This book really threw me for a loop. When I first started, I thought it was a romance book that I wasn't even sure I liked because it gave off Manic Pixie Dream Girl. But in reality this book delved into grief and beautifully showed how we can view people through rose colored glasses, ignoring all of the flaws that may exist. I think there was some room for growth on the mental health healing exploration. But overall I really enjoyed it. I did not enjoy the cliffhanger, to be continued aspect. I think it would have been a beautiful story as is. However I would also definitely read the follow up story so.

Thanks to netgalley and Sourcebooks Casablanca for this e-ARC in exchange for an honest review.

As always, Alice manages to make us feel emotional with her book 🥺

Leah loses her parents in a car accident and her older brother Oliver need to take care of her, but he gets a job offer in another city, so Oliver decides to leave her with Axel, who is his best friend. Both will have to live together and something will develop between them.

It didn't take me long to finish the book because the story is quite engaging and the characters make you want to keep reading to get to know them better. Leah is someone who had everything and from one second to the next she has nothing anymore. In Axel's case, I really liked how he helped Leah get back to her old self, although I didn't manage to love him as much as I thought I would. And in Oliver's case, he went out of his way to make sure Leah doesn't lack anything, so I always agreed with the decisions he made and I think he's the best brother anyone could have.

Overall, the book is easy to read because it hooks from the beginning and doesn't have a very difficult plot or a lot of drama.

Unfortunately won't get to this one, reviews aren't stellar and after reading further about it I don't think its for me. Appreciate the chance to read in advance though.

I don’t think I can do age gap romances. And this one really bothered me for some reason.

Oliver asks Axel to keep an eye on Leah while he works in a different city. Leah and Oliver lost their parents in a car accident, and she’s been suffering from PTSD from being in the car with them when it happened.

Leah had held a torch for Axel for as long as she can remember. He is her older brother Oliver’s best friend. Axel tries to get Leah to come out of her shell.

I don’t know why, but this book just gave me the ick. I was really happy when they didn’t end up together. Leah hasn’t experienced anything in life and wanted to halt her life for Axel who was (let’s face it) kind of a dick. He really pushed her in ways that felt slightly controlling. I was glad they broke up but it seems like there’s a sequel coming and I bet they get back together.

Thank you NetGalley and the publisher for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

Thanks for the opportunity to review this book! My review will appear on episode 20 of my podcast as well as on the accompanying website/blog beginning August 7th.

Review:

I have really mixed emotions about this book. The synopsis really made me think I would like it a lot. I’m a huge CoHo fan and it sounded like the plot of one of her books. On one hand, it kind of was, but on the other hand, it was kind of creepy and weird to me.

I was very sympathetic with Leah Jones - our main character. She was recently riding with her parents when they were involved in an accident. Both her parents died and Leah now has PTSD. Once a fun-loving and artistic young woman who enjoyed life, she now suffers from PTSD and keeps mostly to herself.

After the accident, Leah’s older brother Oliver stepped up and took on the responsibility of being her caretaker. He took on a job and has really blossomed in his career. So much that his company wants to transfer him across country to Sydney for a year to work there. The problem is, 19-year-old Leah is completing her senior year (she had to do it over because of the amount of school she missed after the accident) and he can’t pick her up and move her.

This is where Axel Nguyen comes in. Axel is Oliver’s best friend and owns his own home. Axel agrees to let Leah stay with him for 3 weeks out of every month (Oliver comes home for a week once per month). Leah has always been like a sister to Axel, and though it means he’ll need to chill out on his party boy ways and be more present for Leah, it’s something he feels like he needs to do.

Leah has a secret, though. She’s secretly had a crush on Axel for years, and as Axel pushes her to get out and live again, she finds it more and more difficult to hide her feelings for him.

The rest of the book is about Leah finding herself again, and the development of the relationship between Axel and Leah. I think my biggest problem with this setup was the age difference. Axel was 10 years older than Leah. He was also a bit of a party boy, a womanizer, and the relationship that developed between him and Leah felt kind of creepy. I get that technically Leah was at a consenting age, but it still felt weird that he was having sex with someone he’d thought of as a little sister for so long.

I also felt that Axel was really demanding of Leah as far as forcing her to go out and do things. I felt like his approach could have been less forceful and more sympathetic. At times, it came across as almost mean, which made it difficult to believe that Leah would have fallen for him. I get that she had had a crush on him for years, but I feel like that would have grated on my nerves and made me want to be with him even less.

