I really wanted to love this but after reading lots of parenting books I found this one quite basic and didn’t offer anything new for me.

This book emphasizes the crucial role of collaborative parenting, where both parents provide unwavering support to each other, preventing the sole burden of responsibility from falling on one individual. The author's unique perspective as part of a two-dad family unit highlights the significance of actively engaging in your child's life and consistently supporting your co-parent. This approach nurtures the development of strong parent-child relationships and ultimately revolves around the loving and nurturing environment you create for your child.

In a time when diverse family dynamics are increasingly common, this book stands as an invaluable resource for anyone embarking on the journey of parenthood. Kudos to the author for a fantastic book!.

Kind of a deep dive into parenting (in)equalities in modern life and all the ways that both partners sharing the load is best for the health and happiness of the whole family. Some of the topics: skin-to-skin contact in the newborn period; partners being allowed to stay on maternity wards; doing the night shift; parental leave; who should stay at home/cost of childcare; parenting children not related biologically/genetically to one or both parents (adoption, surrogacy, same-sex couples); and more. This was written by someone in the UK, so a lot of the discussion is focused on what type of leave, etc., is offered there. As a US reader, the idea of having a year of parental leave, some or all of it paid, and a partner getting leave also is pretty unheard of. This is also not something that affects me too much at this point since a lot of it was centered around parenting infants, but it was an interesting read and I think it could be helpful for prospective parents to get an idea of how they want their household to work. There were a few things I might have done differently given some of the information included here. 3.5 stars rounded to 4.

3.5 stars (rounded up to 4)🌟🌟🌟🌟

**"It's not about achieving a precise 50/50 split every day. What's more important is genuinely sharing the responsibility rather than one person being in charge and directing the other, and being able to share frustrations when this isn't quite working out, rather than letting them fester."

Overall I enjoyed this book.

The biggest piece of information that I took away from this book, and will be actively using from now on in my life, is that to fully allow my husband to be an equal parent, I need to accept that the way he parents our child or takes care of our home can look different from the way that I do, and this is okay. I need to let go of control and give my husband the chance to work it out for himself. This will give him the chance to not only take on more responsibility but also to feel better about his role in our family. I also learned that my husband is very proactive as a parent and that I need to recognize that more by giving him the chance to accomplish things the way he needs to.

Very informative, and policy and statistic based, while also having personal touches.

With all that being said, what I didn't connect with was:
• It was based in the UK (I am from 🇨🇦 )
• It could have been way shorter than what it was

It was a nice change of pace from the books I have been reading, and I appreciate Netgalley for providing me with this eARC. 📚

**"...and the truth is it is not how good you are at any of this, it is about how committed you are to doing it."

This is an excellent book about modern fatherhood and the importance of parenting equally. It's primarily focused on equal parenting within the United Kingdom and how various social services can both help and hinder that goal. I thought it was very interesting to get insight into another country's system and think about how that changes how father's are encouraged to be involved in their child's life. I think there is a lot applicable to anyone who wants to understand the importance of equally involved parents in the life of a child, and the author did a wonderful job of pulling in personal stories to make the research engaging.

I loved this parenting voice! Getting the dad's perspective on equality in parenting is so needed! The perspective of the LGTBQ parenting experience, even more! Paul Morgan- Bentley overall is a great writer, keeping this subject interesting, entertaining and thought provoking. What is making parenting books helpful for me and many I believe is this combination of personal experience and stories as well as research and Morgan- Bentley did this well. A great addition to the parenting book stack and I will be recommending this one to my clients!

Thank you to NetGalley and Thread Books for the ARC!

A really interesting and well-researched book that opened my eyes to many of the challenges around parenting and other countries' approaches.

This was an interesting one, being written by a man who is married to a man and raising a child together. Having this very male perspective in the book, I will admit I had to push back against the fact that I was reading a book by a man about how to arrange child-rearing, wondering if he got to publish it because he's a man. But he does have plenty of useful stuff to say about men and parenting, and as well as it being backed up by research, either things he's read or interviews he's conducted with experts and parents, he also shares details of his own family life.

Morgan-Bentley's central thesis is that men are just as "programmed" to care as women, and that if they have early access to doing the basic care for a baby - encouraged into skin-to-skin contact after birth, not being thrown out of the hospital within hours, taught skills like bathing baby if they don't know already, if the mother is breastfeeding, still taking on responsibilities around that (e.g. going and getting the baby and putting them back down after the night feed), being responsible for weaning, being allowed to just get on with it and being accepted in areas that are inexplicably women-only (like the baby's NHS record!), they will be just as able, "natural" and caring as the mother, and the family is likely to achieve - and model - a truer equality than is available now. It is important that this is supported by policy instruments such as use-it-or-lose-it parental leave that does not undermine mothers' leave, childcare support including financial and alteration of record-keeping to include fathers.

