Damn, I hate to be Debbie Downer but this book was a huge disappointment. I loved Irby’s We Are Never Meeting in Real Life, which got extra points because she dedicated it to Klonopin. It was self-effacing, off-kilter, hysterical, and brilliant. She is the queen of anxiety, and since I am also an anxious Annie, she cracked me up with her stories on the subject. She also talked about getting old (though to her, 40 is old, lol—oh, just wait!), which also was sigh-worthy relatable. Next, I read her Wow, No Thank You, and I wasn’t as wowed, though I still gave it 4 stars. I was super excited to see that she had a new book of essays coming out.

Disaster! The opening was funny and wise, and I thought I’d be settling in for a treat. Wrong! Suddenly she’s listing Dave Matthews songs and talking about them one by one. I like Matthews okay, but not enough to know his songs—man, was this essay tedious! I don’t get why she would assume people not into Matthews would think this was fun reading.

Okay, as if this wasn’t bad enough, she devotes an insanely long chapter to Sex and the City—all nitty-gritty talk about specific scenes in this long-running series. (Which, no, I never watched. Well, I think I saw maybe one episode?) Talk about esoteric! Seriously, even if I had seen the series, would I remember these scenes? She would provide alternative plotlines, which sometimes caught my attention but mostly annoyed me because they were basically empty without my knowing how a scene actually went down.

Okay, so Dave Matthews, Sex and the City—I can write off these chapters that were boring and insignificant to me. But what I couldn’t get past was all the raunch—and I mean raunch on steroids! Most of the rest of the book was about diarrhea (her favorite subject), but she also talked about pee, puke, and masturbation (including what kind of porn she likes, and recommending a specific dildo)! I kid you not. I don’t consider myself a prude, but damn, I really don’t want to read about her orifices and what she does with them, I really don’t. She is obsessed with her bowels, especially. She has IBS and that can’t be any fun, but why gather up the whole world and talk, in detail, about her excretions? I know she’s going for over-the-top humor (and probably assumes some of her jokes about experiences in public bathrooms are relatable), but I was grossed out, not entertained. I have the same problem with stand-up comics who talk incessantly about poop or sex; it’s change-the-channel time if they go there.

The last third of the book is good. It’s the old Irby, with lots of hilarious, self-effacing, non-poopy tales. She has a great story about an allergic reaction that had me laughing hard.

Irby has had a tough life and has so many medical problems. I feel for her and up to this point have appreciated her openness, her honesty, her vulnerability. She has a great off-kilter view of the world and is a terrific storyteller. This time, she went too far. I wish she would just stick to funny stories that don’t involve poop, puke, or masturbation.

She has made it big, much to her surprise—she writes for television now, has a super popular blog, and tons of fans. I’m truly glad she is getting the attention she deserves. She’s one smart cookie. I’m guessing her fans will like this book because her voice is so original and funny, and they’ll probably just appreciate how outrageous she is. But nope, just not for me. I’m afraid she’s off my list now.

And this is funny to me—I went from loving the book cover to not liking it at all! I used to think it was hilarious; now all I see is a super pissed-off skunk with sharp, ugly teeth! Not entertaining at all.

I went nuts trying to decide how many stars to dole out. I decided that even though I had such a strong, negative reaction to most of the book, I’ll clutch the last third, which showcased the Irby that I’ve adored in the past, and I’ll round up to 3 stars.

Thanks to NetGalley for the advance copy.

Quietly Hostile is another great collection from Sam Irby. From cooking to cable tv, Sam keeps her trademark humor on fire. I'd call it self-deprecating but she is unapologetic about having chronic illness, being queer, being black, being sexual, being fat. I love the way she is so self-accepting.

Samantha Irby is one of my favorite authors and my favorite essayist. I have never laughed out loud, truly laughed out loud like with tears and having to set the book down until I started reading her books, which I read back to back when I discovered her. Her latest, Quietly Hostile, follows in the great tradition of allowing us an unfiltered and hilarious look into Sam Irby's mind, for better or for worse. I relate to her so much but also enjoy the areas where we differ (i.e. music and Sex and the City). I recommend Irby's writing to all of my friends and if I wasn't too self conscious I'd tell every woman who has that LOOK like she likes funny real things to read her as well. Five stars, easy.

As usual, Sam Irby's writing made me snort and laugh in public, sometimes to the point of tears. The Sex And The City anecdotes alone could be a whole book.

“Quietly Hostile” was my first book by Samantha Irby and I desperately need to get my hands on her previous releases. I don’t know if I’ve ever laughed so much reading any book — Irby’s life is hilarious and her humor is just how I like it: incredibly dry, both creative and blunt, and a little disgusting. The title alone got me because I, too, am quietly hostile at times.

My favorite essays were:
I like it!
The last normal day
My firstborn dog
Body horror!
Two old nuns having amzing [sic] lesbian sex
I like to get high at night and think about whales
What if I died like Elvis
Please invite me to your party

After the first half I thought that “Quietly Hostile” would be an easy five star read for me, but the ladder half of the book disappointed me a little. I skipped most of “superfan!!!!!!!” because I just don’t enjoy when authors retell their favorite shows, even when they try to be funny and re-write the plot. I’ve said this in my review of Carmen Maria Machado’s “Her Body & other Parties” and I will say it again: it’s fun to read alternative endings for every episode of one season of your favorite show, or for every season, but please don’t do it for every episode of the entire series — it gets boring, especially because not everyone is the world’s biggest Sex and the City fan.

That being said, I still had a great time and will recommend “Quietly Hostile” to everyone looking for a light read that makes you cry laughing.
Thank you, NetGalley and Vintage Anchor, for providing me with an arc in exchange for an honest review.

