first off - i LOVE this cover. it is stunning! secondly, i enjoyed this book overall. i usually don't vibe with YA but this one didn't read too young and it kept me on my toes.

So, that was interesting! I fully admit that if I would've gone in with different expectations, I think my rating would've been higher. However, where I was expecting an action packed, sapphic thriller with intense ballet life and a dark villain origin story, it really kinda went in a different direction. And I realize that's not a fault with the book so while I am giving this 3 stars, this very well may be a 5 star read for others as I don't think this is a bad book whatsoever. The characters are mostly unlikable in my opinion, but Laure is an awesome MC and her motivations were very clear. This is a dark story with high stakes for her, so seeing her slow descent into darkness was fascinating. While I wish the pacing was a bit more steady and the characters much more likable, overall I think there's a lot here to enjoy. The horror is DISTURBING which I loved.

This book was incredible. It is packed with intensity and drama from front to back. It felt like fire running through my veins. If you like stories about female rage, about messy, monstrous, unapologetic queer Black girls, about matching harmful systems of power violence for violence until they come crashing down in a blaze of vindictive glory, then you absolutely have to read this.

Everything about this story is perfectly considered. The backdrop of a ballet academy is the perfect choice for a horror story, because if you know anything about how cutthroat the ballet industry is, the way it demands that you sacrifice your body, humanity, and individuality on the altar of beauty and art, then having a monster be born into that atmosphere and *because* of it makes a whole lot of sense.

I can’t even put into words how satisfying it is to read this book. Like I said, it’s gruesome, it’s violent, it’s graphic, it pulls no punches when it comes to Laure slowly but surely giving herself over to monstrosity and I love it for that. To see a young poor queer Black girl lean into her power without remorse, with regret, without feeling the need to stifle herself or make any explanations, no matter how terrible and perhaps uncontrollable that power may be, is so incredibly cathartic.

And it’s so freeing because Laure has spent so much time doing things the quote-unquote “Right Way,” holding herself prisoner to these unattainable standards of skill, and morality, and restraint in all the ways that are supposed to maker her palatable and acceptable, and it never works. Obviously a lot of that stems from the compounded systemic oppression she faces on a daily basis. So it’s powerful to see her say, “Fuck it. I’ve tried to be ten million different versions of myself to be what everyone wants me to be. I’ve tried to follow these steps that are supposed to lead me to success, and it’s not happening. So I’m gonna do things the way I want to. I’m not going to hope that people see me; I’m not going to give them a choice.”

The story is taking that concept of “carving out space for yourself” to a whole new level, and using this mechanic of forbidden eldritch power to show how you can’t carve out that space for yourself by going down the path of least resistance. You have to make people uncomfortable. You have to make waves. You have to forcibly disrupt the system. You have to go against the grain—all of which are often perceived by those who hold the power as “violence.”

The story tackles all of those things—white "fragility," white compliance in maintaining and upholding Black suffering and the semantics of marginality, how BIPOC people aren’t allowed to succeed without being accused of “taking someone else’s opportunities”—and it’s bringing all those conversations to the fore through this tremendously effective horror lens.

The other thing I loved about this story is that there are so many parallels to “Phantom of the Opera,” especially in its aethetics and thematic explorations, which made my heart very happy. (The ballet itself, I believe, is actually set in the same opera house.)

It has that same vibe of selling your soul to the devil for the sake of achieving greatness, it has that same juxtaposition of this incredible artistry being haunted by an evil or corrupt history, it’s a similar sort of cautionary tale about exclusion and the desperation that might cause. But most importantly, I definitely see parallels between the two because they’re both stories about being hurt by something you love so much—about how, when you pour so much of yourself, and your identity, and your humanity into something that only seems to have value when it is witnessed, you will inevitably come to live and die by the sword that is your own creation.

That could be a whole thesis paper in and of itself, so I’ll leave it at that. But suffice to say, I found those parallels to be very intentional, very satisfying, but also incredibly smart, because it’s very much in the background, in the subtext, and doesn’t stand in the way of this story’s uniqueness.

There was also a dark romance element that I was very much into. I do enjoy a good Monster x Monster romance, and that aspect of the story was incredibly compelling. Again, if you want to read something and feel vindicated, feel deeply sated in your bones, feel as if you’ve been baptized in fire, then you have to read this. I loved everything about this and I cannot recommend it highly enough.

