Melanie Springer Mock is a mom, a professor, and a friend with a powerful, vulnerable voice. She brings this trinity of relationships to a subject that has received scant attention in the parenting literature. As parents, we go through stages along with our children, but the purpose of all the early stages — infancy, toddlerhood, elementary school, and high school — is to prepare us for the last, adulthood. This transition out of childhood brings with it both grief (for the lost innocence and dependence of youth) and joy (for the independence and unique application of shared values). A professor, especially one who teaches in a small Christian college or university, has played a unique role in other families. An English professor, who reads a lot of personal essays, gets embedded vicariously into many families. When the personal parenting stages begin to match the professional role of mentor in transitions, reality becomes multi-dimensional. Friends, both ones with teenagers turning adult and ones who can stand apart from the drama of that stage, become all the more important.

This book combines all these perspectives as Professor Mock shares relevant findings from social science and spirituality resources, interviews friends, and relates her personal stories throughout. I have called this form "stealth memoir," and I find it very appealing. The tone is never one of "expert." Rather, it is the tone of a modern day Pilgrim's Progress. The author shares her anxieties and self-perceived mistakes. Then she takes a flying leap into the unknown. What an apt metaphor for the final stage of parenting.

"Finding Our Way Forward: When the Children We Love Become Adults" was an exciting, sincere, and heart-warming read for me. As a young adult who has been deeply moved by the influence of Melanie Mock, the kindness, compassion, and humility displayed in her words ring true with the person I know her to be. This story demonstrates how to love with an open mind and a heart of empathy. Melanie’s truthful depiction of her personal struggles with motherhood brings authenticity to her mindful desire to love the people she engages with in the world and respect their differences.

By diving into the relationship with her son as he joined the military despite her deep pacifist convictions, Melanie is able to demonstrate how we can love just as deeply even when belief systems split and we have to adjust to new phases of life. She articulates the struggle of letting go of old habits and comfort zones while exploring the beauty of what new dynamics can hold. This story touches on the pain and joy both for parents and young adults as they work through their natural, human flaws and towards healthy engagement with one another.

As someone with differing political views, it would be easy to feel targeted or become defensive about the different perspectives presented in this book; however, Melanie’s heart-focused tone is consistent throughout, rooting the more controversial topics in a light of discussion rather than condemnation. "Finding Our Way Forward" is an excellent example of how to remain true to your convictions while offering space for alternative perspectives to listen to without needing to feel suppressed.

I would recommend this book to anyone searching for authenticity and looking to understand the nuances of how to meaningfully struggle through hard phases in relationships. This book is relatable, kindly instructive, different, challenging, and uniquely passionate while still leaving the reader with enough space to hold their own convictions.

The title resonates for me on several levels.
With some variations, the author's position in life as a parent watching children grow into their own people and the harrowing path in a post-COVID environment is a gap that needs to be addressed. Children choosing some or none of the religious traditions of their youth has been a theme for thousands of years. The current environment with a different health, political, and religious world is unsettling. Melanie Springer Mock helps to define the issues as a parent, academic, and Christian.
Part of my heritage is Quaker and Mennonite. The elements of those traditions came through in my reading, but would not overbearing to those from other traditions. The statements help to define where her path diverges and merges with my own. The elements will help place the ideas in context.
Melanie Springer Mock's expose to thousands of undergraduate students is invaluable in her being able to provide a broader picture to those of use with only a few close examples of young people making the transition from high school to adulthood.
The book is a good adjunct to Traci Rhoades' "Not All Who Wander (Spiritually) Are Lost, A story of church" and "Shaky Ground: What to do After the Bottom Drops Out." for the paths taken at a different stage of life.

Parenting young adults at any time in history is a challenge. They're growing into new thoughts and ways of living. And as parents, we're readjusting our role and letting go of expectations. This day and age has added an additional layer of challenge as parents are navigating a shifting world along with their shifting roles. So how can we successfully launch our 18 year olds into adult life? And how can we feel confident in the way forward?

Author Melanie Springer Mock brings her years of parenting, combined with her years of teaching experience together in her new book, Finding Our Way Forward, to talk about how we parent in the adult years. Written post-pandemic, Mock addresses the shifting times we live in and how Gen Z is finding their way. Mock also calls upon her readers to look to the new generation to lead the way in what she finds to be innovative ways of living and thinking. She points out how the old ways of living and leading are no longer working, and how to observe these young adults for better ways of moving forward.

I found Mock's book to be extremely off putting and off base. What she's calling for is a radical abdication of established norms in favor of untested principles. Throughout the book, wherever old patterns find themselves at odds with newer ideas, the older ways of doing things are always discounted as out of date. The new is what will work. While I do believe our young adults are smart and innovative, to say that they're going to save us is shortsighted and dangerous. Additionally, Mock is extremely biased and stereotypes large groups of people. She repeatedly brings up the "white evangelical" church with a tone of distain and stereotypes "white cisgender men" multiple times throughout the book. And these are just two examples. Finding Our Way Forward is full of judgement on multiple groups of people. Furthermore, she perpetuates political biases that have been discredited; still she repeats them as fact.

I had such high hopes for this book. I really tried to come to Finding Our Way Forward with an open mind, ready to learn. But I walked away from the book with such a distaste for Mock's work. Other than a few ideas about how to encourage our young adults, there's nothing in this title that I would recommend. Greatly disappointed in this one and would warn my readers to run far from it.

*Disclaimer: I received a copy of this book for free. All opinions are my own.