⭐️5
📚Crossed my fingers while requesting this one from the publisher because rejection hurts.
🛍️ An ARC from NetGalley that I am actually reviewing early. Wild.

My favorite essays in order:
1. my firstborn dog
2. two old nuns....
3. what if i died like elvis
4. how to look cool in front of teens?
5. food fight

Every essay is great, but these speak to me either on a personal or molecular level.

'firstborn' is the story of Irby getting her bad-as-hell dog son who I am personally obsessed with via Instagram and believe that she does not post nearly enough pictures of. Getting to reference those wild photos from daycare to accompany this story was an absolute treat.

'two old nuns' tells me that Irby needs to be write a sex scene in someone's movie or book or tv show or something because I was BLUSHING reading this chapter and she's simply re-capping her favorite(?) piece of erotic internet cinema.

'elvis' is a perfect encapsulation of medical trauma. It is so beautifully written while also being sad and tense and incredibly emotional to think about it being peak covid times. That shit is scary. Having the same brainworms of humor deflection even when you might die, it's just so good.

'teens' made me laugh so many times. I work around a bunch of teens/early 20s and having just turned 30 I feel the constant strain to not reveal that I am i fact 900 years old when we have a conversation about cool, young teen things. "What are you doing this weekend" -'Catching up on my sleep and shopping for shoes with arch support for my planters facetious' is what I would like to say, but they would have already walked off. I love that Irby writes about her dog and the kids in her life in the same voice.

Finally 'food fight' is an exact conversation that my spouse and I have had.

Honorable mention -- After I finish watching Friends (I need a show with no real stakes), I think I am going to watch Sex in the City from the beginning to get to the re-boot because I am a loyal fan and also because the chapter about people sending her death threats when it was announced that she'd be writing on it is very funny.

Also, when you hear me say "that's not my ministry" or some variation... I stole it from here, so just know I'm owning up to it now. Sorry.

Quietly Hostile continues Samantha Irby’s hilarious trajectory of life. Once again, no subject is off limits. This time, she addresses Covid, her love of Dave Matthews, work, just to name a few. Just like the author, I’m going to stay in bed and devour this book.

The first 2/3 of this book was extremely offensive and I will confess I resorted to speed reading some, including the “Sex in the City” rewrites. Once the author got to writing about herself and her family, I found the book more palatable.

I received a free copy of this book for my voluntary honest review. This is the first book I have read from this author and the last.

I'm still laughing! Samantha can do no wrong! How she doesn't have her own tv show is a travesty. This book did not disappoint. Samantha is the funniest and most real person I've ever had the opportunity to "read" about.

Other than what she tells you on every page of this book, Samantha Irby can do no wrong. She is so laugh-out-loud funny that even the (endless) poop commentary had me in stitches. And I HATE body humor.

But the incessant talk about her bowels is kind of the point. She suffers from IBS and that dictates EVERY decision she makes. No one else is talking about this, but 15% of adults have the illness. If you are one of them, this book will make you feel seen.

I also just really love a dark sense of humor and the essay about her mom's death was just *chef's kiss*. Her ER experience, too.

Other reasons to read this book: You're a Sex and the City superfan, you're an elder millennial, you want to see the ins and outs of writing a pilot episode, your friends are idiots but you love them anyway, you like laughing.

I only wish that I'd gotten an early audio version of this, too.

Thank you to NetGalley and Penguin Random House for sending me an early copy!

I was so excited to read Samantha Irby’s newest book but this one left me disappointed
Irby always gives stories/essays about her life in her books. This time it was the same but it had a different tone. I didn’t care for the nun story at all, but felt I needed to read it to make an honest review on the book. I just didn’t care for so much negativity towards herself either. The Sex and the City chapter ran on and on and on. I know the title is Quietly Hostile, but Hostile would be better.

Thank you to Vintage Anchor & NetGalley for allowing me to read and review this book in exchange for an honest review

Hilarious, especially the bits about Abe. I loveeee jokes about dogs who are not particularly good at being dogs, like mine. A few essays I skipped because of irrelevance but an otherwise good time.

Samantha Irby is the funniest person in the world, and that's that on that! This wasn't my favorite of her collections, but even her least favorite is still amazing for me. Her voice is so original and entertaining, I hope she writes a trillion books so I can read them all.

This a quick read that made me laugh quite a bit. It's a change from my typical fictional reads and I guess I needed a break. For anyone who enjoys satire and comedy that's a bit ... awkward? Enjoy!

This book is my intro to Samantha Irby. I found some of the essays hilarious, others
not so much. The Sex and the City chapter was too long and I lost interest.
#QuietlyHostile #NetGalley

4.25/5

I generally enjoy Samantha Irby’s dry take on the world around us, and if you’ve liked her other essays you’ll find this to be similar but written by someone older, tired and really who never wants to leave their house again, and honestly, I relate.

She does ramble on about Dave Mathew’s band and has a whole essay dedicated to how she would rewrite sex and the city, both of which I genuinely could not have been less interested in, hence the 4.25.

I enjoyed this book. I have read the author previously and like her style. She writes in a way that is very relatable. I found myself laughing in many parts.

I'm already a big fan of Samantha Irby and her work, but Quietly Hostile wasn't my favorite. I enjoyed it and found the content to be timely. I always appreciate her humor and commentary on things, I just found her previous books, Meaty and We Are Never Meeting in Real Life a little more enjoyable. It is still very much a worthwhile read, especially if you need a good laugh.

Another banger from Sam Irby! Her essay about being childfree and her love for her dog in particular had me rolling and feeling particularly seen. I also really need to make that kale soup she wrote about. You never know just what you’re going to get from Sam but it’s always going to be good!

Truly hilarious and one of Irby’s best book of essays. Only Samantha Irby can write constantly about bodily functions and keep me reading. The essay about how to get teens to like you had me in tears. Very well done!