— 4 ⭐️!
This book giving me many new knowledges when it comes to the “Transgender” and “living among the wolves”. It was such a great memoir book and give a deep and true meaning of someone ambitious and living up to ”go hard or go home”. At the beginning, I completely have no idea that I will get a chance to read this e-ARC but thanks to Netgalley for giving me the privilege to read this book! My first expectation about this book was; it would be more bullying and struggle come of hardship with no love from Geena’s families; her chance to be the pageant because she was deeply wanted to be one—not scouted; her longing of becoming a normal female being because something triggered her of her traumas; her path when she wanted out will be hardship and many more. But the few main points will be those thing I mentioned.

Truth be told, this book captivated me from the very beginning and hardly to put down. Because how she wrote things over into 4 sections and each sections has subchapter which explained pretty detailed on how she became what she is now. I also was amazed on how she pour her life into words and tell the readers everything she’ve been through and get reader’s emotions out of it. It was beautiful and mesmerizing.

Part I, Makati. This section focusing more on how she acknowledge her desire to be a woman and how she put her work into pageant world, especially in Philippine. Her bullying and how her society treated her but her families pretty supportive of the choices she took but she overcomes that in such a young age!! This was impressive and get my heart longing for the families out there who has Transgender child but not pretty supportive, I couldn’t imagine how they are overcome and facing the real world and proud of what they are. Even though, in this section she was pretty upfront and proud of who she becoming, her struggle and what struggle other pageant people have to be acknowledged was a chef kiss. She told the world or us the reader on what it feels like to be in pageant world in details.

Part II, San Francisco . As an Asian moving to the white people’s majority world and as someone different has different hardship and traumas in living the life they were not expecting to have. In this part of the book, she decided to moved out from her home to San Francisco with her mother. Her needs to have an F in her identity card was the dreams she had and what her mother promises to her, that’s why she decided to moved to SFO. When it comes to this part of the book, I as an Asian, know and get the emotions about what she was feeling towards everything surrounding her. Her shocking because it was quite different how life in as Filipino in her own cage and in a white supremacy city. Even though she was working not as what she was back in Philippine, she tried hard to do and be what she dreamed of until one day people acknowledge her and ask her to join to NYC to be like what she was in Part I—as a model. However, her hardship in this section also get her new knowledge on the first male she was encountered and she tried to out and be herself, the rejection she had when it was happening was quite shattering my heart.

Part III, New York City. Well, this one get into the part where she finally be what she wanted—meaning as a model like she was back in pageant world. The most hardship she overcome as a Transgender in this part was she afraid to be found out. And she also learn how to love someone who can love her completely even though it was outside of the other party’s expectations—meaning she was not born as a female. She also learn and discovered new things in this section of the book.

Part IV, The World. This part was the most crucial part because she expand her wings to be out and be who she is naturally. Even though she broke up with her long boyfriend because of the long distance and they wanted to pursue their own career, I assumed they still a good friend. She also met new people and try new things even though her mother disapproval because of certain magazine. And this part breaking my heart the most when she have conversation about freedom with her sister. This section of the book is pretty emotional to me.

To conclude, this book teach me new things that I never knew and things that uncommon to me my whole life. How she put her words and experiences into memoir is pretty awesome to be discovered. Also, her concept to pursue her dreams could be our arrow to ourselves. This book is a great memoir and I love every part of it!

- thank you to netgalley and the publisher for an arc to review!

- a powerful story of resilience and survival as a trans woman in a hostile society. a story of pain, but also of hope as Rocero recites her story in a powerful memoir.

This memoir is absolutely fantastic and reminded me of why I love this genre so much. Geena's narrative voice is distinct and so compelling, and I rooted for her from the very first page all the way to the end.

This memoir of trans woman model and activist Geena Rocero was incredibly powerful. Her story encompasses myriad different experiences due to her mix of identities, and the writing was vulnerable, tender, and inspiring at different moments. I thought her discussion of the different experiences of trans women in the Philippines and the United States and her road to activism were particularly wonderful. I think many will enjoy her writing and find much needed representation.

Geena's story is amazing and I am glad that I've read it.

Celebrity autobiographies are a bit difficult to judge in regards to writing. The writing is okay, but the content is great.

Just so stinkin good. I was approved for this ARC after my library copy came in, but I'm thankful for a digital copy so that my many notes and bookmarks can live forever in my Kindle. So funny, perceptive, and real.

