An interesting coming of age novel which has plenty of nuance, doesn't drag on, and really plays into the complex family dynamics. The characters were well rounded and the storyline was interesting. A solidly good read!

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for granting me free access to the advanced digital copy of this book, as this book has already been published, I will not share my review on Netgalley at this time.

Very readable, but difficult to connect to Emily. I'm of the same generation as the MC so I understand the angst, but Emily is extremely passive.

4.25 stars

Emily Novak sees the world through her camera - her brother Zack's rebellious ways, her parent's confusing expectations and her own struggles with where she fits in. This story follows Emily and her family through two decades as she navigates college, family heartbreak and trying to support herself as a photographer.

-I loved how this book allowed us to grow up with the character of Emily. We witness and see everything that happens, all of her complex thoughts and feelings. Because of this, she felt incredibly real.

-The pace of the book is also so well done. Although it spans two decades, it doesn't feel rushed or shallow. The story is well developed, picking out the key moments yet still flows well.

-I love books where people's lives are realistic. Emily's struggles are there and real but it doesn't feel romanticised. I connected to her and empathised with a lot of what she felt. It made me feel seen.

-There was some incredible mental health, LGBTQ+ and Jewish representation.

-I'd recommend it to anyone who loves coming of age stories and fiction that captures realistic life.

Thank you to the publisher, author, and NetGalley for providing me with an ARC in exchange for my honest rating and review.

Have you ever watched a movie that won tons of awards and you finally watch it and it’s so boring that you struggle to finish it? That was this book for me. I could see critics rating it high, but the general population rating it low. The pacing was so slow and I found it tough to stay interested enough to keep reading. HOWEVER!! This truly was a good story and the artistry was beautiful. The timeline was a little confusing to follow at the beginning, but it got clearer as things went on. By the end I was feeling very real emotions towards the characters. When I finished the book, I had to stare at the wall and think about life for awhile, so it wasn’t a total waste of time to read this book. If you don’t mind a slow burn, I would say give this book a try!

A story about navigating conflict in family, nuances in the Jewish experience, and a great example of queer time theory. I'll be honest, I saw a lot of myself in Emily's story. Her experience with her family really hit home and felt uncomfortably familiar. But the writing really wore me down. I understand the book was trying to show all these formative experiences in a mellow tone, but it felt like it was dragging and once I got to points I thought I'd enjoy I was shocked to find myself bored and my attention wondering elsewhere while reading. Had I not pushed myself to finish it for this review I'd probably have DNF'ed it. which is a shame because a story that I see so much of myself should hit harder. The book does really well where it explores themes of depression and grief, but joyful moments felt unrewarding because the writing style never changes to match that. Tonal consistency is important, but tonal shift in small amounts is crucial. After awhile, even the heaviest scenes numbed because when everything is depressing, the sad parts loose their impact. The beginning of the book is the best part, when Emily is still a child, but after it just looses it's impact. the time jumps also frustrated me because suddenly she was 30 and the book acts as if we're supposed to catch on but the prose never change to reflect that. Her inner monologue stays the same at age 13 and age 30 and later. So much so that I felt weirded out when her brother is getting married because in my mind he was still 10 since we don't see any growth from Emily or anyone else, only told about it. Overall it's a decent story, just the writing style and prose that really kept me from being fully invested in it.

When I requested the arc for this book I had absolutely no idea what I was about to dive into. This book, which I picked because it was tagged as lgbtq+, turned out to be one of my most gut-wrenching reads of the last few years.

The main character's journey hit way too close to home. Growing up in a religious environment, with parents that love you but can't help but need more and more from you, grief and what it does to those who stay, how to face death time after time after time, knowing it will wreck both you and your family. GOD. I felt Emily's grief in every single one of her sentences. I felt it like a child does when they can't really understand it and I felt it like a lost young woman does when she's been through more and more yet feels as clueless as when she started her journey.

Religion, grief, family, life expectations... nothing can hit harder than these topics to another young woman like me who, just like Emily, is still on her journey. The contrast between her and her younger brother, who by the end has lived through his chosen adventures, studied, gotten married, had two children and is now going to die, is stark. Her story brings solace to anyone who still hasn't found their footing yet and is still in their trial-and-error phase.

Don't misunderstand me, I think this book would be to anyone's liking, the pace is amazing, the narration keeps you engaged and Emily is a very likable character whose experiences and feelings everyone can somehow relate to. Yet, if you're a 20-30yo old woman this will hit you harder than anyone else.

