In one single afternoon, Sadie's girlfriend breaks up with her, and then they witness police brutality, when police violently arrest a Black college student after she saves a white woman's dog from drowning and the woman accuses her of stealing her dog.

Sadie, who already has anxiety and agoraphobia, starts to spiral more and more, and is barely able to go outside anymore. Still, she wants to contribute to activism, so she starts hosting lives from her bedroom where she talks about the case, her anxiety, and finding joy as an anxious Black girl in such an anxiety-inducing world.

As someone who also deals with anxiety and agoraphobia, this was one of the most relatable ways I've ever seen it portrayed. Even as a white person I don't understand how people are able to function in current society without debilitating anxiety (and I don't even live in the US), and I won't ever be able to imagine how the intersection of being Black adds to that.

This is a stunningly beautiful verse novel that will stay with me for a long long time. I adored Sadie, and I also particularly loved how fleshed out and flawed all the important characters were. They were all imperfect and so incredibly real.

I really want to get a physical copy soon so I can tab it and treasure it forever, and I can only urge you to pick it up.

4.5 stars

Thank you NetGalley & Turn the Pages Tours for the copy of the book!

I enjoyed the book- a LOT. The way mental health is represented felt natural and shows the good & bad of it. I adored seeing flawed characters and them getting back on their feet. Lockington has a way with writing in verse that clicked with me heavily. This is one of my favorites that I intend on getting a physical copy of. I found Jackson and Sadie to be wholesome and they balance each other out well!

FULL REVIEW: https://missnisereads.wixsite.com/missnisereads/post/forever-is-now-mariama-j-lockington

Sadie, a Black queer girl in Oakland, suffers from severe anxiety. It's so bad the summer before her junior year in high school that she can't even leave her house after witnessing police brutality against an innocent Black woman. Her family is supportive and she has a therapist. With the additional help of an online community, her gender fluid best friend, and a new next door neighbor, will she be able to return to a more normal life? This novel in verse packs a lot into few words. I especially liked the story line of the next door neighbor - a Black teenage boy who was adopted by white parents as an infant - as he tries to find his place in the Black community. An honest, at times painful, look at teenage mental health.

I loved how poetic this book is being written in verse, I highly enjoyed the characters, as well as the authors note and the resources for black girls.

Forever is Now captured my attention from the first chapter. The main character, Sadie, witnessed an incident in which a black college student was a victim of police brutality. The incident happened during the summer and sparked a community demanding that justice prevails. The author addressed racial issues, mental health, adoption, and LGBTQ+ within the story. Sadie suffers from panic attacks, anxiety, and agoraphobia. The author outlines how Sadie overcomes these challenges. She found solace in boxing and creating an online community to connect with other individuals. I appreciated that the story addressed mental health’s impact on family members. I loved Sadie’s unexpected love interest; though they had different upbringings, they were both experiencing similar problems. I love when a story can bring out emotions I didn’t know I had. There was something about Sadie and Jackson that pulled on my heartstrings; I couldn’t stop reading.

I received an arc from netgalley and the publisher, all thoughts are mine.

An igniting story if a young girl finding a way to make her stand in a world where she is a target. I just finished reading this incredibly powerful story and I just don’t know how to completely speak on this one. Sadie is so real. Her story is real. I see Sadie in some of the young girls I have taught as a teacher. The anxiety she feels, you feel right along with her, but what this story does is shed light into the life of a young black girl, her family, friends, and while she is dealing with being a teen, she’s bi-sexual, she has generalized anxiety disorder, panic attacks, and now after witnessing a racially targeted abuse/arrest of an innocent black woman not much older than Sadie in the middle of getting some bad news, she is diagnosed with agoraphobia.

I love that Sadie had such a strong support system. As someone who has worked with young black girls myself, having a support system is not always there. Sadie has her mother, father, her awesome little brother Charlie, her best friend Evan who is non-binary, and a therapist.

