(Full disclosure: I received a free e-book for review through Netgalley. Trigger warning for depictions of racism, homophobia, ableism, and bullying.)

At the time of this writing, we're only 49 days into the year, and I've been lucky enough to discover more favorite reads in this month and a half than in all of 2022. The streak continues with MONSTROUS: A TRANSRACIAL ADOPTION STORY, which is #9!

Comic book artist Sarah Myer (they/them) was born in South Korea and adopted by a white couple living in rural Maryland. Growing up in a conservative small town was hard enough as a non-white kid in a blended adoptive family - Sarah and their older sister Lizzie were two of just a handful of Asian kids in their school - but Sarah was different in other ways as well, even if it took them a while to fully understand and articulate the differences. In the interim, Sarah used the language they were most well-versed in to understand their un-belonging: "Monsters, aliens, mermaids, and mutants seemed like a good fit."

From a young age, Sarah was plagued by insecurity, low self-esteem, anxiety, fits of rage and violence, and vivid nightmares (particularly concerning the inner workings of the human body - a problem that was only exacerbated by their mother's breast cancer diagnosis). They excelled at art, especially drawing, and a childhood viewing of THE LITTLE MERMAID led to an obsession with mermaids - and a realization that their passion could one day sustain a career.

As Sarah got older, their "otherness" only grew, as did the bullying: racist, sexist, ableist, homophobic, and otherwise. Their interest in cartoons evolved into an obsession with SAILOR MOON and anime - years, if not decades, before anime became mainstream. As their hormone-addled classmates became fixated on the opposite sex (heteronormativity being the rule; a scene wherein the "gifted and talented" class discusses Mathew Shepard's murder is downright horrifying), Sarah remained mostly oblivious ... until developing a crush on Iris, a fellow theater geek. They often cosplayed as male characters as a pretext to dress how they wanted; as a way of expressing their queerness; or as a sort of armor against the outside world: "If I was in a costume, though, I felt safe. I was someone else." Sarah's small stature collided with stereotypes about "meek Asian women" and her supposedly "childish" interest in cartoons to further alienate them from their peers.

Perhaps this is why they were rarely punished (or received help) for their violent outbursts. Sarah depicts four instances where they lashed out physically against racist bullies. While it's hard not to cheer Sarah on (particularly when defending against physical harm; dad says what we're all thinking), their uncontrolled (or untreated) anger is clearly a problem. Sarah likens their anger to a monster: one that was self-created - and, thus, must also be self-conquered. Although, to be honest, this comparison seems unfair: the racist/sexist/ableist/homophobic bullies, who were tolerated/encouraged by the school administration, are at least equally at fault.

Sarah found bright spots where they could: art was a refuge, especially in the form of the after school GT Art Club, and they also discovered an affinity for acting when they land the part of Gavroche in LES MISERABLES. And, of course, as an adult Sarah is doing exactly what they dreamed of: writing, drawing, and teaching art.

While MONSTROUS is at its core a story about the author's experience as transracial adoptee, it's also highly relatable to anyone who's ever felt different, alien, or like an outsider. Monstrous. I use the word "compelling" a lot - maybe too much - but hey, if it fits (*shrug*). MONSTROUS isn't just a coming-of-age story, but perhaps one of the most evocative ones I've read. A graphic novel is the perfect medium for Sarah's storytelling, allowing them to give complex feelings physical form. And the artwork is simply marvelous: equal parts beautiful and grotesque, often simultaneously.

Trigger warning:

Racism, Homophobia, Abandonment

This graphic memoir follows young Sarah Meyer who is adopted by German parents, along with her sister.

All her Korean parents left her with were a pair of shoe that her adopted parents kept for her.

Sarah always felt different from everyone and despite being aware of her birth parents not wanting her, she felt there was always something in her that didn't want people to want her.

Throughout her middle school, she acted out and wanted everyone to be interested in her, to want to be her friends and while girls her age then wanted to play with dolls, Sarah wanted to play with super hero toys that boys played with.

Slowly, Sarah began to understand that she was different from others not just because of her looks which she experienced Racism for, the subtle comments from neighbours to her adopted parents and how she didn't want to be put in a box of one particular gender growing up.

In high school, Sarah was exposed to anime and in a bid to get closer to her origins as an East Asian, Sarah began to consume anime and Soon her drawing skills became something everyone wanted to be her friend for.

Sarah loved that people wanted to be friends because of her talent and even though they didn't see the real her, she didn't mind. She began to express her masculinity more and soon took on the name Shin of a famous anime character.

This graphic memoir explores the conversation of adoption in today's world of Racism where people face bigotry because of the colour of their skin and how they look.

