Thanks, Macmillan Audio, for the gifted book!

This book turned out to be very different than I expected and, honestly, not in a good way. If you asked me what type of books I loved the most, my answer would be vampire stories. THE GOD OF ENDINGS was a vampire story, but it was more of a vampire trying to be human and live in society while fighting their hunger. That summary would have fascinated me, but then it alternated each chapter with a story from Collette’s past to see how she got to where she was. Then on top of it all, there is a thriller-type storyline in the present-day chapters. I felt like I was reading three different books.

I love history and historical fiction, so if this had just been Collette’s life from start to finish, I would have enjoyed it. If it had only been the present day with the thriller storyline that would have been great as well. Or if it were two separate books with Collette’s life and the thriller, that would have been best. I know there was a small purpose for the thriller, but it was just too much going on.

Jacqueline Holland had some wonderful characters and great ideas, but the execution was poorly done. You know the quote by Coco Chanel, “before you leave the house, look in the mirror and take one thing off.” Holland should have taken off one plot line or maybe two.

A shoutout to the narrator, Saskia Maarleveld, who made excellent voices and brought the story to life. Honestly, if I had been reading it, this would have been a DNF. It’s only thanks to the narration that I pushed through to see if anything unique would happen.

CW: blood, animal death, antisemitism, addiction, drug abuse, attempted suicide, grief, child abuse, child death

I’m finding this one difficult to review so I’ll tell you a story:

I started this book a week ago. Listened to about 60%, went to bed and literally forgot about it. I. Forgot. About. It. So I opened the NetGalley app and saw it, remembered I was listening to it and attempted to pick up where I left off. I was confused so I backed it up a bit. Then I was remembering it all and didn’t want to sit through it again so I went back to where I’d started and listened through.

Basically to summarize, I did very much enjoy the last 40%. It was interesting and I definitely wanted to know what happened. However, if you’re a rereader like myself, I can’t say this book fits that mold exactly since it had only been a week and I couldn’t relisten to hardly any of it. Do I wanna know what’s next? Absolutely, I’ll be continuing. It was decently paced and the narrator was great too.

So even though I completely forgot about it leading me to believe this isn’t the most memorable, the inability to read it again because I knew everything already leads me in the other direction- see my reviewing dilemma??

I think I’m going with 3.5⭐️, rounded up of course because I did like it but I’m conflicted.

Thanks to NetGalley for the audiobook, and Flatiron for the paperback!

This beautifully written story is about Collette a beautiful artist that was made immortal as a young girl. She struggles with a secret that keeps her from getting too close to anyone, when she does it has terrible consequences. This is an epic story told through centuries of war, disease and despair. Collette’s life is heartbreaking and full of suspense as she finds herself in the 80’s faced with an opportunity to help a gifted child . She is overwhelmed with a dark presence from the past that threatens everything she has worked for.

I really liked this story. It has vibes similar to The invisible Life of Addie LaRue and Interview With a Vampire. I devoured the story and couldn’t stop listening to it. Towards the end as the past and present stories collided I felt that something was missing. For me the story seemed to be missing some crucial elements. It is like having a perfect ice cream sundae without the whipped cream and cherry on top. Still enjoyable but I felt a little empty,

3.5 ⭐️

Thanks to NetGalley for the audiobook in exchange for an honest review. The narrator did a great job with the accents and delivered a good story.

THE GOD OF ENDINGS by Jacqueline Holland and narrated by Saskia Maarleveld was a deeper, character-driven look at the emotional toll being an immortal might be.

Though Anna/Anya/Collette is a vampire, this is definitely not a horror story, though this aspect clearly makes it fantasy.

This is a sort-of coming-of-age story of Anna who becomes a vampire at a young age and is brought up by her uncle who does little to help her understand her new state. Part historical fiction, Anna makes her way through the centuries hiding away from humans through wars and changes of technology.

The second timeline pieced through, is the 1980's Collette (Anna) teaching a French preschool in America. In her class, a young boy begins to need her help primarily due to a difficult home situation. This becomes a dangerous situation as Collette's cravings are starting to increase and causing anxiety to rise in her.

