This was beautifully written and honest memoir that I enjoyed from start to finish. It was a little slow in parts for mostly it kept my attention and I was desperate to know what would happen next. Overall, a book that will stay with me. Thank you to NetGalley, the publisher, and author for a chance to read and review this book.

Thank you to Netgalley for allowing me to read this book in return for an honest review. It feels strange to say that I absolutely loved this book given that the book is about abuse, suicide and basically horrendously bad childhoods. The story was so raw and deep that I felt like I was intruding on the author’s thoughts at times and that shows just how spectacular her writing is. The family dynamics between the siblings and the exceptional humour and wit between them is special. A truly unique and beautiful story that will stay with me. I will now be downloading all her work! 5 stars from me.

This memoir is at times heart-breaking and at others filled with dark humour in the face of difficult times. Experiencing significant times of neglect through their childhoods, novelist Louise Beech opens up about her childhood living with a mother who struggled to care for her four children. Louise at a very young age became almost a mother to her younger siblings, and that firm bond carries the siblings through to a time when as older adults they had to handle the fact that their mother attempted suicide by jumping off the Humber Bridge but surviving.

An endearing story of love and strength in a familial situation that is unbearably hard for the siblings.

I'm a huge fan of Louise Beech's novels so was very keen to read her memoir. This book is heartbreaking and devastating but it's so beautifully written and a book that I just wanted to keep reading. Louise is so honest and open about her childhood and about her relationship with her mum. Reading about her mum's suicide attempt was difficult along with the aftermath. It's hard to read about other people's traumas but it's also healing in a way to see how others have found a way to cope. I have such admiration for Louise and the way she has shared her story. This book is incredible and I highly recommend it.

Heartbreaking and essential reading, the true account of Louise Beech's childhood with her suicidal mother, who implored her children to try and understand what life was like for her managing her mental health issues. Louise has been so honest with us as readers about the chaos pain of her childhood, but manages to forgive her family and move on, which is an immense talent. This is a hard book to read at times, there's so much that the family had to overcome but its to Louise's immense credit that she shared it with us. Thank you.

I really enjoyed Louise's style of writing, but I just could not connect with her story. It broke my heart what her and her family went through and I do hope to try more of her novels.

Before we begin, let me just issue the customary Louise Beech disclaimer. As always, absolutely nothing I write will do justice to this book and the only way to know how truly brilliant it is will be to read it yourself. The other part to this disclaimer is that Eighteen Seconds is not a novel: it is Louise Beech's personal story, so I'll try not to say too much because it is hers to tell.

You can tell from the blurb that Louise Beech deals with some difficult topics in Eighteen Seconds and it is incredibly hard to read. However, Louise Beech is a hugely talented wordsmith and as with her novels, she finds words that describe the trauma she went through perfectly so that we can feel everything with her. I, for one, started crying in the first chapter and did not stop until several minutes after I'd finished reading the last.

An unusual feature of the memoir is that Louise Beech has invited her family and friends (mostly her siblings and uncle) to comment on some of the passages. This has a strong impact as it helped me to see how the events in the author's life are remembered by others who were present at the time. It also demonstrates both the importance and fluidity of memory in a very powerful way. I also loved the snippets of WhatsApp conversations between the family, which shows the reader the wonderful dark humour which they used with each other to help them through the most difficult of circumstances.

Eighteen Seconds was originally entitled "Daffodils" and I loved the motif that runs the whole way through the memoir. I enjoyed reading the facts and quotations about daffodils at the beginning of each chapter and was fascinated by how each one applied to the contents of the chapter.

I have never been touched quite so much by a memoir as I have by Eighteen Seconds, so even if you don't read non-fiction very often and only read one memoir this year, make it this one.

"This is my story. No fiction to hide behind."

February 2019. As author Louise Beech took her usual morning walk she paused to photograph some early daffodils she was surprised to see. Five hours later she gets the devastating news that her mother has jumped from the Humber Bridge. Had Louise not stopped to take that photograph, she might have been there when it happened.

May is Mental Health Awareness Month, so it feels like the perfect time to be sharing this review. Powerful, poignant and heart-wrenching, Eighteen Seconds is the true story of Louise’s life and the aftermath of the harrowing event that shook her family to its core. It was hard-hitting and emotional from the start, and I cried many times while listening to the audio version of this book. But this is Louise Beech, and even the most solemn of stories cannot be told without her trademark wit, and there is lots of laughter amongst the tears. However, this isn’t only her story. It is also the story of her family, and includes interviews and quotes from her siblings and other family members that discuss how events impacted them. The strong bond Ms. Beech shares with her siblings is clear to see, and I loved their banter and their sense of humour, which they use as a coping mechanism and a way to lighten the darkest of times. I loved her reflections of her grandmother and the special relationship they shared. These were deeply moving and made me think of my own Nan, who I was very close to.