It also raises the conversation of gender dysmorphia and queerness and how people still react negatively to people who don't conform to the binary Conservative gender.

In MONSTROUS, author/illustrator Sarah Myer explores their adolescence experiences of feeling like an outsider in the only hometown they knew. Sarah and their sister are not related by blood to each other or their parents. They were both adopted at birth from South Korea by white parents living in rural America, where they were one of a handful of Asians in the community.

To cope with their struggle to fit in, Sarah delves into their hobbies - drawing, anime and eventually theater. Sarah struggles with anger, feelings of rejection and loneliness, and worries about being accepted for who they are. As they build better friendship and feel more secure, they come into their own, which includes accepting their queer identity.

MONSTROUS will appeal to any reader who has felt othered, bullied or alone - regardless of the reason why. Sarah's supportive relationship with some peers and their parents (especially their father) will give readers hope that if they reach out, they may find the support they need. Sarah's struggles with behavior and outbursts of anger offer a unique level of realness and relatability. MONSTROUS belongs in every high school and public library.

*NOTE: While she/her pronouns are used in the book summary and within the book, the author's Twitter indicates their pronouns are they/them.

A story about a Korean girl who was adopted by loving white parents and grew up in a small town in Maryland in the 90's and 00's. She and her sister never met their real parents and she also grew up to be trans as well. It's an often heartbreaking story filled with bigotry and racism that was systematically ignored. It focuses on how she grew up in an almost all-white rural setting covering pre-school through high school. It's an engrossing read. It's just too long at 276 pages. It's so damn depressing. I wish there had been more focus on her acceptance of herself and not the nonstop self-hatred. It comes in the last few pages as she has an epiphany. I would have liked more time to read about how she came to terms with being Asian in a caucasian world.

Myer’s graphic memoir tells the story of their childhood and adolescence as an adopted Korean-American. Sarah deals with racist bullying, feelings of insecurity about being adopted, and a growing awarness of queer identity; ultimately, they find solace and self acceptance. The realistic portrayal of Sarah’s anxiety, insecurities, obsessive focus on drawing and fandom, and occasional violent outbursts all felt deeply honest. The racism depicted is extensive and horrifying, but the support shown by Sarah’s parents is heartwarming - the scene where her rural farmer dad takes her to an anime convention is particularly sweet. I’m glad transracial adoption as a topic is becoming more and more widely discussed, and Monstrous is certainly a worthy addition to that body of literature.

Thank you to Netgalley, the publisher of Macmillan, and the author Sarah Myer. Myer's YA graphic memoir reminded me of how my childhood and how my understanding of being Asian American relied on proximity to other Asian cultures and signifiers such as anime. Myer's memoir reminded me how Asian Americans weren't that visible in the mainstream or weren't known to be creating media as it is today. Myer's memoir shows how transracial adoption can be embodied within oneself and how it can differentiate between siblings as well. While Myer's style could be improving, her storytelling skills really come throughout the work.

Wow! What a book! This was a beautifully moving story covering a lot of nuances with so much depth it blew me away! The art style was gorgeous and so clear, they told their story about growing up adopted from Korea by white parents beautifully, with all the struggles that came with it. I loved the parents, they’re so supportive and accepting! The queer representation made me so happy, I love seeing people figure out who they are and grow from it.

Monstrous is a powerful and moving graphic memoir that explores the experiences of an adopted young Korean-American girl. Sarah's journey as she grapples with her identity, racism, and bullying is expertly depicted through stunning artwork and poignant writing. The use of her art and fandom as a source of solace and empowerment is a touching and relatable aspect of the story. The artwork becomes increasingly chaotic as Sarah's emotions spiral out of control, perfectly reflecting the turmoil she feels inside. This graphic novel is a must-read for anyone who has struggled with feeling like they don't fit in or has experienced bullying. The themes of acceptance, self-discovery, and resilience are beautifully woven throughout the narrative. Overall, Monstrous is a beautifully crafted and emotionally resonant work that will leave a lasting impact on its readers.

A visceral graphic memoir that doesn't flinch from the ugliness of others and the ugliness within yourself. Sarah Myer was a Korean child adopted by a white family in middle America, and she grew up in a small town where racism was rampant, but everyone insisted they weren't racist. The author explores how drawing, anime, and cosplay helped them hang on when the world seemed completely out to get them. Myer's art hits hard, especially when they explore the monster within themselves, and the final confrontation between their monster and them left me in tears. It's exploring the painful and difficult events of growing up as "other" and finding a way to survive despite feeling like the entire world is against us.

Review to be posted on my blog on June 12th (also will be posted on Goodreads and Amazon).

I received this book from Netgalley/the publisher in exchange of an honest review!

