4,5

I can only say this book resonated with me. I really felt some words, some situations and I just saw a younger version of myself trying to find a place in the world. It's not perfect, the first 40% was a bit dragging, but the last part was perfect for me. Seeing on paper those feelings was hard and beautiful at the same time.

When I started this book I was sure I was going to read of an author somehow entering her own book, fighting battles, making friends along the way and just go back to her world once she completed her quest.

What I didn't expect was this. This book is for everyone struggling, with themselves and with their lives, those who think they are not enough and there's only a way to get peace. It's a journey, and us readers go on it with all the characters, living the adventure and the dreams.

There's always a solution, but it's ok to struggle and get lost along the way, but there'll always be people there with you and this book was so complex on this side that I still have goosebumps thinking about the hard choices the main character had to make.

We often have to fight our own demons and the author of this book tried to explain it in an almost lyrical way.

For when we don't feel like we are enough: "It's a battle worth fighting". Always.

I was intrigued by this book, both curious and scared. Turns out, it was great! 1. it has dragons which I love. 2. it has a queer main character who's asexual and it's so rare to find this kind of representation. 3. the found family trope was amazing. I also liked how Kyla explored her own demons and struggles through her characters. really recommend to anyone looking for a fun fantasy novel with dragons! my only criticism would be that the villain felt very...villainous? I like some nuance but this was a little too black and white for me. 4.25 stars

The author wrote this deeply personal story of struggling with mental health issues and comes with a list of trigger warnings at the beginning and an "about the author" at the end explaining that the reader finishing the book now knows her challenges. For those who find writing cathartic or have wished for a different, fantastical life, this book juxtaposes the main character's life as a writer in NYC, whose novel characters are based on her imaginings of friends/family and even a fictional love interest, with the hero of her story.

What if you knew what would happen to your book characters and were thrust into the middle of their story? How could you return home? Would you even want to leave a place with magic to return to the struggles of your life elsewhere? That's what this book asks. As a reader who hasn't faced suicidal ideation, depression, or other challenges, I felt very empathetic toward the main character/author who did.

Authors experiences show through in their work. None more so than in this excellent piece of fantasy writing, that is so much more than just that. Although I personally didn’t need it, take the author’s trigger warning to heart. And on that note I think this fantasy book is definitely not for very young readers. This book is a story of an unpublished author, really struggling with mental issues and finding themselves transported into the fictional world they had created. Can they save the only people they seem to feel connected with, their fictional characters, their ‘darlings’ in the title, after they had decided to really mix up their series and kill them off? Can they save themself? I hope writing and publishing the book has ultimately been a positive experience for the author. Even though some parts are dark I enjoyed reading the book. Thank you to L.E. Harper, Shivnath Productions and NetGalley for the ARC. The views expressed are all mine, freely given.

I tried to read this book, but only got about 30% of the way through before I abandoned it. Although the idea behind the plot was interesting, it just wasn't what I was looking for. I didn't like the female protagonist and I didn't like how the story developed from the beginning.

I'm really sorry, but I don't think this play is well done. It's a bit awkward for me to say this as the author mentions in the notes that it's basically his autobiography and deals with depression/suicide issues.

To be honest from the beginning, I dreaded writing this negative review. It is always an abysmal feeling to know that the work is deeply personal to the author, and even more so when it is clearly intended as a guide for people with mental health, creativity and, in this case, internalised as/aphobia issues.

2.75 ⭐️

There were a lot of aspects to this novel that I enjoyed and thought were interesting. Several of the characters really captured my heart and made me smile.

I liked that our main character learned and grew over the course of the book. Though she was meant to be unlikable, it made it a lot harder for me to truly root for her. As someone who does struggle with extreme depression and anxiety, I understand to a certain degree her mindset. I just wish we got to see her having moments of clarity in more than just the last third of the book.

I would not recommend this book if you are currently in a bad mental headspace because there are some pretty triggering scenes depicting suicide. However, I think a lot of people will enjoy the concept and execution of that concept in this book.

*Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for an arc in exchange for an honest review*

DNF at 16 %

The premise is interesting, and I think if I was a teenager I would have liked this more. Unfortunately I am not, and I'm just not that taken by the story. I am vaguely interested in how the story will unfold though, so maybe I will give this another go one day in the future! I liked the main character's internal monologue about editorial choices, they were fun.

Just need to put out there that the national suicide hotline number is now 988, talk or text
There is also thetrevorproject.org as an online source of help.

