I had to sit with this book for a minute. I'm not even entirely sure how to review it. It took me a while to get into it, over the course of quite a few days, but once it picked up, it hooked me. Mental health and the struggles that come with it are never easy to write. Being able to weave them into a story and not make it feel preachy or too heavy? That's a whole other beast. L. E. Harper does that perfectly though. There were moments thathad me tearing up, moments I could feel so presently in me, and moments that had me laughing. I think this book will stay with me for a long time, especially the story of maybe not winning the war but winning the day.

Writing: 3.5/5
Plot: 3.5/5 (+1 for sheer uniqueness)
Characters: 3.5/5

This is probably one of the most unique books I have read, in terms of how the genre feels like a mix of both fantasy and contemporary fiction.

Starting with aspects I liked: I liked the way L.E. Harper writes first-person voice. I think she does a very good job of revealing the necessary amount of information that the protagonist would logically know, and I also think Kyla has a distinctive voice throughout this book, making it almost impossible for me to imagine this book to be written from any other perspective. Additionally, this book discusses depression in great detail. Kyla wavers between hopelessness and determination (along with going through other thought processes that are complex and shed light on her character), but she is never just an archetype of a depressed and anxious person. While there are areas that do feel like a little bit of an oversimplification when discussing issues like trauma/depression/self-harm/anxiety attacks, I think it ultimately does a good enough job (and touching in certain parts) in portraying these complexities while following the story of her finding herself in a fantasy world. I think the concept behind the story is so unique and done well enough that it makes the story intriguing to read through from start to finish. Also, the asexuality representation was done pretty well (in my opinion), in terms of being integrated within the story while also with enough time devoted to her fears and anxieties around her sexuality.

Aspects I didn't enjoy as much: I find the fantasy part of the story and the actual descriptions of the battles and magical powers muddled and frankly confusing in some areas. I think they were written to serve as a purpose to move along Kyla's character growth and reflections about her life, and it's clear that they did that. But in terms of how the magical powers worked or why the team of protagonists take certain actions in battles which then leads to other incidents, I think there can be better explanations provided. I also think some of the other protagonists in the fantasy world are underdeveloped, and they feel more like archetypes than real people, which I guess is partly the point. My main confusion with this, though, is that there are two characters (without spoiling) who clearly reflect people from her real world. I started becoming curious about those people from her real world, but the characters felt a bit one-dimensional, which made it difficult to better understand the relationship between those people and Kyla.

Overall, the criticisms are kind of minor because I get that the main purpose of this book wasn't the actual fantasy story, so I'd still give it a 3.5/5 (rounded up to a 4/5 for just how unique this book was).

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for giving me an arc!

“That was the problem: her soul was tired.
A body can sleep. A brain can recharge. But a tired soul… there is no easy cure for that.”

I… honestly don’t entirely know how I feel about this book. This is, at its heart, a very character driven story and that’s definitely where the writing shines. There were a few moments that made me laugh, but overall I didn’t feel a whole lot until the last third or so, but dang did the ending make me cry. Plot-wise things weren’t really a hit for me – there was a lot of plot-convenient happenings, a lot of the pacing felt pretty off (including the friendships and the romantic side plot), and while I really did enjoy the descriptions of Solera the story itself was really too short of me to personally connect much to the world or the MCs characters. But at the same time – that wasn’t really its focus, in the end. In the end, this is a story of life. It’s a poignant reminder of just how hard just getting through the day can be when your own mind is the one you’re battling against, that not every battle is a bold, fantastical war between good and evil. As someone who struggles a lot with depression (I’m also asexual, so yay for ace rep!), there were a lot of parts of the book that did resonate with me, a lot of thoughts that the MC had that closely mirrored the same intrusive thoughts that I struggle with on a daily basis.

POSSIBLE SPOILERS AHEAD! I’ll try to keep things as vague as possible, but you may be able to guess hints about the ending/conflict

I’m very conflicted about the ending, most of all. As mentioned, I struggle a lot with both depression and anxiety, so the honest portrayal of how it can be to battle with it was very refreshing to see, albeit also hard. But I also wish that the whole depression struggle and metaphors had stayed a little more… metaphorical. I loved Solera, and would have HAPPILY read a whole, much longer novel about this world. I felt like we got so many wonderful descriptions of that world and it's loveable characters, but (especially with the MCs early memory loss) we didn’t get a whole lot of reasons to want to go back to Earth and leave that all behind.

E-ARC given by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review..