"... humour is the wonky mirror for emotions often too difficult to look at directly."

This isn’t an easy read, but it is an important one, featuring topics such as trauma, mental health, suicide, and abuse. It also highlights how dysfunction, pain and trauma don’t only affect us in that moment, but our whole lives, with ripple effects trickling down through the generations as we attempt to not only survive, but flourish, and break those harmful cycles. And Louise seems to have achieved this. Her love for her own children shines brightest of all in this book and it is evident she is a wonderful mother. I admired her ability to help her children through their problems while navigating her own pain and breaking those toxic cycles.

"I discovered the one thing that thawed me: writing."

There is no question that Beech is a talented author. She is one of my favourite authors and I’ve loved every book of hers that I’ve read. Consequently, I expected this book to be well written, but I was unprepared for just how beautiful, potent and unflinching her prose would be this time around. The narration was fantastic and perfectly conveyed the appropriate emotions for the listener while bringing to life those whose stories are being told. Though my own story is obviously different, her story resonated with me on a personal level in many ways, particularly the exploration of the effects of trauma in chapter five. I laughed, cried, raged, and felt every emotion in between as I was swept away by this phenomenal and courageous memoir.

Eighteen Seconds is a tableau of heartbreak, healing, and forgiveness that demands to be read. Piercingly frank, raw, heartrending, and courageous, it never shies away from the pain and messiness of family and life, striking a resonant chord as it pulls on your heartstrings and then ties them back together with uplifting humour. Louise’s story is one I will never forget and I applaud her for being brave enough to share it with the world. It is a reminder that those who have been through the greatest pain often have the kindest hearts and brightest smiles, and my admiration for this author has grown after reading her story.

Bravo, Louise, and thank you.

This is a difficult book to review as it’s obviously so personal to Louise Beech, who has laid herself and her family bear to tell the tragic story of her and her siblings’ childhood. I greatly admire her bravery. There were parts of the book that made me cry, parts that enraged me and as a counterpoint, there were parts that comforted me. This book could be very triggering for some readers, so should be approached with care but for those readers, like me, who stayed the journey they hopefully will join me in wishing Louise and her siblings a happy future, despite the past and I also hope the writing of this memoir has been beneficial and cathartic.

Fantastic… Writer Louise Beech looks back on the events that led to the day her mother wrote down her last words, then jumped off the Humber Bridge. She missed witnessing the horror herself by minutes. Louise recounts the pain and trauma of her childhood alongside her love for her siblings with a delicious dark humour and a profound voice of hope for the future.

“we could all learn a lot from being in another person’s head for eighteen seconds.”

I don’t know about you but eighteen seconds in my head could lead you anywhere… the “exciting” world of pensions, the dark world of crime fiction, the hectic world of parenting… chaos but nothing quite like the head of Louise Beech’s mum. Through Eighteen Seconds, I spent some time in Beech’s head through her recollections of her childhood, young adulthood and the aftermath of her mother’s suicide attempt.

This memoir is heartbreaking, not just with Beech and her family dealing with their mother’s suicide attempt but with the sibling’s’ childhood. I was bereft to read of the experiences of the bubbly individual that I know.

The author’s protective and loving nature to her children shines through the book. The way a mother can soften the blow of a grandparent’s condition is a knack and Beech really has it. I identified with that having had to tell my own boys their grandpa had cancer which I personally found hard.

There are sparks of the Beech humour I’ve see on social media and in person which lightens the mood of what is very serious and emotional subject matter. The fact the whole family has a similar sense of humour is really comforting. The banter between them both in person and in their WhatsApp chat really did entertain me.

Beech breaks up her personal narrative with little interludes about daffodils. The epitome of spring, the bright yellow flowers the UK sees on the roadside and in the supermarkets as well as their own gardens. Alongside the family banter, these ditties give this intense personal read the little breaks this reader needed to catch her breath and emotions.

Eighteen Seconds left me emotional and upset. The writing as with all the author’s books is beautiful but this story really is raw and from the heart which made it more powerful. It’s fact, personal experience, not the author’s imagination running wild at sea or in a fiction-free future. Louise Beech has opened the emotional door into her life in an exceptional book and all I want to do is give her a huge hug.

