"Pinky arrived punctually and silently in a highly modified Tesla equipped with bulletproof glass, a sound system that could liquefy granite and a front seat customized to accommodate Pinky’s body, which weighed a tad over 430 pounds and measured nearly the same horizontally as vertically. Pinky, whose real name was Bob Kearful, had once been a standout nose tackle at the University of Florida and probably would have gone to the NFL had it not been for a crucial play in the Florida-Georgia game during which he bit off the little finger of a Georgia offensive guard and refused to spit it out. This conduct was deemed so unsportsmanlike that Pinky was permanently banned from the game, though it also earned him his nickname and the undying affection of Gator fans."

Florida Man re-appears after years away as a novelist, having written an incredibly funny book! Police bring him in for questioning.

Ok, let’s play Sunshine State Bingo

Rednecks with weapons, minimal brain cells, and dreams of gold – of course

Foreign-born gangsters with access to tech, and no access to decency – I am shocked, shocked

A crooked lawyer with expensive tastes and a serious gambling habit – no, never

A sleazy politician with White House ambitions and zero scruples – In Florida? Surely you jest.

An uber-vain stud-muffin with an uncontrtollable desire to doff his shirt for the camera, and zero desire to care for or protect his wife and child – a vanishing breed, I expect. Probably the last of his kind.

A group of internet-star wannabees who, while in various states of intoxication from alcohol and diverse other substances, concoct a plot to fake a monster sighting to boost business – oh, that never happens

A former news anchor reduced to covering things like the annual Florida Python challenge – not a happy camper. There were fewer opportunities in the time before blogs became de rigeur for the unwillingly unemployed media crowd

A nice guy who wants to be with the girl – Stop right there. Who let the normie in? Well, the male normie.

Snakes – Yep, and snakes were intended to have been even more of a presence

"Originally this book was going to be much snakier. Then I had breakfast with Carl [Hiaasen], and he had just finished writing “Squeeze Me.”
I said, what’s it about? And he said, it’s in Palm Beach and there are pythons. I said, are there a lot of pythons in it? And he said yes.
So in “Swamp Story” the missing Confederate gold treasure buried in the Everglades sort of replaced the pythons in the plot." - from the Tampa Bay Times interview

Gators – wouldn’t be a Florida novel without ‘em

A wild boar comfort pet – Wait, what?

Fictitious swamp monsters - you betcha

Buried Treasure – as noted above. Bet you didn’t have that one.

We meet Slater as he is struggling to videotape the mother of his child, and the child, as they are attacked by a giant python. But hold on, will ya, while we replace the camera batteries. It’ll only be a sec. The man lives for footage, preferably footage that includes his impressive torso but footage of his gf and baby being devoured by a giant reptile would also be pretty cool, don’t ya think?

"He wore a filthy pair of cut-off University of Florida sweatpants, nothing else. Yet he still looked better than 99.999 percent of all human males who had ever walked the Earth. He was strikingly handsome in a classic Tom Cruise—in–his–prime way—thick, jet-black hair; brilliant green eyes; high cheekbones; square jaw. He was tall, a foot taller than Cruise, and his body, despite the fact that he never seemed to do anything for it, was spectacular—lean, muscular and sculpted, the body of an elite athlete in peak condition."

Jesse knows she is in a dead-end relationship, but had not thought that would mean literally dead. As fortune would have it, though, during one of her walks with Willa, her nursing baby girl, fathered unfortunately by a narcissist who wants to be known as Glades Man, she stumbles across a buried treasure. Thank you, Jesus, a ticket out of the swamp version of bum-fu#$-nowhere. But how to go about getting the bars somewhere safe, and figuring out how to cash them in?

"Who inspired Slater?