Yes, the gods have blessed me! I was allowed to read a new First Second book! *offers some chocolate as gratitude*.

This was an amazing graphic novel about growing up, anxiety, mental health, adoption, racism (I wanted to yeet people so damn hard), figuring out identity, being queer, and much more. We see our MC from when she was tiny to adult. You really see her grow up.

I loved her parents, who were supportive and were there for her (I loved how her mom was all kind and trying to help her and her father just says this at one point when talking with her about school: That racist little fucker, I just snorted, I am sorry, but go dad). I loved how they talked to her, gave her advice, helped her in any way they could, and more.

My heart broke so many times and I cried a few times.

The art was really good and I love the style, especially when she showed her inner feelings, monsters and scary things. I could really relate. Also with being boisterous and loud and over the top to hide feelings/not sure how to express your feelings.

I loved that she loves anime. From Sailor Moon to Pokemon to Evangelion (well, OK, this one I still need to watch after being an anime fan for years, but I am just not that big on mecha and I heard stories about the story so I will really need to find a moment that I am well enough to watch). I loved that she kept on watching and drawing despite everything. And that she was able to go to cons.

I would highly recommend this book, but be sure to bring tissues. You will need them.

Wow! I loved this! Honestly I didn't think I'd like this graphic memoir at first because it started out pretty slow. But I kept on reading and I'm so glad I did! At this point, if I can get auto-approved for arcs from First Second Books, I'd be so honored and happy. I've only read two graphic novels from them but so far the quality has been amazing.

Monstrous is about a transracial adoptee named Sarah who's from Korea but was adopted by white parents from the US. Their life growing up in a rural area near Baltimore comes with a lot of racism and bigotry. They develop unhealthy coping habits to deal with these issues, along with the many other issues that teenagers who are different face from their peers, such as being LGBTQ, neurodiverse, etc.

This is a book for people who never belonged to the norm. In Sarah, I found a kindred spirit. They love manga and anime and expressing themself through male gendered clothing, which makes them stick out like a sore thumb in their rural K-12 schools. I could relate to the anger and monster growing inside them that they visualize and anthromorphize whenever bullies torment them. At the end, they realize that it's very unhealthy but then again, growing up in the late 90s and early 00s, mental health wasn't something kids and teens talked about openly and instead, these topics were usually mocked at. I'm just glad that it's becoming less stigmatized in today's world. Gen Z gives me hope honestly.

Anyway, I love that the author/illustrator was very open with their experiences. I think this graphic memoir would really help teens today who are going through the same issues. It's a lovely feeling to know that you're not alone.

Thank you to First Second Books and NetGalley for this arc.

Monstrous is a very honest graphic-memoir. A beautiful coloured work full of the distress of the author, from feelings of injustice, being an outcast, constant racism, being hyper sensitive, raw, lgbtq+ awakening, betrayals and more. There is a lot to unpack, a lot to take in and it is very well constructed. We have a real feeling of growing threat when reading this work, how it was just inklings at first, that something wasn't quite right with the world around, how that translated into the author seeing herself as a monster, how the outside threats grew into more worrying overt racism which increased her self loathing and anxieties.
This was a very touching work that will talk to everyone that has ever felt like an outsider. But it's also a great way to start talking about difficult topics like mental health, discrimination, consequences... I also loved the contrast with the sister's experience, which was wholly different despite being very close in age, being in the same community & going to the same school, because we are all different and we all feel things differently.
Really enjoyed that one.

Thank you to NetGalley and First Second Books for the ARC.

The story is that Sarah is adopted from South Korea by white couple, who try their best to make her feel she is part of their family, since she is.

Sarah was adopted from Korea by two small town white parents. While they did their best and were supportive of Sarah, the rest of the small town only saw her as "other".

She faced all kinds of ill treatment due to her race, appearance, interests, and lack of gender conformity.

But in the end Sarah found that what others thought of her wasn't nearly as important as what she thought of herself. There's a really great healing of the inner child scene in the last bits of the book.

This really delves into how hurtful people can be from a place of not knowing.

There are a lot of great resources listed at the end for those who've been adopted, Korean adoptees, bullying, racial justice and LGBTQ+ supports.

Monstrous is the second graphic novel i read about the experiences of an korean-american girl growing up in the 90's early 2000's. In this case we have Sarah, born in south korea, adopted at birth by a white couple with german roots. She and her sister, another adopted korean girl, grow in a rural community were kids like them are seldom seen; This makes it hard for Sarah to feel like she fits with the other kids, whereas her sister seems to have no problem mingling.

