🏚️TELL ME I'M WORTHLESS by @alisonrumfitt is like no other book I have ever read. In fact it is so unique that it was hard to get into at first for me. The past and present are woven together in somewhat of a dreamlike state and I was confused at first by the introduction of the house as the third main character. Once I got on board with that, I realized this was a complicated but worthwhile story not only about the trans experience but the general human drive to judge and 'other' with little or misguided information about the 'other'.

🏚️This is not your average haunted house story. There is a lot to unpack in this story but in general terms, Alice, Hannah and Ila spend a night in a haunted house and only Ila and Alice leave. The fallout is devastating and Alice and Ila become sworn enemies for a time as Ila takes up with an anti-trans group. Alice is a shell of herself, barely moving through her day to day tasks until one day the two women run into each other and Ila asks Alice to return to the house, together. Alice is terrified but also can't refuse.

🏚️There are a lot of mixed memories, trauma, misunderstandings and flat out brutality in this book. It is dark and visceral and makes you feel a bit haunted yourself. This book had me asking lots of questions, looking at my own bias and teasing out the reasons why humans treat each other the way we do.

🏚️This book is for folks who are looking for some introspection on love, relationships, our bodies and our personal vulnerabilities while also looking at the brutality, loneliness and despair of existing.

♥️Thank you to the author, @netgalley, and the publisher @tornightfire for my ARC copies and @night_worms for including the U.S. version physical copy in their subscription box last month.♥️

Reviewed for Library Journal, this goes beyond a mere haunted house story. This is a visceral journey down corridors of the human mind twisted by trauma. It also reveals more modern horrors of our day.

A very powerful story that will stick with you. Lots of trigger warnings- so, be advised.

I really enjoyed this!

Thank you to the author Alison Rumfit, publishers Patrick Smith Audio and Macmillan Audio, and as always NetGalley, for an advance audio copy of TELL ME I'M WORTHLESS.

At the very beginning of the audiobook, Alison Rumfitt informs the listener that the book is about two things: trauma and fascism. She apologizes to the listener for "letting them haunt this book." She goes on to specify a few triggers, like racism and rape, and identifies this opening section as her trigger warnings. She then apologizes for providing them (though how could they be anything but helpful to the concerned populations?) assuring the listener that the choice to include them are her own and not her publisher's. It is not lost on me that this apology is hugely and grossly ironic at the beginning of a terribly frightful and graphic horror tale about fascism. (Especially in light of the probability that she could have included gobs of other trigger warnings, as other reviewers have noted.)

This is one of the scariest books I've ever read. I wanted to point out the trigger section of the audiobook because this horror story is terrifying in part because it is all around us. In her haunted house, Rumfitt creates a villain that is not just familiar but close enough to touch in the most uncomfortable of our own memories. She connects it with classic horror house figures like Shirley Jackson's Hill House, Stephen King's Rose Red, and Danielewski's House of Leaves. These are unsettling figures whose structures are wrong, but whose wrongness we reach for in part due to their elusiveness, which reflects our own dark elusiveness.

For me, the most horrific act of horror in this story besets a character, Hannah, who doesn't even see herself as part of things, as it were. Not in touch with her friends, or their conflict, certainly not with the house that terrifies them. Can it hurt her if she just doesn't touch it? What if she gets lost in it, trying to find her *own* way through it's cavernous body?

Without a doubt, the house speaks, it's voice thunders. That's okay, because Rumfitt has a pretty loud voice of her own in this one. I simply can't wait for her next.

Rating: 🏚🏚🏚🏚🏚 / 5 haunted houses
Recommend? Absolutely for the stout hearted
Finished: February 12 2023
Read this if you like:
🇺🇲 Political horror
💋 Feminist horror
🦴 Body horror
🏚 Terrifying houses
👩🏻‍🤝‍👩🏽 Friend drama

Special thanks to MacMillan and Netgalley for the digital review of this book.

I suggest listening to this on audio and reading at the same time. This book was so far out there I had to love it.

It was creepy, had an unreliable narrator, and was creepy as hell.

Also this book comes with trigger warnings I'd pay attention to them

I have to take a star away because it's just a very strange book!

This was a WTF did I just listen to reads for me....in the most best way ever!

I was not sure about the premise when I requested this book but I love the publisher so why not?

OMFG this book had everything I needed to check off my list for a good horror novel!

Unreliable Narrator - CHECK
Goosebump Factor - 4/5 bumps
Creep Factor - 4.2/5 chills.

Synopsis - What happens when a house is built? Humans take products that the earth provided and turn it into a habitable residence to protect themselves from the elements. But what happens when the builders want to make changes or renovations yet the House does not want to be changed in any way?

3 years ago 3 friends walked into a house one night but only 2 walked out the next morning. Alice, Ila, and Hannah decide to spend the night in an abandoned house and that decision changed the course of their lives forever.

3 Years later - Alice is selling videos of herself, partying her feelings away with numerous strangers and drinking herself to oblivion. When Ila reaches out and begs Alice to go back to the house with her to not only save her friend but themselves, Alice knows she must return. They have to know for sure what happened to them 3 years ago because something is just not adding up.