Through the story you are right alongside Sadie as she comes to terms with what she witnessed, finding her voice and finding a way she can make a difference when her new diagnosis can be extremely debilitating to her, communication with friends, family… setting boundaries with people in her life. Sadie has a powerful voice and luckily she is able to use a social media app called Ruckus that helps her connect, cope, and heal.

I loved the relationships in this. Between friends, between Sadie and her brother, Sadie interacting with her therapist, Sadie and her followers, and Sadie with her neighbor. I love that Sadie is given that space to fall apart, to overcome, to fall apart, or do whatever she needs to do.

The romance was so sweet.

I love love love the accountability that Sadie and Evan have with each other.

Some notes- in the copy I read on my kindle, there were some conventional errors (letters missing, words added in, misspellings -not related to dialects)

Keep in mind : this is not a story structured in the fashion of a typical novel, rather written more along the lines of prose/poetry. Nonetheless, this was an incredibly beautiful story that deserves to be read. Whether you are young adult, adult, etc. this is one I recommend you read. The messages in this are important, and Sadie shows us the power children and youth can have (she is a teen) and the power one persons voice can make.

I am so grateful to have read this and I hope you take the time to read it. It took me a day, as I could not put it down.

God, this year is for the novels-in-verse, because this is the third one I've read that has been absolutely stellar. I fell in love with Lockington's writing when I read In the Key of Us last year, but this one certified her as one of my favorites. Sadie is so complex it's beautiful: Fiercely brave but riddled anxiety and fear, very vulnerable when it comes to her mental health and overwhelming feelings but her passion for social justice and Black folks burns so blindingly bright, and she shares a wide variety of relationships with the people around her that are simultaneously supportive, loving, and heart-breaking all at once. All is done masterfully in the verse format, which I have fallen in love with and am so glad Lockington chose to tell the story this way. I love how, despite how much heavy topics are packed into the story, like police brutality, biphobia, mental health struggles (panic attacks, depression, etc.), the pain of being Black in America, and so much more, Sadie ultimately chooses to focus on the joy life could bring. It was all just so good and spending my whole afternoon reading this was so worth it.

First, thank you so much Netgalley, the author, and the publisher for a chance to read this absolute work of art. Getting to read this ahead of time does not influence my review in any way. I also recognize my immense privilege of being a white person and how I cannot ever truly understand the depths of the content of this book.

I keep trying to figure out how to organize my thoughts on this book, but I feel like no matter what I say, it won't do it justice. This book was just so heartbreakingly beautiful and inspiring and important.

Wow. Just wow.

Sadie is a young, queer, black girl living with generalized anxiety disorder and panic attacks. The same day her girlfriend is breaking up with her, they witness an act of police brutality against an innocent black girl. This spirals Sadie into an overwhelming and crippling diagnosis of agoraphobia. Something that had been building up through her life but was pushed over the edge by this event.

This book dives into the complexities of mental illness in such a raw, honest, way. These characters are very easy to like and the emotions that this story pulls from the reader are important. I absolutely cannot express enough how much I love that the message of being strong and delicate. Of being vulnerable and brave.

Taking her mental illness symptoms, Sadie works to overcome the challenges they bring to really stand with her community and learn to be brave and afraid. The activism, the joy, the coping, the fear, the pain, the liberation - it's all so beautifully woven together.

The queer representation is also just wonderful! Sadie's best friend Evan is non-binary and I absolutely love reading a supporting character that is gender non-conforming.

The poetry in this book is also just so damn good. I'm just in awe.

For being her debut YA novel, Mariama J. Lockington absolutely rocked it. This cover is stunning, the format of it being written in verse helps it flow beautifully, and the story itself is everything I've already said.

I cannot wait to buy this book when I can afford it. I highly recommend it.

Just do note that it is heavy in spots. It can be triggering and it can make the reader uncomfortable or anxious. Read with care.

A brilliant novel-in-verse that wonderfully relates the hardships of having an anxiety disorder, of suffering from agoraphobia, and of being Black in America.

This book is very funny, real, and deep. It can get dark, showing Sadie’s spiraling thoughts and self-hate, the falseness of anxiety that feels like truth in those suffering from it.

