**Many thanks to NetGalley, @CeladonBooks, and Meg Kissinger for an ARC of this book!**

Meg Kissinger grew up in a veritable whirlwind of uncertainty: as one of EIGHT children, life was always an adventure. Though she had two loving parents, the duo presented one side of their personalities to the outside world, and an entirely DIFFERENT side to their family. Meg's mother recognized the presence of nascent mental health issues prior to their marriage, but perhaps didn't realize the severity until several years later...at the same time her husband's hot temper turned their home life upside down.

In the meantime, a couple of Meg's siblings started displaying symptoms of mental health issues, including bipolar disorder and suicidal ideation and everything begins to escalate. When Meg actually LOSES one of her siblings for good, the situation reaches a fever pitch. Meg pursues a career in journalism, desperate to uncover the truth behind the nature vs. nurture of mental illness and to make a difference in the way it is handled in our country. Can she finally urge her siblings to break their silence and help one another cope, all while having the bravery to share her story...with the world?

As a staunch advocate for mental illness awareness, education, and acceptance, I was very intrigued by the premise of this memoir and hoping for an emotional and impactful experience reading this book. Things were a bit slow at the start, with a VERY exhaustive family history, including discussions of the background of Kissinger's grandparents (which I'm not sure was very relevant) but I hoped after this initial info dump, things would pick up. The introduction mentions the information included in the memoir was compiled from interviews and the like, so what I was hoping to read WERE excerpts of interviews and the like to help get me into the minds and hearts of the members of this family.

But instead of feeling like I could CONNECT with Meg and her family members, I very much felt like an outsider looking in. The detail in the first half of the memoir was just TOO much for me. Instead of opening a window into her past and the thoughts and emotions that helped to shape her, I felt like I was reading very exhaustive, long-winded stories with details that didn't necessarily make an impact. I felt very sad for Meg and the situation she was in, but this was based more on the straight facts of her life than writing that showed any emotion. I'm not sure if this is just because of KIssinger's background as a journalist, but as a huge feeler, I was hoping to connect to the tales she was telling...but I felt the age gap rather dramatically. Though I'm certainly not as young as she was experiencing some of these events, I was very aware of the author's age at the time she penned this book, and in this case, it wasn't a good thing.

At the beginning of the next part however, there was a dramatic flip: Kissinger went into pure journalist mode, and I felt like I was reading a different book. Her exploration of the background of the trajectory of mental health programs in this country and the roadblocks that popped up along the way was engaging AND infuriating. We had such a potential for change in this country many years ago, and instead of moving away from mental health institutions in a pragmatic way, so many of these people were instead funneled from institutions into the prison system, or ended up on the street. THIS was my great takeaway from this book, and rather than a memoir, I was inspired to check out some of Kissinger's journalism pieces on this very subject.

While I applaud using this forum to work through the pain that Kissinger dealt with over the years, as a reader, I was missing the emotional connection I was so hoping to find, especially dealing with such sensitive subject matter. I think a book focused on her decision to WRITE this book would have been more interesting: how did she get from there to here? When I read a memoir, I tend to have the best experience as a reader when I feel as though I know the author far better after reading it. But after reading this particular memoir, much like a therapist at a withdrawn patient's very FIRST session, I felt like I had been left with FAR more questions than answers.

3.5 stars

#WhileYouWereOut #CeladonReads

This is a book I think everyone needs to read, perhaps me most of all. The author is a few years older than my parents and from the Midwest, but like her, I am the very Irish daughter of drinkers with a German last name. Like her, though not to the same tragic effect, mental illness and addiction run in my family. In my family, I am probably the sickest, but I have managed to survive after 25+ years of mostly active mental illness, a feat in our poor “system.” This book made me think and feel many different things, but the main ones were relief at being seen and relief at the improvements in quality of life for the mentally ill that have come for some of us (and dismay for those of us who continue to become unhoused as a result of their mental illness). To sum up, this is a wonderful memoir that I highly recommend.

Thank you to NetGalley for a copy of this book.

Kissinger held nothing back in this book and shared all of the painful and tragic parts of her childhood and life. She honored her late sister and brother by telling their stories, the good and the bad. couldn’t imagine writing this book was easy but it was well worth it. This was a very heavy read but such an important one.