There are a lot of Slater-like guys in Miami. There are large sections, a whole community of people who are all about looks, about appearance. Looks are very important in this town.
So he’s just the distilled essence of a million guys walking around admiring their own beauty
That’s the essence of Slater — to the people who are into reality TV, nothing is as important to them as this fake thing, reality TV, and now TikTok as well. They never experience anything for itself, it’s always, how can I use this to get myself on the internet, on people’s phones?"
- from the Tampa Bay Times interview

The Bortle brothers, owners of Bortle Brothers Bait & Beer, make their primary living selling weed, beer being in short supply, somehow, and the bait being maybe 50% dead. The loo could use a cleaning this millennium, too. They decide to make a video of a fake monster to draw the curious and idiotic, both groups known to spend money on things like Monster Man T-shirts. These guys sure know how to dream big. If you film it, they will come. And, of course, it happens. Their video goes viral, and the earth tilts on its axis, dumping the most loosely connected to the planet to the Everglades.

"Most of your books have been nonfiction, and your most recent novel for adults, “Insane City,” was published 10 years ago. What moved you to write another novel?
I do mostly nonfiction, but every now and then I switch to fiction. I always have a lot of ideas bouncing around in my head
A while ago I wrote this book, a nonfiction book, called “Best. State. Ever.” To research it I went to all these tourist attractions, but not the big ones, the little roadside attractions. I went to this one, the Skunk Ape museum, and it just sort of stuck in my mind.
I was walking around out in the Everglades with this guy, Dave Shealey. He’s the guy who saw the Skunk Ape and is selling the T-shirts.
I just kept thinking about this whole society existing out in the Everglades with this mythical monster out there. It just kept bouncing around in my mind as something you could write a story about."
- from the Tampa Bay Times interview

Now, about that gold. Everyone who is aware of it wants it, and that consists of mostly terrible people.

Dave Barry weaves all these upstanding individuals together, or maybe just tosses them into a blender. You know they will all come together for a rousing climax. Barry does not disappoint.

Will the Interior Secretary manage a successful launch of the Florida Python Challenge? Hmmm, I wonder. Where will the gold end up? Will Jesse escape with Willa to some sort of sane life? Will Slater become famous for his bod? Will the Bait & Beer make a killing selling tourist crap? Will sundry extreme criminals come to bad ends?

If you are looking for anything serious here, you are in the wrong swamp. If, however, you enjoy laughing until it hurts, this might just be the place for you. I lost count of the “LOL” notes in my Word file.

Slip on your bathing suit, slather on bug repellant, a LOT of bug repellant, take a few steps forward. The swamp water is cool and inviting. But if you see eyes looking back at you from the surface, you might want to step back up onto the the land, waaaay back, and make sure to look up, in case something large and hungry might be about to drop down on you from a Cypress tree.

Whether you take the opportunity to read Swamp Story near a beach, a pool, a comfy chair at home or in your favorite swamp, Dave Barry is one Florida Man you will want to spend some time with this summer.

"Ken Bortle was standing in the parking lot behind the Gallo Grande, waiting next to an overflowing dumpster baking in the late-afternoon Miami sun, emitting near-visible stench rays."

Review posted - 7/14/23

Publication date – 05/02/23

I received an ARE of Swamp Story from Simon & Schuster in return for a fair review, and a lead on some prime Florida real estate. Thanks, folks, and thanks to NetGalley for facilitating.

This book was a wild freaking ride. If you enjoy Will Ferrell movies, Zoolander or just a book full of shenanigans this it. Crooked Politicians, lost and found treasure, alligators, all in the everglades. Honestly just read it.

I had no idea what to expect going into reading Swamp Story and I was correct. This story is insanely chaotic and unbelievable but also believable at the same time cause, it’s Florida. All the crazy news story come out of Florida and I feel like this could really happen. I think this book would make a good slap stick comedy because of its chaotic nature and ridiculousness.

I had hoped for a better resolution for one of the characters and it wasn’t quite what I thought it would be but it was definitely better than the situation they were originally in. I found myself chuckling from time to time about the ridiculousness of the various characters and their actions throughout the story. If you are looking for an unbelievable but believable wild ride add Swamp Story to your tbr and hang on.


