Quite honestly, unlike anything that I have ever read. The craziness of reality tv competing with an actual monster who was killing off the contestants on the island was vivid and entertaining. What I enjoyed most about the novel was the emphasis on how reality tv is anything but real, the level of manipulation and planning that is involved with these shows along with the contestants who were both exploited and trying to exploit their opportunity to gain fame and money.
Thank you to NetGalley and Faber & Faber for the advanced reading copy.

This book is just delightfully delightfully bonkers in the best way.

Honestly, what a palate cleanser! The book follows the contestants of a reality dating show, a bit like The Bachelor, while they film the penultimate show on Otter Island, a remote spot somewhere near Seattle. All the contestants are more concerned with their social media following than finding true love and there’s not a single nice contestant among them.

It’s hard to say much about this book without giving away spoilers but it’s great campy horror that is also downright hilarious. The dialogue feels real and so do the characters and I could have read 100 pages more. It’s quite easy to read and I couldn’t put it down. But it is equal parts gruesome as it is funny.

5/5 - because not all good reads are Shakespeare or Booker prize worthy.

This book was fantastic but it has a weak ending. However ,as the majority of the book was brilliant it’s a fair if 4 stars

I loved this and devoured the entire thing in a day.

Starring a brilliant cast of gloriously unlikeable characters, this book was funny, gory, and a bit unhinged in the very best of ways.

It was the perfect B movie style horror and I had a great time trying to guess what would happen next.

I really liked the slow build up to meeting the title character, the tension building really well over the course of the book.

Overall this was a 5/5 read for me and I highly recommend it.

The first 70% of this book was mildly amusing but mostly boring and I felt that it wasn’t living up to both the blurb and my expectations.

Once it got past the 70% mark things started picking up and I was enjoying it a lot more. I also enjoyed the blog posts that were dotted throughout the story as it added a sort of 4th wall element to it which was fun. I thought the ending was brilliant too.

Although I didn’t love the book, I do think this story would make a fantastic camp horror movie!

The weird-ass book equivalent of a B-movie. If the film ‘Rubber’ had a baby with Netflix series ‘Love is Blind’ in 1984, it would end up being something like ‘Patricia Wants to Cuddle’. Hopefully it will get made into a film - the writing was so vivid (we all know a Vanessa and Dex could be any number of prime time TV hosts across the globe), it would be a shame not to adapt it.

Eeerm, Eeeerm
Okay, I am having problems starting this review. I mean where do you start? Okay, okay! I think I have my thoughts together! I might do…. Erm, I ‘m not sure
Oh, what the hell! Let’s dive in shall we and see what I can do.
Patricia Wants To Cuddle is a Satirical Horror story with a bit of Deliverance thrown in for good measure.
Look! Pack it in! I am trying my best, ok? OK?
So, I suppose you can tell I have no idea what this book is, but hey that’s ok.
The story revolves around the contestants of a reality game show, called The Catch (Ithink it is something like The Batchelor), where the contestants have to bitch it out to win the hand of king skank, the Catch. I can’t quite remember his name. Ooh….. I think it might be Jeremy! Anyway, let’s not dwell on that coz he is a bit of a dick, and he doesn’t really get centred on much.
Then there’s the contestants, the four finalists of The Catch, Vanessa (a trampy glamour girl), Lilah – Mae (a born again Christian, beauty Pageant, trust fund baby), Amanda (a seemingly vapid insta influencer) and Renee (older than the others and a virtual emotional void) and they all get whisked away to this Island called Otter Island, which seems to have been in its time a hotspot for gay tourists and a place where a number of hikers disappeared in mysterious circumstances back in the 90’s.
The story flits around the four finalists’ points of view with some intermissions from the social media website CatchChat. In addition to that there is Casey, producer and oft times Agent Provocateur thrown in for good measure.
I have to say, I enjoyed this book. It is completely barmy! I mean who thinks it’s a good idea to throw together a full-on dig at reality TV shows with Bigfoot.
Well, Samantha Allen does obviously!
For the first part of the book, we have the usual kind of set up with the protagonists making their way to the bead and breakfast where they are staying. And it is during this time that the story sets up the characters and how far they will go to discredit each other.
However, it is the second part of the story where things kick off and the reality show descends into a bloody mess – literally!
I am not going into any more of the plot, because if you think ‘Do you know what? That sounds right up my alley!’. It will spoil it for you.
In terms of characterisations, I don’t think that there is anyone that is likeable here, not even Renee, (who we know is placed there for the diversity ratings because the show’s producers tell you as much) as she is devoid of character due to her shutting herself down, both socially and emotionally.
Pacing wise, it takes a little to get going, but once we get into the third act, the story just whooshes along and you think WTF, is that it?
Overall, I found the book to be good fun and well worth a read.