He also has some specific concerns about the way policy handles surrogacy, including naming the surrogate and her male partner on a child's birth certificate until a court order can be gained, leaving medical records falling short and health professionals calling, for example, their baby's birth mother about appointments way after they've amended the birth certificate.

This is two books in one, really, a narrative of how Morgan-Bentley and his husband Robin negotiated the start and continuation of their family and a more journalistic piece about the rights and responsibilities of fathers (of whatever kind: it's made clear that genetic links do not automatically generate better parenting), which being clear that it's not a Fathers For Justice type campaign but a campaign to take pressure off women and enlarge and enhance men's lives in families.

In terms of intersectionality, there is a section about a trans man as a single father and other trans men in general, quite a lot about gay and lesbian parenting but nothing about the impact of ethnicity on parenting and equality in parenting as far as I recall (this would make it an even bigger book, though). Interesting and with solutions gleaned from best practice.

BLOG TOUR REVIEW

Review for 'The Equal Parent' by Paul Morgan-Bentley.

Read and reviewed via NetGalley for Paul Morgan-Bentley and Thread Books.

Publication date 2nd March 2023

This is the first book I have read by this author.

I was originally drawn to this book by its eye catching unique cover and intriguing sounding synopsis and title. The synopsis stated that this book is a 'A myth-busting must-read about creating parenting equality for fans of Caitlin Moran, The Danish Way of Parenting and The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read.' I am a fan of Caitlin Moran so am looking forward to seeing if this lives up to this statement. I must admit I was also biased due to the publisher being Thread. I have yet to read a book published by Thread that I haven't enjoyed. Hopefully this won't be the first... Watch this space! (Written before I started reading the book).

This novel consists of an introduction, 9 chapters and an epilogue.

I will start by saying that this isn't my usual chosen genre but I'm an eclectic reader and happy to read most books. I must say that if you are the same as me and don't normally read non fiction then don't let that put you off and pick up your copy of this great book today. This is one of those books that should be in hospitals, classrooms, play groups and absolutely anywhere and everywhere that parents and children go and it should be read by professionals in all areas of child care along with parents around the world. It is an absolute eye opener and some of the experiences Paul went through as a Dad and some of the things that were suggested to him was absolutely shocking and my jaw dropped reading them!! This book really does go to show how different mums are treated than dad's even when there is only a Dad to care for the child.

AN ABSOLUTE MUST READ FOR ANYONE WITH CHIIDREN IN OR COMING INTO THEIR LIVES!!!


If is a great read packed with valuable information, tasks and tips and Paul's writing and narrative skills ensures the reader that he actually cares about everything he has written about and you can hear the shock, proudness and so many other emotions he has gone through to tell his story in both his writing and voice. He gives his own experiences and tells us where he got any information and statistics from. I ended the book absolutely shocked at how much things need to change to make this world easier and better for Dad's when taking their children out. It wasn't just about Dad's though but also about working parents and one of the things I learnt in particular shocked me!! I was absolutely shocked and disgusted at how much nursery costs. I Robin and Paul were paying £348 a week for Solly to go there four days a week and if they were to send him full time it would cost £19,750 a year!!! I just don't understand how the hell anyone can justify these costs and how they expect people to live like this, particularly now with the cost of living going up. I absolutely loved the titles of each chapter which gives an insight into what the chapters contain. I am going to include these in my review as I'm sure some of them will catch your eye and maybe even intrigue you enough to pick up a copy of this fantastic read. The chapter titles are:

🚹 INTRODUCTION: YOU KNOW WHAT YOU’RE LETTING YOURSELF IN FOR, DON’T YOU?

🚹 GO HOME AND GET SOME REST PANIC AND BONDING IN THE DAYS AFTER BIRTH

🚹 WHO DOES THE NIGHTS? THE MOTHER AND FATHER INSTINCT

🚹 YOU’LL STILL GO TO THE OFFICE A BIT, RIGHT? REIMAGINING PARENTAL LEAVE

🚹 WHICH ONE OF YOU IS QUITTING? RETURNING TO WORK IN THE NURSERY YEARS

🚹 WHO IS THE REAL DAD? WHY PARENTING IS ACTIVE, NOT A GENETIC Condition (Love this one in particular!!)

🚹 DADDY-LED WEANING! HOW NEW FATHERS CAN SHARE THE DOMESTIC LOAD

🚹 SORRY, IT’S JUST FOR MUMS WHY DADS NEED TO BE SEEN AT BABY APPOINTMENTS

🚹 BOYS DON’T WEAR PINK HOW TO STOP LIMITING WHAT OUR CHILDREN CAN BE

🚹 I HAVE TEN DADDIES! EMBRACING MODERN FAMILIES

🚹 EPILOGUE WHEN ARE YOU HAVING ANOTHER ONE?



