Another excellent mental illness memoir. I fell in love with the family from the first pages. Kissinger's writing settles the reader squarely in the midst of this vibrant family. While I understood the utility of her journalistic voice as she advocated for changes in the mental health system, my favorite parts were the stories from her family life. I was grateful for this peek inside such a colorful, complicated, richly loving family.

Many thanks to NetGalley and Celadon Books for gifting me a digital ARC of this beautifully-written memoir by Meg Kissinger - 5 stars!

Meg grew up in the 1960s in a wealthy suburb of Chicago, one of eight children. Looking in, life seemed to be perfect. But inside, it was a different story. Her maniac father was prone to violence and her mother was medicated and hospitalized for anxiety and depression. The thread of mental illness wove itself through her siblings as well, even though no one could discuss any of it. Meg took her personal struggles and made it her professional mission - to expose our country's flawed mental health care.

This book touched me on so many levels and I couldn't put it down. The first part of the book, focusing on Meg's family, was so engrossing. The family used humor as a coping mechanism and that humor softened the edges of reading about such tragedy. The second half of the book focused more on the failures of our country's and society's approach to mental illness. While the book definitely focuses on a difficult subject matter, and will deeply touch those who have been affected by mental illness, there was still a lightness and hope for the future in this book. I also loved Meg's strong Catholic faith and appreciated her including that part of her story. A must read!


While You Were Out begins as the personal story of one family’s struggles then opens outward, as Kissinger details how childhood tragedy catalyzed a journalism career focused on exposing our country’s flawed mental health care. Combining the intimacy of memoir with the rigor of investigative reporting, the book explores the consequences of shame, the havoc of botched public policy, and the hope offered by new treatment strategies.

In While You Were Out investigative journalist Meg Kissinger explores the lack of an effective mental healthcare system in the U.S. through her own family's struggles. Kissinger was one of eight children in a Catholic family on Chicago's North Shore. While they're a typical, if dysfunctional, family in many ways, mental illness runs rampant through their members and whether it be the time (largely the largely the 60s/70s/80s) or the place (their Catholic community) there is stigma to overcome and just a lack of options for good care even for a relatively affluent family. Later, Kissinger uses her platform as a newspaper reporter to investigate and highlight the lack of policy and infrastructure we're still dealing with today.

A thoughtful and compelling blend of memoir and investigative reporting.

"While You Were Out" serves as journalist's Meg Kissinger's memoir, shedding light on her upbringing and family and the underlying motivation for much of her investigative work on mental illness. Growing up in the middle of 7 siblings in the suburbs of Chicago, Meg's upbringing could have followed the typical American storyline but became wrought with tragedy and loss, losing her sister Nancy and later her brother Danny to suicide, as well as both of her parents, Holmer and Jean, to cancer. Beyond just a simple recounting of her family's past, however, she looks into the underlying events and factors that contributed to these devastating losses - from the societal pressures for women to have large families, the unrestrained prescribing of drugs like Valium, the alcoholism that both of her parents succumbed to, and how overlooked and denied mental health and illness was during that time.

In full transparency, this is a difficult read. Looking back on this period of time, especially as a woman, is especially frustrating - Kissinger shares just how tumultuous her childhood was with parents barely managing their own mental health (one bipolar and manic, the other struggling with severe anxiety) that was only compounded by substance addiction. Especially as a child, she was helpless to do anything aside from watch her parents self-destruct and bear witness to the affect this had on her siblings. We follow as well the tragic domino effect of each loss within the family, and how inescapable grief and pain seemingly become as time goes on.

I really have to commend Meg Kissinger for not only sharing these dark, painful moments from her family's past, but taking these experiences and pivoting them into something good. Some of her initial work was deeply personal pieces about losing both a sister and brother to suicide, but she was also able to turn the spotlight onto other families and individuals who were struggling, highlighting the pitfalls and weaknesses of the public health system and the lack of understanding of mental illness by society as a whole. While this not a book that I would recommend to anyone given the myriad of topics covered, it is an eye-opening look into how severely mental illness can impact individuals beyond the one who's struggling, especially across families and society as a whole.

thank you Celadon for the complementary review copy as part of your Celadon reads program (via NetGalley). While You Were Out was a great read, one I am glad I had the chance to review. This is a tough but important memoir, I could connect with a few themes (Catholic upbringing, an extended family that doesn't talk about things such as feelings and emotions and alcohol use though certainly my life does not mimic the intense mental health challenges and loss in this memoir) so I really respected Meg Kissinger bravely offering not only her story but an open examination of how this country handles, and does not handle, mental health.

