The Collected Regrets of Clover by Mikki Brammer is a heartwarming and beautifully written novel that truly took me by surprise. This story follows Clover, a death doula, who helps people through their final days, guiding them toward peace and acceptance. But as she listens to their regrets and final wishes, she begins to question the way she’s been living her own life.

Clover’s journey is emotional, introspective, and filled with so much heart. Her compassion for others is inspiring, but it’s the lessons she learns about love, friendship, and living without regrets that really struck a chord with me. The book touches on so many deep themes—grief, human connection, and the importance of cherishing every moment. The supporting characters are just as memorable, adding layers of warmth and wisdom to Clover’s story.

This novel isn’t just about death; it’s about life, in all its beauty and messiness. I couldn’t put it down and found myself reflecting on the things that matter most to me. It made me think about the legacy we leave behind and how we can live more authentically, without fear of missed opportunities.

If you’re looking for a novel that will pull at your heartstrings and leave you with a renewed appreciation for the small, precious moments in life, The Collected Regrets of Clover is an absolute must-read!

Clover witnessed her first person dying when she was just a small child. Now she has watched 97 people die which might sound a little weird however it is her job as a death doula to sit with those who are dying and watch that ending happen. During the course of her job, she has created three journals from those that have died: Confessions, Advise, and Regrets. Clover uses these journals as a source of guidance and will periodically choose people’s regrets to fulfil on their behalf.


A book that stares death right in the face in the way that this book does was always going to be a little bit confronting. I did appreciate the openness and respect around death that this book had however it did feel as little trite in places. The message of this essentially came down to living life to its fullest and basically that death comes for us all and we aren’t going to know when that is so today counts. This is a tricky message to convey without being a bit cheesy and a bit surface-level. It was a somewhat rare occurrence where I felt the need to roll my eyes at the almost Hallmark card moments and as a whole a pragmatic tone was maintained.


The strength of this book came from a focus on Clover being a death doula for one character, Claudia. We see Clover at other deaths however Claudia’s story is central to the plot as she has a beautiful approach to her own impending death as well as the way she approaches her “regret”. I just really enjoyed Claudia.


The main negative aspect of this book for me was the romance. By the end of the book, I understood that the romance felt awkward and forced because that was exactly what it was. Clover and her love interest were never really compatible so any romance overtures were going to feel a bit uncomfortable.


At times, Clover’s characterisation was a little quirky in just the wrong way and it was hard to tell if it was a product of her nurture or if she was neurodivergent. I suspect it was a combination of both, in which case I would have liked a little bit more time to be spent on showing characters accepting Clover because it just isn’t fun watching neurospicy characters being ostracised.


Ultimately, for a book about death, this story managed to be optimistic, comforting, and encouraging. I had a good time reading and think there were some great lines that I will be sure to return to in the future.

Thanks to the publisher for providing me with an ARC. Im only 16 months late

Really sweet and heartwarming story that got me emotional at times. I was just a little too on the nose every so often.

This was pure joy.
I’d never heard of a death doula before, so the description of the novel feels a little grim at the start.
But the author brings us on a lovely journey of Clover, who is still grieving herself. Clover comes across as a loner, but not lonely, and we are brought through teenage emotions of making friends, having her first kiss etc as a 35 year old.
The ending is lovely, not quite textbook and I love that Brammer did this.

A warm-hearted and moving story about a socially awkward death doula, Clover, who loves her work supporting the dying in their final days but finds it difficult to confront her own grief following the death of her grandfather. At the beginning of the story, we see her as an observer of people’s lives and a record keeper of her dying clients’ regrets, advice and confessions. Moved by the regrets of one of her clients, Claudia, and supported by a new neighbour determine to befriend her, she seeks to find out what happened to the love of Claudia’s life, leading to new connections and experiences that help her to face up to her issues. The characters were beautifully drawn and the story was compelling and relateable.

Thanks to NetGalley, the author and the publisher for an opportunity to read and review this book.

Although a difficult, and often ignored subject, this exploration of grief was quite light in touch, at times humorous, but thought-provoking. I read it in a couple of sittings while on holiday, and it did have a romantic story quality to it, suited to a holiday read, though perhaps dark glasses are useful when reaching elements that were touchingly sad.
There are sympathetic and not-so-sympathetic characters, The main character’s role as a death doula (though that term is gaining some criticism, based on its roots) is one with which I am familiar, unfolds in her support of the dying whilst also becoming aware of her own unresolved grief and regrets (obviously noted in the title. This story explores our human tendency to ignore death until it is upon us (so clearly identified in the main character’s notebook of the regrets of the dying), and perhaps it will encourage some contemplation about how talking about, and preparing for death, is actually healthy and clearly gives an opportunity to express our wishes for what happens after our demise.