Thank you @simonbooks and @netgalley for this eARC in exchange for my honest feedback.

Thank you to Simon&Schuster for the ARC.

First off I love the cover of this book- the bright colors and croc are a perfect representation of Florida. I enojoyed the general florida-ness of the story. No amount of chaos is off-limits when it comes to florida man. It was a little slow to start, but I laughed a lot while reading this and it definitely made me smile. I think the ending was the best part. I like how neatly every character's story wrapped up and the 'good' ones got a happy ending and the bad one got what they deserved :)

3.5 stars
Finding a bunch of gold would change anyone’s life. And so can bring a viral sensation Every character in this book was affected by these two situations.

This one was a wild ride. The setting could only take place in Florida. It’s Florida man on steroids (or some random pills from Stu’s pocket) with all of the crazy scenes. I appreciated the humor and the “Grease” references. I really wanted a different ending. I feel like this author is a funny person to be around. Sense of humor exudes through the book. Pretty good book overall.

This book was fun to read. It didn't blow me away by any means but it was quick and enjoyable! Would read this author again!

This is hands down the funnies book I have read all year. If you find yourself with some time to spend poolside this summer, definitely give this a go. Barry captures the essence of the Florida Man perfectly in this laugh out loud novel. The plot moves along at a nice, moderate pace. You can almost smell the weed and hear Phil singing in his MellonHead as the shenanigans unfold across the Everglades. Is it outlandish and totally unrealistic? Absolutely. Is it deliciously funny-you bet!

With any Dave Barry (the original Florida man) book, you know what you're going to get -- a Florida setting and crazy characters and situations. This book is exactly that!

Jesse has made a terrible mistake - she trusted the wrong man and now she's stuck in the Everglades with an infant daughter and a boyfriend who has spent every dime she had. Then she stumbles on a pile of gold, unfortunately some others have spotted it too.

Jesse is the only sane person in this story -- her boyfriend is absolutely sure he's about to become an internet sensation, his best friend has a scheme involving a swamp monster that will bring riches to the local bait shop, the government officials are incompetent (of course), and naturally there's an alligator.

Everyone in this book does stupid things, makes bad decisions, and (naturally) nothing goes as planned, but it is a fun ride. I enjoyed every minute, even though it certainly stretches the boundaries of realism...but then again, it IS Florida.

I love Dave Barry and especially his funny and quirky fiction! I love each outrageous character the best.

Ｂｏｏｋ ｒｅｖｉｅｗ

𝗦𝘄𝗮𝗺𝗽 𝗦𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆 by Dave Barry
Published: May 2, 2023 by @simonandschuster
Reviewed by: Mel
Format: Physical ARC and eBook via @NetGalley

★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆
Somewhere in the 2.5-3 range

Thank you to @NetGalley and @simonandschuster for gifting both a physical ARC as well as an eBook version of this book in exchange for my honest review. I’ve never read Dave Barry before, and being a Florida girl now, I had to see what it was all about! #gifted #netgalley #swampstory #simonbooks #simonandschuster

𝗠𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁𝘀
I’m not gonna lie, I went into this expecting a laugh-out-loud book but I ended up cringing at the story and the characters while reading this, more than laughing. All of the characters are vile, and it made it incredibly hard to enjoy the book since there wasn’t one single character that I felt attached to — they were all incredibly selfish, lazy, and well…almost all of them complete idiots.

While the premise of the story is absolutely ridiculous and should be funny, I felt more upset by all of it — and frankly, I think it’s because I live in Florida and feel like I’m surrounded by these types of people on a daily basis.

My biggest gripe with the book — was that I absolutely, positively, expected Chastain to be chomped on by the alligator. I was incredibly disappointed that the book didn’t go that far. It was already absolutely ridiculous in so many other ways, Barry should have just been completely over-the-top and provided the gator some dinner.

I’m sure this book is enjoyable for someone looking for mindless entertainment, and those that enjoy reading about cringe-worthy characters - but instead of laughing, I just felt really uncomfortable and wanted it all to be over.