As someone who showed creative proclivities as soon as i managed to hold a pencil, i related earnestly with her obsession with drawing, and how she used her abilities to try to connect with other kids or to cope with her issues. Also the portrayal of her violent outbursts product of the bullying she received from some cruel kids and how she interpreded those as 'having a monstrous nature' was interesting and made me think of how little portrayals of this type of defense mechanism bullied kids create are out there, especially with girls.

Her experiences discovering anime and the conventions was delightful, although i wasn't much of a weeb when i was a teen, reading these chapters reminded me of the first time i went to the local con and how in awe i was of the cosplayers, the merch, the dance competitions, etc. and my parents being thrilled about these weirdos with colorful wigs, haha.

Overall i found this autobiography very honest in nature and i bet it was cathartic for the author to relive their experiences for they weren't easy, there's some parts that are quite upsetting, sad, but then there's light at the end and i'm glad for that. For some (i bet most) the teenage years are far from the best years of their life.

Disclaimer: I was given an advanced copy for reviewing purposes from NetGalley. Thanks NetGalley!

This story honestly blew me away. As someone who grew up not knowing their birth father, I could relate to a lot of this story regarding a young girl's journey making sense of her adoption. I loved the fandom elements, and especially everything regarding Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Sailor Moon, which are two series which shaped me immensely! The art and writing are exquisite, I cannot recommend this story enough and hope that everyone feels the way I do about it when it is fully released to the public!

Thank you to NetGalley and First Second Books for the arc!

Once again the art in graphic novels swept me off my feet. This is soo beautiful and I wanted to stare at some of the images—especially those depicting nightmares/internalized hatred and fear—for hours on end.

I really appreciated this book for its reflection. I think it does a great job pairing the autobiographical nature of the author’s growing up amongst horrible instances of racism with the author’s now grown-up reflections on their experiences. Honestly though I’m so glad the narrative centered on Sarah’s emotions rather than the bullies, and while they hypothesized on the bullies’ rationale for bullying, it neither excused their actions, nor the author’s physical responses. (Props to the dad for sticking up for his kid!!) Anyways, it feels a bit like therapy, especially with the wording and gentle approach to their younger self. I think a lot of people (especially those growing up in the 90s-00s) are going to see themselves in this book, and hopefully this can help some kids facing similar acts of bullying or feeling othered in the future.

Wow, this was extremely painful. In the past decade there hasn't been a single day where the bullying in olevels hasn't haunted. Distracting yourself and pretending only to be reminded of your other worldliness when you look in the mirror, is a feeling I am all familiar with. I was nodding along agreeing with every thought Sarah was having because I have had those thoughts, I have them everyday and although they were hard to read, strangely I felt validated. I also felt angry all over again for the injustice of it all. For having to go through something so heartbreaking while the bullies think they are just having fun.
I felt every emotion all over again, the anger the confusion the clash between how my family saw me and how the world saw me. When Sarah said 'slowly disintegrated' I felt that and applaud her for using such amazing vernacular that accurately describes the victim's feelings.
Feeling like a monster every day all day. It's exhausting. While reading I kept thinking this is so accurate, is this me? Has Sarah written a book about me? This must've beeb difficult to write and illustrate but thankyou for rising above all those bullies and telling us your story because it made me feel validated. Your resilience and courage rubbed off of me and I feel like screaming YES I HAVE A BIG HOOKED NOSE but I have as much of a right to be on this planet as everyone else.
This got a bit personal but now I want to talk about the illustrations, they were beautiful. I was especially in awe of the the ones depicting the inner demons. To be able to portray your pain through art is incredible.
Other than that I love reading about Asian Culture and absolutely devour books/comics with asian protagonists. I got teary eyes because I was represented in this book, I am south asian but still it made me feel seen.
Educating people about not just different cultures but important topics like bullying is a an amazing step. One that we should encourage more. Plus a comic about all those important things makes it so much more accessible for all age groups, for readers and non readers alike. For literally everyone and I thank you Sarah for that. For not just representing us but trusting us with your story.

God this book really hit me hard. Being the "other" in an environment is so difficult and traumatic, especially when you couldn't understand why. This book has really made me think about my own experiences. I recently was just diagnosed with autism and ADHD at 26 years old. I never understood why I was different and othered growing up, but now that all the pieces fit into place, the sense of grief I feel for my younger self, who struggled so much without help, is immense. Reading this book helped me see my compartmentalized pain again in a way I could slowly unwrap and comprehend,

I'm so sorry you went through so much Sarah, from one Sarah to another. Thank you for sharing your grief.

Woweeeee this was a ride that I couldn't put down. Much in the way of other graphic memoirs, this one balanced fiction/fantasy elements with non fiction to give such an excellent and entertaining read.