At a time when we truly need to address pandemic related mental health challenges, find spaces for more inclusive and trauma informed treatment and learning spaces, and when we collectively need to talk more openly about mental health and strain, While You Were Out is a welcome and necessary book to open dialogues.

If you are a reader who would find examination of mental health, alcoholism and related self harm and family dysfunction hard, this is a memoir not for you so read through content warnings and notes on this book ahead of time.

Thank you again to Celadon for this review copy, it is a valued memoir.

Meg Kissinger, an award winning journalist, generously shares her personal history of growing up in a well-to-do family with seven siblings that harbored secrets. Until circumstances brought them a certain notoriety. Her focus has been on the silence and shame that surrounds mental illness, hoping that her own experience will encourage readers to view sufferers of bipolar disorder and Schizophrenia with as much compassion and understanding as, say, cancer. This memoir honestly approaches life with the afflictions in the house, and how it was not acknowledged. In fact, when a beloved sister ends her own life, their father insists the family reply that it was the result of an accident.

🧠Book Review🧠
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Summary: Growing up in the 1960s in the suburbs of Chicago, Meg Kissinger’s family seemed to live a charmed life. With eight kids and two loving parents, the Kissingers radiated a warm, boisterous energy. Whether they were spending summer days on the shores of Lake Michigan, barreling down the ski slopes, or navigating the trials of their Catholic school, the Kissingers always knew how to live large and play hard.

But behind closed doors, a harsher reality was unfolding―a heavily medicated mother hospitalized for anxiety and depression, a manic father prone to violence, and children in the throes of bipolar disorder and depression, two of whom would take their own lives. Through it all, the Kissingers faced the world with their signature dark humor and the unspoken family rule: never talk about it.
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Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
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My Thoughts: I rarely read non fiction but I really enjoyed this one. It is a dark and heavy read. So proceed with caution. However I think this was important. It derailed life with a family history of mental Illness and really just broke my heart. I did miss out on all the wonderful photographs in this one because it was an ebook ARC. However my only flaw is that I feel like this is marketed as a analysis of how the mentally Ill are in a flawed system of healthcare. I don’t think the author really touched on that idea until the last 15% of the book. Overall it was fascinating thank you so much @celadonbooks and @netgalley for the advanced copy.

WHILE YOU WERE OUT
Meg Kissinger

WHILE YOU WERE OUT is part memoir, part investigative journalism, and altogether a reckoning.

WHILE YOU WERE OUT takes the reader through Meg's family history. Specifically her family's ongoing battles with mental health over decades, over generations.

We learn who in her family suffered. We learn how they suffered and we learn how Meg's family dealt with it. The good, the bad, and everything in between.

There is a lot of trauma discussed within the pages. There are tough conversations about suicide, addiction, church and faith, the government's role in everything, and the human costs associated with ignoring the problem.

At its heart- it’s heartfelt. Taking a subject that is hard to talk about and putting a face and a name to the statistics that are easy to ignore.

This book is for everyone. Those who suffer and those who endure the suffering through loved ones.

Thanks to Netgalley and Celadon Books for the advanced copy!

WHILE YOU WERE OUT...⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

While You Were Out by Meg Kissinger is the story of one family, of many families, of us all. It is a beautiful, necessary and hopeful memoir of growing up in a family with mental illness and addiction. It is also about how society has let the weakest fall through the cracks…

(Be sure to check out content warnings before reading it if that is something you need to do).

Kissinger chronicles her life from even before she was born, in order to understand the beginnings of the chaos she experienced. Growing up in a large Catholic family with parents who suffered from mental illness and substance abuse, in an era when this was extremely taboo and talk of suicide was hushed up, the family struggled to find answers and help but there was no functioning system in place. (And there still isn’t!) I was fascinated by Kissinger’s family stories. She wrote with painful honesty; the love and joy in her family was always there, even though they had to endure chaos and heartbreak again and again.

Kissinger became a successful investigative reporter, covering mental illness and exposing scandals of the health care system. After years of interviewing others, she realized it was time to face her own fears and feelings about growing up in this family (her siblings gave her their blessings to write this memoir.)