What is the price of living forever when everyone else dies?

Does a moment matter if there is no end to creating more?

I really enjoyed this audiobook once I understood what it was. I had different expectations with the vampire aspect, but it became a thoughtful introspection of what makes life a wonder and valuable. I especially liked the young girl who wished to travel to France and paint. The narration was lovely and captured the tone of this story very well.

Thank you to @netgalley and @macmillan.audio for the advanced listening copy. I truly enjoyed this story that will be available on March 7!

I would have rated this 5 stars except for one teeny scene involving cats that I will not spoil, however, I was disturbed by it. As was the protagonist. But I digress.
Collette LeSange is a artist who runs an elite preschool in upstate New York. The year is 1984. However, Collette has been around for centuries. Yes, this is a vampire novel, but not like any I've read before. The chapters go between Collette's tragic past to her present situation. A situation that is becoming unbearable, what with her growing out-control hunger, sleep-walking and involvement with a gifted student and his troubled family.

*Special thanks to NetGalley and MacMillan Audio for this audio e-arc.*

Advanced Reader’s Copy provided by NetGalley, and Macmillan Audio in exchange for an honest review.

The God of Endings by Jacqueline Holland is broody, and atmospheric. The story had the perfect feel for a vampire novel. I enjoyed the nonlinear timeline and the glimpses of Anna/Anya/Colette's life.

While I was reading, I had a hard time fully grasping the vampire lore of this novel. But within the last 20% of the book all the loose ends were perfectly weaved together. Overall, I felt like The God of Endings was worth the read! Fans of atmospheric, broody/moody books with an almost dark academic vibe would enjoy this novel. It is a vampire book, that feels very human.

Saskia Maarleveld is one of my favorite narrators and again, they did an amazing job capturing the feel of this story.

Thanks to Macmillan Audio for the copy of this audiobook!

When I read "vampires + Addie LaRue vibes" I knew I had to pick this book up. While there isn't a strong romance storyline like there is in Addie LaRue, The God of Endings is a strong character-driven story about a women who is turned into a vampire by her grandfather at a young age when she's on the brink of death. He says, "This world, my dear child, all of it, right to the very end if there is to be an end, is a gift. But it's a gift few are strong enough to receive. I made a judgment that you might be among those strong few, that you might be better served on this side of things than the other. I thought you might find some use for the world and it for you. But if not, my sincerest apologies for the miscalculation."

As we follow our vampire, Collette LaSange in the 1980s timeline, we get flashbacks to her childhood a century and a half before and her reflection on her grandather's words throughout her life. She struggles to source her food while also presenting as "just your regular, everyday art teacher", to be a vampire while also caring for small children, and to continue on with life when she longs for the silence of death.

I enjoyed this read. It's definitely for a particular type of reader, and is a slow and winding story that I believe is best read over the course of a week or two - which is also how I read Addie LaRue. I absolutely loved the ending of this, too!

I really enjoyed the audio from Saskia Maarleveld - she's one of my favorite narrators!

Read if you:
- Enjoy character-driven stories
- Like vampires
- Loved The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue
- Want to take your time with a read

Thank you so much to NetGalley and to the publisher for the ARC in exchange for an honest review. It was my pleasure.

This is a story of an immortal woman that jumps back and forth through time throughout her >200 year life. We see her childhood which was fairly happy, but tragic, losing some of her close family members. We see her rebirth and training in her new life as a vampire. We see her grappling throughout her life with her desire to be a caretaker, artist, and teacher while also being a monster in many respects. It was fiction obviously, but the questions about the meaning of life and whether it is a curse or a blessing were very thought provoking. We also deal with the Slavic god, Czernobog, throughout the book who plagues her at every moment. Is he real? Is he something to be feared? Will he kill her? And is she ready to die?

I really loved this book. It was beautifully written, the narrator was excellent, and the story was truly interesting. Anna was likable, and I cared about her. I really felt like she asked some good questions about immortality. I liked the fact that this didn’t glamorize vampirism at all and also that there was no romance. We need stories that can stand on their own two feet without needing an overarching love story.

