Quietly Hostile is my second (or third?) book by Samantha Irby, and it brought the same joy as the first book I read, We are never meeting in real life. I think what I loved most about this book was the randomness of the essays all put together. It felt like I was thinking how she thought. One second, we were talking about Dave Matthews greatest love songs (and now I have a list of songs to look up), and the next moment, we were reflecting on the Sam Irby TV Show that never got to be. It. was an enjoyable mix.

My favorite essay was probably her take on impressing teenagers (Spoiler: you can’t) because it feels a lot like how I feel when I try to connect with my younger sister. Sam Irby sometimes drops a hard truth in between two funny lines and causes you to pause and think, at least for a second.

My least favorite was the one about how she would ruin the show Sex and the City. I passed most of it because I didn’t want any spoilers, but I’m excited to revisit in 2-8 years when I finally watch the series and I can understand all the references.

I also am not a huge fan of bathroom jokes, but I accepted them.

All in all, really enjoyed, and I need to catch up with the ones I miss.

4.5 rounded to 5

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for an ARC of this book.

I LOVE SAMANTHA IRBY. She makes me giggle inside and chuckle out loud, and I would dearly love to be her friend. Her essays are written with such finesse and ease that I never ever get that wooden "I. AM. READING. A. BOOK." feeling (don't you hate that feeling??) when reading any of her books, and this new gem is no exception!

I was already a fan of Samantha Irby's other writing—this new collection delivers exactly the kind of snarky, yet breathtakingly (often brutally) honest commentary on life I've come to expect. The only caveat I will give is that I had no idea Irby worked on the Sex and the City reboot, (which I haven't seen) so the pages devoted to her rewrite of the original seasons were funny and often spot-on indictments, but went far beyond my memory of the original series. So, perfect for a true fan, just not me. Her section on how to/not to deal with teenagers in the house is also spot-on, right down to the seltzer cans with one sip taken out of each of them scattered throughout the house. By the time she got to "Why you should invite me to your party", I thought Irby had some real momentum going, and I would have happily read more.

A couple not-necessarily-coherent thoughts on this book: very funny in places, although I suspect I would have enjoyed the reflections on pop culture more if I had ever seen a single episode of Sex & the City. VERY relatable in places, especially for millennials who are now suddenly reckoning with the mid-thirties failures of our previously invincible bodies. Also extremely gross in places; I am now deeply grateful that whatever other failings my body has, IBS isn't one of them. Weirdly frequent use of that specifically male-comic shtick about how much he sucks and how much his wife must hate him, which was peculiar and grating coming from a lesbian? Extremely internet lingo everywhere always all the time, which some may really enjoy and some may absolutely hate! Overall I enjoyed the collection although it wasn't really something I would seek out.

I received an ARC of this book from Netgalley, and surprisingly, this is the first time I’ve come across Samantha Irby’s work. Reviews said it would be hysterical and it was, for the most part, but at times it ventured into being too gross for me. I found I was embarrassed for her—I’ll call her Sam because that’s what she calls herself—for all of the gastrointestinal issues she’s had. I do not know how she could so freely write about these things, but I guess that’s why this is her book and not mine.

The reason this book did not earn 5 stars from me is because it devoted way too much time to Sex in the City and the jokes required an understanding of Sex in the City. Other than recognizing the names of a few people who were in it and having a general idea of the theme, I never watched it and never wanted to. Eventually, I skipped over that portion of the book because none of it made sense to me. However, I will say this much. Apparently, she worked on the reboot, and some woman sent her a message threatening to kill her if she brought back a male character she didn’t like, and Sam thought, “I would love to die, and I especially would love to die at the hands of this deranged woman over the choices a fictional character I did not invent makes on a show that is not real regarding a man who absolutely does not exist.”

Speaking of making sense, the part of the story where she describes the pilot TV show as she envisioned became a bit confusing at times, but when I got what she was trying to say, it was perfect. It wasn’t my favorite part of the book, but it was vastly better than the Sex in the City tribute. So here are some of my favorite parts, in other words, the parts that made me laugh out loud and want to share them with someone.

Most of her jokes are made at her own self, a deeply self-depracating humor, but she’s also happy to make fun of groups of people. When she talks about dancing with her wife Kirsten, she imagines that people are asking, “Is Sam using her wife as a human walker?” And even though she acknowledges that, of course, she is, she follows up by also recognizing that nobody wants to be their “partner’s sexy cane!” That’s her exclamation point there. I think she used way too many of them, for the record. Since this was an uncorrected ecopy, maybe that will be fixed in the final proof.

Later, she describes her morning ritual on the day of her birthday, which happens to be on Superbowl Sunday: “I start the day doing a yoga sun salute, then drink a liter of warm lemon water, thanking God for allowing me to see another sunrise. I follow that by feeding myself some avocado on sprouted grain bread with fermented sprouts; which is to say that I drink a Fresca in one long swallow and take a shower just so I might feel like I put some effort into being alive before settling into the couch for thirteen straight hours of pregame coverage.”