We never know what is going on inside someone's head, we may think we do but its impossible to truly know another person's thought processes. However, in Eighteen Seconds, writer, Louise Beech, lays bare her thoughts and feelings as she shares this very personal account of her life, from her upbringing by a narcissistic, and negligent, mother, to the time when, in 2019, her mother jumped off the Humber Bridge, in a tragedy, which has had long lasting repercussions.

Eighteen Seconds is not an easy book to read and there were times when I had to stop and take a breather but there was never a second when I wasn't emotionally involved especially when the saddest moments of the author's life were shared in heartbreaking detail. Any personal memoir can sometimes feel intrusive and uncomfortable but Eighteen Seconds is none of these things. With skilful writing, which this author does so well, we are given a unique glimpse into her life, and that of her siblings, which is, at times, raw, brave and brutally honest, however, there is also tremendous energy, and the family's wry sense of humour and the obvious love between the siblings, brings some light relief. Tremendous credit must therefore go to the author for bringing the minutiae of her life into sharp focus and for allowing us a privileged glimpse into her family's painful past.

Over the last few years Louise Beech has written some of my absolute favourite novels, her writing is beautifully empathic and her ability to bring her characters to life is remarkable. It is humbling to now know that during some of her darkest days she was writing the novels which have come to mean so much to so many people.

Whenever you see Louise Beech, whether it be on social media, at a book event or doing one of her hilarious videos with the lovely Pert Dalrymple (Grace) she always has a smile on her face, but a smile can hide so much and we never know what's really going on in anyone's life behind that smile and the same can be said for Louise, that is until now...

Eighteen Seconds is her memoir, which begins with her mum jumping off the Humber Bridge and continues with Louise and her siblings laying bare their feelings about that terrible day, their dysfunctional childhood and how they have survived this trauma with not only the love and support of each other, Grandma Roberts and Uncle Edwin but also by maintaining a sense of humour which was their coping mechanism through all the pain. Each chapter begins with a quote about daffodils, which highlights the significance of this flower to the story. Having lost my father to suicide when I was ten (although I lost him way before then) I wasn't sure whether I'd find it too hard to read this memoir, but I'm glad I did as I could relate to many of the emotions that Louise and her family faced during their childhood and the hope that they could dare to have for the future. This book is a raw, emotional and heartbreaking account of Louise's life so far, which she has laid open for us, the readers, to share, I am pleased she had the courage and strength to do it and for that I thank and applaud her.

I'd like to thank Ad Lib Publishers and Netgalley for the approval, I will post my review on Goodreads now and Amazon on publication day.

A harrowing but ultimately uplifting memoir of a tumultuous childhood and a young woman learning to survive through writing. There is dark humour to lighten the sorrow and distress, and some beautiful writing.

This memoir drew me in from the first page. Louise has such an incredible way of communicating her emotions into words. I felt her pain, her anger, her confusion. She discusses some very heavy subject material including substance abuse, suicide and child sexual abuse. There were certainly parts of the book that were difficult to read, yet she could follow up with a humorous conversation between her siblings and uncle. I love how completely honest she was, even when it came to her dark humor. This memoir may not be for everyone but I'm so glad she gathered the deep personal strength it took to write such a deeply honest memoir.

It seems very hard to review a memoir in which the author has completely laid herself open and told her painful story of her and her siblings relationship with their mother. But, although this tale is pretty harrowing and devastating in many places, the love and humour they share shines throughout the book and has got them through the most difficult times of their lives..
I've always found Louise's books raw and realistic, and with this story, her own, she's sure to have endeared herself to new readers who may feel empathy with her as they too have had to face demons within their own familiarial structure. If it can help one person come to terms with things the way Louise and her siblings have then its definitely a book worth reading

I have literally devoured this book over the course of a couple of days. It was one I was obsessing about when I wasn’t reading. But the difference is, it’s a memoir. (The audiobook is called Daffodils) this memoir also I knew this would be amazingly special because it is written by a woman who destroyed me with her book The Lion Tamer Who Lost.

It’s never easy to review a memoir because you can’t really comment on what aspects of the book you liked, the characters, or the plot. Here we have Louise’s thoughts and feelings on everything that she has laid bare.