What a hilarious book! I had never read Dave Berry, but this one made me see why people love reading his work. A large cast of characters are squatting on land in the Everglades in various capacities, all trying to catch a break. Some choose TikTok viral videos as their claim to fame, and some find actual pirate gold! The setting of the Everglades is the perfect backdrop for these desperate folks. Pythons, gators, and wild boar, oh my - a swamp story indeed!

This was a wild, zany, over-the-top ride through all of the "Florida Man" tropes you can imagine. I had to repeatedly remind myself that this wasn't, in fact, a Carl Hiaasen novel, but was instead written by the inestimable Dave Barry. Funnily enough, Hiaasen is one of the first people Barry thanks in the acknowledgments. I won't get into every plotline or detail as those are fully covered by other reviews, but suffice it to say that there are several laugh-out-loud moments that on their own make this a worthwhile read.

I really enjoyed this overall, despite a few of the characters not being fleshed out enough or being too trope-y. Thank you to NetGalley and Simon & Schuster for giving me an ARC in exchange for my honest review.

Swamp Story is not a book I would have picked up normally, but the idea of reading about a bunch of wild Floridians getting up to shenanigans found me at the right time. My first Dave Barry novel, I found that I quite enjoyed this. It felt like one of those stories you hear that is "too crazy to be true," and I enjoyed the ride that it was. Some of the humor landed for me, though I didn't find it the funniest book I've ever read (humorous books rarely land for me though, mostly because it is hard to read the jokes in the same manner that you might hear them - tone and body language often enhance the humor). I found myself rooting for only one person, Jesse, and really didn't like the rest of the cast (which was quite large). The ending was a bit too tightly wrapped up and, without spoiling anything, I was hoping for a slightly different, albeit happy, ending for Jesse.

I'm usually a fan of Dave Barry, but this work lacked a lot of his trademark good nature humor. It was grittier and harsher, more like Carl Hiaasen's work, but lacking the heart of that author's works as well. I think I was particularly unnerved by the extended stalking and planned rape of Jesse which just felt far too taboo to be the subject of such extended commentary in an ultimately humorous book. I'm certainly not giving up on Barry, but this was one particular story I couldn't bring myself to complete

For Dave Barry fans, they will enjoy this Hiassen like Florida romp. I found it too copycat for five stars but it was a good summer read with all Barry's wit and humor.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the eARC! All thoughts and opinions are my own.

I was excited about the humor that this particular read promised, but after reading, I fear I'm not the target audience. This book feels like it was written for people who have frat boy humor, including things like casual use of slurs and joking about s*xual mistreatment of women. Honestly, there were times where I felt uncomfortable reading it. I will say the plot is as bizarre as the description suggests (albeit predictable at times), but while I appreciate the opportunity to read this story, I unfortunately would have to say it's not for me.

This book…there was so much going on I really don’t even know where to begin. The people of Florida are wild man. Idk what’s in the water over there, but WHEW!

I was thoroughly entertained reading this story even though if you ask me what it was about all I can really say is: “greed?” Not because I didn’t comprehend it, but because there was literally so much happening.

We have a man dressed as Dora the explorer that gets a golf club to the balls at a birthday party.
A man who is determined to get his own reality show.
Another man that wants to capitalize off of the Everglades Melon Monster.
A bunch of gold bars.
Alligators, snakes, emotional support pigs that pee on pants legs….

Literally this book is a wild ride from start to finish, but I had such a good time reading it.

DNF at 50%.

I was in the mood for a humorous romp. I thought Swamp Story would be a great match, but this book and I were not meant to be together.

The tropes are tired, stereotypical, silly.

The plot, such as it is, feels like a collection of caricature characters behaving badly, stupidly, ridiculously.

Not one character had a speck of intelligence or self-respect.

But, the writing style is quick and engaging. While the humor isn't my thing, it might work for you.

SWAMP STORY (May 2, 2023)

By Dave Barry

Simon & Schuster, 320 pages.