Before I'd even finished this book, I knew it was one that I would be thinking about for a long time. I mentioned it in a DEI workshop, on my booksta, on my main, and in as many conversations as I could weave it into.

Geena Rocero describes an incredible metamorphosis where rejection turns into exploration, then to acceptance, and then to celebration.

I loved the noodling on what it means to decolonize the brain, examine the binary, and the lesser-known ways the SE Asian diaspora is linked.

One of the most powerful topics that Geena Rocero covers is identity and safety & the warped American dream: how it feels to be stuck in the closet after celebrating yourself on the other side of the world (and your home country), how a nation's policies fracture identity (you can be legally female in the same place it's dangerous to come out). HORSE BARBIE details the toll this dichotomy can take and examines why it should be even necessary to hide your true self.

A million stars - even having a digital copy of this, I still want to seek out a signed physical copy for myself.

2023 LGBTQIA+ Pride Month #17 ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

It's always difficult to rate memoirs, especially when the authors themselves aren't usually writers. However, Geena's story captivated me from start to end. The amount of pain and sadness involved in hiding your true self really got to me. But there is also happiness. I'm interested in following her career now, and will be watching her famed TED Talk.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher.

A remarkable memoir that is filled with tenacity, community love, and luck. As an immigrant myself, I can relate to her confusion of navigating the nuances of her adopted country. Tired of hiding her true identity, she bravely confronted her fears and relied on her strength that she was born with, along with the support of her family and friends. The Horse Barbie is a force to be reckoned with!

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

My Selling Pitch:
Do you want to read a memoir about a trans Filipino supermodel’s life?

Pre-reading:
I fully requested this book for the title and the cover, and knew nothing about the subject matter, but now I’m intrigued. How on earth did this book get its title?

Thick of it:
See, this is what is so frustrating with today’s conservative critics because it’s like it’s not just now that trans models are coming into the culture. They’ve always been there. They’ve always existed. You just personally didn’t know that they were there, but now that you know that this woman you wanted to fuck doesn’t have the right parts for you, you feel like it’s a bait and switch and like it’s an attack on you. It has nothing to do with you. She wasn’t yours to fuck and objectify to begin with. Not every advertisement has to be catered to your preferences.

The more I learn about the 2000s, the darker it seems for women, and I can’t believe I grew up in that and came out like this. No wonder all the girlies of this generation are so mad.

sampaguita

eskinita

kembot

palengke

apparador

daster

banderitas

isaw

lumpia

sisig

kuya

chismis

That’s so interesting that people think of tee shirts as their hair because it’s a thing on TikTok where men do skits impersonating women and they put a towel or they put a shirt on their heads, but like I’ve never thought of towels or shirts as my hair. I’ve had long hair my whole life though.

baklas

This is such an interesting history to me. I know nothing about pageantry.

They said gay horse. (Love those Try Guys)

Tikbalang

I wish I could see pictures of her pageant wins. I’d love to see this hairstyle. I googled her and she’s a stunning model.

japanera

wa buking

What the actual fuck Evan?

I dunno masturbating in front of your friend to reassure them is a wild concept to me.

Jersey is the armpit of America, but the body needs an armpit.

I understand why she’s not disclosing to her partners because she doesn’t want to jeopardize her career, but I think it’s fundamentally wrong not to tell your partner something like that. I understand the danger that comes with telling people that you’re trans, which is shit, but I think that’s a conversation that you really need to have because if they react badly to it, why on earth would you want to be with them? Otherwise, you’re living in willful ignorance, which seems disingenuous. And then, if you do tell your partner after you’ve been together for a while, I think a lot of people would have a hard time letting go of the fact that they’ve been lied to, even if it’s a lie of omission. There’s a big problem nowadays with dating apps and how people lie about their height or they Photoshop their pictures. I think all of that is wrong. You can’t get into a healthy relationship without representing who you are authentically. There’s this whole misguided, unspoken rule that you shouldn’t discuss politics on a first date, but I wanna know if you’re a piece of shit from the get-go. Moral compatibility should be one of the first conversations you have in my opinion. Get those relationship deal-breakers right out front. Give people the opportunity to show you who they are, and if it’s not something compatible with you, then they shouldn’t be your partner.

colazione

Even her mindset here, she’s so preoccupied with losing this man, and I’m like if he doesn’t accept you, you’re not losing him. You weren’t meant to have him. He doesn’t deserve you, if he can’t accept you. You deserve someone that loves all of you.