The reason I gave this 4/5 stars is because there were just a very few issues I had with this book. Firstly, it was too long. There was so much detail and backstory that I do think some of it could have been cut to make the whole story more palatable. Secondly, I felt it was evident that when Challah (not sure how to spell her name as I listened to the book) came to her in a vision that she wanted to be asked about receiving eternal life. Then, we get to the end of the book and someone is potentially given it without asking them if they wanted it. That didn’t seem cohesive to me.

Overall it was excellent and I would absolutely recommend to my fellow book lovers.

The above review was posted to Goodreads under the name Shavon Gruber Haag.

I loved the narrator and the story kept me engaged the whole way. Great characterization and sense of place/time/era as well. I would have loved more explanation in regards to the actual God of endings, but I would absolutely read a sequel if there is one and rec this to friends. Thank you so much for letting me read this book, I liked it a lot!

The God of Endings follows Collette née Anna. She teaches art and mostly keeps to herself and that's because, well, she's a vampire. She's mostly content with her life until she meets Leo, a child with a difficult home life. We spend time unraveling Anna's past while at the same time walking with her an Leo in the present.

It's giving Interview with the Vampire. Despite the fact that God of Endings was incredibly well-written, this book was long. In fact, I think it was too long. There were times that parts were just so drawn out that I lost interest. However, Anna's life story is interesting and I was compelled to see where everything ended up. I will say that the story took a turn I didn't expect and I still don't know it that's a good or bad thing. For me, it was engaging even if I didn't need every little detail that wasn't edited out. In the end, I'm always going to be a sucker for a vampire story, but I wonder what the underlying message is here. Is it that motherhood makes a woman's life worth living? If so, then I hate that message. If not, then what the heck is the message?

Thank you to NetGalley and the publishers for this ALC. Saskia Maarleveld was a wonderful narrator.

I just finished this novel thanks to NetGalley's audiobook ARC.

I genuinely enjoyed this novel, and I read another review that compared Anna/Collette to Matilda's Miss Honey, and I must say, I thought the same thing as soon as the tragic Leo was introduced. A surprisingly naive (for her century and a half of life) PK/K teacher and artist laments her vampiric immortality. This take lends itself more to the likes of Interview with a Vampire than, I don't know, Twilight, in the best possible way. The reader wades through the mire of Anna/Collette's conscience and loneliness as she intentionally alienates herself from those around her. Despite her self-isolation, humanity pervades, and the ghost of a girl from her past absolves her from the guilt of living and helps her rationalize her final choice. Though this is a heavy burden for a book, I was invested in the main character. I have read complaints about the ending, but I think its moral ambiguity (and Leo's unknown reaction) beautifully endcaps this novel.

This hauntingly beautiful and devastatingly sad novel is nothing like I expected. I am floored by the beauty and heartbreak contained in these pages. I say pages, but Netgalley and Macmillan Audio decided to destroy me yet again with another beautiful audiobook so that I could leave an honest review. Just an achingly gorgeous narration.

This is not like any of the vampire books you've read before. This is the story of her life - both currently as Collete, who is a school teacher for the young children of the wealthy and her past as Anna, the daughter of a gravestone maker as tuberculosis ravages her village and her family slowly dies around her. Her grandfather, an odd man who remarried her grandmother, turns her into an immortal who typically feeds upon the blood of animals. This is a fascinating story as we jump through historical events as we travel with Anna through her past and she gradually decides to avoid loss by avoiding claiming anyone to love. In her present, Collette grows to care for a sickly and mostly unwanted little boy named Leo with a very troubled home life. This is slow and meandering at times, but I adored every second of it.

Anna/Collette is not a monster and she has the deep guilt built across time to prove it. She has trauma and she has lost much in her long life. She's had everything taken from her by time and the god of endings. I did not anticipate this making me consider what it means to love and risk your heart to grief, consider what mortality means to someone who is immortal, and ponder on death itself. This was a phenomenal read and made my heart ache so many times. The ending was a little bit bittersweet, which seemed incredibly fitting.

This broke my heart and made me smile so many times. Beautiful story.