I was bothered by the way Axel would always call Leah by name in almost every sentence he spoke to her.. “Are you hungry, Leah?” “Do you know what I’m saying, Leah?” A lot of the scenes were with just the two of them. I feel like she would have known who he was speaking to without calling her by name. She had PTSD, not amnesia. I wonder, though, if that way of speaking is common in the author's native country which may have influenced this.

While sympathetic to our main character, none of the other characters really grabbed me, and as you can probably tell, I didn’t get Leah’s attraction to Axel. In the end, this book didn’t really grab me. I know this is the first in a series, and while this one ended on a bit of a cliffhanger, I don’t know that I’m invested enough to continue with the series.

I went into this book blind and honestly I was surprised at how much I liked it. At first I was unsure about the characters and whether or not I liked them but honestly they grew on me especially Leah.

Leah and her mom and dad were in a car accident and both parents passed away while she miraculously survived. Her older brother Oliver takes her in and changes everything in his life to take care of her. He gets a job transfer where he has go be away for 3 weeks at a time so he asks his best friend Axel to let her live with him while he is away.

Axel thinks he has his life figured out but once Leah enters he comes to realize he doesn't quite know it all. Leah has survivors guilt, anxiety, and depression, has tried therapy but still can't break through to become herself again. Enter Axel - her brothers best friend that she has always been in love with. He treats her like a sister but within the flashbacks you realize he knows she has always loved him and when he finally gives in she breaks through to her old self and he learns that he can change his habits and patterns. At first I wasn't sure about the 10 year age gap. Honestly don't mind age gaps but she is 19 and he is 29, but it turns our Leah is more mature in their "relationship" than Axel. In the end I loved how Axel reconnected with his brother over what happens with Oliver, but Oliver pissed me off with how controlling he was, yes Leah needs to live her life and find out who she is past her first love, but because of him he made Axel out to be someone he really wasn't to her. Definitely will be reading the second one!

Tropes: Brothers Best Friend, Age Gap, Friends to Lovers, Forced Proximity

TW: Mention of Parent Death, Anxiety, Smoking, Alcohol, Negative Thoughts, Grief, PTSD

Thank you to NetGalley and Sourcebooks Casablanca for providing me with an E-ARC in exchange for my honest opinion!

Axel and Leah have known each other for their whole life. Axel is Leah's brothers' best friend, and he is 10 years older than Leah. Leah and her brother, Oliver, have been suffering the tragedy of losing their parents in a car crash. Oliver travels for work, and for his next job, he needs to be gone for a year. With that being said, Oliver is worried about Leah because of what happened to their parents, so he asks Axel to keep an eye on her while he is away for work. This story is about healing and recovering from such a traumatic experience, and also loving someone who you can't have.

If you want to read a book that is going to put you on an emotional rollercoaster, this book is for you. Leah's emotions and thoughts were very relatable to me. As someone who lost their parents basically at the same time, Leah's emotions and thoughts were very realistic. Going through the pain and trying to live life is very hard to where you just want to give up. Losing interest in things that you use to love or having flashbacks is another thing that will affect you. I related to this book a lot in regard to that aspect. The author did an amazing job writing how to feels after such a traumatic experience. I really enjoyed the characters and their connection to one another -- they were meant to be together. The ending killed me -- it does end in a cliffhanger.

Thank you NetGalley and Sourcebooks Casablanca for letting me read this book in exchange for a review!

This book was off to a slow start for me, but once I got last the halfway mark it really picked up and I got through the rest in a few hours! The story was okay, I liked the characters individually, and the language was beautiful. There were some really good depictions and descriptions of grief, depression and anxiety that I really liked, as well as the links to art, the repetition of song lyrics and what these things mean to the characters. I didn’t feel quite right about Leah and Axel’s relationship in terms of the 10 year age gap and her being only 19 though. Axel has known her all her life and seen her as a little sister, but suddenly he finds himself attracted to her and struggling to control himself! I guess it’s a somewhat redeeming quality that he feels conflicted about this too. Oliver’s reaction was totally understandable in my opinion, although slightly misinformed as Axel had already told Leah he didn’t want to tie her down and that she needed to go to college and get experiences.