I read approximately half of this book on kindle and listened to approximately half on audio book. I must also give a huge congratulations to the narrator and author Paul Morgan Bentley who not only brought the storyline to life by really portraying his emotions through his voice so a HUGE congratulations Paul!! I cannot imagine that this was anywhere near an easy feat!!! I am looking forward to discovering more books read and written by yourself as you definitely have a perfect "book" voice!! I sometimes struggle to absorb the storyline through an audio book but if you are the same as me I can promise you will not have that problem with this amazing narrator!!

I absolutely have to share this quote from the book with you as I Absolutely loved it and 10000% agree with it!!!!

" 'To say that a woman who did not give birth to a baby was not a biological mother, to me, is inaccurate because she has all these very biological responses,’she said. ‘Prolactin [a hormone usually associated with breastfeeding] can go up in an adoptive mother. Oxytocin would be changed. There are the neural changes that Feldman and others have documented in Israel now.’I am biased, but I found this rethinking of the term ‘biological parent’really beautiful. Referring to me, Hrdy said: ‘You are very biologically a father.’ "


An Eye opening and intriguing look into the world of parenting from a Dads perspective.


Genres covered in this book Parenting Morals & Responsibilities, Family Health, Non Fiction, Child Care and Parenting amongst others.

I would recommend this book to the fans of the above as well as all parents,, carers and childminders.

275 pages/7 hours 31 minutes

This book is just £3.99 to purchase on kindle, £8.29 in paperback and £16 for the audiobook (at time of review) via Amazon which I think is an absolute bargain for this book!!!

Rated 5 /5 (I LOVED it ) on Goodreads, Instagram, Amazon UK and Amazon US and on over 30 Facebook pages plus my blog on Facebook.

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Thank you to NetGalley and Thread Books for this ARC. It resonated deeply with me as a parent working with my partner to have an equal parenting relationship. This author has a unique experience and as someone in a hetero relationship it was one I never considered- when you are in a partnership with someone of the same sex where do either fall in the gender roles placed on parenting and what does the research say? I appreciated that the message of this was a simple one, that biologically and sociologically fathers can be equal parents and partners and children can and will thrive in many representations of parenthood and family.

I appreciated that I could still relate so much to this as a woman. Paul naturally has his own perspective but he did seek out other voices and this is well researched. I feel like sending this to all my mom friends and expecting friends to inform and support a dynamic that will be best for them and their family. I highly recommend this to anyone who rejects sexist parenting gender roles for themselves and/or for their partner. It gives me hope for a future generation of parents.

This caught my eye because i am a new mom. My husbands job with “great benefits” afforded him no paid paternity leave, so I’m pretty interested in government policy and business practice concerning parental leave. I found it really fascinating to hear what standard practices are in other nations, and admittedly failed to feel sympathy for some of the examples given where fathers received 3, 6, Or 12 months off work. I appreciated learning about all the research that’s been done surrounding parenting and sharing the mental load of the household. However, at times i found that the book seemed more of a personal rant than a well rounded examination of the topic.
I do think that the mentality around paternity leave specifically must change. As a SAHM who only occasionally works outside the home, I felt that this book had a major blind spot as far as addressing the families, like mine, that still go the traditional route but want to be more sensitive to sharing the load at home. For non traditional families, this may be healing, helpful, and enjoyable. For me, it left me with some unanswered questions, and was a little too loaded with the author’s emotions.

I received a free ARC in exchange for an honest review.

Delighted to highlighted this new release in “She Said: 1 Books for International Women’s Day” for the Books section of Zoomer magazine. (see column and mini-review at link)

I honestly just wanted to stand up and applaud after finishing this book. The entire experience we have had as a family since having our two children is right there in black and white and I agreed with pretty much every sentence that was written.

Obviously the author's own experiences were slightly different to mine, looking at the situation from a male perspective but there was plenty of research into other families experiences too which made the arguments and topics covered completely rounded.

We have had two different experiences of parental leave. One where I took the full responsibility, and one where we were both sharing the time spent looking after our baby. What we have come to realise is that the system just doesn't work for so many reasons, and one of those reasons is because the mother is expected to take the career break and no matter what people say, it does have an impact on your work - mentally, financially and in my case, how you are perceived by your employers after returning from maternity leave. With no family close enough to help out, and my partners salary being cancelled out by childcare costs, we were forced into out situation. But, I can hand on heart say that it was the best decision we have ever made. The arguments for this are discussed in detail in The Equal Parent, which makes this an essential read for any expectant parents, parents who already have children but are looking for confirmation of the issues most people are facing today and for all employers who really should have a full understanding of how difficult it is to navigate this time.

A fascinating account of so many different aspects of parental responsibility, I am going to recommend The Equal Parent to everyone I know!

What a riveting read! As an aunt with many nieces and nephews looking to prepare to be a parent myself, this was absolutely THE read. A lot of books about parenting are very focused on executing the actions and less about who is executing it – this does both. It's a timely conversation about what constitutes an equally parenting scenario.