Overall, I would definitely recommend this. It had honestly been a long while since a book made me feel SO MUCH.

Becoming Emily Novak by Audrey Beth Stein

Published: January 31. 2023
Audrey Beth Stein
Pages: 240
Genre: Literary Fiction
KKECReads Rating: 4/5
I received a copy of this book for free, and I leave my review voluntarily.

Audrey Beth Stein is the author of the picture books BEAR AND DRAGON CAT, DO OVER, LOOK AT ME, and THE DAY MY BEST FRIEND AND A MIGRAINE SLEPT OVER, as well as the memoir MAP, which was a Lambda Literary Award Finalist. She earned an MFA from Emerson College and taught creative writing workshops for a decade at the Cambridge Center for Adult Education.

“Some days were better than others.”

Emily followed the rules and did what she knew would make her parents happy. She didn’t rock the boat or push boundaries. She knew she was different, but she also liked being safe. As she grows up and realizes her comfort zone holds her back and hides some truth, she makes amends. Then she gets the worst phone call.

This was a different book. It wasn’t thrilling or exciting, but something about it felt very authentic.

The family dynamic, drama, and the secrets no one wanted to talk about were all so realistic.

This was a quick glimpse of growing up of going through things that happen in life. Grandparents die. Families fight. There are things no one talks about. Traumas we don’t discuss. Rules that we break, chances we take, and regrets we have.

I found this story arc quite sad. Emily was so reserved and sheltered that she didn’t allow herself to experience things because she was afraid, which is understandable. I loved the balance between Emily and Zack.

Their dynamic was well done. Zack didn’t play by the rules, he didn’t do what anyone else expected, and he seemed fearless. Emily envied that. He also encouraged her to be herself without regret.

This story was about growing up, family, forgiveness, and love.

such a cute and heartwarming story. i found the main character to be really endearing. excellent writing and a story i’ll be thinking about for months to come. really enjoyed this.

Please note, this review was originally posted on QueerOnTheStreet.com, an LGBTQ+ news and culture site for NYC queers and beyond.

BOOK REVIEW: ‘Becoming Emily Novak’ Is A Heartwrenching Coming-of-Age

“Becoming Emily Novak” by Audrey Beth Stein is a heartwrenching coming-of-age story with themes of love and loss; there was not a chapter where I did not shed a tear or two.

Stein starts the story with a young Emily at her grandfather’s funeral. While I am not Jewish, the description of Emily’s experience at the funeral home, along with the grief she is going through, made my chest hurt. I was reminded of when I lost my own grandfather at 13 years old, the same age as Emily. Young Emily was a relatable, lovable and sometimes sassy character, however, that changed in the following chapters.

After the funeral, the story weaves in and out of Emily’s pre-teen and teenage years, which gives us insight into what’s happening in her personal life. Emily as a teenager is more of a quiet, conservative homebody – I was the opposite, which made relating to her difficult but it was still doable. The big jumps in time and lack of a tangible timeline made following along difficult.

For example, when her younger brother, Zack, gets into trouble, we learn he is 16 years old and born in 1977, which makes the reader believe it is roughly 1993. However, a few pages later, the Novak parents request for him to take the cellphone – while the cellphone prototype was invented in 1973 and became available for the public in the early ‘80s, they were expensive. Cellphones weren’t really common to have until the late ‘90s so it gets a bit confusing.

Emily’s relationship with Zack was rocky during this time, too. The two siblings were opposites; truly night and day. Once he leaves home after high school, Emily is forced to take a look at her life and ask herself: what do I want? Questions such as that one are important to ask ourselves in order to understand who we are and what we want out of life, at least, in that moment.

“Becoming Emily Novak” is billed as an LGBTQ+ YA book and I would agree, sort of. Halfway through the book, the reader meets Emily’s soon-to-be-girlfriend. The buildup was slow and painful, much like most of our “coming out” experiences and for the most part, believable.

While I have no first-hand experience as an out queer person in the ‘90s because I was only born in 1994, I do know that it was much more difficult and queer folks faced more challenges. That being said, I was still disappointed when Emily was dumped and her ex-girlfriend ended up marrying a man.

Why?

I hate the “gay until graduation” saying (which, for the record, was never mentioned in the book) – I have no actual proof but I believe it’s rooted in anti-bisexual beliefs. But that’s just a working theory.

However, I do think “Becoming Emily Novak” is a conversational piece about coming out later in life.