It’s wild to me that surgery has come so far that you could not notice.

Pretty privilege is real.

Her closing lines are really strong.

Post-reading:
Memoirs are so impossible to rate.

Because it’s not that someone’s life isn’t interesting enough or their perspective on their own life isn’t good enough, but like I crave some oomph, I crave some bite to my books. This doesn’t have that. It’s musey. It’s reflective. It somehow lacks emotion for me. There’s no anger in this book, and that feels impossible to me given her story and the state of the world. And then I sit here like is that even a fair criticism because I don’t wanna tell her how to feel about her life? From a narrative structure though, this book doesn’t really have any tension because there’s no problem to resolve. It’s essentially a timeline of her life. And I think it’s bland and anesthetized into not saying anything. This book has no hot takes. It doesn’t rail against the fashion industry, or racism in America, or transphobia in the church. It almost feels willfully ignorant at times of pretty privilege and the problems within those industries or communities. I think there’s a rather pointed absence of feminism discussion in the book. The only bits of other women in this book that we get to see are friends supporting her career or competition being envious of her. I feel like this book has ignored the mindsets and morals of the people she’s working with. Like what do the other models think about her status? What are their opinions on it? There’s no answering back to any people that would criticize her. Especially in the current environment that this is being published in, I don’t understand why there isn’t a chapter or two where she justifies herself to her critics. There’s no discussion about why she’s a fit model to advertise for “women’s products” like lingerie or makeup or whatever. (Which don’t get it twisted. She’s absolutely a fit model. She’s stunning. Products are for whoever wants to buy them.) Bud Lite and Target and so many other brands are dealing with the backlash from transphobic consumers. That conversation needed to be in this book. And then I think it’s irresponsible to have a book that talks about the modeling industry without acknowledging how inherently sexualized and objectified it makes people. Where is the eating disorder and body dysmorphia talk? Where are her opinions on that? I just wanted more.

This book is very much like thank you for sharing your story, but we need to have further conversations.

Who should read this:
People interested in human experience stories
People interested in hearing a trans experience

Do I want to reread this:
No

Similar books:
* Uncultured by Daniella Mestyanek Young-memoir about a girl who grew up in a cult and learned to think for herself and advocate for others

This book brought me so much joy. It was insightful, creative, and genuine. Rocero brings so much to the table; intimate details are shared as if they were to a friend. While this memoir had a clear point of view, there was never a moment where it felt like Rocero was preaching.

The book's construction was simple but highly intelligent and expressive. There were times references to earlier parts of the book were copied and pasted rather than acknowledging the connection and trusting the reader. That being said, ensuring the reader connected and understood the book's message was more important than playing with allusions and risking losing impact. There were a few moments where reductions could have been implemented by having a bit more trust in the reader: repetitive sequences (nightlife; noting that this is an important part of finding community, but not the only way), the copy-paste references, and/or moments of rote explanations.

"Horse Barbie" had a significant spiritual element to it. I felt connected to Rocero and was eager to learn more. The discussions of organized religion, colonization, and political oppression juxtaposed with the vivid, tenacious, creative, and colorful lives of the Author and the LGBTQIA+ community was a true gift.

It's always hard to rate memoirs because it is someone's personal experience and how do you really judge one's life? That said, Horse Barbie made it easy for me. This memoir follows Geena Rocero through her years as a Trans Beauty Pageant Queen in the Philippines through her experiences modeling in the United States. This was emotional, informative, and quite interesting. Really, it has a bit of everything that you'd want in a memoir.

I will say that there were some moments in this book that were very hard to read, but they are meant to be that way. When Geena is trapped into hiding her identity by the fear of losing her career, it feels like a gut punch. You want her to be able to be open and honest about who she is, but you also understand the risks that come with that honesty. Its heartbreaking and frustrating.

I also really loved the way that this book compared perspectives on Trans people in The Philippines versus in the United States. It was interesting that in The Philippines there was no legal recourse for gender or identity changes, but generally there is social acceptance where as in the US, there is legal recognition, but existing comes with the potential of physical danger, loss of jobs, and discrimination. We often think of the US as quite progressive, but this really highlighted how in a lot of ways we're still quite far behind.