At first, the pace of the narrative was sluggish and it took some time to gain momentum. However, as I delved deeper into the story, my heart went out to Clover - a woman who had endured immense loss and chose to detach herself from others, channeling her emotions into her work as a death doula. But when her profession led her to form genuine connections and a new neighbor became a dear friend, Clover's carefully constructed walls began to crumble. It was truly gratifying to witness Clover's personal growth throughout the pages of this book. For those seeking raw, authentic emotions and a satisfying conclusion, this is a must-read.

Death Dula.
I put off reading this book as it looked as if it would be about someone regretting a relationship, how wrong I was. Obviously I had read the blurb and been fascinated by its promise previously.
Clover, seemingly ignored child of adventure seeking parents who die in a plane crash when she is six. Already thought of as odd at school after she holds the hand of a dying teacher. Clover goes to live with her Grandfather in New York, both quiet people they get along well, he teaches her about kindness and life through example and the routines that they share.
Clover becomes a Death Dula after studying various cultural treatments of the subject and immersing herself in the ways to help people die peacefully, she often attends death cafes, where the subject is discussed openly. She still lives in her Grandfathers apartment surrounded by his belongings and her three pets. Clover has difficulty making friends or having a relationship, the exception to this is Leo an 87 year old neighbour, he has known her since she first moved in with her Grandfather and keeps an eye on her.
At a death café meeting she meets Leo who asks her to help his Grandmother Claudia who is dying. When Clover and Claudia meet there is an instant bond between them, Claudia was a photojournalist, until the birth of her son, she regrets giving up her career and tells Clover of a lover she had many years ago. Clover decides to track down this old lover and gets to meet his Grandson also called Hugo.
Another character in the story is Sylvie a new neighbour who encourages Clover to try things she has never tried before and advises her on romance.
One of the most moving moments is the gift that Claudia gives to Clover.
This novel is full of life lessons but is also funny and moving.
Thank you Mikki, NetGalley and Viking for this ARC

Clover is a death doula - she helps people come to terms with their ending lives. She religiously records their final words of advice, or regrets; to the point where she forgets to live.

I received a free copy from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

The story follows Clover, a woman in her mid-thirties. Despite living in bustling New York, she's a complete hermit. She lives in her late-grandfather's apartment, surrounded by all of his belongings, nearly as lifeless as the rest of his collection.
She lives vicariously through others, without ever connecting with anyone.
Things start to change when she meets Sebastian, and his dying-but-still-feisty grandmother Claudia.

I found the first half of the book very slow and boring. We see everything from Clover's perspective, we get to see flashes of her earlier life, where she was always introverted, but at least enjoyed travelling. Now, her life is non-existent. She avoids everyone except her elderly neighbour/surrogate-grandfather-figure Leo. Her life seems to have no value, except in observing others at a distance.
Clover has developed the habit of writing the final words of the dying in books, splitting them into advice, x and of course, regrets. Any time she is feeling overwhelmed by the world, she finds comfort in reading them.

The book is well-written, and I liked all of the characters that are trying to be a part of Clover's life. I think the author does a great job of showing how disconnected from the world Clover is. And I think that's the problem, Clover's life is a boring thing to concentrate on for such a long stretch.

Claudia's story injects a bit of life - but again, Clover is just relaying someone else's story again.

It's only with the trip to Maine with Sebastian, that the monotonous circle really starts to break.

I really liked how this book ended. That Clover starts to live life on her terms. Yes, she has a love interest for the first time in her life, and it did help her; but the real prize is Clover embracing and being happy with who she is.

I read this book as a buddyread quite some time ago so am thankful for past me’s buddy notes - which is also why this review will read very much like a list of thoughts!

This is my first from this author and I found I instantly liked the writing style. I liked the tone and flow of it, as well as some very well done imagery. There was a line about the clouds in the sky at dusk, a cute description of a haphazardly wrapped gift, the way smell and memory are linked, and a very accurate bus ride in Cambodia!

Clover is a Death Doula - which I didn’t even know was a thing - so as you can imagine the story centres around death and life, our relationships, family dynamics. We learn of Clover’s own life - her relationship with her parents, memories of going out for Sunday breakfasts and reading books with her Grandad, how she collects on her shelves books of people’s advice and regrets from their lives which are shared with her in their last moments… The only thing is, she isn’t really living her own life.

I found Clover’s behavior and choices frustrating at times but I did enjoy the journey of the book. I know a huge amount about birth doulas but not death, so I learned loads - there is also an interesting fact about the Central Park lamp posts which I hadn’t known about either. It is always very humbling to think about death and loss, it brings so much perspective - and it also reminded me, I must write a will.

A gentle, poignant, and sensitive exploration of grief and loneliness. I swung between feeling empathetic towards Clover and wanting to shake her. There were parts of the story that were totally unbelievable and just didn’t fit with the character, otherwise it would have scored 5.