There’s more to the story, of course, but I’ll leave that for you to read yourself.

To purchase “Becoming Emily Novak” by Audrey Beth Stein, visit the Good Reads page to find links when it's released on Jan. 31, 2023.

A really fascinating character study of a Jewish family. I really enjoyed the progression of this book and how it followed the family so intricately.
Wonderful writing!

2.5

A story on what is means to be queer, Jewish and dealing with the complicated entanglements we experience in our families.

I had high hopes for this novel given the themes. Although an easy read - you can read this in one session. I was disappointed by the writing style. Emily was a perpetual teen. Her voice never changed and shifted with what was happening in her life. She read at 30 how she read at 13.

I found there to be minimal character development and things only started to really happen in the last third of the novel.

I feel as though it would have been better if this novel wasn’t for adults but for younger readers with some editing in place to make it appropriate for younger readers. I believe younger readers would really enjoy the themes and writing style, but for an older reader, it can come across as juvenile in parts.

The discussions on Judaism between Zack, Emily and their parents were interesting and besides the appropriation of dreadlocks, Zack was the only real interesting character. There was good character development when it came to him and I just wish I was reading a story on Zack rather than Emily who I found quite boring.

I don’t think I was the right reader for this, which is a disappointment as I was really excited to read about a queer Jewish woman finding her way to be faithful to those around her and to herself.

I liked the easy-going style, and the way the family’s Jewishness was woven into the story. However, Emily as a character showed little development in the early part of the novel. The one moment that stood out was her attempts as a teenager to try and do things around the house for her grieving mother, only to be in the wrong no matter what she did or didn’t do. The difficulties in the parents’ relationship faded away without comment, and overall there was little conflict.

For a few chapters, all the focus was on Zack (Emily's brother) and his issues, with Emily pretty much reduced to an observer. This made me less interested in her story. There was certainly no sense that Emily had any ambition or drive, so I didn’t believe for a moment she could have been admitted to Harvard.

The novel drifted along with little urgency as Emily moved through her adolescence and college degree, although it began to pick up as she moved into her post-college photography career. I simply never felt that I cared much about Emily or her future, or what she was becoming, which reduced the novel’s emotional impact at the end.

My thanks to NetGalley for providing me with an advance review copy.

Emily grew up in a not so typical Jewish family. She had a devoted father and sometimes mother. Because sometimes her mom was there and present and sometimes she stayed in the bed. While Emily did her best to navigate life and she knew it into make sure her brother Zack was on the street and narrow she knew she was unlike other females in her family. She would’ve rather worn a suit then a dress in comfortable heels and that wasn’t the only difference. Emily was the perfect Jewish daughter except for the part of her that weren’t.. I love this book I love Emily I love her family even her maybe mom she had a very loving family but would they love her if they knew the part of her self she was hiding? Emily Burns a lot in this book and it still learning but this is a feel good read that I totally was surprised by and thoroughly enjoyed. This is a definite five star book. It deals with LGBTQ issues and dysfunctional families and more and it all makes for such a wonderful book. I thoroughly enjoyed and loved this book. I will definitely be reading this again in the future. I received this book from NetGalley and the publisher but I am leaving this review voluntarily please forgive any mistakes as I am blind and dictate my review.

A story about an American Jewish young woman, Emily growing up. Learning to be an adult while trying to understand her family, love and their relationships.
Death, her mother's depression, family dynamics between Emily and her brother as they grow up..
All through the point of view of Emily, her experiences, struggles, healing.

Thank you NetGalley and Audrey Beth Stein for the opportunity to read this book.

Thank you NetGalley for the e-ARC I received of this book. It will be released to the public on Jan 31.

The best word to describe #BecomingEmilyNovak by #AudreyBethStein is "moving." This coming-of-age, slice-of-life novel follows Jewish, competitive, good girl Emily Novak from high school to adulthood. Emily finds herself behind the lens of a camera, and her constant forays into photography document her family as a whole.

What this book does so well is capture the unspoken. The fraught, difficult family dynamics that affect *everyone,* not only the main players in a family drama. For example, Emily's mom has a falling out with her sister Ninian. Everyone is affected, including Emily, and her loyalties are divided. Is she allowed to miss her cousins? How should she manage the Not-Mom who appears in the wake of her grandparent's death? These are the truths that most of us have lived but don't like to think about - the childhood traumas that did not necessarily "rate" in our minds or that we simply accepted as normal.