And I loved the representation of Filipino culture in this book too. I grew up in a predominantly Filipino neighborhood in the States, so for me elements of this book reminded me a bit of home. In particular, I love the discussion of the role of Catholicism alongside Trans acceptance culturally. The discussion of beauty pageants as a national sport was also amusing/interesting.

All in all, if you want a look inside the world of modeling and pageantry, deep understanding of one individual Trans experience, and a bit of Filipino culture, you'll likely find this book enjoyable. Rocero is an excellent speaker and storyteller and her voice makes this a very enjoyable memoir.

*Thank you to Netgalley, Geena Rocero, and Random House for the E-ARC of this book. Reception of an ARC in no way affects the objectivity of my review.

Thank you to NetGalley for providing me with an ARC in exchange for an honest review!

I had not heard of Geena Rocero before requesting an ARC of her memoir, but the interesting title and description caught my attention and I’m so glad it did. Horse Barbie tells the story of young trans girl growing up and competing in beauty pagents in the Philippines and later moving to the United States and becoming a fashion model. Hers is a story of resilience and the power that comes in accepting yourself. Geena has gone through so many phases in her life and each one was compelling and interesting to read. I found it particularly interesting to read about the trans pagents that are so popular in the Philippines, making trans Filipinos “culturally accepted but not politically recognized.”

This vulnerable, funny, and powerful memoir tracks Geena Rocero's path from Filipina trans pageant queen to closeted New York City model to out trans advocate and artist. Rocero's narrative voice is wonderfully endearing and pulled me in right from the first chapter. I didn't know much about her story before this book, but now I'll never forget it.

In the Philippines, Rocero was a star: she was known throughout the country as a pageant queen, and her regular winnings kept her in comfort, if not in luxury. She could help support her parents just as they always supported her. She could be open about who she was. But there was a limit to how far pageants in the Philippines could take her—financially, but also, crucially, in terms of having her gender legally recognized.

In the US, Rocero could have it all: the magical "F" on her government documents, a modeling career (with a rise nearly as rapid as her pageant rise in the Philippines), relationships and steady income and recognition. But in the US, it was not possible to both be openly trans and to work as a mainstream model—the few who had come before her and been outed had been shunned, demonized, and excluded. And thus began years upon years of going "stealth," keeping the sex on her birth certificate a secret so that she could live the high-fashion life in front of the cameras that she had dreamed of.

It's so easy to forget just how far things have come since the early 2000s—there's still so far to go that sometimes it feels like there's been no progress, but of course Rocero is painfully on point, and I'm grateful to have this reminder of how complicated identities are for so many. There's some fascinating basic background on the Philippines here that makes me want to read more about that—a Catholic country because of its colonizers, but with a rich cultural history that included acceptance of something much broader than a binary gender system. The Philippines of Rocero's childhood, then, was a place where it was not always *accepted* to be trans—but where the trans community was so visible that there was at least always a baseline understanding. It sort of boggles my mind that she could be so successfully "stealthy" in the US (side note: "passing" is not really a term she uses in the book, so I won't either, and Janet Mock's "Redefining Realness" is as relevant a read as ever) but also be so sure that anyone from her homeland would be able to clock her in short order.

"Horse Barbie" details years full of joy and successes, but also a heavy load to carry. It's one thing to know who you are, but another thing to know how badly people might treat you for something as simple as your identity. Rocero never lingers on the heavy parts, but she also doesn't let the reader sit back and think that it was all easy. I'm grateful for that, too, because one of the reasons I read memoir is to be catapulted into someone else's life for a while, with all its complications, and I'd be remiss to come away thinking that the Philippines was a bastion of acceptance, or that success in the US made having to hide okay—because it might have been worth it to Rocero, to a point, but she should have been able to live her life without fearing what discovery might mean.

As is not uncommon, there's so much more that I want to say than will fit in a review of reasonable length, so I will leave it with just two notes: first, whoever is doing memoir acquisitions at the Dial Press has killer taste—all of the memoirs I've read from them in the past couple of years have been somewhere between excellent and exceptional. And second, a round of applause for Rocero's mother, who sounds like the sort of quiet champion every kid figuring out their identity should have.

Thanks to the author and publisher for providing a review copy through NetGalley.