I adored this book. It's absolutely vicious, brutal, and gorgeous. I was amazed at how clearly the language merged the beauty and wonder and creation of the ballet with the horrors it inflicts on the bodies of the dancers. Every character in it was fascinating, and I was rooting for Laure every step of the way (even with full understanding that we would not get along in the slightest). Delicious and satisfying. I loved every minute of it.

This book was absolutely unreal. Captivating, eerie, grounded in the the cruel and sadistic world of ballet. Jamison Shea's writing in incisive and I actively *screamed aloud* when I got to the end only to find out a sequel was on its way. This book was easily one of my favorites this year, and I've already hand sold several copies (and bought one myself, because the construction is truly stunning).

I read this last month actually and have been dying to talk about it. If you are looking for a villian origin story, I’m always searching for those personally, this is exactly what that is. We follow Laurence who is a  student at the Ballet Academy of Paris and they are auditioning for their final performance and a spot at the Paris ballet, Laurence is a character who severely doubts herself, very relatable, and her emotions turn even more hardened when it’s become very aware of the classism and racism at this academy, she’s being overlooked and she is willing to do whatever it takes to get to the top, including striking a deal with the river of blood in the Catacombs. That’s right, the paris catacombs, super spooky. This is a great horror debut by a nonbinary Black author that addresses racism, privilege and the just vicious world of ballet which I know about but have never delved into in a book before, I don’t think, at least not this deep. I believe it’s YA but it read more new adult with how creepy it got, it’s really dark, bloody, I mean the cover does suggest that as our character is in a literal river of blood, a great book to dip your toes in if it’s not a genre you typically read.

What an absolute ride of a book. I couldn’t put this one down & finished it within 24 hours! A smart, dark read, I loved this book and love a bit of a villain origin story. There's so much to this and a lot of great commentary on race, privilege, and class. I really enjoyed this strong debut and look forward to more from Jamison Shea.

Dark, bloody, and immersive, this was unputdownable. It felt a bit long at times, and I found it a bit slow to get into, but once I did, I was hooked. I loved the themes of ambition, drive, and friendship, and really really loved the concept of Laure becoming a monster, in the face of her ambition.

For fans of: Black Swan, The Hazel Witch, Chlorine

Jamison Shea wrote an unapologetically ambitious, black, main character who was willing to bleed (literally) to achieve her goals. Laure is never delusional about what it takes or what she has the stomach to endure on her way to becoming a star of the Paris Ballet. In fact, she states time and time again that she'll do anything. Practice until she collapses. Bleed into her shoes and risk losing toenails. Fry her hair to straw in order to fit the mold of the perfect ballerina.

All this before she even makes her deal with an eldritch godly river of blood.

The way in which Shea has given this character the space to reach for her dreams with wicked thoughts and clawed fingertips is something that we don't see in literature often (read: hardly ever). This is so important for young black teens to have an example of, whether realistic or fantastical. These are young people who don't always see someone who looks like them, live in their dedication, determination, and drive, beyond the basketball court or a football field. Laure's journey touches on so many of the struggles and frustrations that come with being black in an industry that is not only harshly unwelcoming, it tells you that you do not belong. The way to overcome that might not be to dive into a river of blood in exchange for power, but that's not what readers will take away from this beast of a book!

Readers will witness the rage and wrath of an angry girl, exhausted from all the many micro-aggressions, and the macro-aggressions, clear the path to her own success!

Shea's writing is exquisite. Their prose is poetic, their word choice is lethal, and their characterization is fierce. This book is an impressive way to launch what I'm sure will be a long-standing career years from now.

If you love a good villain origin story, ballet, France and main characters with ambition, you should absolutely add I Feed Her to the Beast and the Beast Is Me to your spooky season TBR.

Laure is an excellent ballet dancer; she works herself into the ground to make sure of it. As a Black ballerina, she is often overlooked for less talented white dancers, but Laure is willing to do whatever it takes to claw her way to the top, including striking a deal with the river of blood in the Catacombs. Wielding the influence and adoration the deal affords her, Laure takes the spotlight she's been denied, leaving broken bodies in her wake.