That being said I would like to thank Net Gallery for the advanced copy of this book. It started out like an Isekai adventure, something like "lost in my own world without my psych meds" and then got progressively darker as can happen when negativity takes over. There is adventuring, magic and dragons in the meantime,

https://th.bing.com/th?id=OIP.Epr_kBSXkbNOOWMOvwUxPwAAAA&w=241&h=167&c=8&rs=1&qlt=90&o=6&pid=3.1&rm=2

This book pleasantly surprised me. I was hooked from the first chapter and definitely enjoyed it more than I thought I would. It's the type of book you can't put down until you finish it.

Have you ever wanted to be transported into your favorite fantasy world? That is precisely what happens in Kill Your Darlings. Fantasy author Kyla ends up in the very world she created and has to work with her “darlings” to find a way home and a way to save their wolf from destruction.

This book had me invested from the beginning. I loved the writing style and the exploration of mental health and feelings of inadequacy. Kyla’s feelings of not fitting into society in so many ways is something many can relate to. As the book progresses you uncover more of her layers though her mental health struggles are a major part of the story from the beginning. The interspersing of her backstory with her adventures was done so well and felt so natural. The way Kyla was connected to the world also made for an interesting discussion of dreams.

My only critique is a friend and I both predicted a twist very early, though this did not take away from my enjoyment of the book or the emotions I felt during the reveal.

I really do recommend this book to any interested and it has been one of my favorite reads of the year so far!

‘Kill Your Darlings’ by L.E. Harper was magical, moving, devastating, brave, and beautiful. It was an intense read, and I highly recommend it, just be sure to check trigger warnings.

Kill Your Darlings is an emotional road trip, so prepare to strap in and brace yourself for the ride.

Spoilers ahoy!

As the book begins, we are immediately thrust into the world of Solera, created by our main character and beloved author 'Kyla'. Kyla is inhabiting the body of her main character, Kyla Starblade, in what she assumes is just another lucid dream, but as things progress, it becomes clear to our author that this is no mere dream...or is it? Tasked with saving her 'darlings' from the miserable ending she's crafted for them, Kyla and her band of merry men set off on a quest to save the world she's created and cherishes so dearly, as well as her very soul.

Harper weaves an intricate and moving story, one that brought me to tears more often than not. She does an amazing job portraying depression and mental illness, and just how hard it can be to pick yourself up when you've fallen to your lowest. As someone who has had a fierce battle with depression myself, I was moved by Kyla's story, both her triumphs and defeats. I found something relatable in Kyla's bitter anger, and in her self-loathing. The way in which Kyla must repeatedly face her defeatist nature is one of the strongest points of KYD, showing that depression is not something you can overcome so easily, but is a battle that you fight every day—because your life is worth fighting for.

I was also immediately drawn to Kyla's 'darlings', forming attachments to them quicker than I typically do with other novel characters. I was especially enchanted by Cendrion and his relationship to Kyla. The kindness he shows her despite her revelation as an imposter is moving, and quickly carved out a space in my heart for him. Their friendship quickly became the most important relationship in the book to me, the small moments where Cendrion laughed at Kyla's dark humor creating lighter moments during heavier, emotionally taxing scenes. I also grew very fond of Valen and Kyla's dynamic, rooting for their happiness quicker than I expected to. Valen's quieter, softer nature is a good buffer against our main character's loud, harsh exterior. They complement each other well.

That being said, I do have a few qualms with this novel. Harper has a habit of telling instead of showing, and I think there is a lot to be gained from us seeing Kyla's growing relationships with her darlings rather than her telling us about them explicitly. I also found myself very confused as the story started winding down, and had to go back a few chapters to reconfirm some details for myself. It wasn't clear to me at first that Kyla's books being published and the rewrites requested from her 'editor' were fictious, a delusion conjured up by her dying mind. The matter of Kyla, or our 'little author's' real name, was also unclear to me. In the blurb, our MC is referred to as Kyla, so I assume Kyla Starblade is simply a bit of a self-insert. However, our MC repeatedly reminds her ragtag group of adventurers that Kyla is in fact, not her name. These details become convoluted and ruin my suspension of disbelief, taking me out of the story and halting my reading process. I'm also not at all a fan of the 'and everything was just a dream' trope, I find it lazy and uninspired. So, with it not being entirely clear whether her entire adventure was a hallucination conjured by her suicidal psyche, or a real journey to save her friends and her life, I found myself dissatisfied. I'm usually a champion for open endings, but this one left much to be desired.