Allison Rumfelt took a fascinating approach with novel. Through intense delicate interweaving, Rumfelt has pulled in issues of trauma, what it was and is like as a transgender person throughout history, ideologies of fascism in the UK. This book just shows readers that importance of having all people, no matter race, creed, gender, or sexuality, represented in the book world. This book broke my heart into pieces and the carefully put it back together. There were times as a cisgendered women that I was uncomfortable but that is the making of a good novel.

I'm still gathering my thoughts together after reading TELL ME I'M WORTHLESS, but I appreciate the author's inclusion of themes of society and sexuality. I thought that I was getting a haunted house story, but instead found this to be a work of trauma, and at a much slower pace than I originally thought it would be.

*many thanks to the publisher and netgalley for the gifted copy for review

A very difficult and impactful read that will seriously impact any reader who picks it up. Pay close attention to the trigger warnings.

4 out of 5 stars

I want to thank Netgalley and Macmillan Audio for allowing me to read/listen to this novel in exchange for an honest review.

First off I want to say that Nicky Endres was a fantastic narrator who really captured the main characters various voices well. The author, Alison Rumfitt really weaved a dark and scary novel. When I say dark I mean dark! I really don't think I have ever read something like this. When I heard about this and then saw the fantastic cover I knew I wanted to read this. Be warned here, pay attention to the triggers because they are not messing around when they mention this.

When they were teenagers Alice,Hannah and Ila ignored the keep out sign, ignored the stories and went into the house everyone knows to stay out of. Only Alice & Ila come out and their friendship was destroyed.

Now something is calling the women back and they have no choice but to return. There is so much going here, so many layers and though this novel may not be for everyone it will be for those who like dark and bleak this is for you. Be prepared to be put through as I was but I am glad that I was able to read this. A really good novel.

This book begins with trigger warnings. LISTEN TO THE TRIGGER WARNINGS. There’s a point in this book that’s just an hour of stream-of-consciousness triggers. This section isn’t done lightly or without reason, but if that’s going to cause you distress, then this might not be a suitable read for you.

Alice, Ila, and Hannah tried to prove themselves as brave and revolutionary young adults by sleeping in an abandoned house, but the house was empty for a reason. Alice and Ila escape with deep scars. Hannah does not.

Ila, blaming Alice for what happened in the house, becomes a TERF speaker. Alice speaks from across the aisle, as a trans woman just trying to live honestly, and to recover from what Ila did to her in the house. But it’s visions of Hannah that bring them back together, in a manner most toxic and necessary.

This is a horror novel, yes, but also just a feel-bad novel. Sometimes horror is “oh no, we must escape this thing!” But this book is about racism, transphobia, sexual violence, and the deep-seated and numerous prejudices that define England. I LOVED the book, but DAMN, I don’t think I can ever read this again. I’d recommend it to people, and then ask that we never discuss it. Great listen, but I needed such a palate cleanser afterwards. A+.

Advanced listening copy provided by the publisher.

the only way i can describe tell me i’m worthless? a fever dream. unfortunately, not a good one.

the writing was clumsy, just as the characters and the storyline were. there was no subtlety to the points the author was making, which felt old after a few pages.

i really wanted to enjoy this but it just wasn’t for me.

thank you macmillan audio and netgalley for providing me of an audiobook arc in exchange for an honest review.

This wasn’t what I was expecting at all. I definitely went into this expecting a horror novel - the content warnings at the beginning (also yes please for those being in the beginning) threw me off from what I was expecting. I appreciate that so much.

Basically, I came for the haunted house but stayed for the story itself. It’s dark. It’s messed up. The language in it will require me to recommend headphones if you decide to give this a go on audio.

I’ve pointed out that I was under the impression this was a thriller/horror book. The haunted house led me to this assumption. While yes there was a haunted house, it was almost a background storyline. The author really brought to life the horrors that exist in the lives of these characters- and that’s all they really have. They didn’t have happy times. Maybe they did, but we surely don’t see them. We know exactly what the author wants to say - all the guess work is gone and I appreciate that. Point made, point taken. I appreciate the straightforward writing style.

I gotta say though, as a haunted house horror this feel flat for me. I reread the synopsis assuming I hadn’t read it and chose this for the cover (guilty - I do this a lot) but I see that even in the synopsis it talks mostly about friends and the house. The house was barely part of it in the first half of this book. This left me confused.

It was interesting enough to keep me listening but I’d say to check the trigger warnings and know they are unrelenting throughout before picking this up. It’s heavy. It’s dark. Just know that.

Thanks to NetGalley for the audiobook!

⭐️⭐️⭐️

Wow, this was brutal and made me full of unease. Read like a combination of the splatter gore and social commentary of Manhunt with the living house ghost story of Just Like Home. Highly recommend to horror fans.

"Before the house was built it existed."

The psychological horror Tell Me I'm Worthless by debut author Alison Rumfitt isn't a traditional horror novel. It is a symbolic tale of the growing Fascist movement in the U.K combined with the epidemic assault on the trans community.