This book was absolutely wild. I went into expecting a bit more horror but honestly I wasn't mad about the route it took. It was a really fun, if a bit unhinged, twist on reality show stories and I'm here for it. I really loved how the forum, blog posts and letters were used to really pull this all together and add mystery to the story without diverting too much from the main story. Really well written and a lot of fun.

3.5 rounded up
I loved the plot of this one: shallow reality TV stars go camping in a bid to win the hand of ‘The Catch’ and end up encountering Lady Bigfoot. There was a lot of set up and while there was a hint of Patricia thrown in here and there, she doesn’t really make her entrance until two thirds of the way through and then the pace almost feels rushed to get everything concluded before the end.
In saying that, I was consistently eager to pick up the book to see what happened next and I was entertained - also loved the side order of a sapphic romance which I was not expecting. Clever plot, clever writing. Would recommend to a friend.

For added authenticity I read this book on a trip to the Pacific Northwest, as this is the setting for this wonderfully weird comedy/horror. Set on the fictional Otter Island, the story centers around the cast and crew of "The Catch" (think 'The Bachelor' and you're there), who head to the island to whittle down the remaining four contestants to the two finalists who will head to the warmer climes of Palm Springs for the final showdown.
However, something lurks on the island that's about to start whittling the contestants and the crew down, without waiting for the Catch's verdict on his potential partner. And how come the locals seems immune to the carnage that seems to occur with alarming regularity? All will be answered in this riot of a novel.
Yes the story is a little ridiculous, but Allen pulls it off with such utter conviction and charm that you'll cling onto the beast's hairy back for the ride of your lifetime and be left wanting a sequel at the end. This book would make a great movie, especially off the back of the unexpected success of Cocaine Bear, as it also combines shock, horror, suspense and humour in equal measure.

“What was so maddening about being with you was that you always had it much worse than I did, and yet you always loved me better.”

Patricia Wants To Cuddle is weird. In all the best ways. I’m not sure how Samantha Allen cooked up the idea for The Bachelor meets Bigfoot and had time for a side dish of a wholesome sapphic romance but somehow she did and I am very grateful for that.

I really enjoyed this one and ADORE the way Samantha Allen writes. I can safely say I’ve never read a queer horror comedy before and am willing to demand 10 more from her! If you enjoy trash TV and camp horror/thriller films, you’ll love this one. My one issue with it is that it is somewhat of a slow burner which isn’t ideal for a short book but while I definitely preferred the dramatic and gory ending, I did also enjoy the slower paced start.

Team Patricia.

Oh, I did enjoy this. What a weird, wild ride.

Several game show contestants are taken to a remote island to film the end of The Catch, a reality TV show where one male contestant gets to pick the girl of his dreams. In addition, to these unlikeable characters are the producer, Casey, who is manipulating the contestants into falling out with one another to make good TV, the filming staff and a regularly drunk game show host.

The one redeeming character is Renee, who seems an unlikely choice to be there among the other girls, all of whom are keen to boost their social media followers and ratings.

However, what they find on the island isn't the dream ending they hoped for. Or maybe it is for one character!

If Black Mirror and King Kong had a baby, maybe the satirical horror Patricia Wants to Cuddle would be the outcome.

As well as the tension building as things ramp up on the island and among the contestants and the gore, there are some tender moments which offset some of the more horrific elements.

I imagine Samantha Allen had a lot of fun writing this book.

3.5 rounded up.
An entertaining read. I found it easy to get into and rattled through it. I felt like it was wrapped up too quickly- I needed more Patricia.

The concept of this book is fantastic but the execution leaves much to be desired. Apart from two brief sightings, Patricia doesn't appear until half-way through the book and she was the biggest reason I started this novel at all.

The first half is spent following the journey of the four gameshow contestants and their producer, none of whom are particularly interesting. I must admit, I did dislike the producer, Casey, a lot and it was a little satisfying when she came to her untimely end, but the other women and men were deeply boring. The backstory given to each character throughout the first half of the book is rendered irrelevant as all but one of them gets brutally murdered. Even the brief moment of character development and reconciliation between two feuding characters is cut short by Patricia appearing and mutilating each of them in turn.

I do like a book that appreciates nature but not at the expense of suggesting human life is insignificant. I understand that in the grand scheme of things, many of the petty problems that humans face are not that important and that the universe has been around long before us and will continue long after we have gone, but being reminded of that towards the end of the book just makes me wonder why I bothered reading the rest of it.