A beautiful, uplifting novel. I'd never heard of a death doula before and this book opened my eyes to the practice. A tender depiction of death and paths taken and not taken. I was rooting for Clover all the way.

This is such a great book. It talks about death but it is such an uplifting read. It felt very honest. The main character is amazing. This book will make you laugh and cry

Rom-coms/ meet-cutes aren't my usual thing but I made an exception for Mikki Brammer's <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/61214136-the-collected-regrets-of-clover" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><em>The Collected Regrets of Clover</em></a> because the main character, Clover, is a <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_midwife" target="_blank" rel="noopener">death doula</a> - and grief-lit is my thing.

It's a simple story - Clover, an introverted and socially-anxious woman, lives a life structured around her work, her pets, and visiting <a href="https://deathcafe.com/what/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">death cafes</a> in New York City. Flashbacks provide context for her chosen profession - Clover's parents died when she was a child, and she moved to the city to live with her grandfather.<!--more-->

Clover collects what she learns from people at their end-of-life in three notebooks - '<em>...the first, REGRETS; the second, ADVICE; the third, CONFESSIONS...</em>' Her notebooks also provide a 'to-do' list, as she tries to fulfill the 'regrets' of others (ranging from learning Nepalise to colouring her hair blue). But of course, when you are so busy living out other people's regrets, you have no time left to follow your own desires. Clover's relationships with a handful of people highlight the deficits in her approach, notably a lack of spontaneity and love.

There are some important messages in this book about end-of-life and bereavement, and I think Brammer explores them sensitively, if not obviously in some of the death cafe scenes. The complexity of emotions about end-of-life, especially the assumption that elderly people might feel they've 'had a good life' and therefore 'happy' to die, is explored in a number of scenes. An exchange between Clover and one of her elderly clients illustrates this -
<p style="padding-left: 40px;"><em>"...I should be grateful for what I've had and should walk toward the end with grace."</em>
<em>"Maybe," I said, resisting the urge to placate. "But gratitude doesn't necessarily free us from sadness - or our fears."</em></p>
The idea that grief does not 'go away' but instead, that we adjust around it, is also explored. There's a quote in there about grief being '<em>...like a bag that you always carry...</em>', which reminds me of an illustration by Mari Andrew that I often share with my own clients.

<img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-38525" src="https://booksaremyfavouriteandbest.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Grief-Mari-Andrew.png" alt="" width="470" height="310" />

At some points I questioned Clover's lack of insight concerning her own unresolved grief but wondered if, because of my work in grief and bereavement, I am expecting too much (and taking away narrative opportunity!).

Lastly, regular readers of rom-coms will enjoy the sweet ending (I don't need things tied in a bow but I understand that's the genre).

I received my copy of <em>The Collected Regrets of Clover</em> from the publisher, Penguin General, via <a href="https://www.netgalley.com/catalog/book/275703" target="_blank" rel="noopener">NetGalley</a>, in exchange for an honest review.

3/5

From Mikki Bramer, The Collected Regrets of Clover follows Clover Brooks, a death doula who sits with the dying (like a reverse midwife) to advocate, support and care for those leaving this mortal plane.

Read on a gorgeous day out, I followed Clover’s journey with life, death and love with a little laughter, some wincing and eventually a couple of tears. It’s certainly not for everyone, as Clover can be hypocritical in her outward actions, but we do see her come to terms with at least some of it.

The story centres on grief, and in a way, the plot followed Clover’s journey through the stages - denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Claudia was my favourite character, followed by Leo - their vivacious natures outstripping my reticence around Clover herself.

The romance element I could have lived without. While it certainly improved towards the end, it initially felt forced and felt like an unnecessary side plot. I almost believe the romance up until the trip to Maine could be cut out.

However, I did enjoy it overall and would still recommend it to people! It’s a poignant insight into the temporary nature of existence and how we should take every opportunity to not live with regrets.

Mikki Bramer’s sentimental debut is a poignant ode to living life to the full.

It’s about Clover Brooks, a death doula living in New York city. She spends her time providing comfort, companionship and support to people in their final days, but she doesn’t really have her own support network. The bustling New York city full of life works perfectly as the backdrop for this quiet story of a life dictated by death.

Clover is an interesting protagonist. She’s in her mid thirties and never been kissed – her character is a little bit of a juxtaposition; extremely kind and emotionally mature in some ways, but in other ways she exhibits behaviour which feels more like someone in their teens or early twenties.

She’s caring, intelligent and independent with a job which involves dealing with people at their most vulnerable. But she’s also extremely naïve, often antisocial, extremely introverted and unconventional. The book does explore her complicated past and the fact that she lost her parents very young, which might go some way towards explaining her uniqueness. And, the world is full of lots of different types of people, so why shouldn’t there be a Clover?