An important book on family and mental health, love, understanding, forgiveness and hope. This book opened my eyes to the reality so many families have to live with; it touched and opened my heart.

I wish everyone would read this book, especially those in a position of authority – if we all could unite and make mental health care a priority just think of what could be done…

While You Were Out by Meg Kissinger is a beautifully written story of this author’s family and their struggles with mental illness and alcoholism. This is a heart wrenching story that will tug very hard on your heartstrings. Ms. Kissinger gives an intimate view of her families struggles and challenges of these two very misunderstood illnesses. This is a very emotional story. The idea of writing about you and your families mental illness is commendable. In this day and age it is no longer a hidden illness/disease. It is one that should be brought out and dealt with properly. Ms. Kissinger brings light to it all. I highly recommend this powerful story, it will stay with you long after you are finished.

Thank you NetGalley, Celadon Books and Meg Kissinger for this very poignant story. The opinions expressed are strictly my own.
#netgalley #celadonbooks. #megkissinger
#whileyouwereout. #mentalillness. #arc
#celadonbookinfluencer

A really fascinating and intimate look of a family heavily affected by mental illness. Kissinger was so open and vulnerable and the generational issues at play made this a huge win for me. Appearances aren't everything, and While You Were out really illuminates that. This is also set where I grew up and I could relate in many ways to a lot of what was portrayed about the community at large. Highly recommend this to people struggling and not struggling with mental illness alike!

Thank you Netgalley and the publisher for providing me an ARC of this memoir in exchange for my honest review.

This is a very honest and heartfelt memoir about family, heavy mental health issues, and the lack of adequate services in our country for those who need it most. The author writes in a tone that is brutally honest and invites the reader into her family in a way that made me feel like I really knew each of her sibling and parents by the end of the book.

I enjoyed the first 2/3 of the book more than the last, simply because the author veered into a more journalistic style of writing at the end, and while it was very interesting and relevant, I preferred the style she used to tell her family story.

There are so many possible trigger warnings for this memoir, so I suggest looking those up before reading.

I read this book in 2 days, and was very engrossed in the author's story.

Thanks to Celadon for the eARC.
This might be one of the best memoirs I've ever read. Kissinger holds nothing back in hopes that sharing about familial and general mental illness will get more recognize and support that it desperately needs. While sharing about her family, she was honest with the good and the bad. There was such a perfect balance of touching family memories along with the dark, emotional parts of growing up in a family where there was a lot of mental illness present. She reflected in a way that made me empathize with her. She wasn't afraid to admit there were faults and what could've been done better. I think this was told at such a time that the honest reflections were able to be vulnerable and completely open with the reader. I applaud this family for their willingness to have their pain and trauma laid bare so that we readers hopefully are inspired to take or continue to take action for better mental health care reform in our country. It's not a memoir I will soon forget. I highly recommend the audio, too. While I started in print, the audio is read by Kissinger and it was powerful.

Very honest, emotionally touching memoir. Made me reflect more on my own family history and the struggles of previous generations.

A beautiful memoir with truth and honesty. Heartache when dealing with mental illness and their family.
Thank you NetGalley for the ARC.

From the outside, Meg Kissinger’s big Catholic family appeared to have it all. Behind closed doors, her family was plagued by mental illness. With dark humor and deep vulnerability, Meg shares the story of her traumatic childhood in her memoir, WHILE YOU WERE OUT: An Intimate Family Portrait of Mental Illness in an Era of Silence

After losing two of her siblings to suicide and reckoning with her parent’s debilitating mental illness, Meg pursued investigative journalism as a career to reconcile her trauma from the past and work to improve the systems that failed her family. Readers who enjoyed The Glass Castle won’t want to miss WHILE YOU WERE OUT.

RATING: 4/5
PUB DATE: September 5, 2023

Many thanks to the publisher for an electronic ARC in exchange for an honest review.

This memoir is full of heartache and sadness. The Kissinger family suffered from many forms of mental illness in their family of 10. The devastation suffered by the mentally ill and emotionally unstable reaches all races, religions, demographics and genders. It doesn’t get talked about near enough, which is why this book is so important.

Meg Kissinger writes with a heavy heart, yet manages to inject some humor into her family’s struggles. It is brilliantly written and I highly recommend it. Thank you, NetGalley and Celadon Books for the ARC.