Renee has made it to the final four of The Catch, the biggest and most watched reality show in the world. She should be delighted. But she is just not feeling that excited about Jeremy ‘The Catch’, and can’t help thinking that she has only made it this far to tick a box. The final show is usually held in a beautiful tropical location. These lucky final four ladies have gotten the opportunity to travel to the remote Otter Island for their final showdown, to try and win Jeremy’s affection. Budget cuts suck.

As the show begins to set up, Renee and the other contestants begin to realise that there is more going on than just the usual pre-taping drama. The producer is known to play sly tricks to rile the girls up and pitch them against one another to make for better TV. But what starts happening is so much more than tricks. The contestants soon realise that the final elimination event could soon become very real.

This book is completely unexpected and an absolute barmy, wild, satire-driven ride, in the best possible way. It was a camp horror, a thriller, humorous, creepy, ridiculous, deep, dark and hilarious all in one package. I don’t know how one book could start out as one thing and bring me to another place so completely, but I love it for it. I would never watch a reality show such as that portrayed in this story, so the slightly mocking undertones of the writer, Renee reluctantly participating in the show, and the behind the scenes set-up of the show was fantastic. The other show contestants all played into the stereotypes you would expect, yet we still got more from them when things got really bad.

I really can’t say any more about what happens as it will run the entire book for you. All I can say is that I expected one thing from this story and got many other things instead, and I am absolutely not mad at it for that!

*I received this book from NetGalley for review, but all opinions are my own.

A campy and hilarious skewering of Bachelor-type dating shows with horror elements thrown in - a book you have to go into blind and won't be for everyone, but I really enjoyed the satire in this. A lot of fun!

3.5 maybe?

For better or worse, I couldn’t put this one down. Well-paced and entertaining - the reality show essence of it really shone through.

The main characters were all insufferable but that was to be expected, oddly enough it was Amanda that I found most endearing lmao. It was certainly an interesting and promising premise but for me, it didn’t live up to the potential. The first 60ish percent built the atmosphere up quite well but then the final third felt very rushed - the side characters, Patricia herself and Renee’s place in their world could’ve been explored in greater depth. I didn’t find the horror that horrific - though I’m not sure if that says more about me than the book itself.

Though not my favourite, I’d still recommend this as a quick read to get you out of a slump - I finished it in one sitting which is rare for me.

This madcap thriller/horror novel is not my usual genre of choice but I'd heard such good things I decided to give it a go. And I was glad - it's great fun, in a macabre way. The story is told from multiple perspectives (clearly indicated with the viewpoint character's name at the top). It opens with the four semi-finalists in a reality TV show, along with the crew, presenter, and the dozey internet billionaire whose hand in marriage they are competing for, travelling to a remote island off the coast of Washington state. Everyone is so focussed on either winning the show, or creating compelling TV, that they're not going to be put off by a couple of odd happenings. Glamping on a bare mountain top all night with only some paper thin yurts for protection must be a good idea, right? Well, obviously not, but it's all part of the fun.

Most of the story is a close-to-the-bone satire on the falseness of reality TV and the associated social media circus. It's funny, and surprisingly compelling. Of course as a reader you're primed and ready for the thrills to start, although it does make you wait a while. The characters are moderately interesting, at least for a horror novel where deep character development isn't often the top priority. Certainly I found it compelling and the fact the action is kept till the end works well because you've built up more of an investment in the characters by then.

There are plenty of plot holes and the whole premise is daft, but it's forgiveable. I did wish we'd got more explanation though at the end - even a few pages of expansion would have made it feel more satisfying. There is blood and gore as you'd expect from a horror novel, and I'm not keen on that usually, but I didn't find anything deeply distressing so I think I'd count it as mild. If you don't like that, it's not the right book for you. There are some references to suicide in various places, so readers who avoid the topic should steer clear.

Overall I found this fun and really hard to put down - and I probably won't look at reality TV in the same way again.

Absolutely ridiculous and highly readable, with a surprisingly lovely twist. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Loved this! It's so random! Basically think Love Island meets sasquatch in the mountains.

I hate those programs with a passion, I absolutely cannot stand them, and this story basically plays this well. Turn that into Airheads Vs Lady Sasquatch and my interest significantly increases!

The only thing I wish there was more of was Lady Sasquatch. She is the title character but there wasn't enough of her!

It also took a while for the story to get going, don't get me wrong the character building was excellent but once you get to the horror element of this book it's essentially ending. It was, however, a highly entertaining and funny romp through the woods with the resident Bigfoot.

I would recommend this!

It's brilliant!