DNF'd at 40%. I tried to get into this book, I really did. The writing was spectacular and Harper is evidently a master at her craft; however, the book struggled with pacing. It was too fast which made it hard for me to emphasize with the FMC. It's clear that the FMC does not look kindly upon her time in the real world, however, certain references to her past fall flat as the reader is never exposed to life in the Before. We only ever see the After. Certain choices made also felt juvenile, as we weren't exposed to some of the FMC's motivations, and were left wondering "Why? Why did you do that?" The odd tension between the FMC and Kyla's lover felt misplaced and distasteful, and personally made me uncomfortable knowing that she was hoping for a romantic ending with him. If this book had been longer with more description, I would've been able to finish. The length definitely contributed to how rushed everything was, including why the fantasy characters of the realm were able to accept her so quickly and that conflict being null within a few pages.

E-ARC given by Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

Kill Your Darlings is a unique take on the isekai subgenre. Our protagonist, an author, finds herself suddenly thrust into another world. But this is a world she is deeply familiar with and knows inside out because she’s written it.

The world L.E. Harper has created is rich and well crafted and the way they use this world and story to explore depression is clever and done with care. The author manages to balance the story with lighthearted and adventurous moments even as the reader delves deeper into challenging emotional territory.

All in all a really lovely, fun and hopeful read filled with adventure, meta, and of course dragons.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

Dnf at 30 something percent. I tried to get into this and the idea behind it was interesting but it just wasn't for me. I didn't like the fmc. I didn't like how the story started and just immediately got I to this. For my fantasy books especially, I prefer a build up and to see the wolrd being built. This just fell flat for me but I gave it a try.

The k you to netgalley and the publisher for a chance to read this inexchange for an honest review.

What a phenomenal book to start 2023 with. I was blown away by the world building and the character growth. I absolutely love the idea of an author being a part of the fantastical world she created.

From the trigger warning and being a mental health professional, I was able to figure out pretty early on what the plot twist was, but it was still perfectly executed. If you’re sensitive to the trigger warnings, please prepare yourself for end chapters to be tough, particularly chapter 29.

100% will be recommending this book to others.

Thank you Shivnath productions and NetGalley for providing me an e-arc in exchange for an honest review. My review is my own and not influenced by others.

The cover, description and author were the reasons why I wanted to read this book but I couldn't get through it and had to DNF it.
Seeing other readers reviews it can be an It's me, not you kind of book so I suggest you pick it up and see for yourself if this is your kind of book.

I enjoyed the unique take on a fantasy story this book provided. As soon as I read the blurb, I knew I was going to love it. Growing up, some of my favourite movies were The Neverending Story and The Pagemaster - of course I was going to gel with a story about an author who wakes up in her own fantasy story.

I liked the found-family feel of the little inner circle. I loved the dragons (who wouldn't?).

The writing was great. Bad writing puts me off a book within the first couple of pages, but with this book, I knew I was going to enjoy reading it by page two. Beautiful descriptive sentences. Perfectly sized sentences and paragraphs. Not too heavy on dialogue.

What I loved most about this book, however, was the slow journey to self-acceptance and self-love we got to see through the author. Seeing her go from self-loathing, confident that she was a piece of shit with nothing to offer anyone and nothing to live for, to fighting for her life and the life of the characters she has so lovingly created, was beautiful to read. Most books fumble the bag when trying to deal with heavy issues like this, but not this book. It was so well done that it took me a little bit after I finished the book to realise that I really enjoyed that about it. It was something I was even fully aware was happening throughout most of the book.

The only thing I will say that felt a little messy and chaotic was the story itself. The author falls into her world during book five, I think, and it felt like that. I would have felt more grounded with the story and the characters if things had been given time to flesh themselves out. There was no true backstory to the villain. No real explanation as to why the war started, how it started, how the friends found one and other etc. The author was in the know, but we weren't. I know the main focus of the story was on the author's realisation that her life had worth, but the story itself felt somewhat lacking at times. Like it was missing something just out of grasp.

An excellent book however, and I will definitely pick up more from this author.

Thank you, Shivnath Productions, Independent Book Publishers Association (IBPA), Members' Titles, for allowing me to read Kill Your Darlings early.

The cover was what led me to request this title, but sadly I didn't end up enjoying reading this.

Kill Your Darlings is a moving, riveting novel about depression and hope that will make your heart soar on the wings of the main character's beloved dragon friend.

A struggling author wakes up in the body of Kyla, the main character from her fantasy series, with no recollection of what happened in her real life to drive her there. Was she dreaming? Hallucinating? Had she some how tapped into another dimension where the characters she thought she created are as real as she is?

The author - whose real name is never revealed - must deal with the truth of the devastating plot she wrote for her characters while struggling with the pitfalls of her real life and their terrifying consequences.

Kill Your Darlings is the first fantasy novel I've read where the protagonist is so raw and real that you feel like you're reading someone's personal memoire. I'm not talking about the struggles in the fantasy realm where she's fighting a Big Bad or attempting to keep her friends alive. I mean the struggles of the human being <i>behind</i> the fantasy world who's convinced herself she's not worthy of love or affection.

