Barnett grew up on a farm in rural Louisiana. When he goes home to his mom to tell her about his engagement, she has mixed feelings about him being gay and getting married. Enter a zany cast of characters from the fiancé, his family, the townspeople and neighbors, and the beloved farm animals. This farce culminates in the "gayest wedding of all time" that may or may not go off without a hitch.

I liked this book, although it is very broad. I just wanted less build up and more wedding (it is what the title promised me!) There is lots of family members and their various levels of support for the couple and only one small part of the book is the actual wedding. I liked that one mother was conflicted but the other one was mostly drunk, and I would like to have seen her not portrayed so flatly. Many of the people were caricatures which made the book a little kooky. All in all, I enjoyed this book and what it was trying to do, but I guess I wanted it set a little more in reality? Also, I think this book could have been 20% shorter and have less of the mom talking to farm animals.
3.5 stars

Thank you to Netgalley for the advance copy for review.

Quirky, fun characters whom I initially found over the top and annoying, but eventually grew to love.

*ARC provided via NetGalley

“Maybe love isn’t just patient and kind, maybe it’s magical too.”

I loved almost every character in this book especially Paw-Paw. I laughed several times and cried like I was actually at the wedding myself. Barnett and Ezra will hold a special place in my heart.

Please keep writing novels Byron I really enjoy them.

“The only difference is someone said rats are bad. And someone said squirrels are good. And everyone collectively agreed to go along with it. To pretend it’s different is just to be at war all the damn time.”

“Is it crazy that we can live with the mystery of God? Or the mystery of WiFi or something? But the first time we don’t understand another human being, the mystery of another human being, it’s just too much to overcome?”

Barnett is finally come home to visit! Chrissy is thrilled until she finds out the real reason for his return. He is engaged…and wants her to meet his fiancé. Chrissy is not ok with this gay thing, but finally gives in to allow Ezra to come visit. She keeps a tally all of his cons from the minute she meets him, but now they want to have their Big Gay Wedding at her farm! Will Chrissy be able to overcome her own biases?

So first of all, thanks and apologies to @mrstevenrowley for my filling his dm’s while reading this book. It was just so damn quotable I needed to discuss. I legit could have stopped every chapter to write down a quote, but that would make this a very long review. This book will infuriate you, then fill your heart with happiness and joy. it will make you consider the love of a mother, even when she doesn’t necessarily agree with the choices her child makes. It made me think a lot about the mothers that do cut their children out of their lives for this, and my heart breaks that someone could do that to their child. You all know my love for Steven Rowley and The Guncle, and I have to tell you, how this amazing couple can both write books filled with so much heart and joy is beyond me! Byron is a new favorite author for sure!

4⭐️

Two grooms. One mother of a problem.

An entertaining and well written story about family, unconditional love, loss, and how one Big Gay Wedding will change a town forever. Oh and it has some of the best named animal characters ever! 😂 I was expecting lighthearted rom-com, but It’s so, so much more. Lane takes you on an emotional journey that had me feeling all the feels! I laughed, I got angry, I teared up, I laughed some more (those chocolates), and then smiled at how everything played out. There was an interesting mix of unique and flawed characters, but Paw-Paw was by far my favorites. 😊

What I enjoyed;
🔷 Feel Good Story
🔷 Character growth
🔷 LOL Humor
🔷 Paw-Paw

Save the date: Big Gay Wedding publishes 5/30/23.

Thank you to NetGalley and Henry Holt & Co. for the advanced copies in exchange for my honest review.

A delightful, zany and tender trip to the alter! Growing up in rural Louisiana, Barnett Durang’s mother and father (now deceased), would not accept their son being gay. After years living in Los Angeles, Barnett returns home with a big secret to share with his mother…he’s engaged. Ezra, his bethrothed, hails from a loud, progressive New York family that fully accepts their son and are excited to plan a wedding…..a BIG wedding! The two families meet at Barnett’s family farm where you will meet a fabulous cast of characters, both of the human and animal species who will make you alternately laugh and cry.

Amidst the humor of the story, there are so many poignant moments of tenderness as the author takes us on a journey where a mother learns unconditional love and acceptance for her son and teaches a community the same along the way. Big Gay Fun abounds when you’re a guest at Big Gay Wedding!