This was a brutally honest look inside a family of 10, all struggling with their own battles with mental health. All members of the family were shamed in to silence; they were unable to recognize the signs of mental illness and unwilling to talk about it. This memoir is heavy on topics of generational trauma, depression, suicide, and death.

I really enjoyed Kissinger’s story telling. She does a wonderful job bringing to light how taboo the topic of mental health was not that long ago and, because of that, the limited resources that were available for the treatment of mental health.
This is THE mental health memoir of 2023

Thank you Celadon Books and Meg Kissinger for an arc of this memoir. It was heartbreaking and inspiring to read about how mental health was viewed in the late 20th century and is even still viewed today. I grew up in a big family and I always enjoy reading how other large families navigate. This story was very raw and eye opening. At times I couldn't believe how in depth the author discussed her family but I also think its important to discuss these topics specifically seeing how it affected her overall family unit. It was inspiring to see how Meg used her journalism to fight for better mental care. I would recommend this memoir!

This memoir was a hard read at times, but equally hard to put down. Meg Kissinger does a fantastic job of shining a light on mental illness. Her personal accounts of living with immediate family members struggling with alcoholism and mental illness will stay with me for a long time.

I thoroughly enjoyed While You Were Out by Meg Kissinger, a detailed history of her large, midwestern family's experience with mental illness. While I am an (elder) millennial, I saw a lot of my dad's family in their story - he grew up in a large midwestern family and you have the sense at the time things were just "not talked about". There is a lot of mystery there that I dare not unpack. Meg Kissinger, as a journalist, documents many of these things not discussed and her family's devastating journey to confront them. I appreciated the author's honesty and humor. Five stars!!

Meg Kissinger’s While You Were Out is such a powerful book. She has been such a loud voice, such an advocate for adequate, competent, compassionate mental health care, has never hesitated to speak up about the failures of the system, and reading this book makes it clear just how personal it is for her. She is not a random do-gooder working in the abstract; she has experienced the workings of the mental health system from all angles, experienced the frustration of knowing help is unlikely and a cure is next to impossible. All of that is strong and powerful enough, but when she reveals her own family dynamics, issues and tragedies occurring over so many years it becomes a book that you absolutely cannot turn away from.

Her portrayal of growing up in the 1960s is stunningly accurate. We envied all those other families that had it all together, who weren’t as “nuts” as our own families were. Financially comfortable, nicer homes, nicer clothes, and, we were certain, nicer parents. When somebody gossiped about one of those perfect family members that did something scandalous we just thought “oh well, every family has one crazy person” and we didn’t feel quite so envious for a little while.

We weren’t very compassionate, either. Nobody needed to know our shameful secrets. And mental illness was definitely something you were supposed to be ashamed of. We didn’t even say mental illness, and certainly not depressed or suffering from trauma. Anxiety? What was that? If your husband had a good job and you were so lucky you could stay home with your children, what on earth did you have to be anxious about. Everybody drank. If you couldn’t control it or cope that was on you and you’d better keep it hidden.

While I’m not sure there are many families that could match trauma for trauma, tragedy for tragedy, dysfunction for dysfunction with Kissinger’s family, it has a familiar feel to it and brought out a lot of “aha” moments of understanding. It is heartbreaking to watch the story of her family unfold. From the distance of time it’s easy to wonder why her parents didn’t stop drinking, didn’t get help, couldn’t see how so many of their children were seriously suffering and how every one of their children had emotional problems. But we didn’t talk about those things, didn’t even have the words, and furthermore, we were terrified that saying it out loud would somehow make the worst thing imaginable happen.

Thanks to Celadon Books for providing an advance copy of While You Were Out to me as a Celadon Book Reader via NetGalley. It is thought-provoking, heart-breaking and hopeful. Well-written, detailed, riveting. I voluntarily leave this review; all opinions are my own.

I don’t have much to say except that this was a 5 star from me. It shows a family in pain but with unbelievable amount of resilience. As someone who has a family member with bipolar, I could relate to the vibrations that makes in a family… and that’s only one piece of her story.

Books like this crack my heart but find a place there forever.
highly recommend.

Mesmerizing story of mental health and growing up in a large family dealing with mental health. This was sad but I also learned a lot.

3.5 stars
A good memoir. Meg really does a good job of portraying how mental health was such a huge stigma in the not so distant past. Hiding and not addressing these issues can only make things worse. She stressed the importance of finding a balance and not being afraid to seek help.

