community experiences. I learned this the hard way when working on my thesis in graduate school. So, I was curious about how the author would be able to fill an entire book. I loved the approach taken to combine the available research with personal stories from the author and a variety of other bi men. It added a level of intimacy that nonfiction works don't always have and highlighted the wonderful diversity found in the community.

The laser focus on bi men in the book allowed for a deeper explanation of the issues this group faces. It covered a wide variety of topics, including representation/education, coming out, and relationship dynamics. The health and mental health of bi men was explored, as well, and the author did a great job of explaining the disparities bi men experience and the barriers that make them worse. The various impacts of systemic oppression were highlighted, including the role of phallocentrism, monosexism, heterosexism, and sexism/misogyny in perpetuating negative stereotypes about bi men. My favorite part of the book, though, was the in-depth look at intersectionality. The discussion of the specific experiences of BIPOC and trans bi men was one of the most thorough I've ever read, and I learned a lot from it.

Despite the book having a ton of depressing information in it, I found the overall tone to be quite hopeful. The author made sure to highlight areas of improvement in recent years and outlined ways to make further progress. All of the stories illustrated how hard it can be as a bi man, but they also showed the things that can make it rewarding and the power that comes from living as your authentic self even when it is difficult.

Overall, this was a great primer on issues of relevance to bi men. I think it should be required reading for all men questioning their sexuality, but everyone would learn a lot from the information and stories contained in its pages. The writing was a bit too conversational/informal and repetitive at times, mostly because the topics overlap quite a bit, but it was all easy to read and understand while being loaded with information. We need more books like this one! Therefore, I rate the book 5 out of 5 stars.

I thoroughly enjoyed this book. Mehta examines the m-spec experience from a variety of angles, from coming out, to existing in queer spaces, bi-erasure and an examination of intersectionality of m-spec, poc and a-spec issues.

Mehta's book also contains interwoven examples and snippets from members of the m-spec community I found really gave a unique perspective and human dimension to the book. I think more books should definitely be written on the subject but Bisexual Men Exist is a really excellent entry and a must read for any m-spec person or anyone with an interest in understanding the challenges faced by m-spec individuals in today's society.

Bisexual Men Exist: A Handbook for Bisexual, Pansexual and M-Spec Men by Vaneet Mehta looks at the issues that bi, pan, and m-spec men face. It is a well-researched dismantling of misconceptions about bisexuality and a celebration of m-spec identities. While it is predominantly UK and US focused, it is intersectional in its approach and encompasses the experiences of m-spec men of colour that are so often overlooked even on the occasions when bi, pan, and m-spec people are considered to represented. Bisexual Men Exist is an excellent resource that I'd recommend to everyone looking to expand their knowledge of the bi+ spectrum.

Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for an ARC. This book was very informative and educational about the bias and trauma m-spec men have to go through. There were examples from various men from the US/UK. I’m personally a pansexual woman and I felt some parts of this book were helpful for me for my own identity, because pan/bi erasure is very much something I have had to deal with. I really wanted to read this book though to understand what bi/pan men have to deal with on a daily basis because I know the erasure for them is only worse. Good book to read if you want to learn more about the trials bisexual/pansexual men have to go through.

I am explicitly not share this review on good reads, I will when I feel ready to, but I don’t want to out myself. So I do apologise. I will get there.

This is a wonderful piece or work and resource. I’m really impressed with the ground covered in this. From LGBTQIA+ often “forgetting” the B, to the stereotypes, history, bigotry and tropes faced.
I am bisexual and gender queer, but also a woman, and I related a lot to this, even though it’s not written for me, I see myself in it. Bisexual men do face and have different and similar burdens to bisexual women. But I know how much my bisexual male friends have struggled with femininity. Patriarchy truly hurts us all.

Thank you for this, this will help many coming to terms with their sexuality