**Many thanks to NetGalley, @CeladonBooks, and Meg Kissinger for an ARC of this book!**

Meg Kissinger grew up in a veritable whirlwind of uncertainty: as one of EIGHT children, life was always an adventure. Though she had two loving parents, the duo presented one side of their personalities to the outside world, and an entirely DIFFERENT side to their family. Meg's mother recognized the presence of nascent mental health issues prior to their marriage, but perhaps didn't realize the severity until several years later...at the same time her husband's hot temper turned their home life upside down.

In the meantime, a couple of Meg's siblings started displaying symptoms of mental health issues, including bipolar disorder and suicidal ideation and everything begins to escalate. When Meg actually LOSES one of her siblings for good, the situation reaches a fever pitch. Meg pursues a career in journalism, desperate to uncover the truth behind the nature vs. nurture of mental illness and to make a difference in the way it is handled in our country. Can she finally urge her siblings to break their silence and help one another cope, all while having the bravery to share her story...with the world?

As a staunch advocate for mental illness awareness, education, and acceptance, I was very intrigued by the premise of this memoir and hoping for an emotional and impactful experience reading this book. Things were a bit slow at the start, with a VERY exhaustive family history, including discussions of the background of Kissinger's grandparents (which I'm not sure was very relevant) but I hoped after this initial info dump, things would pick up. The introduction mentions the information included in the memoir was compiled from interviews and the like, so what I was hoping to read WERE excerpts of interviews and the like to help get me into the minds and hearts of the members of this family.

But instead of feeling like I could CONNECT with Meg and her family members, I very much felt like an outsider looking in. The detail in the first half of the memoir was just TOO much for me. Instead of opening a window into her past and the thoughts and emotions that helped to shape her, I felt like I was reading very exhaustive, long-winded stories with details that didn't necessarily make an impact. I felt very sad for Meg and the situation she was in, but this was based more on the straight facts of her life than writing that showed any emotion. I'm not sure if this is just because of KIssinger's background as a journalist, but as a huge feeler, I was hoping to connect to the tales she was telling...but I felt the age gap rather dramatically. Though I'm certainly not as young as she was experiencing some of these events, I was very aware of the author's age at the time she penned this book, and in this case, it wasn't a good thing.

At the beginning of the next part however, there was a dramatic flip: Kissinger went into pure journalist mode, and I felt like I was reading a different book. Her exploration of the background of the trajectory of mental health programs in this country and the roadblocks that popped up along the way was engaging AND infuriating. We had such a potential for change in this country many years ago, and instead of moving away from mental health institutions in a pragmatic way, so many of these people were instead funneled from institutions into the prison system, or ended up on the street. THIS was my great takeaway from this book, and rather than a memoir, I was inspired to check out some of Kissinger's journalism pieces on this very subject.

While I applaud using this forum to work through the pain that Kissinger dealt with over the years, as a reader, I was missing the emotional connection I was so hoping to find, especially dealing with such sensitive subject matter. I think a book focused on her decision to WRITE this book would have been more interesting: how did she get from there to here? When I read a memoir, I tend to have the best experience as a reader when I feel as though I know the author far better after reading it. But after reading this particular memoir, much like a therapist at a withdrawn patient's very FIRST session, I felt like I had been left with FAR more questions than answers.

3.5 stars

#WhileYouWereOut #CeladonReads

This is a book I think everyone needs to read, perhaps me most of all. The author is a few years older than my parents and from the Midwest, but like her, I am the very Irish daughter of drinkers with a German last name. Like her, though not to the same tragic effect, mental illness and addiction run in my family. In my family, I am probably the sickest, but I have managed to survive after 25+ years of mostly active mental illness, a feat in our poor “system.” This book made me think and feel many different things, but the main ones were relief at being seen and relief at the improvements in quality of life for the mentally ill that have come for some of us (and dismay for those of us who continue to become unhoused as a result of their mental illness). To sum up, this is a wonderful memoir that I highly recommend.

Thank you to NetGalley for a copy of this book.

Kissinger held nothing back in this book and shared all of the painful and tragic parts of her childhood and life. She honored her late sister and brother by telling their stories, the good and the bad. couldn’t imagine writing this book was easy but it was well worth it. This was a very heavy read but such an important one.