In a way, this is quite a quiet novel, and it’s slow at times. But, the author has a beautiful way of depicting regular interactions and experiences in a way which encourages you to appreciate them and look at them in a new light. I loved her description of a trip to the orchestra; “I closed my eyes and tuned into the ripples of anticipation that always came at the beginning of a live performance. That shared intimacy among strangers where, for just a moment, everyone laud aside the baggage of life to be completely present as one – a communal hopefulness.“

And, the bustling, colourful backdrop of New York city full of life works perfectly for this quiet story of a life dictated by death.

This sentimental debut about a woman who works with death finally learning to embrace life was a little slow for me but, ultimately, hopeful and uplifting. It carries a lovely message about living life to the full that anyone can learn something from.

Overall a good novel, easy to read, and with an original premise, but somehow also forgettable. I doubt I'll remember much of this book in a year time. Just okay.

Great read, perfect escapism.

Thanks to Netgalley and the publishers for letting me read an advance copy of this book in exchange for my review.

Rating: 2.5/5 stars

“Grief is just love looking for a place to settle.”

The Collected Regrets of Clover left me incredibly conflicted on how to rate it. From a reviewers perspective, it’s such an easy recommendation, as I can picture the exact audience that would eat this book up. If Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine meets The Midnight Library sounds like something you would love; you’re going to adore Clover. From a personal perspective, I hated both those comps, and Clovers story was one of my biggest disappointments of 2023.

The Good:
I was originally drawn to this story, for its unique-sounding premise: a contemporary novel, told from the perspective of a bit of an eccentric young woman, who works as a death-doula: the equivalent of a midwife for the dying. Through her work she meets a variety of people (dying and not) who help her grow and heal past her own grief and regrets.
This had the potential to be a contemporary(-romance) that was not only uplifting and cute, but also offered some depth and emotional balance as well. It certainly succeeds on the former half of that expectation, but not so much the latter…
If you’re looking for a cute romance, featuring a bit of a socially inapt female protagonist leaving her comfort zone and exploring friendship and love: this is it. As for the emotional depth; there are some good passages. Cliché mostly, but only cliché because they are true. They are unfortunately few and far between.

The Bad:
I’ve seen plenty reviewers praise this for being “sweet, but not too saccharine”. I disagree: this was too saccharine for my liking. See also the Ugly-section…
I also really disliked the character of Clover, who’s presented to be a wise, compassionate and selfless person, especially as she offers words of comfort within her job. Outside of her job however, she is shown to be an immature, naive, selfish, unprofessional and a complete hypocrite. She intrudes into people’s lives in ways that made it impossible for me to root for her as a protagonist. Snooping into clients personal affairs without consent, romancing the son of a client, not to mention actually spying on her neighbours with binoculars and it being played off as a “cute quirk”. Yikes… Worse than being an unlikable character, she’s an unbelievable one, with an equally unbelievable profession…

The Ugly (A.k.a. why it personally rubbed me the wrong way):
As some of you may know, I’m a medical doctor, working as a resident in Oncology and Palliative Care for the past year. On many occasions, I’ve felt like somewhat of a “death doula” myself… I’ve been at more than my fair-share of death-beds, both professionally and personally, and it’s because of that that I HATE the romanticization of death in media. The perceived wisdom and grace that’s put onto dying people, the misplaced “battle metaphor” of illness, the sanitized death-scenes depicting perfectly made-up people “drifting off into sleep”. It’s a slap in the face to what the real experience is like.
I’m going to quote one of my favourite passages from The Collected Regrets of Clover:

“Unfortunately, death isn’t always the peaceful slipping away that movies depict it to be – often it’s prolonged and very unpleasant. The sensory chaos of bodily functions shutting down or going awry. The gasping. The look of panic as people cling desperately to their final moments. Sometimes family members turn away or run out of the room to spare themselves from having such a confronting scene seared into their brains as the final memory of their loved ones. That’s why it’s so important to have someone like me there. Someone who won’t look away, no matter how harrowing it gets.”

Ironically, it perpetuates those exact stereotypes it critiques here. Clovers job of Death Doula is presented to consist of roadtrips, fulfilling final wishes, and “doing fun things” with terminally ill people and their families. I hate to break it to the fans of this book, but this isn’t the reality of palliative care. It’s beautiful, it’s fulfilling and there are unexpected moments of joy to be had, but it’s also incredibly taxing and far from easy. I wish Mikki Brammer had gone into those aspects as well, rather than serving up a glazed and sugarcoated imitation of the truth instead.

Many thanks to the publisher for providing me with an ARC on exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.

A wonderful story, about the meaning of life and death and the dignity we have with both. It’s a pougnant and engaging debut. Highly recommend.