These criticisms are more nitpicky, and come down to my personal preference. When the topic of Kyla's asexuality is brought up, I think it is handled very well during her conversations with Valen. I sympathize with Kyla, and I can feel for her struggle as an asexual woman living in today's society on earth. However, when she begins conflating her struggle as an asexual woman with homophobia and Asher's relationship to his significant other, it falls flat. It once again, ruined my suspension of disbelief, and to me it felt dismissive of the struggles of members of the LGBT community. Especially because in the end it is still unclear whether Solera is real or not, so the absence of homophobia in Solera isn't even necessarily relevant. Also, reading the words 'asexual trash gremlin' made me physically cringe and set my phone down for a full five minutes or so.

With all of this taken into consideration, I'd have to rate this work about a 3.5/5. The concept is unique and intriguing, but the execution lacks finesse. Make no mistake, though—this is a good book. In fact, this is a great book. But I think it has the potential to be that much better.

I received an ARC from NetGalley in exchange for my honest and unbiased opinion, and I'm grateful to have been given the opportunity to preview this work.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ / 4 stars
Thank you to the publisher for providing me with an eARC of this book via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review!

Kill Your Darlings is a story, in which the author gets trapped in the body of her main character and needs to find a way home.

“Stories exist for a reason. They teach us things about ourselves.”

I must say, when I first read the synopsis of this book, I’d have never thought that this book would be as heavy as it is. So, I’ll start off with some trigger warnings for those who can be triggered and so you know what to expect when reading this book; depression, mental illness, grief, death, suicide, self-harm and panic attacks. I applaud the author for starting the book with a foreword where the reader is warned about the dark content this book will have, just so you can be prepared. I have read books before that don’t have these forewords or warnings and I really believe it is necessary for them to be included.

I was super intrigued by the way this book was written! It was very easy to somehow place myself in the situation the main character was in, due to how this book was written. It is from a first point-of-view, but we don’t actually learn the authors name throughout the book. So, it really felt like I, as a reader, was transported into another body and living this experience. That made the story very engaging and it felt unique.

The plot itself didn’t really seem much at the beginning. It felt a little simple to be honest, with the author trying to change the ending she had written on Earth. It does have a lot of events/battles happening so you do really get a sense of adventure, but sometimes the amount of action was a little hard to navigate. Towards the end though, the reasoning for why everything is happening becomes apparent and I must say it was a really clever comparison.
I know when having a mental illness, it will be something you’ll struggle with for the rest of your life. You fight the battles day by day, you have good days and bad days, but in the end, it will always remain a war. I really loved that comparison and how that translated on the pages in the end.

The characters were very diverse. I liked Asher and Cendrion the most of all. The author, was a difficult character I believe. I didn’t necessarily like her or could I connect to her. This was mainly due to her mental state throughout the book and it was very heavy and dark. She was very unkind to herself, so while that made her harder to like, it did make me want her to fight it. I wanted a happy ending for her!

Overall, Kill Your Darlings was a powerful story about hope in the end. Knowing that the author went through that all, but still wrote this book, I find that extremely courageous and I believe this is a book that can help others that struggle.

NetGalley ARC Educator 550974

For many, writing or reading books help them escape reality. Being pulled into a story and meeting the characters themselves, we wish. Yet this happens and all that follows will blow your mind. Trigger warning, depression and mental illness. I enjoyed this book and hope others will too.

Unfortunately this was a DNF early on for me. I simply couldn't connect with the story & the style of writing.
Firstly, I feel like the story starts at the wrong point. We are thrown straight into the author being stuck in her own fictional world and for me it didn't work. I feel like a build-up in the 'real-world' beforehand would have led the reader into the fantasy world better. The explanation of 'lucid dreaming' seemed tenuous and hard to believe. In addition, without any background given of the lucid dreaming process, it's difficult to understand. Again, this seems to be the issue, in my opinion, of the story starting in the wrong point.
There also seemed to be a lot of telling rather than showing early on and I just couldn't immerse myself into the story. I found the writing rather simplistic and at times cheesy.
I should point out I hadn't got that far into the book for these issues to grate me so I simply knew it wasn't going to work for me.

I just love this cover. Everything about it seduced me into wanting to read it.

“Kill your darlings. That’s a saying we have in the publishing industry. In terms of writing, it means you must let go of attachments. For me, it holds a different meaning.” (Loc. 161)

Take a deep breath because Kill Your Darlings is a dark fantasy that won’t let you go even after the last page has been turned.

It can be difficult to review a book when an author states that the story reflects their life. Then when you read it you see it reflecting your own, it can get uncomfortable (chuckle). Please be sure to read the content warnings before delving into this story.