Personal heartbreak and witnessing an incident that sparks BLM protests in Oakland, California send Sadie Dixon into a panic attack. She talks with her therapist and gets a diagnosis on top of her generalized anxiety disorder: agoraphobia. The book does such a good job of showing how intrusive thoughts of worst-case scenarios have a physiological response.

Sadie’s healing journey isn’t a steady incline, and her limitations affect those around her. Her younger, middle school age brother doesn’t fully understand how her agoraphobia works and feels like Sadie isn’t there for him when he needs her, like his cooking showcase. The book explores familial and friend reactions to mental health and personal decisions and that sometimes the first reaction isn’t healthy. Everyone is still trying to be a better person and grappling with different points of view.

Sadie is really involved in activism both in words on the fictional activism TikTok-like app Ruckus and with actions, organizing events to help get people behind Corinne May, the Black lady wrongfully attacked and arrested by the police mentioned above. She battles with how mental health limits her, learning when to stop, when to get through things.

Sadie shares part of her mental health journey on the app and later decides to frame her live videos around Black joy. This is a healthy decision for her and connects with so many people. She writes poems and encourages others to share their joy.

Sadie is bi and experiences a bit of biphobia. She thinks her mom is way too encouraging of her dating a boy and is sensitive from her mom’s past biphobia. Her nonbinary friend Evan tries to steer her into a dating focus on women, which Sadie and Evan’s aunt call them out on. They learn and realize their mistakes.

Other people making someone’s personal identity their own business is one of the themes of this book. As is finding healing from trauma, healthy and unhealthy ways to seek safety, and honesty to oneself and to others. It’s a really good book.

The book contains so many moving passages, and one in particular really struck home for me. It’s not about chronic illness and chronic pain, but the words themselves ring true to what I feel a lot with my health. Like something was finally articulated that was only feeling and un-worded fear. Having chronic pain isn’t the same as agoraphobia, but this passage that ends chapter 10 in my review copy hit home so hard.

“This is what I can’t explain
the endless cycle
the good day
rolled into the next bad one
the confidence
rolled into a doomed pattern of thought.

What I can’t say to Mom or Dad
to Charlie or Evan

what I dare not say
even to myself sometimes

is:
What if I can’t do this at all?
What if I’m not meant
to survive
this much pain?
How do I get through this thick,
dark water?”

Sadie and I are both learning to take it one day at a time, to progress through our limitations, to listen to our bodies, to see the people around us as our community.

10/10 stars. Easiest rating I’ve ever had to do.

Absolutely and all-around stunning.

A coming-of-age novel in verse, Forever Is Now explores identity, mental health, relationships, and existence as a Black woman in America. Each topic was handled with nuance, depth, and care, and I felt every emotion along the way.

I fell quickly in love with the characters for their realism and personality, but also for their nurturing love of one another. Sadie is funny yet honest, fearful yet courageous, traumatized yet hopeful. She is a thoughtful friend and sibling, and I found myself often in tears as she moved through her story.

Sadie’s struggle with health and climate anxiety in the wake of the pandemic resonated deeply with me, and the discussion of social activism, relationships, generational trauma and grief are all incredibly impactful.

I can’t recommend it enough.

I voluntarily read and reviewed an advanced copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

I was initially drawn to this book by its beautiful cover. Sadie is struggling with anxiety after an incident in which she and her girlfriend witness police brutality. She then deals with agoraphobia because she feels as though nowhere is safe. Her only connection to the outside world is through social media. This was my first time reading a novel in verse and was pleasantly surprised by how easy it was to read. I look forward to reading more from the author in the future.

Thank you to Macmillan Children’s Publishing, Farrar, Straus and Giroux (BYR), and NetGalley for the opportunity to read this ebook in exchange for an honest review.

I thought it was so beautifully written, the flow was immaculate, and I loved the message that the author presented us with. I think this was such a necessary story to read. Beautiful and important.

I have to give a special thank you to this author for writing this book!