Thank you NetGalley and Henry Holt & Company for the opportunity to receive this ARC in exchange for my honest review.
Publication date: May 30, 2023

After he left the small town where he grew up and where his parents run a farm, Barnett Durang has made a life for himself in Los Angeles. When his mother, Chrissy, learns that he is coming for a visit, she hopes it is to announce he is moving home to take over the farm. Instead, Barnett informs Chrissy that he is engaged to his longtime boyfriend, Ezra, and that the two want to get married on the farm. Soon, Ezra's parents and his sister descend on the farm to plan the wedding, which will be unlike any celebration the town has experienced before. Many in the town, including Chrissy, seem skeptical about the prospect of the wedding. As the planning moves forward, Barnett and Chrissy must work through the challenges of their past as they look toward a new, and unplanned, future.

This is a great book -- full of compelling characters and an engaging and warm-hearted story about family, home, grief, and joy.

Highly recommended!

I wanted to love and parts I did, but this couldn’t have been so much shorter. Parts really drug for me. Maybe in the wrong mood or I overhyped, but I hate when things are longer than necessary

Chrissy Durang's life hasn't turned out exactly as she planned; nonetheless, she's carved out quite the life for herself in rural Louisiana. She lost the love of her life, her husband John, to a heart condition, and her beloved only son Barnett to the siren call of Lala land California or, as she calls it, Looney Tunes. Despite feeling the pangs of her losses, she has reinvented herself as the caretaker of misfit reject animals on her once working farm turned sanctuary. Her days are filled with giving tours to kids on elementary school field trips and chatting with an aging sheep named after a sitcom character from a bygone era. Her life though full of action feels empty as she faces her golden years, realizing how alone she truly is. However, after Barnett announces he will be coming home to tell her something, Chrissy believes that her prayers have finally been answered and her son is returning home for good. Barnett, for his part, is a nervous wreck of a thirty-something who's spent his entire adult life tip-toeing around the big thing as his mother likes to call it, the fact that he's gay. His open secret, treated like a part of himself he must keep compartmentalized away from his mother, can no longer be neatly edited out of his life to appease his mother's reservations. He's in love beyond his wildest dreams and intends to marry, but first, he must tell his mother. Big Gay Wedding Is a brilliant celebration of family, legacy, and the acceptance of loss. This book had me laughing, crying, and caring more about a sheep than I care to admit.

Disclosure: I received a free ARC of this book through Netgalley courtesy of the publisher in exchange for my review. My review is my honest opinion.

This is a story about the push and pull of family and home. Chrissy Durang is a force to be reckoned with. She runs the Polite Society Ranch in Mader, Louisiana, a small town far outside New Orleans, where she is known as “Farmer Mom.” Her farm is home to animals others have gave up on, often named after sitcom characters from the 1990s, including Elaine, a heritage sheep that, in many ways, is Chrissy’s best friend. A widow, Chrissy believes her beloved son, Barnett who lives in Los Angeles (which Chrissy calls “Loony Tunes”) will soon take over the farm — and she hopes his most recent trip home will be when he tells her he is ready to finally make the transition. But Barnett has much different news — he is engaged to Ezra, and he wants his mom to finally meet him.

Chrissy and her late husband were never comfortable with having a gay son, and she is not excited by Barnett’s news. When Ezra arrives at the farm, her concerns grow — she find many faults with Ezra, from his clothes to how he laughs, which she dutifully records in her notebook. Then Barnett springs even more surprises on Chrissy — the two want to get married in the upcoming week on the farm. Soon, Ezra’s twin sister and his parents arrive from New York, intent on planning a wedding extravaganza at the farm. But Chrissy is not sure how she feels about having all these strangers in her home, much less having the Big Gay Wedding they envision. And it soon becomes clear that others in the town also do not want to see this wedding happen. As Ezra’s family plans a wedding the likes of which Mader has never seen, Chrissy and Barnett must navigate their complicated pasts as they face what their family will look like in the future.

I thought this book was terrific! I was a big fan of the author’s last book, A Star is Bored, so I was excited to read his latest. And it surpasses my high expectations. The author does an excellent job of portraying the internal conflicts faced by both Barnett and Chrissy as they seek to reconcile their obvious deep love for each other with the rupture created by Chrissy and her late husband’s discomfort with Barnett being gay. The author captures well the strong pull of where one grew up, even when that experience was often traumatic. I particularly appreciated the evolving relationship between Chrissy and Ezra, as Chrissy’s skepticism of Ezra’s mystical ways grew into grudging respect and then admiration. Finally, I was truly moved by the author’s depiction of Chrissy’s relationship with the animals on her farm — I must admit there were tears in my eyes at the end of the book.

