INSTBITD follows Aria Cayetano, a seventeen-year-old girl who can see ghosts. Many details of her ability are common knowledge to everyone in her family, except for Aria herself. The special tea blend her Lolo (grandfather) has been making for her since she was young is a staple of her daily routine, but she finds that it’s made her connection to the spiritual world, and to herself, more difficult to cultivate. Aria goes on an adventurous, and, at times, harrowing journey to learn more about herself and the merging of reality and her dream world through helping her ex-best friend and neighbor, Derek Johnson, handle the ghost that has taken over his body and life.

This novel taps into a wide variety of themes and topics that arise as Aria races against the clock to get to the bottom of her friend’s possession and the confusion she’s always felt about her dreams. Aria deals with the grief from both the loss of a parent and the comfort of a dear friendship; complex relationships with blood and found family; a severed connection to an intense spiritual connection; and the usual pains that come along with being a teenager who is struggling to gain more agency and direction in their life.

It’s been a while since a book has outright made me cry - and I mean like tears hitting my page/screen in my feelings cry - and this book managed to do it more than once! Neilson writes about loss, grief, and spirituality with an intense tenderness and care that radiates off the page. I also really love the progression of the youthful romance in the story. Nothing about it feels forced or too sudden, and the characters genuinely love one another as friends first, so it makes it all the more sweet.

This was an attention-gripping read that had me on a rollercoaster of emotions from the first page. The horror and paranormal aspects of the story are also well done and left me wanting to know so much more. The book ends with an intriguing cliffhanger that I think will lead itself nicely to a sequel. This was my first Neilson read, and certainly won’t be my last. An enthusiastic 4.25🌟

The premise of this book seems really interesting, it reminds me a lot of "The Dead and the Dark" by Courtney Gould, so fans of that one should definitely check this one out. I requested this because I thought I might still be in my YA paranormal thriller era, and unfortunately I think I may have grown out of that phase. The writing felt really clunky and I didn't feel much of an urge to keep reading.

Seventeen-year-old Aria dreams of ghosts. She used to see them but thanks to special tea she doesn’t anymore. When an old rosebush dies and rots, it convinces Aria that something supernatural is happening and she stops drinking her tea.

The rosebush lives on her old best friends front lawn, and she notices he’s acting strangely. Randomly he speaks to her after having ignored her for years. Aria senses something isn’t right. With he help of her lolo, and her best friend, Aria tries to determine what is going on and figure out how she can help Derek.

This was a wonderfully done paranormal YA book. I loved the gothic vibes that it had. Aria was such a fun character, and I loved her development. This book really shows you what it is like to embrace your true self and find love. The book flowed nicely and at a fast pace. It did not feel like a 400-page book because of how great the pacing was. The sweet YA romance that the book had was also fantastic. I just loved so many things about this one it’s hard to find what I didn’t enjoy.

If you are looking for a paranormal ghost story, with some witchy vibes, and a little YA romance then you should definitely check this one out. Publication date is May 9th.

Thank you so much to Macmillan Children’s Publishing Group, Henry Holt and Co and Netgalley, @netgalley for this e-ARC in exchange for an honest review.

The way that Riss tells stories, the way that she is able to weave words together, will always be something special. Her books have this certain feel to them, almost haunting but not quite so melancholy as that. Really, they're just good.

I voluntarily read and reviewed an advanced copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

This story follows 17 year old Aria Cayetano. She has always dealt with dreams of ghosts and she used to see them too. She has to drink this special tea twice a day to keep the spirits away. After noticing weird behavior from her former best friend, Derek, and the rose bush outside of his home basically disintegrates Aria decides to figure out what’s going on. Through this process she finds out things about Derek and herself. The two grow close again and love is in the air for these two.

This was a quick read that I really enjoyed. It had the right balance of paranormal, romance, and a little suspense. I did think that the chapters were really short which made the book have 59 chapters and an epilogue. Consolidating the chapters would help to me. Overall I can’t wait to read more from this author.

Thank you to Macmillan Children’s Publishing Group, Henry Holt and Co. (BYR) and NetGalley for the opportunity to read this ebook in exchange for an honest review.

5/5 stars

This was the perfect blend of paranormal and romance. The pacing was great and I enjoyed the build of the mystery, the thrill, and the emotional bonds. I also enjoyed the representation of Filipino culture. Everything about this was seamless and I have no critique. Well done.