Thank you to Celadon and Netgalley for the opportunity to review this arc.

“In headlines and news copy, we call them “the mentally ill.” In truth, they are our mothers and fathers, our brothers and sisters.
They are us.”

Ok Meg Kissinger, you win. I’m mad. More mad than I have probably ever been at the injustices for the mentally ill in this country.

“No one I knew had a sister who was sick like this, lying in bed most of the day with some strange illness that had no name, couldn’t be seen on an x-ray or confirmed through blood tests.” The silent killer. 😞

This is a powerful and utterly fascinating memoir that takes a hard look at how mental illness absolutely ravaged a family and how little was available to them at the time in the way of help, counseling, or support.

This book is raw and real and at times very frustrating and difficult to read. Can you imagine getting up EVERY day and having to fight your own mind? I cannot. And I simply cannot fathom why anyone is judged for having to fight that fight. I am disgusted. Truly.

This book should be required reading for everyone on how mental illness can destroy a person and, thus, their family and how to be supportive, compassionate, and how to talk about it. They should not be shamed. They need help, not judgement.

As seems to be the norm as of late, i purchased this book after having been #gifted a digital copy by @celadonbooks. So thank you, and to Netgalley and the author.

While You Were Out by Meg Kissinger focuses on Kissinger telling the story of her parents and siblings while growing up in 1950’s Chicago amongst a large Catholic family. She shares the profound impact mental health had on her family while shedding light on the legacy created by covering up, denying or just having a lack of education on how to support someone facing mental health challenges. Her personal stories shed a light on a much bigger systemic problem which a lot of people may find all too relatable.

Kissinger is a journalist who has spent years investigating and working to combat the stigma surrounding mental health. We follow her family's story from her and her siblings' early childhood long into parenthood. It’s both easy to understand and hard to digest as Kissinger does not shy away from the painful and the personal. Yet, despite the tough hand the family was dealt, it reveals how they were able to come to a better understanding of themselves and one another, which ultimately increased their connection.

I highly recommend checking the trigger warnings before reading.

Thank you to Celadon Books for providing a review copy through NetGalley. All opinions are my own.

While You Were Out: An Intimate Family Portrait of Mental Illness in an Era of Silence by Meg Kissinger ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💫

A big thanks to @netgalley and @celadonbooks for the ARC. Pub day is today! 🎉

This was an intimate look at a family’s life with mental illness and their dedication to be aware of and advocate for better treatment. I got warm fuzzies at the end reading about how much the siblings leaned on and supported each other. I also was impressed with the author’s investigative journalism career that shed a light on the horrible conditions in which mentally ill people were having to live.

This is one of those books that you have to read the entire thing to understand the choices the author makes. The beginning was confusing for me at first as 1) it introduced so many family members and 2) it was told from the perspective of a confused child. I appreciated these choices by the end of the book as I think it helped me see how the author processed and put together the story of her family. Her journey to discover why and what could have been different unfolded in this book. It was hard to read at times with its raw honesty.

All in all, if you want a look at generational trauma, mental health struggles, shame, grief, and love, pick this one up. Please research triggers before diving in and take care of yourself before, during, and after reading.

#FirstLine ~ When we were little, my sister Patty and I liked to pretend that ferocious tigers lurked in the space between our twin beds, just waiting to rip us to shreds.

Prepare to embark on an emotional journey like no other with this remarkable memoir. Through its pages, the author shares a deeply personal account that is both brilliantly written and profoundly touching. With raw honesty, they invite readers into the most intimate corners of their life, laying bare their struggles, triumphs, and heartbreaks. The narrative is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit, as the author navigates through life's most challenging moments with unwavering courage. The emotional depth of this memoir is staggering – the stories are heart-wrenching and the experiences are recounted with such vividness that you feel every emotion alongside the author. Each chapter is a poignant reminder of the beauty and fragility of life, leaving a lasting impact that lingers long after the last page is turned. The author's writing skillfully captures the complexity of their emotions, and their vulnerability is both inspiring and humbling. While the stories may be heartbreaking, they are also a testament to the power of the human spirit to find hope and healing even in the darkest of times. This is a memoir that will touch your soul and make you reflect on your own journey. It's a reminder that life's challenges can shape us into something stronger, and that even in our moments of deepest sorrow, there is still room for the beauty of resilience and the triumph of the human heart. Truly a masterpiece that will resonate with readers long after they've closed the book.