At its core, The God of Endings is a deep exploration of the human condition. Holland's exquisite writing and immersive worldbuilding perfectly capture Anna's long, dark descent into paranoia and loneliness, as she struggles to cope with her undesired immortality.

The God of Endings is a hybrid of literary fiction, Gothic historical fantasy, and a contemporary domestic thriller with vampires. Told through multiple timelines, many will compare The God of Endings to The Invisible Life of Addie Larue. In as much as the novel interweaves the present day with those of Anna's past as she grows to understand her immortal nature.

By 1984, Anna, now a teacher at a small school, has learned to survive in a world not meant for her. She surrounds herself with children to cope with her solitude. However, when she becomes overly involved in one of her students' lives, Anna's world begins to unravel.

If I have any complaints, it was a tad too long, and I was left feeling a bit unsatisfied with the ending. However, I can't wait to see what Holland writes next.

I listened to this on audio, and thought the narrator did a fantastic job.

Thank you to Netgalley, Flatiron Books, and Macmillan Audio for an advanced copy in exchange for an honest review.

This was so lonely and beautiful. This book is just seeped with loneliness, but I couldn't stop listening. It is not plot driven but character. Their are alternating timelines from her first lost and the ones she has experienced up to her present day. Then you get her life as it is now, how she filling her time and still that ever present longing she has. Only thing I wish we had was a bit of vampire lore, other then drinking blood there nothing about it. How do we go 150 years and not explore what causes you to live how you have to,

Listened to this one on audiobook thanks to NetGalley!

Didn’t realize this was about a vampire at first, & I don’t consider myself a vampire buff by any means, but it was really a nice surprise once I realized that it was as it’s something new for me. This is only my third audiobook experience and I have a feeling I would have enjoyed the story that much more if I had read a physical copy, as there are time jumps and flashbacks and we learn about both the narrator’s past and present. I found myself gravitating more towards the narrator’s present day life as a teacher and wanting to know more about what was going on with her student Leo (besides an obviously abusive father) than I wanted to know about her past life, so it was a bit frustrating as I felt like the parts about her present day life and Leo were doled out much more sparingly than the parts about her past. I wasn’t as invested in her past as I wanted to be- again, this could be due to me and the format just not totally clicking-but I didn’t connect as much to these sections. Overall the writing is what really impressed me, it’s very beautiful & engrossing. I can’t say audiobook is my favorite format but I really did enjoy this novel and appreciate the chance to read it!

The God of Endings is a fascinating take on classic vampires. The tone and writing brought to mind Interview with a Vampire, while the main character’s mental state harkened more to Jack Torrence from Stephen King’s The Shining. The vampires in this novel are very traditional in makeup; there are no innovations in vampirism here. Instead, we have a slow, introspective, deeply philosophical story as our central character struggles with the weight of her immortality. This debut is both contemporary and historical, literary and quietly horrific.

The story begins with Anna, the daughter of a gravestone carver in the 1830s. From there we meet Anna’s modern identity, Collette LeSange, as the proprietor of a prestigious private preschool. This is her current life, and we spend half of our time following her story in the present. The other half is spent following her life as Anna and Anya, from her childhood to her vampiric inception to her trudge through human history. In the present we witness Collette’s appetites suddenly and inexplicably change. As she becomes consumed by hunger and the fear of losing her mind or, far worse, her control, we journey alongside her as she contrasts existence with truly living. She is running from the nebulous God of Endings, who may or may not be a product of her frightened mind, and she must decide if running is still worth the effort and pain and heartbreaking loneliness.

This is a treatise on the pros and cons of immortality. It’s an exploration of the value of art and relationships. It contrasts a safe existence with a full life, and questions whether that safety is worth the loneliness it carries. The God of Endings is a thought-provoking, beautifully written novel. I found it a bit too long, and I predicted the resolution from very early on in the story, but this is absolutely a tale worth reading. I look forward to reading whatever else Holland publishes in the future.