I have typed and deleted so many times because what I feel is hard to put into words.

I cried, I smiled, I felt anger, I felt fear, I felt the relation, but most of all, I felt seen. Sadie went through a lot and overcame even more. She is brave to have faced so much of the terribleness of the world and still want to continue to better herself and put herself out there for others that might be going through the same thing.

I will be buying copies of this book for friends and family that I know can related/benefit from reading something that they too will be seen in.

This is 100% a must read!

It has been a while since I felt this represented by a book. Forever is Now is a must read for sad Black girls everywhere. Written in verse, the book follows Sadie over the course of a summer as she manages her chronic anxiety and a new diagnosis of agoraphobia after witnessing a violent act with her ex-girlfriend. The book discusses mental health– specifically that of young Black women, family, joy, different forms of activism, queerness, and so much more. I loved this book. Lockington’s writing is just so heartbreakingly honest. There were times I had to put the book down because it hit too close to home. So many moments of “omg you put it into words!!”, which is the best feeling to have when reading a book. While this book deals with some heavy topics– police brutality, mental health, homophobia, guilt, race– I really appreciated how everything was handled. Yes, Sadie was dealing with a lot. But she also had movie nights with her best friend and ate cookies baked by her younger brother. Lockington did a beautiful job of depicting social media as well, something that can be very hit or miss in books. This book made me want to lie in a hammock outside in the middle of the night and listen to sad music. The dream. Cannot recommend this one enough. Fans of Nothing Burns as Bright as You, Stars and the Blackness Between Them, and Finding Jupiter will love this book.

After witnessing a black woman falsely arrested, Sadie, a black teen struggling with anxiety spirals into agoraphobia. She works to rally the community through an online platform.

This book really delved so many hard topics, police brutality, Blackness, mental health, family relationships, relationships through mental health struggles, and political resistance. It was done in such a beautiful way that it was able to be soothing and lyrical while also being able to address these hard topics.

With Sadie suffering extreme anxiety, seeing police brutality in person skyrockets her anxiety, causing her to experience agoraphobia. With her friends and her family supporting her, she is trying her best to make progress towards freedom. But she also doesn’t feel like she can share everything with any of them. Struggling alone she turns to social media to help her document her struggles and joys. Celebrating Black joy and helping to push for social change, she is still active in life even as she is stuck at home. She is able to find strength in the people who love and support her.

I really liked this book a lot. Sadie is a beautifully flawed character, and we get to see her trying her best. It is hard not to let mental health issues get in the way of relationships and it’s hard to deal with the consequences of the worst periods of mental health. I loved the support and love she received in this book.

CW: racism, biphobia, police brutality, panic attacks, depression

**I want to start by being fully transparent; I received this as an ARC from publisher and NetGalley BUT that does NOT sway my feelings/opinions at all. This is a fully unbiased review formed from my own thoughts after reading. Thank you NetGalley and publisher for allowing me this eARC copy**

Forever is Now takes us through the life of Sadie as she struggles with chronic anxiety while being a black woman and seeing the hate people of color are given. Sadie ends up not being able to leave her house because of her anxiety after witnessing another black woman get arrested and treated more than poorly. She ends up turning to the internet and livestreaming her days as she struggles with mental health and trying to bring awareness to the reality of police brutality/racism.

A beautiful book that tears at the heartstrings. I love novels in verse, and this one just really spoke to me. The words flowed and were so easy to read, and while it was an emotional ride, it also left me feeling contented in some way.

This book was a loving and thoughtful exploration of so much--mental health, family, Blackness and anti-Blackness, political resistance, social media, friendship, romance. I don't personally always love a novel in verse but i felt like it worked well enough for what it was doing--if i were someone who was into that format more, i might have rated it even higher, but i thought it was well done for the structure.

I want this book in school libraries or as class reading.

NetGalley ARC

While I think books written in verse are beautiful, they aren't always for me. Even though I cannot relate to the feeling of not being safe in America, I thought that it was really powerful to read through Sadie's journey of building a "safe place" inside herself. Definitely recommend this book!