Mental illness is often touched on in novels but not to this extent. L.E. Harper truly put her heart on the line in describing exactly how depression rewires your brain to the point that you can only see one way out of the darkness. It's a very meta situation where you know you're reading about a real person's struggles to differentiate between reality and fiction while you yourself are unsure of what's real and what's not yourself. Bravo to Harper for weaving such a believable tale! There was no way to untangle all of the plot twists to see the forest for the trees until Harper was ready for you to see them.

First off, please consult the content warnings for this book, especially its blunt depictions of depression and self-harm. This can be a challenging book to read if you are grappling with mental health issues, even if you are not in an acute phase of mental pain.

That said, this was a fascinating look at both writing fantasy novels and how a writer might explore mental health issues through writing. The nameless author/narrator finds herself in the fantasy world she created, taking the place of her heroine, and she must find a way to save her "darlings" (her beloved characters) before the Shadow Lord destroys them and her world. The trouble is, she doesn't have her character's magic, and once she works around what she's already written, she has to learn how to depend on her friends and find a new path forward.

While the fantasy plot, given its Western European-inspired fantasy slant, is something I don't read much any more, the twist of having the author caught in a world of her own making and forced to learn about her characters from their perspective gave the book a wonderful intricacy that I enjoyed reading. The parallels between the act of writing and the attempt to understand the self become clearer throughout the story, and the depictions of depression and its seductive falsehoods were utterly compelling and heartbreaking.

The nameless author of the story talks often about being on the Hero's Journey (h/t Joseph Campbell), but I would suggest that her character arc also could be described as the Heroine's Journey, given how much of it is interior to her character and involves her struggling not only with her mental health but also with her role as a woman and how her asexuality (and her inability to fully accept that part of herself) clashes with societal expectations. All of those things make her journey all the more fraught with danger and despair, and that makes the ending all the more satisfying.

My major complaint about this book -- and it's really more of a complaint about our society as a whole -- is the equation of depression with darkness and of evil with darkness. I know I'm guilty of using the same sort of language because it's so ingrained in English to make the association of "darkness" and "things we can't see and understand" to "bad or evil" and something to fight. It's a really slippery slope from there to applying that analogy to people, though, and that is of course deeply problematic. I'd really love to read a story that finds different analogies/descriptions for depression so that we can find healthier ways of engaging with mental health -- not making it a battle or a war or a fight, but maybe making it a partnership or an imbalance or SOMETHING other than overwhelming darkness. It worked in this book, but it also... frustrated me. </soapbox>

Solid 4 stars.

Thank you, Shivnath Productions and NetGalley, for providing an eARC of this book. Opinions expressed here are solely my own.

kyla, an author who longs to escape the world, finds herself trapped in her own fantasy world. she meets the characters she wrote about and goes on an adventure while figuring out why she got there in the first place.

the concept of this was incredibly interesting. kyla herself is also very relatable, especially when she talked about her depression. it was cool to see how kyla figured out the reason she was there and confront her feelings.

however, i wanted a bit more! there wasn’t really any world building, and i would’ve liked to know more about the world she wrote and got trapped in! i would’ve also liked more background on the side characters because they all seemed sweet!

i still really liked this!!

thank you to netgalley and the publisher for giving me an e-arc in exchange for an honest review!

Kill your darlings was a 5 star read for me. Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for an advanced copy of this book.
This book does come with contents warnings that some readers could find triggering myself included so I did appreciate the Author letter at the start of the book that explained them . The book description sounded intriguing an author ending up in the world of her own fantasy novel so I decided to try reading this novel despite knowing I could find it triggering (I could always stop reading it if I needed to because of my ptsd and anxiety) but honestly I am so glad I did read this because I enjoyed this book a lot. On one level it’s a really fun fantasy story I found the world building ,magic system and characters all really interesting plus the book has dragons and a map and I love a fantasy book with both lol and on the other side this book made me feel and reminded me to be kinder to myself keep fighting and not to get lost in the dark. I would definitely like to read this again and will be picking up a copy of this book once it is published.

[Blurb @goodreads]
Fantasy author Kyla knows dreams don't come true. Isolated and grappling with debilitating depression, she copes by writing about the realm of Solera. Fearless heroes, feisty shapeshifters, and mighty dragons come alive on her pages. She adores her characters, but she doesn’t believe in happy endings. And if she can’t have one, why should they?

🤯 My reaction for the most part of the book. In less than 400 pages, I was catapulted into a world that some readers can dream of. For one, my fantasy heart and imagination has been on constant overdrive because the plot was so full of energy and descriptives. And oh, it's a fantasy book from beginning to end - you want Magic? War? Character conflicts? Fantasy creatures bonanza? This book has it all.