Emily's younger brother, Zack, refuses to follow the rules. He drinks, he smokes, he dates non-Jewish girls. He isn't interested in continuing Jewish rituals post Bar-Mitzvah. He doesn't attend college, let alone an Ivy League school, as Emily does. Emily continues to maintain a relationship with Zack even when their parents are at their wits end as to what to do with him. And Emily's photography continues to document important moments as she grows and becomes.

This is a portrait of a messy, confusing entry into adulthood- without the certainties that other generations may have felt. Emily and Zack both live their Judaism and their lives authentically, even though they may not resemble the lives or commitments of generations past. My only quibble with the book was that the ending felt abrupt and unfinished- which may have been deliberate in that Emily is still "becoming" even when we close the back cover.

This is the story of a Jewish family told exclusively by the eldest child, Emily. It begins with a quick scene from childhood and moves into Emily's later childhood, pausing at age 13 as she experiences the death of her maternal grandparents and her mother's depression. This is a family that avoids, well, everything important and focuses on success and achievement, with high expectations for both Emily and her younger brother, Zack. But each child reacts in opposite ways. Emily is the A student with a camera constantly by her side, who attends an Ivy League college. Zack rebels, getting high, dating a non-Jewish girl, getting in trouble with the police, and refusing to go to college. While Emily moves through her college years having had no romantic relationships, she ends up in a relationship with another girl while Zack is roaming the country experiencing life. How each Novak child reconciles their family issues into adulthood is the focus of the second half of the book, still from Emily's POV.

In many ways, this is a book I've been waiting for--an in depth look at a modern, American Jewish family living in the suburbs. It was especially welcomed as a December read in the midst of the blizzard of Christmas novels, particularly among Sapphic genres.

I'm going with 5 stars here in spite of some of my reservations.

The book starts out slowly and it's difficult reading through the first third to figure out what the book is about, except it's clear from the title that Emily's arc or evolution is the overreaching theme. I wish the book had begun differently so it could have grabbed me earlier on.

Much of Emily's earlier years, up through her first relationship, are told at somewhat of a distance. We get more insight into the family dynamics, but less about Emily's life outside the family, other than a chronicle of events ("She visited with high school friends."). It's clear that Emily is closed off and very self-protective, but yet she has a life and connections that aren't fully explored until later on in her early adulthood.

The second half of the book is beautiful and highly engaging as Emily begins to truly deal, with Zack, her parents, her photography, herself. And it's such a breath of fresh air that the author doesn't place Emily in some happily ever after relationship ending, but still shows us how Emily finds love in a way that isn't portrayed very often in Sapphic fiction.

The start of the book was quite slow and it took me a while to warm to the characters. It seemed to get going when Emily started college and after that, I finished the book in a single setting. I love how the book focused more and more on her relationship with her brother and how it evolves as they enter adulthood, and thought the author portrayed Emily's dating history sensitively and realistically. This will stay with me for a long time.

This book drew me in with the cover image of a camera and Jewish characters, both of which are things are prominent in my life.

The story itself was fine, not amazing but not terrible. To me it felt like I was reading someone’s autobiography more than a fictional book. Like someone was recounting real life events that had happened and I just had the misfortune of being the one to stop and listen.

For the first half of the book we jump back and forth between present time and Emily’s memories of being younger and then it stops about half way through the book. This led to me reading Emily as perpetually thirteen years old since that was the base age for the beginning, even after we got to college and her living on her own. I recognize that part of the point this book is trying to make is never feeling like you’re grown up and facing the trauma of your childhood, but it didn’t really come off that way and so Emily just maintained an immature take on her world for most of the book.

The most interesting parts of the book - to me - where the discussions of Emily and Zack’s relationship to Judaism as they grew up and I wish that that had been expanded upon more.

I realize this story takes place in the 90s/early 00s but giving the brother dreadlocks was entirely unnecessary, we already knew who Zack was by that point, and it had no point except in making me grimace at the appropriation.

The vocabulary for some things was also odd like referring to Emily’s family members as “females” and her cousins, the “eight year old” and “six year old”. The cousins titles were intentional but I couldn’t make out a reason why, we get the name of one of them towards the end and there’s no fanfare about the reveal that made me go “Ah, I see why this decision was made now.”

There’s also some fairly odd formatting choices that I cannot tell if they were done intentionally or not but made it so I was never fully invested in what I was reading.

Thank you to NetGalley for making this available in exchange for an honest review.