I mostly enjoyed this book, so it gets ⭐️⭐️⭐️ from me. I probably won’t reread the story, but I would probably give the sequels a go!

Thank you Alice Kellen, NetGalley, & Dreamscape Media for this ARC! I absolutely loved this story. I am a sucker for the brother’s - best friend trope and this one was perfect! I loved the slow burn leading up to show Leah’s growth and Axel’s protectiveness for her throughout the book. It did seem long, but that was all for character building. I was shocked by the ending! I cannot wait to read more of her books in the future.

2.5/5 - All that We Never Were is being published in English on August 29. This follows 19 year old Leah, who's parents died in a car crash when she was 18. She was in the car and is experiencing PTSD as a result. Her brother, who is 10 years older, has changed his life to care for Leah as she works through her grief. Oliver's new job is taking him across the country for a year, but Leah is still finishing her last year of high school. Axel is Oliver's best friend (and has known Leah her whole life), and agrees to let Leah stay with him. Leah holds a secret though, she has always loved Axel, and Axel pushes her to get out into the world and live again.

There is a focus in this book on Leah getting out into the world and beginning to live again. She has been deeply traumatized and is struggling with finding "colour" in her world. It seemed like the author wanted to show PTSD as curable, but I don't think that is the case. It is something you continue to live with your whole life, you may have days of more or less impact, but it doesn't just get "cured".

I struggled with finding a lot of the things Axel did as something you would do caring for someone much younger than Leah was. He would ask Leah if she wanted to eat something, as if she would forget. Leah has been through a lot of trauma, but she read much younger than 19 years. I felt like she was around 16 years rather than 19. That upped the ick factor of Axel and Leah getting in a relationship.

This book was just okay for me, and though the book ended on a cliffhanger I don't know if I will pick up the next in the series. Thank you to NetGalley and Sourcebooks for a copy of this book. All opinions are 100% mine.

Unfortunately this novel is pretty toxic when it comes to multiple issues, and the way sickness is handled /described/discussed are propagating stereotypes that we want to avoid in this day and age. With some of these issues with ableism surrounding the narrative, so I am unable to recommend it.

Thank you to Netgalley and the Publisher for the Advanced Copy of All That We Never Were by Alice Kellen

"...I realized we were a puzzle that had been put together with the passage of years. The difference was that Leah had always had all the pieces, and I had taken years to find them."

All That We Never Were by Alice Kellen is a brother's best friend and secret romance packed with emotion.

When Axel's best friend asks him to look after his younger sister following the death of their parents, he's determined to help Leah heal. What he didn't expect was to fall in love...

All that We Never Were will be enjoyed by lovers of forbidden romance, age gap, brother's best friend, close proximity, angst, and don't forget cliffhangers!

Many thanks to SourceBooks Casablanca, NetGalley & Alice Kellen for this advanced copy of the book!

My Review: I enjoyed this author’s writing style and storytelling. Leah and Axel are profoundly flawed and complicated characters with a more complex history. With Leah being so young and having such an intense connection with an older man, and dealing with the grief of losing her parents, I felt a world of feelings about her. There were times when I was annoyed with her immaturity, and there were times when I empathized with her, given everything she was dealing with. There were times when I was frustrated by his actions as a grown man dealing with the young lady, and there were times when I could empathize with his inner turmoil. The relationship between Axel and Leah was cringy to me. Still, I also understood the long-standing history they have together from childhood and how it felt like they had this co-dependency situation during such a massive loss of two important people in both their lives.

All That We Never Were is a book about love and loss. Axel and Oliver have always been best friends. The two families are closely entwined. So when Oliver's parents are killed in a car accident their loss is felt deeply by both families. Oliver asks Axel to look after his younger sister while he is out of town working. Leah was in the car with her parents and has an extra layer of trauma added to her grief. Axel wants to help her with that. His methods are firm and at points very heavy handed. But as time goes on Leah slowly begins to open up and heal. Their relationship is full of tension - not helped by the fact that Leah has been in love with Axel since she was a young girl.

The story switches between Axel and Leah's points of view. It is a bit choppy at times and sometimes the throwbacks to the past caught me unawares. A highly emotional story that was a heavy read at times.

Thank you Netgalley and the publisher for the chance to read the e-arc in exchange for an honest review.