I really enjoyed this book! It's a great horror debut by a nonbinary Black author that addresses racism, privilege and the vicious world of ballet. The writing was perfectly creepy, and Shea does an excellent job of making you empathize with Laure even as you're horrified by the things she does. I'd highly recommend this to horror fans!

While I overall enjoyed this villain origin story, I struggled a lot with the pacing. The location and overall eeriness of it did make up for that in part, however.

A cutthroat and raw story about the strive for artistic perfection and lengths we're driven to when we love a world never meant to love us back.

I'm DNFing this book at page 185(ish). I think I have read enough to warrant not claiming this was a DNF though. I will possibly try again in the future but at the present time, the story just isn't it for me. I love all things creepy and usually love stories involving ballet/dancing but these characters are just reading as even more extra than I'm used to. It could also be the narrator for me, I'm not entirely sure. I do know that I feel like the catacombs and the spooky parts were being overshadowed by Laure's quest, I was hoping the story would be more driven by the "deal" than the attitudes/drama between the dancers/teachers.

(I switched back and forth between the ebook and audiobook once I was approved)

Despite consistently being at the top of her ballet class for years, Laure is constantly overlooked because of the color of her skin. Without much of a family (she’s estranged from her father), the ballet is all Laure knows, and she desires recognition and success for her hard work and dedication. She’s determined to get it at any cost. To accomplish her goals, she’s led into the depths of the Paris Catacombs and strikes a deal with a river of blood. Maybe not her best decision.

I watched Black Swan several years ago, and this book is very similar with its cutthroat, competitive characters. These ballerinas may be beautiful and graceful on stage, but they’re ruthless and vile underneath the outer facade. Villain origin stories fascinate me, and Laure’s is a twisted journey full of ambition and power. You either love her or you hate her, but there’s no denying she’s a complex, deeply flawed character. Pacing is a little uneven for my taste but picks up near the end.

This story is full of dark themes, some gore and blood, so it may not be for every reader. It doesn’t necessarily end on a cliffhanger, but a second book is coming. A compelling debut.

I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher through NetGalley. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.

Wow. Wow wow wow wow. It has been a long while since I’ve read a YA thriller and was immediately obsessed with it, its intricacies, and its powerful themes.

The ballet world is something I’ve dabbled in across books, movies, and television. So I was aware of the disparities and inequities between those the ballet considers to be the perfect model of a ballerina, and those who don’t fit that traditional model. “I Feed Her to the Beast and the Beast Is Me” gave me an even deeper dive into the harsh world of ballet from the point of view of a young Black girl, Laure, with an axe to grind who makes a deal with a river of blood in order to surpass her cutthroat privileged peers.

Right off the bat, we are shown the differences in treatment between Laure and her peers. We’re shown how she has to be the quiet, graceful, and agreeable ballerina in every situation, while her mainly white fellow ballerinas are allowed to be vocal, bitter, and more times that not, straight up nasty to one another. It automatically leads you to be on Laure’s side, even though we also see from the very start that Laure herself has some dark and angry thoughts about her peers. I found her very likable in the beginning of the book and didn’t mind her dark thoughts because that’s just how she is forced to navigate the world she is in.

However, the further I got into the book, the more I questioned if Laure was overstepping or maybe being too dark/evil in her thoughts. I never once disagreed with her in the fact that she should make her awful, bitter, privileged peers pay, but some of her thoughts got a little crazy sometimes. Although, even then, I still rooted for her. I still liked her. Especially because we are shown that while she has monstrous thoughts and feelings, she still has human feelings like love, hope, yearning. She still cares about people.

This became very apparent to me during a scene where Laure is at a memorial for someone, and that someone’s friends are recounting stories and memories about that person. Laure sat there in wonder while these stories were told, because she couldn’t fathom the acceptance these people had for their friend. She had never experienced this type of care from friends because her own alleged best friend, Coralie, sucks.

Coralie is the worst. From chapter one, I couldn’t stand the girl and I’m glad we aren’t meant to like her. No matter how much Laure thinks she cares about Coralie, I couldn’t.