Very highly recommended!

Feel good story about a mother, her gay son and the wedding event that will shift them both.

Barnett has long been out of the closet to his mother, a woman who's conservative views living in a small farm in Louisiana, has had to process over the course of both of their lives. Now, Barnett is ready to marry the love of his life Ezra, who's own family is a cast of outlandish characters, and what better place to have their wedding than in the rural town Barnett grew up in. A town that hasn't always been the most open minded or the most welcoming. After a whirlwind decision she must decide if she wants to be part of the celebration or continue to stay in her box, a box that holds not jonly her point of view, but also a space where she knows her son will be safe from what people may think or do to someone like him.

I really enjoyed some of the characters in this novel (I couldn't stop picturing Sally field as the conservative mother) and Kathy Bates as Ezra's mom! I also really liked Pawpaw and his zangy one-liners. My con was that we spent a lot of time on Barnett's moms POV as the central story line and I really loved the Barnett and Ezra dynamic. Overall I am here for this queer representation and parents who love their children unconditionally.

I absolutely adored Byron Lane’s debut novel A STAR IS BORED, so when his sophomore novel was announced I couldn’t wait to pick it up! BIG GAY WEDDING felt more personal than his debut, but still contained that amazing sense of humor that I’ve grown to expect with Lane’s writing.

Taking place on a ranch in Louisiana, BIG GAY WEDDING is a story about love, family, and loss. Chrissy Durang is introduced as a no-nonsense type of woman who is struggling with the reality of her son, Barnett, being gay and the pending nuptials to his fiancé Ezra. Leading up to the wedding, Chrissy must process the conflict between her faith and the love she has for her son.

BIG GAY WEDDING is a beautifully hilarious story that will have you crying one moment and laughing the next. I loved the story happening between Chrissy and Barnett, the love depicted between Barnett and Ezra, and the hilarity that is Ezra’s dysfunctional family. All of this came together to tell a beautiful story.

Intermingled throughout there are also deep themes of grief and loss. Chrissy must come to terms with the fact the animals left on her ranch are getting older and that she will also continue to age, until she will no longer be able to run the ranch. Both Barnett and Chrissy have moments where they think back on Chrissy’s late husband John and the void that his absence has left on the ranch and in their lives. I also enjoyed seeing how all of these feelings and missteps between them lead to a new path and future that is forged with a seemingly odd group of characters.

BIG GAY WEDDING is a fantastic depiction of flawed and dysfunctional families coming together and all the hilarity that ensues.

Byron Lane, the author of A Star is Bored, is back a charming rom-com that will hit store shelves on May 30th from Macmillan.

Chrissy runs the Polite Society Ranch, a small Louisiana farm that offers school tours teaching lessons on manners through the joy of rescued animal encounters. All is well as long as things remain polite and disciplined.

But when Barnett, her son, returns home, she finds her disciplined world rocked. Not only is he gay but he plans to marry his partner Ezra.

As Chrissy controls her response with good manners, she uncomfortably weathers this blow to her son's imagined life with a wife, and in these moments, Lane's writing shines.

In one memorable scene, Chrissy observes, "Is it crazy that we can live with the mystery of God?" Or the mystery of Wi-Fi or something? But the first time we don't understand another human being, the mystery of another human being, it's just too much to overcome?"

These shifts in thought are charmingly written when Chrissy scribbles all the things Ezra isn't "politely" into a notebook and then realizes how much she later delights in them. It's also more significant, like navigating small-town feedback and how her priest views Barnett's life.

Chrissy doesn’t have to weather these challenges alone, though. Among the most supportive is Barnett's Paw-Paw, a memorable and delightful character for a reader. His surprising acceptance borderlines on comical as he admits how many gay grandkids come to visit at his assisted living facility and how the Glee marathons reinforce these lessons of acceptance in his community lounge.

As the rest of the town tries to grapple with gay marriage, Lane isn't afraid to let the nuptials get over the top through a cast of quirky side characters as they throw a "big gay wedding" at Chrissy's ranch.

It would be hard to replicate the charm of Lane's debut simply because it was based so much upon his personal experience as Carrie Fisher's assistant. However, you can see Lane's confident writing in the relationship he knows best- the one between Ezra & Barnett.