The simple plot is that Alice, a trans woman, IIa her ex girlfriend but now a leader in an anti trans organization, and their friend Hannah enter a known haunted house and Hannah never leaves it. Alice and IIa have different versions of what happened in the house both claiming they were sexually assaulted by the other while trapped in it. Does society dictate who you believe? The Trans woman or the anti trans leader. Maybe there's a little truth in each version. What happened to Hannah? Well the roots of the house have a hold on her. She no longer is who she use to be; now being fed the fascist rhetoric ingrained in the roots of the house that have always been there.

Alice and IIa go back to rescue Hannah and the real fight for freedom begins for them. Narrator Nicky Endres must have been exhausted from the constant anger, fear and righteous indignation her characters scream at one another. This audiobook is not a fun road trip listen. It shouldn't be played without ear buds. It's not for everyone. It is uncomfortable, polarizing and very unsettling to hear. With every imaginable curse word it covers rape, transphobia, antisemitism, racism, bigotry, and the ever growing acceptance or fascism. The violence and hatred that Alice experiences as a trans person is very real. The fact that all these"ism" are more popular now than during WWII is the most frightening. The scariest line is, "The fascists are already here."

I received a free copy of this audiobook from MacMillan Audio via #NetGalley for a fair and honest review. All opinions are my own.

*5 stars*

Horrifying, disgusting, and deeply unsettling; this is horror done right.

Horror at its core has always been about bigger issues than the monster on the page, often a reflection of the current state of society at the time. Rumfitt deftly uses the haunted house trope as an allegory for Britain itself, in its past and present. The rot of facism seeping into its very foundation. This book tackles transphobia, racism, anti-semitism, facism, and the biases that we all have but deny every day.

I loved that we got narratives from the house itself as though it is a character, a hallmark characteristic of gothic horror taken to the next level. We also get the first person perspective from Alice letting us view the story through the lens of the trans experience.

The narrator of the audiobook did an amazing job with this. Horror can be a hard genre to narrate but the voice changes with the characters and the horror elements were great.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for providing me with an ALC of this work. All opinions in this review are my own.

Tell Me I’m Worthless

I’m not sure where to start with Tell Me I’m Worthless. Initially, I thought it was a basic horror centered around three women and a haunted house but it takes a turn towards bigger, more real issues and all their different facets.

This is a dark disturbing story and I’d look at the TW/CW before reading/listening. It is also one that I think will bring a lot of discussion in certain communities and I don’t think I’m qualified to give an opinion on this experience.

The narrator, Nicky Endres, is fantastic, giving the story an edge and voice that kept me listening.

My thanks to MacMillan Audio for this gifted ALC.

Tell Me I’m Worthless is a very ambitious novel and I applaud it for truly going there. It never once backed down from being grotesque or unsettling, and I do think that’s an accomplishment. But this book just wasn’t for me. Not to say it wasn’t good- because it was; however, I think I was reading it at the wrong time as I couldn’t immerse myself in the story fully. I wouldn’t normally rate a book I did not finish but for the sake of this process I would rate it a 2.5/5 stars.

Tell Me I'm Worthless, originally publisher by Cipher Press in 2021, was rereleased on January 17, 2023 by Tor Nightfire and Macmillan Audio.

This story mainly follows Alice and Ila, close friends and part-time lovers, who have been estranged after a hallucinatory night spent in a haunted house. Their friend Hannah was there that night too, but she never made it out.

The Reader gets both Alice and Ila's perspectives, as well as a third perspective that I will let you discover for yourself.

I went into this story expecting it to be a new take on a haunted house story and it is, but I wouldn't classify it as a haunted house story per se. Rumfitt does creatively use that beloved Horror trope to bring something completely new to the table within these pages.

As a piece of Transgressive Horror, this story definitely gets high marks. For me, although I can appreciate the creativity and gut-punching social commentary, I can't say this was a highly enjoyable reading experience for me. Please note, I am not remarking on the skill or creativity of the author when I say that, I just feel like this story wasn't particularly suited to my reading tastes.

I could have used a bit more of a linear plot and a stronger atmosphere, as that is one of the main things I look for. There was a lot of great character work here and topical commentary, but there were also a lot of fever dream-type, internal monologue rants that sort of lost me.

Additionally, I found some of it a little hard to track. With this being said, I still appreciate all that Rumfitt poured into this story and the stark, in-your-face, take-no-prisoners feel of it all. I would definitely pick up more of Rumfitt's work.

Thank you to the publisher, Tor Nightfire and Macmillan Audio, for providing me copies to read and review. I would recommend the audiobook as a medium for this. They did some really unique sound work for a few of the intense horror scenes. It's definitely worth checking out.

This book was very moving. I wasn't sure what to expect and I'm very glad I gave it a try. It is definitely a book I would recommend because it seems to have a lot going for it. I don't want to say too much because I don't want to spoil it. Definitely go into this one blind.

Thank you so much for the gifted copy.

I was the wrong audience for this. This book discusses LGBT and that's a subject I know nothing about. I rated this as a three but if you are interested in Horror and LGBT, you will love this!