The premise is kind of freaky when you think about it. Imagine waking up in a world you created and losing the world you came from and everything you knew about reality. But this new world isn’t all rose gardens, oh no it’s all about death and war. You have exchanged one hell for another and this is where L.E. Harper takes us.

I kind of wish there had been a prequel of just the story that the Author fell into so that we could get to know her crew just as well as she does. I think I would have felt the bond more and the sense of betrayal they must have felt by suddenly having an imposter in the midst at an important part of the battle.

Harper writes some great battle scenes. There is plenty of action in between the mind-spinning moments of where the hell am I. I figured out right away what was going on with the Author in New York while she was in Solera so I wasn’t surprised by the ending.

Now this is where my own personal experience interferes with the ending. Harper writes us a happy ending for Author, but I have been in that dark place and I don’t know whether I would have come back from Solera. At least not for the reasons Author came back.

This doesn’t mean that Kill Your Darlings doesn’t hit its mark - it does. The action is good. I love the diverse cast. I would have loved a prequel to get to know them more, I liked them that much. Darlings is worth the read, but make sure you’re ready for the darkness. Huge hugs.

Kill Your Darlings by L.E. Harper is a meta-fantasy story that is steeped in mental health battles. This emotional novel is potent in its pain, but it's more than that. While it displays the battles of depression in a fantasy backdrop setting, it does carry a message of hope and strength.
This novel was amazing. It's been a while since a novel truly made me weep. I've shed a few tears during other books, yes, but this one truly made me cry. Not in a bad sort of way. The message, the thoughts, and the feelings all resonated strongly with me. It was a story that I hadn't realized that I needed until I read it.
With it covering topics such as depression and self-harm (and more), the trigger warning in the book was greatly appreciated as it allowed me to go into the book with informed consent and be prepared for the various triggers. The book, in my honest opinion, didn't pull any punches when it comes to showing the reality of depression. It didn't glamorize it, which was appreciated.
I loved the diversity of the characters and the asexual representation. Such representation is necessary for people who are asexual, as it helps show them that they are not alone or invisible, that they aren't the "wrong kind" of sexuality - which would help save people from internalized hatred of themselves.
The book itself is set in a fantasy world in which the narrator wrote (or did she? That is the question.) that is slapped in the final act of the series, so we, as the readers, are a bit disoriented and disconnected about the world. I loved how this was set up since it really fits into the story structure and the great unknown of what is going on with the narrator.
L.E. Harper has truly crafted a wonderful novel and I look forward to reading more of her work.

So... this one will be a tough one to review, but given ARCs, I do owe it to be honest, so let's go.

I'll start by saying that the writing--the actual prose--was so very good. Polished, emotive, and generally just incredibly well done. I'd like to read more by this author one day, and it's a name I'll be keeping an eye on (and think you should too.) Ultimately, I think this book boils down to the single thought of: It's really not for me, and I'm going to explain why. As someone who works around books a lot--previously in actual publishing--this book was far too meta for me. Way, way too much. Almost all the time, I felt I was constantly reminded of this (which, to be fair, was entirely the point of the work.) It was almost three hundred pages of the author's "venting" (for lack of a better word) about the publishing industry...which you know what? I completely understand. And while I went into the novel expecting a certain amount of this--the synopsis promises this after all--I found it wearing and grating on me.

I think there are writers who will absolutely get a kick out of this.

And there are writers (and publishing people) who might find it tiring and overdone.

Furthermore, I'm not sure what appeal that concept will have to the general reader, but I might be proven wrong, and it might be a hit.

But like I said, not for me.

3.75 stars

An personal look at mental health and craft, and the ways they intertwine.

I found Kill Your Darlings a quick read, and as I writer myself, I was drawn to the premise. Our worlds are, in so many cases, our escape, and the idea of being drawn into them and personally responsible for them on more than just the page is compelling. The MC's voice is compelling, and she takes a genuine journey of growth. The emotional notes of the novel hit.

Where I struggled was with the fantasy aspects of the story. While the cliche elements may have been purposeful so as not to distract from the core inner journey, I found myself struggling to believe it was a world that had inspired a NYT bestseller and while I felt the love the MC had for her world, I wished the world had felt more like something I would enjoy as an actual novel. Despite this, the book is well worth a read (provided you mind the TWs) for its unflinching portrayal of depression and the necessary way I know it will make many feel seen.

This book was so self aware and introspective! I loved the fantasy elements as well as the commentary about authors and their work.