She describes why she wouldn’t want to have a child: “Do I wish I could stand idly by and witness all the things I hate about myself manifested in, and mirrored back to me by, a person it’s against the law for me to kill?” After a hipster nutritionist on Instagram admonishes, “YOU SHOULD DRINK THREE LITERS OF WATER EVERY DAY BEFORE NOON,” her first response is, “...who is out of bed before noon, let along chugging water?” Later, when talking about porn, she wonders, “Also who’s in charge of the internet?” and “When are we gonna get dot cum?”

Sam describes in horrifying and hilarious detail that time she went into anaphylactic shock and had to rush to the emergency room, her “breath sounding like a tin can full of glass shards rolling down a mountain made of ball bearings…” In a later story about a conversation with a wealthy employer, she describes herself as “a dumb sack of potatoes stuffed into an ill-fitting buffalo plaid flannel and scuffed Doc Martens, fiddling nervously with the constrictive velvet choker cinched around my neck as my boss counted hundred-dollar bills into my other palm” so she could buy some nail polish for the woman. “‘...I have a nail appointment at six,’ she snipped, shoving a homeless man into the oven for her dinner.”

Since I no longer have young children, my car is no longer a mess. I love Sam’s explanation of the differences between her and her wife when it comes to cars, and why it’s a good thing they don’t share one, saying, “I don’t believe that the most expensive thing I’ve ever owned should also double as a rolling reusable tote bag and spilled granola dispensary…” It was things like this that had me gasping in laughter and understanding. If you liked Sex in the City, or even had more than a passing familiarity with it, you’ll probably enjoy this book even more than I did.

Samantha Irby is so funny! Some of the essay were a bit too gross for me (I don't do well with bodily fluids :O) but they still entertained me. She can write about the QVC and make it interesting!

I like it. I’ve been a Samantha Irby fan for a while because she just gets me. Well figuratively that is because we’ve never met in person. She is funny in a way that meshes with my inner dialog and feels like she is typing out what my brain thinks about things even though we are very different people living very different lives.

While her last two books were an easy 5 stars for me this one didn’t quite hit that mark only because I never watched the Sex in the City reboot and a large section of this book I did not “get” because I was lacking context. I did really enjoy her story about traveling during the pandemic and being a step-parent. Sometimes when she writes situations I can play it out and laugh along. Always entertaining. I will keep reading Samantha Irby as long as she continues to write.

This is a book of essays by comedian and writer Samantha Irby. If you are not okay with potty humor and hearing about someone else's porn preferences, this might not be the book for you. If you like to laugh when life gives you a literal shit storm, you should pick up this book. I have a bowel disorder, so I absolutely related to the essay's dealing with this and aging. I did not relate so much to the essay detailing the changes the author would have made to Sex and the City (I've only seen a few episodes). Overall, I thought this was an entertaining collection of essays and laughed out loud more than once.

I've been trying to read this one for over two weeks. I have enjoyed some of the humor and chuckled at certain things, but mostly I'm left with questions. I had never heard of Irby before this book, so maybe she's just not my style. I gave it my all, but DNF'd at only 20%. If it's taken me two weeks to get to that point then it's not for me.

Samantha Irby does it again! This collection of essays is just as rawly honest, raunchy and raucous as ever. Her self-depreciating humor and cutting sarcasm sometimes have me laughing out loud and other times makes me want to cry. She has such a strong and fearless voice that I find inspiring.

Thanks to Vintage and NetGalley for the copy to review.

This was one of my most anticipated releases for the year and it did not disappoint! I love Samantha so much and relate so hard. So many of these essays made me laugh out loud, from the nuns to favorite Sex and the City episodes. I honestly didn't want it to end! She brings her usual wit and garbage person views (which I can say as a fellow garbage person). I did skip over the essay on her favorite Dave Matthews Band songs because I'm not a fan, but props to her. I would totally do the same with my fave band in my book. I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

This was an entertaining collection of essays! Some were more enjoyable than others; a few were so relatable and funny I couldn’t help but laugh out loud. The sections I thought were the most well-done were the lists. I would love to read an entire book of list essays written by Samantha Irby (this was my first book by this author – if her other books have a lot of list essays I may read them!).

There were a few parts where I was left feeling unsatisfied and a bit disconnected, like I was missing something. This feeling crept up most when Irby mentioned she was a stepmother, because for the majority of the first part of the book I thought she only lived with her wife and her dog. I understand that some essays may be written in different time periods but I am under the impression the children are still in the her wife’s from a previous relationship (hence her use of the term stepmom). In the grand scheme of things this is a very small detail, but I felt this created a disconnect between author and reader.

I feel as though this would be great on film, as a comedy routine, or in a podcast. I think the natural voice of the narrator is lost in writing, and a visual (facial expressions!) and/or vocal (pauses, little laughs – don’t try to tell me Irby wasn’t laughing while writing these essays!) component would be a more enjoyable and complete experience than words on a page.

All of that being said, I would still recommend this book! Though there were elements that didn’t hit the mark or were completely missing for me, I would recommend for a light, humorous read!

“Samantha Irby invites us to share in the gory particulars of her real life, all that festers behind the glitter and glam.”

Samantha Irby pulls zero punches.

This book is hilarious and honest and eye opening and sexy and DUCKING FISTGUSTING.