Once Laure makes new friends, some outside of the ballet, was a turning point for me in the book. I loved Josephine, and Ciro, and Andor, and Keturah. I loved their acceptance for Laure, monstrous traits and all. Specifically Andor and Keturah. Those two are my actual favorites. From Andor’s poisonous garden and bouquets of flowers, to Keturah’s hair braiding, to them saving Laure time and time again. I LOVE THEM, YOUR HONOR.

Now onto some of the thriller/mystery/gore aspects of this book. Not once did I confidently know who the big bad was throughout the entire book until we are told, which made it so engaging for me to read. The descriptions of blood rivers, monsters, etc., were chef’s kiss in the thriller category. And the gore? Actually had me wincing. Something I found so impressive was the use of body horror in relation to the ballet and ballerinas. The gruesomeness of what ballet can do to one’s body made me wince more than any other body horror that took place.

The ending of this book was incredibly satisfying for me. Everything I needed to be wrapped up, got wrapped up. I came out of he book feeling a connection to Laure. I understand her anger and why she made the choices she did. I rooted for her, I hated her, and I loved her. I see her as so deeply human, despite everything that unfolded.

Other things I loved: found family tropes, THE ROMANCE SUBPLOT WE GOT YES PLEASE THANK YOU GIMME MORE, and the fantasy aspects.

I’m beyond happy with this book. I love these characters. And I am so excited for book two because that surprise at the end? Yes PLEASE.

This story revolves around Laure, a ballerina in the Parisian ballet. She often feels overlooked, especially as a black ballerina, so she decides to travel to the Catacombs of Paris to strike a nefarious underworld deal.

I thought this had promise in terms of premise, but I struggled to get into the story. It does pick up some once Laure strikes her deal, but it still didn't give me the creepy vibes I thought it would from the title and cover.

I Feed Her to the Beast and the Beast Is Me is a dark and thrilling YA horror novel by Jamison Shea. It follows Laure Mesny, a Black ballet dancer at a prestigious school in Paris. Laure is determined to succeed but faces discrimination and racism from her peers and teachers. When she strikes a deal with a mysterious entity in the Catacombs, she gains the power she needs to rise to the top, but at a terrible cost.

The novel is a slow burn but incredibly atmospheric and suspenseful. Shea does a masterful job of creating a sense of dread and unease as Laure's descent into darkness becomes more and more apparent. The horror elements are subtle but effective, and the body horror is gruesome.

The characters are complex and well-developed. Laure is a fascinating protagonist, driven by her ambition and desire to be accepted. She will do whatever it takes to achieve her goals, even if it hurts others. The supporting characters are well-rounded and memorable.

Overall, I Feed Her to the Beast and the Beast Is Me is an excellent YA horror novel I highly recommend. It is a dark and disturbing story, but it is also beautifully written and thought-provoking.

Thank you to NetGalley and Macmillan for this ARC.

It’s well-written and easy to read. The prose itself is lovely. White YA, it feels like it has crossover adult potential. I stopped at the end of chapter 1 (6%), but I’d imagine this will lean toward four stars for the target audience and five for the right reader.

Thank you to NetGalley and Macmillan Children’s Publishing Group for the ARC.

I Feed Her to the Beast and the Beast Is Me at first glance seemed to be everything I could ever want in a YA horror novel. I enjoyed the first 85% of this book immensely. I couldn't wait for what I truly thought would be a perfect, bloody culmination of all the Laure had worked toward. I was sure it would be breathtaking, but alas. I don't think the author managed to stick the landing on this one. Perhaps teens don't need to see actual on-page depictions of a character getting some well-deserved revenge, but I also don't think it sends a great message to marginalized teens that even in this escapist story, they don't get the satisfaction of seeing someone who looks like them win in the end (and I don't consider that clawless ending a win). I guess I didn't appreciate how weak the character was written to be after all that build up. Still, we did end up purchasing this title, and I have recommended it to several people, specifically for the bipoc and lgbtq+ rep in the horror genre.

Thrilling, jaw dropping, this story kept me on the edge of my seat. I saw a review compare it to the Black Swan and I definitely agree. This story was chilling and makes me look at ever ballerina with a side eye. The whole industry has always seemed so intense and cut throat which made it the perfect scene for this horror. There were times I wish I was watching a movie instead so I could cover my eyes. I had to also refrain from reading this at night towards the end of the book. There was also the element of the mystery of murder which added to the suspense. Thoroughly enjoyed this read.