DNF @ 46%
I was so excited for this book, and I'm very disappointed that I didn't like it.
I love unique vampire books and I loved Addie Larue, so I was expecting a combination of those two and that's not what I got.
Instead, we spent far too much time on our main character's past, so much so that I felt the main story just wasn't going anywhere.
I really wanted to love this book, but honestly I've had no interest in picking it up for several days, which means it's time to DNF.

Thank you to Netgalley and the Publisher for the audio ARC inexchange for an honest review.

This narrator---WOW. I adored the quick, easy switches between English and French. The multiple voices and accents. She was just superb. THEN to add on maintaining that clarity with me upping the speed to 2x; it was just great. The audiobook was 16+ hours, so speeding up the audio was essential for me.

Collette was not the immortal vampire that I was expecting, but I could not have been more drawn to her. From childhood to well beyond her natural lifetime, she was kind yet conflicted. Watching her come to terms with various relationships, seeing her love of children, having the duality of present tense and flashbacks... it all just worked together beautifully.

Overall: 4.5 stars

I'll tell my students about: drugs, overdoses, alcohol, violence, death, mental health issues, trauma, child death, physical abuse, animal harm

**Thank you to NetGalley and Macmillan Audio for the free ALC prior to publication. All opinions expressed are my own.**

I would like to thank Macmillan Audio for the opportunity to listen to an advanced copy of this book.

While I very much enjoyed this book, it's hard to put my feelings about it into words. There were times I felt that the backstory and the current story were two different books only loosely intertwined. I puzzled at the book's setting of 1984, as it felt like an odd choice and often overlooked in the greater scheme of the plot. I did like that I never seemed to know where it might meander next, and I was definitely enchanted by the character of Leo. The backstories seemed like little novellas all on their own, and I hope that was intentional. Colette/Anna seemed like a different person each time, which tied well into the theme of endings. When I thought of the story in terms of a vampire novel, this didn't rate among my favorites, but when I stopped viewing it as a novel about a vampire and instead as a story about a woman who lived a long time who happened to be a vampire, it felt more comfortable. Overall, it was a hauntingly strange tale and I did enjoy it. I find myself thinking about it after I finished it, which (for me) is the mark of a good tale. The narrator was very good and added much to the story itself.

3.5 stars

A well written and interesting vampire saga centering on Anna, an unfortunately unlikeable character imo. I did enjoy some of the historical fiction parts of the story that are intertwined with Anna’s contemporary shenanigans.

[What I liked:]

•I did like some of the side characters, like Piroushka (sp?), the landscape painter, Anna’s father, the young girl in Alexandria, etc. Several of them were more compelling & sympathetic than Anna was.

•There are some nice prose passages. I especially enjoyed some of the settings for the historical flashbacks, like Alexandria, the French alps, etc.

•The running theme of “the god of endings”, his pursuit of Anna, & her eventual belief in metamorphosis rather than fear of “ending” was an interesting part of this story. It both gave shape to the narrative & was a nice bit of world building/lore to learn about.


[What I didn’t like as much:]

•The book is very meandering & keeps flashing back between the present & various previous “lifetimes” that Anna has lived as a vampire. The structure does work for the most part, but sometimes it got annoying how often the narrative kept jumping around.

•I don’t really like Anna. She makes some very questionable moral choices all the while judging others (like her grandfather) for their amorality. She can vacillates between over caution & paranoia, and decides she hates humanity because the French authorities thinks (for very good reasons) she might be a German spy during WWII 🤷‍♀️ She’s just so irrational it’s hard to follow her motivations.

•Also a major plot hole imo is why does her grandfather turn Anna? He has no interest in her before or after, & doesn’t care what happens to her. He had no real motivation to do it. Also, why does he suddenly want to see her after centuries? That’s never explained, & it seems like it’s just a convenient reason for Anna to leave New York.

•Also, a very significant choice Anna makes at the end in relation to Leo goes against her oft-stated morality & again seems irrational & without clear motivation. I didn’t like the ending at all.

CW: child abuse/neglect, torture, murder, sexual assault, suicide, CSA, miscarriage, infidelity, substance abuse

[I received an ARC ebook copy from NetGalley in exchange for my honest review. Thank you for the book!]