★★★★

Dave Barry is a funny man, a talent he wields by writing id-driven broad humor. Like old-time comics such as Henny Youngman and Rodney Dangerfield, he throws one thing after another at us until we chuckle despite ourselves. Swamp Story is another tale set in one of Barry’s favorite lampoon targets: Florida.

As the title suggests, Swamp City is set in the Everglades. If you’re thinking alligators, snakes, and sinkholes, you’re on the right track. Add gold hunters, eccentrics, con artists, lovable losers, and lawlessness and you’re well on your way. There’s something about isolated spits of land abutting sinking mud, marshland, and deep water that make them refuges for the socially marginal. That’s where we find Phil and Stu trying everything to eke out a living, including hiring themselves out for children’s birthday parties. Only a besotted divorced guy in need of money like Phil would dare to show up for a Frozen-themed party armed only with an over-sized Dora the Explorer head. Let’s just say that it didn’t go well except on TikTok.

Meet Jesse Braddock, who plays the role of the beautiful golden girl who made bad decisions. She grew up in Connecticut comfort, rebelled against her parents, and ran off with a guy they warned her was a jerk. Now she has a baby, Willa, is living in the Everglades, and boyfriend Slater really is a jerk. He proves that by being more interested in shooting video of a giant python wiggling toward Jesse and Willa than in chasing away the snake. No wonder she likes to walk paths through the Everglades to get away from him and his crazy friend Kark. In one trip, she happens upon something that might be linked to a legend of buried Confederate gold. If only she had known she was being stalked by Billy and Duck Campbell, two rednecks, who plot to force her to show them where she found it, beat her up (or worse), and make off with the gold.



Now meet brothers Ken and Brad, the owners of Bortle Brothers Bait & Beer, a business begun by their father and uncle. To say that it’s out of the way and was an idea whose time never came understates matters. It’s one of those eclectic general stores that dot the American landscape where you stop in hope of lunch, glance at the décor and decades out-of-date dusty merchandise, and decide all you really need is gas and a soda. Phil’s Internet notoriety gives Ken an idea. After reading about Michigan Melon Heads–diminutive humanoids with gigantic heads who are rumored to be fierce–Ken convinces Phil to spray paint the Dora head, creates a film crew, and launches a hoax. He uploads deliberately blurry videos to suggest that Melon Head Monsters have migrated to Florida. Before you can say “‘Glades Man,” the handle for the shirtless and brainless Slater, 8.3 million people have seen the clips and curiosity seekers pour into the area and stop at Bortle Brothers.



The plot thickens and so does the cast. Patsy Hartmann was once a star TV reporter for Miami’s Channel 8 until a younger anchor forced Patsy out of the limelight. Guess who is tapped to go to the Everglades to cover the Melon Head story and stay for the annual python roundup? There is also Andrew Pletzger, an egoistic real estate developer; Eric Turpake, an attorney as crooked as a Bortle Brothers fishhook; an obese former University of Florida football player and purveyor of drugs nicknamed Pinky; U.S. Secretary of the Interior Whitt Chastain, who hates the outdoors; and python wrangler DeWayne “Skeeter” Toobs, who arrives for his interview on a runaway airboat and with his “emotional support boar” Buddy. Danger abounds in the Everglades, perhaps none as ominous as a crime gang led by Kristov Berliuz.



What could go wrong? Throw this many offbeat people into one small part of swamp and the sky’s the limit. In the hands of Dave Barry, though, even danger is a subject for absurdism and cheap laughs. His Florida makes Texas seem like a bastion of choir boys by comparison. Aside from occasional off-color language and comeuppance to those upon whom we’d wish it, though, Barry prefers belly laughs to distress. We laugh along with him because we know that he knows that everything is meant as a big goof, not high art.



Rob Weir

Dave Barry never disappoints. I laughed out loud on a plane trip while reading this book and had other passengers asking for the title. I would love to see this book made into a movie.