That said, 'All that we never were' is part of a two part story by Alice Kellen and I must confess that actually this is not my first time reading the story. It was 2021 / 2022 and I was going through such a rough and sad time in life, and reading Alice wasmy safe haven. Got me to love books and romance books once again after years of not reading much so it holds a special part of my heart (then again in its original format aka the spanish version).

Reading it now in english was so refreshig and reminded me also that despite a few aspects I'm not to in love with in the plot, Alice writes magic and I'm overall so happy to see more people will get to experience it too.

Summer read
Easy-going love story
Brother's best friend

I would say, though, to check for trigger warnings.

To name a few: depression, anxiety, PTSD, death of a parent and others.

I recieved a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. Thank you to Netgalley and Sourcebooks Casablanca for the ARC. All opinions stated here are my own.

I honestly wasn't a fan of this book, however, I'll preface by saying that it had potential.

There are minor spoilers in this review.

What really bothered me was the way that grief and PTSD were essentially dismissed as something "curable" by random activities and "getting your mind off things" when what should have happened was Axel taking Leah to a psychologist and encouraging her to talk about her grief. Then springing it on the reader at the very end that Axel has trauma of his own, as if to justify his neglect of her best interests. That just rubbed me wrong.

I do think that the story had potential, but it just wasn't executed well. He goes from seeing her as a sister to a lover overnight/randomly, and then pursues her with far too much pressure. This, coupled with what I mentioned above, paint a harmful narrative that a girl can't heal from her trauma without a man who "takes care of her".

I wanted to enjoy this book more, but I couldn't overlook these details.

“Everything can change in an instant."
“I don't remember when I fell in love with Axel.”
This book was great!!! An impossible romance. A story about healing and recovering from an indescribable trauma. Falling in love for the person you are meant to protect and help in her recovery. We have almost all the best tropes in a romance book I need but also some heart wrenching chapters about anxiety and ptsd and trauma that it is hard to recover from. Axel and Leah’s story was really good to read and to experience but I would be lying if I said that that ending didn’t break me a little bit. Because everyone we have that big brother’s best friend (with a 10 years age gap no less) and a furious brother when he finds out.
Apart from this trope and the forced proximity that will lead Axel to realise that he has had feelings for his best friend’s little sister for a long time now, the best part of it in my opinion was how much he showed he cared. It was the fact that he never gave up on her. Even in the darkest of nights, even when she was closing in on herself so much it seemed impossible to reach through. He never gave up. And despite the fact that she has just starting healing and living again like a normal 19 years old young woman … I understand her heartbreak in knowing that he is not strong enough to fight for what they have, claiming to know better than her what is best for her. And right now that college is about to start, they have been away for two months, thanks to her brother … what is going to happen ??? I would very much like to find out in book two !!!
"You can be wrong. You can make a million mistakes. People are like that, we screw up, but that's why regret exists, knowing how to say you're sorry when you need to. But listen, you know what's the saddest thing about not doing something because you're afraid? As time passes, when you think about it, you have to ask yourself for forgiveness for not being brave enough. And reconciling with yourself is sometimes harder than doing it with others."
“Sometimes we don't know ourselves as well as we think.
Sometimes...sometimes life is so unpredictable …”

All That We Never Were was captivating at the beginning of the novel-- the premise of Leah and Axel living together when she's been in love with him forever had so much potential. However, this story fell flat on reaching that potential. First, Axel's determination for "fixing" Leah after her experience of major trauma in the car accident with her parents is concerning and an unhealthy way to approach mental health issues. Second, it was so clear in this novel that Leah was still a child and Axel an adult-- had this story take place a few years in the future, it might have been less unsettling. Third, their "love" for each other once they were in a relationship felt weak and not very believable. While I was interested enough to finish this book, I would not recommend it to anyone.

Axel and Leah have known each other their whole lives. Axel is ten year older than her and he is also her brother's best friend. Leah and her brother, Oliver, suffer the tragedy of losing their parents in a car crash and their lives are never the same. "The difference between having everything and nothing is sometimes just a second". I could not put this book down until I found out what happens with their love story. The story just pulls you in. I'm pretty sure there will be a sequel to this book because it ends with "to be continued". I can't wait to read chapter two of their romance. Thanks to Net Galley for this ARC. I really enjoyed it.