I am not exaggerating, when I say I laughed, I cried, I threw up in my mouth.

I’ve read all Irby’s books, at this point. I’ve always loved her tell-it-like-it-is-no-holds-barred approach to storytelling.

This one, however, might have been just a little too gross, even for me.

I can handle a lot of things.

I can handle stories about sex.
I can handle stories of questionable relationship choices.
I can handle stories about bodily secretions.

I CANNOT, I’m learning, handle ALL THREE AT THE SAME TIME.

I’ll be pack for the next installment of Irby’s bonkers life, but I’ll be a little more careful about not eating and reading at the same time.

7/10

Thanks to NetGalley and Vintage Anchor for this ARC.

Samantha Irby is at it again with Quietly Hostile! If you've read her other books, you're well aware of what I mean. Her humor and candor show up and out in this book, per usual.

As a recovering people-pleaser, I was intrigued by the idea of being "quietly hostile." There are instances in my life where I feel I could be the same way. Unapologetic about food and drink choices from Starbucks? Relentless in expressing an undying love for an obscure band no one dares to admit they listen to publicly? I totally get it. Too bad I hold my choice words inside and think of the best things to say once I'm away from said scenarios and my overthinking mind is bullying me for not being more vocal. But, I digress.

All in all, Quietly Hostile is an enjoyable, easy read when you have a taste for something light and humorous. I nodded my head in agreement when she mentioned fake smiling during Zoom meetings (because I always
seem to need a nap afterwards), and I felt seen each time she noted adult things we should be doing that I have a hard time completing. Some essays were laugh-out-loud funny to me, while others made me cringe a bit. I do realize some essays just may not have been for me, or I may not have been in the mood for them. And that's fine.

Fans of Samantha Irby will enjoy this read and those new to her will appreciate her comical style of writing, for sure. I will admit, however, this: I've been randomly yelling, "What is my ****ing damage, Heather?" to myself during moments of irritation, frustration, slip-ups, and absent-mindedness since reading this. Do with that information what you will.

Special thank you to Netgalley and Vintage Anchor for the eARC!

⭐⭐⭐🌠

Look, no one is as funny as Sam Irby. As soon as you understand that, you'll be less disappointed with everyone else. This book is silly, sharp, smart and gross. If I'm being honest, I don't even like funny, especially in books, but Irby transcends funny, because she taps into these dry observations that're just like, true. Yes there are jokes, but QUIETLY HOSTILE is more about taking stock of the absurdities of the world around her. I think Sam Irby is one of our most astute critics of the mundanity of life. It works. I even liked this one better than WOW, NO THANK YOU. So wether you love Sex and the City, or lesbian nun porn, or anaphylaxis, or QVC, or not talking to teenagers, or whatever, this book has something for you!
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I read it on audio, and Irby's narration is superb. Her delivery is 10/10.

We do not deserve Samantha Irby, and I am eternally grateful for her creative, hilarious, intelligent work. I would read and re-read her work forever, and I will.

Thank you to NetGalley and to the publisher for this ARC in exchange for an honest review.

I love Samantha Irby's books and was excite that netgalley.com provided me with a copy of the ebook to read. I really enjoy hearing her voice though, so I did wait until I was able to get the audiobook from my library to finally jump into the essays. The chapter about her re-imagining of classic "Sex and the City" episodes was fantastic. There was a good mix of humorous tales of pandemic/lockdown life and being married mixed with more poignant stories about life with chronic illness and saying goodbye to her mom.

Samantha Irby is at the height of her writing powers.

I don't think I've ever truly LOL'd while reading a book, laughing so genuinely hard and from my gut that my mother, in the next room, asked about what the hell I was doing that was generating such a reaction from me. In this collection, Irby does what she does best but everything is dialed up several degrees. All the punchlines and jokes are punched (no pun intended?) upwards to make for a satisfying, lacerating, and deeply personal read. I truly don't think that Irby will ever run out of material for her own writing as she continues to unflinchingly mine her own personal life -- the most disgusting, hilarious, unsexy, unfun anecdotes -- and turning them into peak comedy.

Two of my personal favorite essays is the urine-soaked "body horror!" and the gut-punchingly tender "o brother, where art thou" which discusses Irby's rekindling of her relationship with her brother, an essay that was a welcome reprieve from the comedy hit after hit that Irby presented with this book.

Thank you endlessly to Netgalley, Vintage, and Irby for the privilege of getting to review this book!

There are some laugh out loud moments, especially about toilet paper and toilet seats. Also, some cringe worthy essas. Fans of Sex and the City will like the commentary on episodes. A fairly good collection.

Copy provided by the publisher and NetGalley

Like most people who have spent anytime looking at lists of acclaimed essay collections online, I knew about Samantha Irby's work but had never read one of her books. So, of course, I just had to see what the hype was about by requesting this ARC. Within the first few essays I was sure that I'd need to go back and grab at least her other two essay collections with the similar cover aesthetic. I enjoy Irby's particular brand of self-deprecating but owning it humor. A few lines made me quite literally snort or laugh out loud. There were a few essays that felt a tad long for my taste, but that is the only "complaint" I have.