In many ways, the romance sections reminded me of Katherine Center's writing as we catch glimmers of these private and meaningful moments that still leave a lot to our imaginations.

The "countdown to damnation" for the wedding timeline and interspersing advice from a polite society guide on Southern Nuptials in the early 1900s reinforce the story well.

Thank you to Macmillan for the review copy for our show.
4 out of 5 Stars.

Thanks so much for the advanced copy. I really enjoyed it and look forward to reading more books by him and also his husband whom I discovered first. People will love this one,

Christie loves her animals and her farm at Polite Society Ranch. She misses her deceased husband John but is pretty much content with her lot in life. That is until her son Barnard announced his engagement to Ezra. Not only will she have to contend with his “fiancé“ Ezra who she instantly has a dislike for, but his snooty parents arrived as well and I haven’t even brought ought up poor grandpa. Christie will partake in some passive aggressive activities and that includes eating all of Ezra’s chocolates because he ate all her morning and afternoon Hershey kisses. The only problem with that was it wasn’t plain chocolate but drug-induced chocolate and she ate a lot of them. This is only the beginning of the hilarity that is big Gay Wedding by Byron Lane christie’s inner thoughts alone make this book so worth reading but the overall storyline is not only interesting but laugh out loud funny. I am so down to read another book by Byron Lane if all his books are this funny and entertaining then signed me up. This is a definite five star read and one I highly recommend. I received this book from NetGalley and the publisher but I am leaving this review voluntarily please forgive any mistakes as I am blind and dictate my review.

Big Gay Wedding

4.5 stars rounded up

I went into this expecting hijinks and hilarity. There were many moments like that, but this book was heavy in a way I wasn’t expecting. I loved the characters, even if some of them did seem far-fetched. Byron Lane does the quiet, mundane moments of this book really, really well, with equal parts wry humor and heart. There are lines and scenes in this book that made me laugh out loud, but there are also scenes which left me weeping.

My only real criticism is that the transition from the very funny to the very sad was sometimes too fast. As a reader, I sometimes felt like I had emotional whiplash.

DNF at about 20%. From the blurb it sounded light and fun, but reading the first bit was more heavy and it didn't improve soon enough. I'm not sure if it was supposed to be quirky and deep in a literary way, or if that was just the style. But the writing was good, so probably there will be people who enjoy it.

Goodness gracious this was not what I was expecting. I went into it thinking “wedding rom-com, maybe Father of the Bride’ish wedding shenanigans and hijinks.” Instead, it’s an emotional journey as a son brings his fiancé home in hopes of acceptance. But it’s also a story of grief and overcoming. It’s beautiful and sad and romantic and unique. The characters will definitely stick with me. Paw Paw is perfection.

Never fear, however. It IS funny. I honestly laughed out loud many times. The chocolates. The list of pros and cons.

And so many lovely and memorable quotes that are life lessons many people in this world need to hear. I highly recommend this book. I just recommend to buckle up. Because yes, it’s sweet and funny. But it’s so much more.

Thank you to NetGalley and Henry Holt and Company for the advanced copy.

Byron Lane delivers a wonderful novel with Big Gay Wedding. We meet a cast of characters from Barnett and Ezra, to the mothers of the grooms, Chrissy and Victoria as well as a host of other souls who add so much to this story. Chrissy, the mother of the groom, runs Polite Society Ranch, in rural Louisiana. She fully expects her son Barnett to settle down and get married one day. When he comes home from Loony Tunes (LA) she is ready to pass down the farm to him, but what entails is a lesson for all of us. A Big Gay Wedding is in the works, or is it? Armed with humor (animals named after some of the best 80s characters), lessons in history, gay rights and the hate that still grips much of our country, Lane masterfully tackles it all. I laughed and cried many times while reading this book, sometimes in the same chapter. This book releases in May and I look forward to attending author events when it publishes. Thank you to NetGalley for an advance reader copy in exchange for my honest review.

This book was a surprise. I was thinking it would be a rom-com. Thinking My Best Friend's Wedding. It's really not. Marketing is doing a disservice to this book. People wanting something light and cozy won't get what they were expecting, and it will hurt the book in ratings. It was more of a coming out story and how coming out affects a family. I was not expecting it. I loved the way the dynamics were handled. This book deserves a lot of attention, because these topics are so relevant in a lot of people's everyday lives. I loved the charm and heart that went into this novel.