Also, when reading you know that the author doesn’t want sympathy for their life, they don’t need your validation from it either. They bare their soul and they are inviting you to a small slice of their life that they want to share. Instead, I felt validated, I’ve been through a small portion of what Louise has and her book made me feel that my feelings and thoughts are my own to have. I own that, I own my life.

Writing this, you can tell has been cathartic, and reading the update from 2021 I kinda cheered, and most definitely smiled. I told Louise this book should have been called How to be Brave if she hasn’t already used that title. Because what she has done since is incredibly brave and she owns it.

My heart does go out to Louise and her family. But what I loved the most about the book is the Whatsapp group she has with her family. They are her true family, she’s the matriarch and the love they have for each other is something I could only dream of from my family. My relationship with my mum is now borne of a friendship and no one understands it. I’ve had things said to me that I treat my mum wrongly, and I shouldn’t speak to her the way I do, but her response, I do the same to her. She shrugs and walks off. But reading their WhatsApp and glimmering into their privacy, made me smile. Because of the way they are, is the same as my mum and I. I loved the fondness behind the jokes, the love, and the compassion.

This book resonates with me and I can’t thank Louise enough for being brave and sharing her story. It is a powerful story of having to grow up, way way WAY too quickly, and having the strength to carry on. In the most fabulous way, she always does.

It will stay with me and remind me that it will be ok.

Here is a memoir that I would imagine was difficult to write. Yet Louise does it with both the seriousness and humour. I found this book totally compelling. The ways she interlinked past and present within the book was pure genius.
Highly recommend reading this book.
Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for gifting me this book,

You just can't review books like this with any words that will do justice. To write any memoir takes courage. It's extremely brave to put yourself out into the world between the pages of a book. But to write a memoir that charts the days after your mum throws herself off the Humber Bridge, coupled with glimpses in a childhood that was not the happiest (and that's putting it mildly) is bravery and courage on a whole new level.

Louise Beech is one of life's gifts. As hard as it must have been to write and at times to read, I have loved this memoir.

An absolute must read and a massive 5 full whack stars.

In recent years, I’ve become fond of non-fiction. What started with a challenge to finally pick up the few non-fiction books I had on my TBR ended with me actively seeking out new books. Despite my new-found love for non-fiction, I seldomly choose biographies and memoirs. (I think I might still be traumatised from having to wade through Gabriel García Marquez’s for my Spanish lit class at uni 😬).

Eighteen Seconds came out as an audiobook under the name Daffodils in 2022 and I’ve been on the fence about it ever since. I have read and loved every book Louise Beech has ever written, so of course I wanted to read her memoir as well. However, memoirs are a tricky thing. What if the memoir shows you a side of the person you admire that you didn’t know, what if it puts that person in a completely different light, what if it spoils their art for you forever?

Moreover, considering the event that kicked off the introspection that led to this memoir – her mum’s suicide attempt – and the fact that all of Louise’s books have made me well up, also knowing that there are autobiographical bits in there, I was afraid it would make for some very heavy reading.

Hence the fence I sat on for much too long. When I came across Eighteen Seconds on NetGalley, I made the split second decision to request it, to trust in the universe and the publisher to make the decision for me, and I saw my request accepted with mixed feelings…

I won’t lie, it’s not the lightest of reads. Louise Beech and her siblings have been through A LOT. And some of that is horrifying and/or harrowing and/or absolutely heartbreaking. It made me sad to think about some of the things Louise has had to hide behind that dazzling smile. However, much of it is also heartwarming. The bond with her siblings is incredibly strong and their humour really does lighten up the whole memoir, as does the love for her children.

I can’t tell you how much I feel for the little girl who fought so hard and well into adulthood too. For a bond she now knows was never there with a mother who showed more than a few narcissistic tendencies throughout her entire life. For her own mental health, and that of her younger siblings. I can’t tell you how much I feel for the kid who only ever had one adult in her life who made her feel that everything would be alright, and it wasn’t her parents.

Much like Louise’s fiction, her memoir is not a cheap sobfest. It made me sad and it made me smile and yes, it punched me in the gut, but what I was left with after reading it, is a better understanding of both the woman and the author. I loved the references to her fiction, learning what real-life event or person sparked a fictional one. And instead of spoiling her art for me forever, I now appreciate it even more. I am truly grateful to the universe and Mardle Books for helping me off that fence, I would have missed out. I would happily recommend Eighteen Seconds to readers who enjoy memoirs and / or who love Louise’s books.

Eighteen Seconds is out on 27 April.

Massive thanks to Mardle Books and NetGalley for the eARC. All opinions are my own.