I'm Not Supposed to Be in the Dark was everything I needed, wanted, and more. This book was one of my most anticipated reads of the later half of the year and it didn't disappointment.

I enjoyed this one! The build up was a little long for my taste, but the ending was worth it.

Aria is flawed and gifted, but she’s unaware of both. To see her struggle and try to become a better person was a great representation of a YA book. I enjoyed her story, and the way it was told. Being inside of her fragile mind was enlightening. I also really enjoyed her notes in her notebook.

The romance was perfect, tension, will they/won’t they, friends turned enemies turned lovers. It was honestly the highlight of the whole book!

I recently read an engrossing YA paranormal fantasy/romance novel that kept me hooked from beginning to end. It was a riveting tale that seamlessly blended ghost stories and spirits' unfinished businesses with an exciting romantic subplot.

The story revolved around Aria Cayetano, a young girl who had the ability to see spirits. To protect herself from these haunted ghosts, she was forced to drink a special tea every night. However, as the story progressed, she realized that something ominous was about to happen that would change her entire life.

Complex feelings for the MLs, and secrets from her family, and she might be more powerful than she had ever imagined. All in a beautifully written novel that you MUST read.

I want to thank NetGalley and Macmillan Children's Publishing Group/Henry Holt&Co. for sharing this fantastic digital reviewer copy with me in exchange for my honest thoughts.

This story immediately pulled me in. I loved the main character, Aria, and I found that this whole story was just so well written and composed that I couldn't help but enjoy this.

Aria has a secret power. She's not really sure. In the very beginning of the book, she stops drinking the tea her mother and grandfather always push on her, and she begins to see into a gray world, some spirits. But, I'm getting ahead of myself. Her power doesn't fully come into play until later in the story, but it is there the whole time.

She begins noticing some oddities about her neighbors. Her ex-bestfriend, Derek, lives next door. And, he is really acting strange. It's almost like it's not exactly him sometimes. In her search to help Derek, Aria also finds out a lot about herself.

I love this cover!!! And, throughout this story, the author includes some beautiful descriptions of Wisteria. (I just wish I didn't have allergies! But I love Wisteria season!)

Overall, I really enjoyed this!

Out May 9, 2023!

I’m Not Supposed to Be in the Dark by Riss M Neilson is a book full of magic and emotion. It is a coming-of-age story full of growth and self-discovery.

Aria Cayetano is a teenager, a high school student, and a young woman that sees ghosts born into a magical family. From a young age, and presumably for her protection, her grandfather has been making a special tea blend to dampen her ability to see ghosts. Aria is content with this situation until something happens to the boy that lives across the street.

Derek Johnson was Aria’s best friend from early childhood until something devastating tore them apart. Now, Derek is cold to Aria. Owing partially to guilt, Aria makes it her mission to help Derek with whatever is causing him to act differently. Turns out, he is possessed by a ghost. This makes Aria the perfect person to help Derek. But, in order to help Derek, she must first rediscover herself and her abilities.

Along this journey of self-discovery, Aria must confront her family, the secrets they keep from her, her feelings for Derek, and the true depth of the power she has. Throughout this novel Aria has amazing character development. She goes from being an emotionally void and selfish teenager to an emotionally vulnerable, mentally strong young woman.

Aside from Aria, the supporting characters surrounding her are also interesting. Her mother is hard-working while trying her best to raise her daughters. Her grandfather is hard-as-nails and strict but loving. Her best friend Bri is a firecracker but also down-to-earth. She is there for Bri when she needs her. And, then there’s Derek, poor complicated Derek.

There’s also the imagery and the overall vibes of the book. The descriptions of the rosebush, the ghosts, fauna, the other flora, and magic are extremely lush. While the atmosphere of the book maintains a semi-creepy vibe from start to finish.

There are many other elements enjoyable about this book. The pacing was even throughout the book. There is representation of African and Filipino culture, interracial families, and biracial children. Dealing with grief, whether it is your own or someone else’s, is a main focus and dealt with superbly. Also, there are some great jump scare moments.

However, there are a few things that I found detracted from the story. The climax wrapped up entirely too quickly. While at the same time, the ending felt a couple of chapters too long. Also, I do wish Adelia was either more present in the story, or there was a better explanation for her absence.