It's not everyday that you read an embedded narrative / story within a story - basically, FMC is a fantasy author who woke up one day assuming the life of the main character of the book she was writing 🫠 But get this, it's not the only twist. The author intricately designed the character and the story to portray taboo society topics like depression. And i don't mean the sad sad depression - the darkness that seeps behind this illness and what it does to a human psyche and environment.

If that doesn't convince you to read this book, fantasy x science fiction also coalesced all throughout. It's simply a super cool concept. Knocking off half a star because I really wanted to know what happened to the soul of the fiction FMC when the switch happened but oh well, still extremely satisfied with how this started and how it ended

Kill Your Darlings immediately jumps into the action. Author Kyla thinks she’s dreaming at first. After all, she’s in Solera—the world she created in her fantasy series. But soon, she realizes that she’s stuck in Solera, who is in the middle of a war against the evil villian, and Kyla has to figure out how to save both herself and her favorite characters.

This book depicts the struggle of mental health, specifically with depression. It’s the main theme and the main abstract obstacle that Kyla must overcome. Kyla’s struggles, which Harper explains stem very closely from her own, give this book such a raw and emotional edge. I really felt for Kyla as she struggles with her very dark thoughts and depression in order to learn her self worth.

Harper’s wordbuilding is amazing. Solera is the perfect mix of a fantasy and a sci-fi world. It has dragons, magic, battles, and a slew of magical creatures. Since Kyla is the author, we also get great insight to how the world and its dark and light magic works.

Without giving anything way, I thought all of the parallels between Earth and Solera were done well. I like how we get asexual representation with Kyla’s character. And I love Kyla’s relationship with a dragon named Cendrion.

I did think the romantic subplot felt a little forced, especially considering the age gap. However, I think it accomplished what Harper needed it to do for the story. Besides that, my only main critique is that I wanted even more at the end of this story. There were some open-ended questions and interactions that I itched to see while I was reading. However, I understand why Harper ended the book this way, especially considering the frame of the story. Even without a more beefy ending, this book packed a punch!

A spectacular read, perhaps one of the most emotional journeys a book has taken me on this year. I’m familiar with the concept of the main character being transported to another world, in this case the author themselves, but I’ve never read a take on it from a western/european fantasy point of view so that’s what first drew me to this. As well as that, once I started reading, I was also taken in what felt like a very personal journey not only to the author but also myself. There were a lot of things I needed to hear written in these pages, as simple as some were, and I thank the author very much for them.

It’s hard to summarise the book itself without throwing spoilers everywhere but the blurb does a good job. If you’re interested in fantasy (especially dragons and evil dark lords), as well as heroes and journeys both fictional and “real” then this just might be a great book for you. The pacing, prose, complexity and intrigue are all there, and I felt so many different things while reading that it’d be useless to try and fit them into this review. Do be sure to read the forward though, the trigger warnings will be appropriate for this ride for many.

Overall, a wonderfully unique take that spans multiple genres and offers up a true heroes journey.
More of us might just need to remember to save our darlings, who knows where they’ll take us?

I received an ARC from NetGalley and the publisher in exchange for an honest and unbiased review, which I thank them

This book was an absolute, absolute pleasure to have been able to read!

Many appreciations to the author for including trigger warnings at the onset of the Foreword.

As a fan of the Sci-fi and Fantasy genre, 'Kill Your Darlings' was an utterly brave and brilliant attempt by the author.

Would love to purchase and read it again upon publication in the coming year.

Thank you NetGalley and Shivnath Productions for approving request to read and review.

—————————————————————
Read and reviewed in India
Publication date: May 24, 2023
Publisher: Shivnath Productions

This book was amazing. It was insightful and took a new and unique way of addressing mental health concerns. Ever since Pagemaster I've loved the idea of falling into our books. The fact that Kyla falls into one of her own creations is an even better spin on this concept. Throw in dragons, swords, and mayhem and you have yourself a. transformative fantasy adventure.

I received an advance review copy for free through NetGalley, and I am leaving this review voluntarily

This ARC was provided by Shivnath Productions and @Netgalley in exchange for my honest review.
I want to start by saying that the Content Warnings being listed in the Foreword was greatly appreciated! Warnings: Depiction of mental illness, including depression, anxiety, suicidal ideation, and self-harm.
“While there are many fantastical things in this book, I wrote from a place of there. Herein, I offer my deepest truths- truths I am not proud of, truths that I believed would do more hard than good if I spoke them aloud”
I absolutely love how the author incorporated their own battle with mental illness into this amazing story!
This book follows Kyla, a fantasy novelist, who wakes up in her fictional world. She uses the knowledge of the world that she created to attempt to save it.
Such a fun read, while also being raw and touching on real life issues.
Thank you Netgalley!

I have left this review on my Goodreads and Instagram.