An absolutely incredible memoir!

Meg Kissinger writes her memoir, While You Were Out, and touches on stigma of mental health, and what could be happening behind closed doors. It is unfortunate that there is still a stigma around mental or emotional health. Meg's family seemed like the typical American family, as she grew up in the 1960s in Chicago. Meg Kissinger now, is an award winning journalist, and I was so amazed at how she told her story. Her family's story, making her very brave to share something so intimate and personal. Meg's mother had depression and anxiety, and was sometimes hospitalized and over medicated. Her father, was, at times, manic causing violent outbursts, and of course, this also affect the children. Two of Meg's siblings had bipolar and depression and committed suicide. Their family dynamic was more than dysfunctional, but it had an emotional and mental toll on each family member. Perfect in public, depressed and suicidal in the confines of their home. It a story that is very candid, and though, they have had their problems, the family could use humor, and love. The secrets stayed in the home. Meg grew up and dedicates her life to exposing the cracks in the mental health system. I was so honored to read this story. It's an endearing and heartbreaking true story of their experiences. While You Were Out is a definite recommendation by Amy's Bookshelf Reviews. I read this book to give my unbiased and honest review. Amy's Bookshelf Reviews recommends that anyone who reads this book, to also write a review.

Journalist Meg Kissinger charts her family's history with mental illness in her memoir While You Were Out. She grew up in a large Irish Catholic family in the suburbs of Chicago, one of eight children. As she recounts her childhood, the challenges her family faced were very much a mix of genetics and environment. Both her parents had mental health struggles- her mother was frequently hospitalized, but the family did not talk about it. Her father has bipolar disorder and struggles with alcoholism. One by one, Meg's siblings start having mental health challenges, some becoming quite disabled by them, with two ultimately ending their lives. Despite the widespread challenges throughout the family, it was not something discussed. When her sister ended her life, the family wanted everyone to say it was an accident, and no one properly deals with the death leading to more mental health issues and alcoholism among some family members. This is a tough read a times- it seems like they just cannot get out from under the weight of mental illness. And it is not until much later that the surviving siblings compare notes and support one another. Because Kissinger is a journalist, this memoir reads differently than others I've read involving mental health challenges. She appears very much an outside observer through much of the book, and balancing the journalist/subjective memoirist aspect appeared to be a challenge at times, especially as the latter half of the book pivots to more of a journalistic piece about the history of mental health treatment, statistics around the population, etc. I enjoyed most of this though as it is a fascinating case study of a strong genetic connection, a challenging home environment, and lack of communication.

Thanks to Celadon Books for the advance reader copy in exchange for honest review.

Thank you to NetGalley for this eARC. Well, when I was trying to select new novels for my memoir course, I knew from the subtitle that this one would be in strong contention. Kissinger's memoir is heartbreaking, especially in its scale. The story begins with a family of 10, 8 siblings in total. The tragedies that befall this family are vast and span the course of decades, but really, the most tragic is that many of these tragedies happen in an era of silence. The attitudes toward mental health in America are changing, somewhat, but this memoir shows the scope of that change from the 1950s, beginning with deinstitutionalization, onward into the contemporary moment and in the aftermath of COVID. The memoir sings best when Kissinger focuses on her family, but there is a notable shift in the tone of the text starting around part 3, lapsing from a family-focused piece to the larger implications of medical care for the severely mentally ill. It breaks one out of the reverie a bit, but overall, this text hits you in the gut and it's one that I'll be recommending to my students for a long, long time.

5 STARS! I loved this story about a real family, with a history family mental illness, including their incandescent personal journey. The author explores her unique perspective as a journalist, and how she was able to unveil the poor conditions of the mental health care system through her work. This story will also inspire readers to look out for those they love & emphasize that asking for help is something everyone must do more of in this world.

I so appreciated Kissinger’s expertise in investigative journalism which made this raw memoir even better with history of mental health practices and advice with a call for communities to do better. Her childhood family life is, at times, hard to read as she is unflinching in her recount of the widespread mental illness within her parents, grandparents and siblings. As a member of a family with generational mental illness, I related to the “accepted” chaos in the family and not talking about the many elephants in the kitchen. It’s shameful, indeed, when our government doesn’t provide care for those who need day to day help functioning because of mental illness. I hope many read this one and reach out to their government reps and demand more.