Overall though, this was a solid YA novel that I can highly recommend especially if you like to dabble in horror.

4.5/5

Thank you #NetGalley and Macmillan Children’s Publishing Group for providing me with an advanced copy in exchange for an honest review.

***This review will post on Wednesday April 26th on my Instagram account. The link has been added below and is also on my profile.***

This was a really riveting paranormal romance. I was instantly intrigued by Aria’s story. I liked the unique take on magic and magical abilities. I thought Aria’s family’’s reaction to her abilities was awful, but it was realistic for the family to protect her by covering up her abilities. Aria has always been haunted by spirits and the gray other side, but it has been under control since she grandfather mixed up a special tea that she drinks twice a day to keep the spirits away. But when something is wrong with her neighbor and former best friend Derek she pushes herself to get more and more in touch with gift…even though she wonders if it is truly a gift or a curse.

Thank you to NetGalley & the publishers for this ARC in exchange for my honest review!

I’ve haven’t read Riss Neilson’s debut novel and now I want to. This was a very interesting take on supernatural powers and ghosts. I always like a good possession/ghost story with some slow burn romance mixed in. I also thought it was interesting how this was pitched as “for fans of twilight” because I expected vampires for some reason and there were none.

There were a few points were I felt the book dragged on a bit. It wasn’t bad, but it was just a bit slow. The action took a little long to get to. There’s a lot of character & world building which a lot of people might really enjoy. I liked how there was a lot of focus on Aria’s abilities as well as her learning about the spirit world. I also liked how Aria got to know Marcus and slowly relearned about Derek. I want to know more about Aria’s sister. Was she connected to the spirit world too? There were questions about her that didn’t get answered and that I’m curious about.

This book has a beautiful cover and the colors and imagery that were used was so vivid and realistic. I could see everything that was happening. I enjoyed this one even if it wasn’t 100% my style. I’m looking forward to the next book in the series that was teased on the author’s instagram!

I adored the story, the world building was amazing. I love meeting the different characters. I felt completely immersed in the story and couldn't stop reading it. The writing was also really nice. I couldn't put the book down and I can't wait for others to read and enjoy this story as well.

I'm Not Supposed to Be in the Dark by @rissmneilson
⭐⭐⭐⭐.5/5
🌶️/4

Releasing May 9th 2023

**Thank you to NetGalley for providing with an ARC of this beautiful story**

~Aria has a connection to the spirit world. She's been surpressing it with a magical tea her quirky grandpa has been making her for as long as she can remember. One day, the rosebush across the street rots and withers in a very unnatural way. On top of that, she catches Derek, her best friend-turned enemy sneaking around at night doing mysterious things.

When Aria decides to investigate and figure out what's going on with her ex-friend, she comes to realize that he is possessed by a spirit of his own. Together, Aria, Derek, and his unwanted spirit work to free themselves from the darkness and save each other's lives.~

Let's start with the obvious. This cover is absolutely stunning. The beautiful artwork paired with the intriguing title is enough to draw you right in.

Now, this isn't my usual genre either. I am a big fantasy adventure girl, but like I said, I was drawn in. This is a good YA mystery with a supernatural element. There was just enough spookiness without making me scared to sleep. I'm a big baby when it comes to things like that hahaha. I really enjoyed Aria as a character, and watching her grow through the novel felt like I was learning and growing with her. I also loved the African/Filipino representation! There was a unique take on magic in the real world without being outlandish or unbelievable too. Her and Derek's relationship was also very sweet, but the spiritual presence made situations tense and foreboding. Learning what led to their broken friendship was sad, but they slowly made their way back to each other. By the end, I had tears in my eyes, which, in my opinion, is a sign of good storytelling. The ending was great, and without a cliffhanger, pointed to a sequel in the future. I'd definitely say you should give this book a try if you're a fan of ghosts, mysteries, or even if you judge books by their cover 😅 I'm really glad I had the opportunity to read this and step a little outside my comfort zone!

#arc #mysterybooks #youngadult #upcoming #bookreview #newrelease

"From the author of Deep in Providence comes a paranormal young adult romance that follows a teen convinced that her best friend-turned-enemy is possessed by a ghost, perfect for fans of White Smoke and Twilight.

Seventeen-year-old Aria Cayetano dreams of ghosts. She used to see them too, but thanks to a special tea brewed by her grandfather, Aria's connection to the spirit world has been severed. Until a decades old rosebush suddenly dies across the street, convincing Aria that something supernatural is happening in her neighborhood.

She aches to investigate it, but the rosebush sits on her ex-best friend Derek Johnson's front lawn, and she can't question him because he hates her now. Aria doesn't know what drove them apart years ago, but she does know Derek's been acting strange for weeks, sneaking out in the dead of night to who knows where.

Then, days after the rosebush dies, Derek begins speaking to her again. At least Aria thinks it's him. Until she discovers there's a ghost inside of Derek that will take his life if it doesn't find what it's searching for.

As Aria and Derek race to uncover the mystery, another kind of magic takes them by surprise: love. But Aria has to decide how far she's willing to go to save Derek, especially when helping the ghost means tapping into whatever the tea has buried inside of her.

Bone-chilling and spellbinding, I'm Not Supposed to Be in the Dark is an alluring ghost story that's about exorcising the past to find a future to believe in."

Always here for a good ghost story!

I'm Not Supposed to Be in the Dark is a compelling, emotional look at love and what it means to embrace your truest self, even when the truth is terrifying. I thoroughly enjoyed this story. It is unique, the characters are loveable, the magic and mystery were interesting and engaging and the ending was bittersweet in the most perfect way! Highly recommend!

I’m Not Supposed to Be in the Dark follows a teenage girl, Aria Cayetano, who sees ghosts in her dreams. However, thanks to a special tea brewed by her grandfather, the spirits have been kept at bay for years. When an old rose bush in her ex-best friend’s front yard dies, and aforementioned ex-best friend, Derek, begins behaving strangely, Aria is determined to connect the dots between the supernatural events taking place in her town and save Derek’s life in the process.

This book felt like a modern day ghost story, but still maintained all of the elements of young adult fiction that readers love so much: enemies-to-lovers, friendship, betrayal, romance, familial drama—it was entertaining from beginning to end.

I especially enjoyed Aria’s voice as a character and her journey to discovering how to be a better friend, a person who listens and is empathetic. It was great to see such character growth wrapped up in such a riveting ghost story. I also appreciated the POC representation in the book. Aria’s mixed race is touched on several times, and her struggle to find her place within her two different cultures will be something that many readers will be able to connect to.

Overall, this was a fun read and I will be purchasing the physical copy in May!

Author Riss Neilson weaves a striking romance between protagonist Aria, who can see ghosts, and her ex-best friend Derek, who they suspect might be possessed. It was the romance, the pining and the tension between normal Derek and possessed Derek that kept me reading. I thought it was enjoyable.

Unfortunately, the book felt unfinished. I think it could have benefited from another round of developmental editing and line editing. There was such an interesting and compelling story being setup, but important information was delivered at strange times that actually undermined a lot of the tension. There were times in the story that really dragged or felt repetitive, information thrown in last minute instead of woven neatly. I often found myself surprised by how little I knew or understood because of some vagueness in the story (i.e. not really knowing which characters knew about Aria's magic and which didn't, being surprised by the sudden appearance of a grandma who wasn't mentioned at all in the 40% prior but it turns out she was just on vacation in Philippines - why is this relevant?)

There were structural choices that I didn't understand and don't think worked which makes me think that Riss Neilson would be an amazing storyteller with a stronger editing force to back her.

For example - the book should have started or woven in flashbacks of Aria and Derek before their falling out. We should have seen how they were, so that when Derek is possessed, we know something is wrong. We understand the importance. Instead, we're thrown into a space where Aria appears obsessed with someone who hates her, and it's awkwardly, clumsily done. His weird behavior is always either directly preceded by or immediately followed by what he normally was like, what he normally did, how he normally acted, which made the uncanniness fizzle out. They were great ideas, but they could have been setup better with a more hands-on editor.

This is exactly what I've been waiting for in paranormal romance! The ghosts, the chemistry, the witch vibes. This had me from the start and didn't let me go until the resolution, which was absolutely perfect. I loved Aria and her powers and the ghost realm was just creepy enough to almost make me not want to read this at night. The lore was so interesting, as was her family history, and I really enjoyed watching her come into her own by the end.